Chapter 4 : For Me and the Baby

*Trinity's POV*

I walked into the house, exhausted after finishing my first week at my new job. However, I was still fired up about how Mr. Withers treated me all week and knew that the best thing for me to do would be to talk to my sisters.

They always calmed me down.

I threw my purse on the kitchen chair and walked into the kitchen to make myself a PB&J. Ever since Nate died, I never seemed to have the energy to cook much. So it was either takeout or no cooking involved dinners for me.

The baby kicked in my belly, and I felt a little guilty, so I grabbed some fruit out of the fridge as well; all about balance in my pregnancy.

I took a bite of my sandwich as I opened up my video chat, setting up a call between me and both of my sisters.

Lynn answered first. As a college student, she didn't have too many other responsibilities tying her down and was always good for a quick chat. The phone blooped as Arielle finally connected as well, pulling up the videos of both girls on my screen.

"Hey, sisters!" Lynn exclaimed excitedly. "I'm so glad you called! I feel like we haven't talked in forever! How are y'all doing?"

"We just talked last week," Arielle laughed at Lynn and I could see that she was cooking dinner as well. "I know you are probably getting homesick from being gone to college, but don't be going crazy on me."

"Hey now, I just love me some sister time," Lynn laughed. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"Aw, thanks, guys. You are already making me feel better," I stated, letting out a small smile.

"Woah, we've got a smile alert, Ari! Did you see that?" Lynn's eye got super close to the camera. "That is an actual Trinity smile. I almost forgot what it looked like."

"What do you mean ‘making you feel better’?" Arielle asked, picking up on that tidbit while activating her motherly worry. "Is it the job? Is it not going well?"

"Well…" I began. "It's not really the job that's awful, it's the boss. He's just starting to drive me crazy."

"Wait, isn't your boss Matthew Withers?" Lynn asked, and I knew that Arielle must have told her about the job that I took. "I looked him up. That guy is like super hot! Why don't you like him?"

"It's not his looks that I have a problem with," I replied, rolling my eyes. "Though I think he would be much better looking if he smiled and was nice. He's just cold and doesn't seem to care about anyone but himself. He’s been riding me about the littlest things all week."

"Mm, I'd like to ride on him."

"Lynn!" Arielle exclaimed.

"Just saying!" Lynn laughed and put her hands up in a defensive gesture.

"You're awful," Arielle scolded but then got distracted by one of my nephews in the background. "Please turn that down, Cole. Mommy is on the phone." She sighed and then turned her attention back to us. “Sorry.”

"It's alright, I understand," I noted, rubbing my hand over my stomach.

Arielle fixed her position on the couch. "So, what exactly has this boss been doing?" she asked.

"Oh, you know, just yelling at me about everything," I told them. "Like for being late with his breakfast, scheduling lunch with his parents, and not interrupting him during meetings. Today I got in trouble for grabbing a diet instead of regular soda."

"Wow. I take back everything I just said about him. He sounds like a prick," Lynn answered as she flopped down onto her bed. "You should just quit. That sounds miserable."

I rolled my eyes. I never held back when I was around my sisters.

"What's that for?" Lynn asked with a laugh. I always appreciated that she was so easygoing and never seemed to get upset by anything. Must be the youngest child syndrome.

"She can't just quit her job, Lynn," Arielle said for me, then stopped to yell at a kid again. She looked a little frazzled as she turned her attention back to us, but as a true mom, she was great at multitasking. "You forget that not all of us still live at home and don't have any expenses. Not to mention the fact that she has a baby on the way as well."

"Sorry for trying to give some sisterly advice," Lynn shrugged with a sarcastic tone. But then it was gone as quickly as it appeared. "Then I would still recommend keeping your options open so that way, if you get another offer, you can up and leave. That would be doable, right?"

"Right," I agreed with a nod. "And I am keeping my options open. If this week indicates what the rest of the job will entail, then I’m not sure how long I’ll last. I don't know if I can keep my thoughts to myself for much longer."

"Maybe you'll get lucky and they will just transfer you to somebody else, or a different department because you like the job itself, right?" Arielle asked.

"Yes, well, I like working for the music company anyway," I replied slowly. "It almost seems like the perfect combination of business and creativity to work at a record label. And I feel like there is extreme room for growth. I just despise Mr. Withers. Too bad that he owns the record label, so sadly, I don't think that'll change any time soon."

"Then perhaps you could just focus on the company side of it and not focus on Mr. Withers," Lynn suggested.

Arielle and I stood in silence for a moment, and I could hear the kids and toys in the background of Arielle's call. She was the one to finally break the news to Lynn.

"Um, Lynn, she's Mr. Withers' personal assistant. She can't really not work with him," Arielle explained, and Lynn burst out into laughter.

"Shit, my bad,” she replied through chuckles. “I knew that—just exams are really fogging up my brain. I can’t really afford to remember anything else.”

I sighed. If only exams were the height of my problems.

"Let me think for a minute guys," Arielle asked, pondering my problem.

"Is that Aunt Trinity and Aunt Lynn?" I heard little Cole's voice from off-camera. "I want to say hi. HI AUNTIES!"

"Hi, Cole," I said with a smile.

"Hey, buddy!" Lynn called out as well. "What are you guys up to? I miss you!"

"Miss you too! When are you guys coming over again?" Cole asked as the top of his face appeared on the phone camera.

"Family dinner is Sunday; I'm sure we will see you then," I told him with a forced smile. "Does that sound good?"

"Yeah, I guess. Okay, bye!"

As fast as he appeared, Cole took off again, unable to focus on the phone any longer.

"Annnd he's gone," Lynn said with a laugh. "Lasted longer than last time, at least."

"Short attention span, for sure," I nodded. "Not as bad as Max, though."

"Oh, so true!" Lynn agreed. "Emma is the only normal one, for sure."

"The kids can hear you, ya know," Arielle laughed.

"Hey, we didn't say they were our favorites; just pointing out the obvious here." Lynn chuckled again. "I personally like the ones with a little more flare."

"I'm so excited for Trinity's baby, so that way, we can see if the craziness runs in the family," Arielle said with a laugh.

I heard myself giggle as well, and both girls smiled even bigger. However, I felt my smile falter, if only slightly. Whenever I let myself get too happy, the feelings of grief and guilt always seemed to hit me harder.

"How are you feeling, Trinity?" Arielle asked, seemingly noticing my shift in attitude.

"The baby’s been kicking like crazy all week. I think they are also feeling the stress of the new job." I placed my hand on my belly.

"I can't believe that you still haven’t found out the sex of the baby," Lynn said with a roll of her eyes. "So not fun."

In all honesty, dealing with grief while pregnant was the hardest thing I had ever gone through in my 27 years alive, and the idea of the excitement of finding out the sex or throwing a party was too overwhelming for me to bear.

So, I never found out the sex, and at this point, it seemed like it would just be easier to be surprised at the hospital.

But that wasn't what I had told everyone else. It made me feel like a bad person or a bad mom, not to be excited for the baby growing inside of me. The only person I could talk about the real issues with was Arielle, mostly because I knew she would better understand, having three kids of her own.

I loved Lynn, but she was just at a completely different stage in her life.

"She doesn't have to find out the sex if she doesn't want, Lynn, and remember how we agreed not to pressure her ?”Arielle pressed, taking the heat off of me. "When is your next appointment anyway? Now that you are getting further along, you have them every two weeks, right?"

"Yep, and everything’s looking good," I said, grateful for Arielle. "Still just trucking along. They might even do another ultrasound at this appointment, which is sometime next week. I'll have to look at my calendar to remember when."

"Ooh, send me a picture if they do!" Lynn exclaimed excitedly. "I want to see my little nibling."

"Nibling?" I asked in horror. What an awful nickname for my unborn child.

"Yeah, it's the combination of niece and nephew," Lynn said, sounding proud of herself that she knew something that I didn't.

"There is no way that ‘nibling’ is a real word." Arielle looked just as disgusted as me.

"It totally is," Lynn said, looking offended that we would even be doubting her. "Look it up!"

I was one step ahead of her, surprised to find out she was right."Holy shit, it is," I gasped. "That's just not okay.”

Both girls began to laugh, and it took a few minutes before they had composed themselves enough to continue our conversation. And when we did, Arielle switched back into more serious business.

"I've had some time to think about it, and I think I have come up with some advice for you, Trinity," she said. She focused more on the call and tried to ignore the screaming kids in the background.

"I'm ready for it."

I wasn't really sure if I was.

"I say just give this job some time, at least until after the pregnancy. This is already stressful enough on you, so I don't want even to consider if you had to leave this job and switch to another new one. It could harm your and the baby's health, and I think it's too risky."

She paused, then continued.

"And as for dealing with your asshole of a boss, prove to him that you deserve to be there and you can do the job," she stated simply. "I know you and how much you love to prove yourself. But that also means knowing when to stand up for yourself. When he begins to talk down to you, just talk back at him in your perfect professional language. Explain to him how his tone and attitude are unnecessary and that you would appreciate a more positive and constructive work environment."

I imagined telling that to Mr. Withers and couldn't help but shake my head. "That will never work."

"You would be impressed how those cold professional business types respond to a stiff hand. They will take as much space as you can give them, so just don't give it to him."

She shrugged again, and I knew she was trying her hardest to think of any advice that might help, ad I appreciated her for that.

"And if that doesn't work, you could always sleep with him," Lynn said with a shrug, but I could tell she was trying her hardest to get me to laugh.

And I appreciated HER for that.

"Oh my god, Lynn!" Arielle exclaimed, but she couldn't help but laugh as well at the outrageous idea.

"I'll keep that in mind," I told her with a wink.

In my head, I thought there was no fucking way, though.

"Well, ladies, I've got dinner done, so I've gotta go and feed my wild animals now," Arielle huffed. "Talk to you later?"

"Yeah, I should get started on some studying as well." Lynn smiled, and I noticed she was doing her makeup in the bathroom, probably getting ready to go out on a college Friday night.

"Mmhmm, sure," I laughed. "Please be safe, Lynn, and I'll talk to you girls tomorrow, I'm sure, if not at family dinner on Sunday."

"Sounds good to me; love you guys!" Lynn blew kisses to the phone.

"Love you!" Arielle and I yelled back in unison, and then the phone clicked, and my kitchen was silent.

Now that was the perfect way to end such a shitty week. I thought about what they had said. Fear and concern were obviously at the forefront of my mind, but more than that, I felt a new surge of reassurance. Like I was capable of whatever was to come next.

It was foreign to me after all this time, but it was very much welcomed.

They were right. I could do this. I could stick it out longer. I needed to. For myself, and my baby.