CHAPTER 15

I'm in a bit of a bind. I had a dream about Caleb. In the dream, his features were a blurry, but it was unmistakably Caleb. And it was a naughty dream. I shuddered when I thought about it. I must have been very disturbed or really stressed out to be having wet dreams about Caleb. I could barely look at Caleb these past 2 days. I almost didn't want to go to Caleb's swim meet just now. Looking at him was beyond awkward. I kept imagining stuff from the dream. I am so weird!

It's the semi-finals. I finally decided to come. I sat at the arena with Lois and her friends. Ever since Caleb been coming over, she and her posse have embraced me into their circle. Which only meant that they tolerate my presence because Caleb's in the package. And Lois has been shaping up to be a really good friend. Thanks to my dirty mind and those naughty dreams, something weird was going on and it's making me nervous. I've started looking at Caleb as a guy and not as my best friend's younger brother. It's scaring me and I didn't like it.

Caleb, in the meantime, had started to become really popular. He was never alone. He's always with girls around him. And that is to be expected. He'd been training every day after class for almost 2 weeks. And I have been hanging around at the pool while he trained. And believe me, he has a huge cheerleading section just devoted to him. There were slews of girls who hung around the pool while he practiced and those slags make me want to hurt them, really badly.

When the swimmers came into view, everybody went crazy. A lot of the girls were holding up signs with Caleb's name on them and screaming his name. As usual, he's wearing my band t-shirt. Urgh, why was he wearing that ratty thing?!

Caleb's POV

I looked around the arena for Charlie. She promised she'd come early. And I haven't seen her for the last 2 days. She told me she won't be coming to practice because she didn't want to distract me since my semi-finals were coming. If only I could tell her how much of not a distraction she actually was.

"Hey, man. What are you looking for?" Grey Simmons, a swimmer from Western asked as he took off his t-shirt.

"I'm looking for my girl." I said as I scanned the bleachers. Just then I saw her. My lips broke into a smile. She saw me too, so I smiled at her and blew her a kiss. She laughed.

"Really? So, which one is she?" Grey asked looking at the direction I was looking at.

"There she is." I pointed at Charlie.

"You mean the Goth girl? She's cute." Grey said in approval. Yeah, Lois was smiling and waving at me, too.

"No, not that one. The girl sitting beside her. That's Charlie." I said proudly as I walked to my spot and took off my t-shirt.

"Oh, okay. She's sweet." Grey said with a shrug. He just smiled amicably and went to his spot.

I will tell her how I feel about her tonight. It's driving me nuts and I need to tell her. The whole week had been torture and I had a feeling she was probably feeling the same way? I mean, she hadn't push me away when I hug her ever. And she'd been known to hit me over the head if I hugged her too tightly. Fvck it, I'll take my chances. I know for a fact that Damien's out of the picture, judging from how she froze and almost snarl when I mentioned his name.

The announcer called all the swimmers to get to their marks. I got ready and waited for the gun fire. When it fired, I dove with images of Charlie smiling swirling in my mind.

Charlie's POV

I cheered for Caleb until I was hoarse just like everybody else. In the end he won most of the race and was qualified for the finals, which would be next week. It would be an away competition. Which sucked since I won't be able to watch him.

"Oh my God! He won! He is so hot!" Lois cried as she waved her sign with the sentence 'Marry Me Caleb!' written on it. I almost laughed out loud. Seriously, she got it bad. I told her so, but she said it's just for fun and that she's doing the sign thing on my behalf. As if!

I waited for Caleb at the lobby with Lois and her posse. When Caleb came out with other swimmers, the crowd went crazy. I had to stand back and let them have their moment with the star swimmer. I saw Caleb receiving hugs and kisses from random girls. But he kept looking back at me and smiling apologetically. I just gave him an 'It's okay' smile.

"Hey beautiful! Thanks for waiting!" Caleb said as he jogged towards me. I smiled and shrugged.

"Hey, yourself. You did great in there. I already sent your video to Dara. I think she already texted you." I said as we fell into step and walked towards the exit. Caleb suddenly took my hand and we walked down the steps towards his bike. I came with Lois and her guy, so I needed Caleb to send me home. I wasn't trying to do anything. Really, I wasn't!

"Hey, let's go to the lake. Full moon tonight." Caleb said with a cheeky grin. I shrugged and agreed.

We rode his beat up Harley to Lake Washington. There were quite a few people there. We parked and hopped off the bike. Caleb helped me with my helmet as usual. Then he took my hand and pulled me with him. His hand felt warm and soft in mine since he swims all the time. We never held hands like this before, but I wasn't complaining. It felt nice. I grasped his hand in mine as well.

We sat near the banks and watched some kids lighting up fireworks. We talked about normal every day things. Suddenly, Caleb took my hand again and gave it a squeeze.

"Err, Charlie. I have something I want to tell you. It's..um..it's pretty important." Caleb said in a serious tone.

"What is it? Are you ok?" I was worried. He looked like he was about to tell me that he had contracted a terminal disease and would die soon. He was clearly uncomfortable. He took a deep breath and started talking.

"Um, Charlie. You know we've known each other since we were kids. And you..well..you're very important to me." Caleb said with a slight quiver in his voice.

"Well, you're important to me, too. What's wrong Caleb?" I was worried. He looked a little pale.

"I, um..I don't how to tell you..But um...Hell, this is hard.

Caleb came closer. He took a deep breath and looked at me. I raised my eyebrows, confused with what was happening. I leaned forward.

Suddenly Caleb grasped my hand in his and pulled me to him gently. And his lips met mine. I was shocked beyond words. I stared at him as he kissed me softly. What is happening?! Is this real? Is Caleb kissing me right now?! Am I dreaming?! Wake up, wake up! But hell, this feels so amazing. My eyes fluttered close when Caleb caressed my right cheeks gently as he kissed me. Oh my God! Caleb is giving me my first kiss! Wait, no, no! I can't! This is Caleb! Dara's, my bestie's 'lil bro..

I quickly pulled away and pushed Caleb away from me. Caleb looked to be in a daze. He blinked his eyes in a confused manner.

"Caleb, what are you doing?!" I demanded. Caleb sighed and looked nervous.

"I...I love you Charlie. Ever since I was 15. You're the only person who helped me all these years and you're the most beautiful and the most amazing girl I have ever met. I've been meaning to tell you for so long but I was scared you would not feel the same way. And these past week, I thought maybe you feel the same way?" Caleb said as he looked at me with those soulful green hazel eyes.

"Wait, how is that possible?! You're Dara's younger brother..Oh my God! I kissed Dara's younger brother! She's gonna kill me!" I said, a little hysterically as I got up from the grass. Caleb got up too and tried to hold my hand. I moved away from him.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help falling for you. Look, I'll deal with Dara-"Caleb started to say but I cut him off.

"Dara's going to kill me! And I'll lose her as a friend. I can't betray her by being with her younger brother. I don't want to lose her!" I tried to convince Caleb.

He stood there, looking at me. His eyes looked hurt.

"But you're okay with losing me?" Caleb said in the most depressing voice ever. I could almost hear his heart breaking. Oh God, this is not happening!

"I gotta go!" I turned around and quickly walked out of there. I heard Caleb calling my name and coming after me. I quickly hailed a taxi and got in before he could reach me. In the cab, I looked over my shoulder and saw Caleb standing forlornly after the retreating cab. I felt like a heel for doing that to him but what choice do I have?!

***********************************************************************************************I I couldn't sleep. I've been staring at the ceiling for like hours. Caleb kissed me. He seriously did. I did not see it coming at all. But him kissing me wasn't the worst thing. It's the fact that I really, really liked it and I want to do it again. I couldn't get out of my head how good he tasted and felt against my lips. My lips still tingled from that memory. Oh God I am done for! I pulled my duvet over my head and groaned. Whatever happens, Dara will not find out. Because it will never happen again. Not if I could help it. This is all my fault. I felt like I was leading him on, spending so much time with him and all that. But why me? Is Caleb blind or something? He can have any girl he wants and he chose me. What the hell is wrong with him?!

Caleb's POV

Now she hates me. Charlie hates me. Way to go Caleb! You scared her away. I groaned and felt a gut wrenching pain in my stomach when I remember her looking at me with such shock and horror. I died a little inside when she said no and broke my heart. Damnit, I should've just kept my mouth shut. Then, at least I could still be by her side. Even as her best friend's pesky brother, at least I could still see her. Now I've messed up everything by kissing her and telling her how I feel.

But it couldn't be wrong when it felt so right. She tasted wonderful and I just wanted to kiss her again and again. Oh God, this is bad. This is just what I need before the final meet next week. I couldn't wait until after swimming season. I just had to be greedy and do it now. I have to stop thinking about it and focus whole-heartedly on the final. Only on the final. And not Charlie's soft, plump, delicious juicy lips- stop it, stop it! I sat up and groaned. Okay, maybe she needs some time to think. Okay, I will give her time. As long as she needs.

With that thought in mind, I tried to sleep. My dreams were filled Charlie...

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Charlie's POV

Urgh, my head hurts. I looked at my notes and groaned. I haven't been sleeping well for a few nights. I've been having nightmares. The look on Caleb's face when the taxi drove me away. It was the most pathetic and gut-wrenching thing I've ever seen. It has been haunting me for days. Adding to the fact that I miss him like crazy. He did text me, asking me if I were okay, and asking me why I wasn't answering his calls. I couldn't reply because I know me. As hard as it was to admit it, I feel the same way about Caleb as he does about me. And it scared me. It's scary how complicated it would get. Dara, my parents...urgh, no, I prefer not to think about that.

I went on with my day as if nothing happened. I avoided Caleb's calls and texts like the plague. I have to stop this. I can't have feelings for Caleb. This will not bode well. It'll get so complicated and awkward beyond belief. And let's say Dara doesn't kill me after all for dating her brother. It's a totally different story if we broke up. Then things can get ugly, I'd lose Dara. Things would get beyond awkward. I groaned at the many, many things that can go wrong if by miracle Caleb and I get together. I'm the older one, I should take responsibility and tell Caleb that it's a no and this could never happen. because I love him too much and being with him will make me lose him. Oh, God. I doubt I'm making sense but I have no choice.

Just then I caught sight of Caleb riding his bike, his face could not be seen under the full face helmet. But I could tell it was him. Looking at him for afar still made me ache. Urgh, I am so weak...

"Um, excuse me? This yours?" A deep voice spoke beside me. A pair of chocolate brown eyes looked at me expectantly. I looked at him enquiringly until I saw my favourite pen in his hand. I quickly took it.

"Err, yeah. Thanx." I said awkwardly. The guy smiled. He had dark hair and dimples. Very cute. I thought I've seen him around before but I wasn't sure.

"I'm Jeff. What's your name?" He asked politely.

"Um, Charlie." I said hessitantly.

"Nice meeting you, Charlie." Jeff said with a smile.

Turns out Jeff was a TA and he's doing his graduate course at the same time. He was nice and very cute. Not as gorgeous as Caleb, but a looker nonetheless. Oh stop it! I gave myself a mental note to stop comparing Caleb to every guy I meet. I'm nothing special myself.

Just then, it was 10 minutes before my next lecture. I quickly pack my things and got up from the bench.

"Um, it was nice meeting you Jeff. I have a lecture in 10 minutes. I'll see you around." I said as I started to leave.

"Charlie, wait. Can I have your number?"Jeff asked suddenly. I stared at him, surprised.

"Um, why?" I asked, stupidly. Jeff chuckled.

"So I could call you and maybe we could go out sometime." Jeff said as he smiled. Damnit, way to go Charlie! I laughed to cover my embarrassment and gave him my number.

As I was trying to keep awake, I remembered what happened at the quad just now. Jeff seemed nice. Who knows, he might help me get over Caleb. Even if he doesn't call me, at least it means I'm not that hopeless. I met somebody else.

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That night Jeff called. He asked me out to lunch the next day. He didn't waste any time, did he? I felt a little nervous. I've never been to an actual date. Seriously. I've been out with Caleb, but that doesn't count. I've known him all my life. I fret and worried about what to wear. I never had to worry before. I wanted to look nice, pretty and not how I usually look.

The lunch was cozy and nice. Jeff was a nice guy and he was very mature, compared to Caleb..sigh..there I go again. I have to stop comparing guys to Caleb. Jeff had been every where, which was impressive. I've never been out of the US. We had fun and Jeff asked me out again when he wanted to send me to my dorm. He asked me out to dinner on Saturday night. I agreed immediately, although I was amazed he liked me.

I was glad I actually went out with another guy other than Caleb. I glanced at my phone. 15 missed calls. Well, that's an improvement. It was 34 missed calls yesterday. And 20 unread messages. All from Caleb. I leaned back on my bed, putting my phone as far away as I could. I did not want to be tempted. Caleb is like a habit I need to break.

I went into my room and saw Lois was studying. She looked at me when I entered the room. I smiled at her and put my bag at my desk.

"Um, hey Charlie? Can I ask you something?" Lois asked suddenly.

"Sure, what about?" I asked casually as I took off my jacket and hung it at the back of my chair.

"Um, did something happen between you and Caleb? I mean, he stopped by a few hours ago. He asked how you were and stuff. He also asked if your phone's okay. Which was weird. Then he gave me this." Lois said as she handed me a folded note. I looked at it and took it.

"Thanx Lois," I said, mystified. She just smiled slightly and continued with studying.

I sat on my bed and opened the note. It wasn't very long

Hey Charlie, how you've been? I've been busy training for the final. I'm just writing to tell you I'm leaving for Portland this afternoon and be back here around dinner time tomorrow night. I really miss you Charlie. I wish I could see you, even for a few minutes. But it's okay. We're still friends, right? Anyway, wish me luck and I hope to see you when I get back. ~Caleb~

I folded the letter carefully and sighed. I took out my phone and started typing. I knew I was being unreasonable by shutting him out like that. I owe it to him to at least wish him luck for his competition tomorrow.

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Caleb's POV

I was staring out the window of the plane bound for Portland. Suddenly, my phone vibrated. I fished it out of my jacket, hoping that it would be a message from Charlie. It was. I grinned without realizing it.

Hi Caleb. Thanks for the message. Yeah, we're still friends. How could we not. Anyway, just wanted to wish you all the best in your competition. I hope you win! ~Charlie~

The note was brief but it was enough to make me happy. Even Darius' horrible snoring didn't wipe the smile off my face. So, everything would be alright. I just think Charlie needs time. I would not let my one mistake ruin what Charlie and I have. I will be the guy friend that she wants and needs. For now, that's enough for me. I lay back in my seat and closed my eyes.

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I fumbled with my phone. My face, stinging. I could feel it swelling up. A sob escaped my lips and I jammed my hand against my mouth hard to muffle it. I could hear him. It was all I could do to not run out of my hiding place. Suddenly, all I could think of was Caleb. He's the only one who could rescue me. I had to get him on the phone. But there was no service. When I could hear him came nearer, I stiffened and felt my heart about to burst. I prayed silently he would walk past me as I felt him coming closer and closer.....