16

O(I)O(I)

If someone told Pief that today would be the day Clive and his guildmates would storm up to her desk, looking haggard and exhausted, and asked if they could cancel the mission they were going back and forth into for the past few years...she would tell them:

"Clive? That arrogant, self-absorbed, narcissistic adventurer whose only tried one mission in his life calling it quits? C'mon, he would never do that..."

But wrong she was as he handed in the form, cried and trembled while trying to look her in the eyes, and his body wafted of something that has been dead for what smelled like eons.

"I've decided to not only give up on this mission, but to also give up on being an adventurer. The time I've spent here has been fun but I'm just not right for it. Please forgive me, don't forget about me, and have a nice life."

Before she could say anything that would evaluate his state of mind, maybe even give them both some closure to the sexual harassment he's done over the years, he darted outta there as fast as if he were a bullet shot from a derringer—his acolytes/party members standing around murmuring to themselves before exiting the door.

'That was weird.' Pief thought.

Since work was piling up today she decided to just forget about it. She worked away signing, sorting, using a calculus for assessments, and blowing the whistle for all the other workers to take their break. After hours of this she was finally approached by an adventurer she knew so little, Baragon, who had his tiny arms on the haft of his axe lurking up like he was going to swing it at her, but really he just wanted to ask her one question:

"Is there any new missions for me to take? Maybe one where I have to travel far to fight a boss whose been damaging livestock or nestling in caves that should be demolished?"

She blinked feeling confused and uncertain what he meant by that until she felt a spark travel up her as an idea came to her.

"We do have this new mission. Please read before signing up for it."

She handed him the mission Clive couldn't finish. While Baragon was reading in his head what it entailed she reached into a tin on the bottom shelf behind a stack of paper in her desk and took a bite of a chocolate snowflake looking cookie with a gummie embedded inside—Baragon gave her his decision before she could finish.

"I'll take it!"

Without asking if he was absolutely sure, she signed the paper with a magically laced pen, the metallic head of it looked like a fountain pen but used gel ink inside seen through the transparent middle and blue leather wrapped around it. The magic was the ink disappeared after a week or if the person wanted to cancel it would disappear immediately. She rolled it up, used a red ribbon to keep it scrolled up, and handed it to Baragon.

"Good luck and try not to be too careless."

Bargon nodded his head agreeably before turning around and skipping out the door. That was slightly fun for her. Now she was back to sorting through papers, boxes with papers, and trying to unhook a small piece of paper tied to a messenger owl, who just happened to be delivering packages in the morning.

In the early evening right when she was about to take her last break before her last shift...a green priest walced into the guild powerwalking to her front desk. It wasn't just any green priest. It was the same priest who travelled with Clive.

'Is he here to accept the mission alone?' She wondered. 'I already gave that mission away. How do I tell him he's too late?'

Much to her surprise he approached her with three sheets. She leaned in, skimmed through the papers, and was surprised to see they were the same papers she gave the bald adventurer—forms too unchallenging for someone in the green priests' rank.

"Can you please sign me up for all three of these?"

She waited for a punchline. She was sure this was some kind of joke, but as she signed his name for the jobs he thanked her for her signature and fled the guild like a shadow-fox.

The next hour went by very tediously.

She used hot water and some exotic orange leaves to brew a herbal tea for her coworkers who toiled endlessly at their desks; or at least the ones she actually liked.

After serving tea to a dozen she went in the employee supply room where a mountain of forms were waiting for her, and they were organized from hard class to low class based on the small substance embedded in the C's, but also from the size of the C's.

She walked out with a a pile an easy twelve feet in height which she carried to the board to let every adventurer know what jobs they had.

The order in which she pinned them: tough jobs on the left side—the hard jobs on the right—and any adventurer with half a brain would read them. Ergo, she made sure there were more on the right then on the left.

After placing them on the board she returned to her desk and then back to the storage room and walked out with a pile of papers only three feet in length, and every piece of paper was placed on her wooden counter.

'I don't usually do it this much in such a short time, but if I need a few minutes break afterwards...I'm sure they'll forgive me.'

She held out both her hands, rubbed them together causing a little friction in her hands, then began reciting a spell only she could listen to:

"Inanimate Object Duplication!"

A purple light encoated the files. They burned brightly for what was a fair amount of minutes but not once did anyone else in the guild stop to have a look at the magic radiating so brightly. When the light ceased shining, before Pief stood numerous amounts of paper stacked from three to over two dozen in the exact same spots she placed her previous paper.

No sooner did she take that well deserved three minute break huddling inside the staff room and sitting on a stool before standing back up and feeling sweaty but not burned out, the bald adventurer walked in.

He was hulling a large sack over his right shoulder and had a sheen of sweat on his forehead, but his fingers didn't seem dirty or wet.

'Could be he washed them off after digging through the dirt or he just bought the materials.' Pief thought, a part of her believed there was another way he got those items...'No, he couldn't have threatened an adventurer team four times his rank to get them for him.'

He placed his bag on her desk; the doors swung open as an erratic green priest—Clive's priest—made his way inside carrying all the items in bent hands.

He lined up behind the bald adventurer.

'I probably should have handed this stuff in and then made him take those quests...but even if she gets coy with me what is she going to say?' Saitama thought.

Pief opened the bag, smelled like soap and raw meat commingled together, and saw all three items clustered together. Since the green priest had the same items she twiddled her fingers urging him to hand over his bag too, and when he did she let him pour them all in the same bag.

There were holes from the sharp ends and it started to bulge from being overloaded, but

Pief carried it with ease to the storage room, dumped all its continents, and re-stitched it by putting it in a large purple bag with yellow rope, shaking it, then dropping a newly refurbished bag for him.

She handed Saitama and the green priest their reward when Baragon walked in carrying two very large fangs.

"No..." She was in awe, a little unsure if she could believe it.

When Baragon put the fangs on her desk she immediately grabbed them and ran up the stairs to Mr. Lanshee's office.

"Mr. Lanshee! MR. LANSHEE!"

Before she barged in and faced scrutiny for her reckless behavior, she stopped as if someone cast an ice/time spell on her. She just stood on one leg with her other leg raised back thinking about what she was going to say:

"Mr. Lanshee, it's finally over!"

"Mr. Lanshee, you won't believe this...someone has finally accomplished a mission that's been left open for years!"

" Mr. Lanshee...I need your monocle to look at these fangs!"

She was finished thinking about it, recomposed herself, and walked one little step at a time hoping not to fall or get jabbed by the venomous fangs.

At last she reached the door and knocked three times.

"Mr. Lanshee, you—"

"Is that you Pief?"

"Umm...it is. Can you—"

"I have an important message addressed to you which is strange because I didn't know bosses received such messages. AHEM! 'Hey there sis, still working in an office filing adventures your not brave enough to finish yourself? Well good news, I'll be visiting you very soon, love Lenisa'. Now, what is it you came all the way up here for?"

Pief staggered, her head was feeling a little dizzy.

"Just...fangs. Fangs I need you to look at. I'll leave them on your door."

She pinned the fangs on the door then used a silk weaving spell to keep them on his door. On her way down she removed her shoes and carried them with her hands. She was often told not to run without shoes on or it would hurt her knees as a kid and in a building not wearing shoes was taboo, but it was better for her sister to ridicule her bare feet instead of seeing what kind of shoes they made her wear.

By the time she made it back to the desk she didn't feel like leaving the building today.

Baragon and the bald adventurer whose name she keeps forgetting were still there—maybe when he finishes three more passive jobs she would have a better inkling of who he was, she certainly remembered his strength.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Lanshee is going to need some time to authenticate those fangs you brought in. Please come back tomorrow and, I mean if they are real, we'll pay you the reward for being stalwart to this guild plus a little extra. As for you, stranger...what are you even still doing here?"

Without even a reaction to her slightly rude comment, Saitama and Baragon had left...together.

'When did he and Baragon get to be so close?' she wondered. 'They maybe ran into each other on an adventure, but Baragon does monster hunting jobs while he's still doing newbie jobs. Maybe that guy didn't listen to me and took a job fighting monsters?'

In the end, she had a landslide of paperwork to do and she wanted to finish it before only slivers of sunlight beamed through the clouds, however, that soon became an afterthought when she noticed all the men at their keyboards stopped.

It was quiet...almost like how her room used to be when she lived with her parents, quiet and peaceful with the sound of birds cooing to remind her even little animals were full of life.

And then—she looked up to see a buxom lavender haired bar wench with knights parading around with her. Most of her coworkers were standing up now with their hands over their hearts. They were in love/lust at the sight beheld by her, the fragrance of just her hair an aphrodisiacal to them, her face as clean as a bird after preening itself, and the way she walked...more elegant than even a queens' strut.

But she wasn't there to talk to any of them...she made her way up to the desk Pief was standing behind. She leaned in, elbow on the desk, all the men looking at the back of the dress accentuating her buttocks, and then...she talked to her invitingly.

"Hey sis, I have a small favor I need from you. Want to talk about it more over come cake and tea?"