Tayla Story - 009

I didn't come out the rest of the day.

My mum came to try and get me to come down and eat at dinner, but I wasn't hungry.

I told her that I was feeling sick, and she went away.

I just didn't want to see Kayla's face. Yes, even hours later I was still upset. Maybe I'm being unreasonable, I get that, but I just can't deal with it. I don't want to see her face, because it makes me upset. I can't blame her for that, but I also can't see her without being reminded of Alexander, and the fact that he still isn't here. That he's not even on this planet.

I should apologise to her at some point, though. I feel bad about how I acted before. It's just upsetting and frustrating.

I bury my face deeper into my pillow.

I don't know where the time went, but it's quite late by now. I'm not tired though, because I haven't moved all day. But I'm absolutely famished. Everyone will have gone to sleep by now, so I slip out into the kitchen to grab something to eat. I take careful steps while I go down the stairs to make sure they don't creak, though they always do. Hopefully it wasn't too loud.

Down in the kitchen, I open up the fridge and have a look inside.

Ah.

My dinner from tonight is sitting there. Mum cooked my portion anyway. She's too good to me. She doesn't deserve a child like me. I heat dinner, chicken and pasta, in the microwave and carry it up to my room. The bowls still warm, so I pull down my sleeves to hold the sides, while I tiptoe up the stairs, and back into my room.

When I shut the door and turn the lights back on, I can see my phone lying on my bedside table. There's a light blinking on it. Given that it's plugged into the charger, that probably means that I've either missed a text or a call. Or it needs to be updated.

That seems most likely. After all, it is quite late at night.

I sit down on my bed, putting the bowl to the side, and reach to grab my phone. I take it out of the charger, and turn it on. On the lock screen, I see something that I'd thought incredibly unlikely.

A text message.

From Alexander.

I almost dropped my phone from the shock.

Alexander? Is he back? He must be. To send a text message… he must be back on Earth. Is he already in Christchurch? In New Zealand? He didn't say…

Oh.

I should probably read the text first.

Alexander: I can't call because I'm still in Singapore, but I'm about to board a flight. Can I come see you first thing tomorrow? I really need to talk. Sorry I took so long, I really missed you. Love you.

The screen becomes quite blurry about halfway through. It isn't even a long message, but it's more than enough to make me cry. A happy river of tears, though. I can't believe it. After all of this time, Alexander's finally coming back to Christchurch. Back to me. It seems unbelievable, but it's real. He's really on his way back.

I can't call him or text him though. First, he's overseas, and second, he might be on an airplane. Either way he won't get it until he lands. No, I still can text him back, and he'll read it when he lands. Then, knowing him, he'll probably come here straight from the airport…

Wait.

But that would mean, he'll see Kayla.

…

…

What will happen if he meets her?

Surely, that would change a great deal of things. Like, what if Alexander's still in love with her? That would be… horrible. It would be the worst. I can't have that.

What if, she convinced him to go back to Wellington with her?

It wouldn't be too difficult to keep Alexander away from her either. She's only going to be in Christchurch for one more day. All I would need to do, is keep him away from my house until she's gone.

…

…

…

…

Me: Hey Alexander, I have a really busy day at school. I'll come see you afterwards. Love you too.

My finger hovers over the button for half a second. I know that I'll regret sending it. I know that I'll hate myself for this. But I can't. I can't even begin to imagine if Alexander wasn't here.

If I felt the way I have these last few days, or perhaps even worse, for months on end… I don't know if I could deal with that. And that's what would happen, if Kayla stole Alexander away from me.

I just can't.

I can't let this happen.

I push my finger into the screen, and the text sends.

Alexander won't see it until tomorrow morning most likely, but there's no delay in the wave of guilt that I feel.

I'm disappointed in myself, but…

I think I would feel worse later on if I didn't do this.