The Worst Day

I wearily wake up to a white ceiling. I feel like…

"BLARGH!!!"

…Nauseous.

It's strenuous to move my head which feels like it's made of lead. This room in which I am alone is bare like a bone. The blinking, buzzing lights make my eyes go…

My delirium pauses for a second as the logical part of my head seizes control. "Shit, I'm in a hospital," I wheeze, covered in vomit, and my mouth still tastes of the stuff.

I'm in a room all to myself, actually. One wall made of glass, looking out into the rest of the hospital floor, or what I can see of it anyway. It's about 2 meters to the drywall opposite of me.

I feel…tired.

———————————————————————————————————————

I wake up…again. This time feeling much better. My head is clearer than before. It also appears that I'll have to apologize to one of the nurses as my gown has been changed and I no longer reek of vomit.

I hear a pen click and crane my head to the left. There's a man here, looks like a doctor. In fact, he looks remarkably similar to Professor Sycamore. Though he's older, fatter, and greyer. Maybe like Professor Sycamore's father or grandfather.

He sniffs. "Wonderful. You're awake," he says with a soft smile. "I know a lot of things must be going through your head right now. I'm Dr. Buttonwood, and you're currently in the hospital."

"I can only guess what for," I drily remark, moving my hand to rub my eye… My left hand… My arm… It's a… Where's my left hand?

Dr. Buttonwood sighs. "I guess I'll start with that." He pauses, swallowing. Now is not the time to pause, sir! I need answers!

I guess he can read my expression because he quickly continues. "You were caught, point-blank might I add, in an explosion with a robot powered by a…relatively weak power source. You escaped mostly unscathed..." I wave my burned stump in the air. "Yes… The injuries you did sustain, however, were quite severe in nature."

He scoots up to me on a rolling stool. "A large piece of shrapnel completely severed your left hand, but the explosion cauterized the blood vessels. You had a…set of robotic limbs attached as well…" Upon mentioning those, I instinctively reach out, strangely finding them.

They didn't remove them?

I lift an arm, finding it come out from under my bed.

"Yes. That," he says with some minor vitriol in his voice. "The metal appears to have fused with your spine. It looks like there aren't any issues, but every time we tried to remove them… They attacked."

I wince. "Sorry, it's a defense mechanism for when I pass out." My eyes drift back to my hand. It almost feels like it's still there. But it isn't.

"Okay, now let's see." He begins flipping through some pages he had, murmuring to himself. "A few burns, but those healed nicely. Some concussive…"

"Ah! Right. The radiation. Believe it or not, you…probably won't be dying of radiation poisoning today." He gives me a wide smile, but I kind of just give a strained one back.

"Doctor, I don't like the way you phrased that…"

He looks left, then right, like there's a secret that he really wants to tell me, but he won't. Then he sighs. "You…weren't exposed to lethal amounts of radiation. The power source of the robot was plenty depleted already. It was enough that we still want you to come in for testing every month, but…"

I sigh. "Please…just give it to me."

He grimaces, shaking his head. "I always hate this part," he whispers, then looks up at me. "The…radioactive material struck you in the stomach. Nothing got lodged in you, but some…sensitive parts got exposed to more radiation than is preferable. It's… It's called early menopause. The radiation has killed all of your eggs, and you will, unfortunately, never be able to have children. I'm sorry."

He continues talking on, but I don't pay attention, leaving it to my own recognizance for parsing later.

I knew that children weren't going to be an option for me. It comes with liking biological females when you are a biological female. Adoption would also be a rocky road because I personally, if I were to have children, would prefer them to be of my flesh and blood.

Does my mom know? She likely doesn't. Trainers, especially since they're 18, are treated as individuals. They also aren't likely to have my information on file. Unless whoever brought me in…

Dr. Buttonwood has gone silent, looking solemnly at the ground. He's likely noticed that I stopped responding and is giving me some…personal space.

"Who brought me in?" I weakly ask, my voice faltering on the edge of tears.

"Three trainers and a sister to one. The two boys and the girl left, but the female trainer is still here. She's been wanting to see you."

"Can you let her in?"

"Of course."

———————————————————————————————————————

Serena is led into the room with a distressed, morphing into relieved, expression on her face. Dr. Buttonwood closes the sliding glass door behind her, giving us some privacy.

"Hey," I wave with my left arm. Using the rest of the Octillery Arms, I pull up a chair for her and arrange a glass of water. "How are you?"

She gives me a soft chuckle before hugging me. I… She's never done this before. "We thought you almost died."

I shrug. "It looks like I'm made of stronger stuff, apparently. Or it's the giant metal claws." That one gets a full chuckle out of her. Progress. "How much do you know?"

"Other than the arm missing, nothing." Right. Doctor-patient confidentiality.

"Well, the Octillery Arms—these"—I wave around a few of them— "are permanently fused to my spine now. Which is great. I guess. Not many other injuries except…one."

She doesn't reply, instead just taking my right hand between hers. Her hands are soft…really soft for someone who regularly camps in the woods.

I take a deep breath. "I won't be able to have children. I mean, it wasn't really an option for me, but I'm more irked at the option being taken away from me…forcefully."

Her hands grow tighter around mine. She doesn't even look at me. Haaaah… I guess now is as good a time as ever. "Serena, I like you." I can't believe I just said that. Oh well, let's keep this train rolling. "I meant what I said about you being beautiful, but I wasn't sure if you would ever reciprocate my feelings. I don't even understand them myself because sometimes I feel like I'm lusting after every beautiful girl I meet, and I don't want to feed any stereotypes, and I think I'm making this worse, huh?"

I pause, take a deep breath. She's somewhere in between shocked and exasperated smile. I can work with this. "I can tell that you have something for Ash, whether it be a complex or something else, I don't know. I didn't want to get in the way of whatever it was, but this has been boiling up inside me for a really long time now, and… and…"

I stop. There's nothing now. I don't feel tired. I don't feel happy. I feel…

Nothing.

Then…she kisses me. Not on the lips, but on the cheek!

"I…didn't know you felt that way about…me," she shyly starts. "I-I don't know what exactly I'm feeling either. I have…feelings for Ash, but when I'm around you, it… I don't know. It feels like I'm more free than I am. More free to make decisions than letting the world control me. I went on a journey at first to be with Ash, then I wanted to find my place in the world, but when you're nearby, I feel like I can do those things. However, I'm not accepting your confession"—my heart sinks— "Not right now, anyway."

My heart lifts…sort of?

"We're staying in town until we're sure you can go venture on your own. I…will go back to adventuring with Ash. We'll work our way to Shalour City, then back to Lumiose. Your…confession. It's given me the courage to work through my feelings. If you're still in Lumiose by the time we get there, then we can figure out where we stand then. Okay?"

I rapidly nod. Fuck yeah! That's a better outcome than I was expecting! She even ignored that part about me lusting after other women, or we'll probably just explore that later. Probably later. It's been an emotionally draining day.

I stifle a yawn. Really just draining in all senses.

She giggles. "I think I'll let you sleep now. I'll come back later."

"Ookay," I yawn.

Today has been a day of mixed emotions.