9. Nine: Monday

Nine

He wakes and reaches for her, blindly, his eyes still closed against the too-early light, face mashed into the pillow; but her side of the bed is deserted, must have been for a while if the coolness of the sheets is any indication.

Castle grunts, tries to shake himself, to resist the entrancing murmur of sleep in his ear; it's a long, painful struggle until he manages to open his eyes, victorious but exhausted.

He swallows, licks his lips, dehydrated throat begging for water.

"Kate?" he croaks, pushing back the covers, a long shiver running through him when the air hits his bare skin.

He grabs a pair of boxers, a t-shirt, nearly breaks his neck as he stumbles into his underwear. He catches himself with a hand against the wardrobe, heart pounding, a nervous laugh bubbling in his chest. Well, he's awake now.

"Castle?"

Kate pushes the door to his bedroom open and slides inside, the look on her face somewhere between concerned and scolding; he grins at her like a fool.

"What you doing?" she whispers.

"Looking for you," he answers eagerly, taking the last remaining steps so he can wind an arm around her waist, draw her against him. She resists a little, but in the end she comes, lets out a puff of air against his neck.

"Is it necessary for you to wake the whole building?" she asks dryly. He smiles, can't help it, because even when she pretends to be mad he can hear the tenderness shining through. It's exhilarating, too good. A drug.

He presses a kiss to her temple, her cheekbone. "That was an accident," he admits. "But you know, I could have died, Beckett. I could have tripped over my own feet and hit my head against a corner and bled to death. And where were you, uh? Nowhere to be found-"

Her lips cut him off, warm and smiling, coffee-flavored - how long has she been up? He slides a look to the alarm clock, can't help the whine that vibrates in his throat.

"What?" she asks, so soft, all beautiful dark eyes and tender mouth.

He almost forgets about his complaint. Almost.

"Seven am, Beckett? Really? Look, I know it's hard to break bad habits, but as long as you're part of the Castle household-" A shadow crosses her face and he shuts his mouth immediately, hates himself, but he's only half-awake and he hasn't had coffee and it's seven in the morning for goodness's sake-

"It's just." She glances away with that look in her eyes, the look where she regrets she even said anything, but now he's seen it and he nudges her gently, his fingers wrapping around her wrist and stroking the so-soft skin, his mouth pleading with hers.

"What, Kate? What is it?"

She bites her bottom lip, closes her eyes briefly.

"It's Monday, Castle," she says quietly, and she sounds desolate and so very young, too.

Oh. Monday.

"And you...You wanna go to work." It's not really a question, more of a prodding statement, because he knows her. This is what he's been afraid of. The Kate Beckett he met four years ago, the Kate Beckett who depended on the badge and the gun and the job.

It was only a matter of time, wasn't it?

She chews on her lip, pushes her hair back, looking uncertain. "Not - no?" He must give her a disbelieving face, because she sighs in frustration, brings both her hands up against his chest. "I - maybe? I don't know, Castle."

She seems so disappointed. "I don't know," she repeats, and then she lifts confused, fearful, angry eyes to him. "Castle. What am I going to do?"

He can tell the anger isn't directed at him, though, and that eases something in his chest, sparks the will to fight in his heart. He can do this. They can do this. She doesn't need the 12th. She will need a job at some point, yes, because it's who she is, but there's no hurry.

"You can do anything, Kate," he says reassuringly, running his hand up and down her arm. "Anything. And yes, maybe it's scary - maybe sometimes you'll want to go back to the 12th, just because it's safe, just because it's a world you know - but remember what you told me, love. You've outgrown the badge."

She nods slowly. "What if-" she swallows, hesitates. "What if I want to go back anyway? Because I like it?"

Seriously? Is she asking if he's okay with her being a cop, when it's the reason he started shadowing her in the first place?

"Then you'll go back. But on your own terms, and because you want to. Okay? Not because it's the easy way out."

Determination darkens her eyes as she takes his words in, accepts them, so strong, so beautiful. God, she's amazing.

"Okay," she says, and just like that, she's his Kate again, smiling, and warm, and sure. He's breathless. "Thank you," she adds softly.

"Anytime," he promises, amazed, in love, absolutely done in by the look on her face. He leans in and takes her mouth, slowly, his tongue stroking its way inside, letting the heat gather between them. "Come back to bed, Kate," he murmurs.

Her hand curls on his abdomen, slides into his boxers.

"Yes," she breathes.

She realizes after a moment that she doesn't know where Castle disappeared to. They had lunch together with Alexis and the girl started asking Kate questions about her experience of college, what to expect, the things she was most disappointed in; they've been talking about it for at least half an hour.

Kate responds well to precise questions. Talking about herself doesn't come naturally, but when someone asks her something specific? If the question is interesting, it can go on for hours.

"Oh wow, is it two already?" Alexis says, glancing at her watch while Kate casts a look around, trying to guess what her partner is up to. "I should run - I told Shelby I'd meet her for coffee."

She jumps to her feet, wavers for a split second, then comes around the table to give Kate an awkward, but hearty hug. "Thanks for all the information, Kate. It's really good to talk to someone who's actually been through all this."

"Your dad's been to college," Beckett remarks, partly to escape the slight discomfort of Alexis's thanks.

The young woman rolls her eyes, huffs a laugh. "He says he doesn't remember anything, that he was too drunk. And he didn't finish his degree, you know."

The detective smirks - oh, she knows, and that answer sounds like Castle alright.

"Anyway," Alexis says. "I really gotta go. But I'll see you later?"

Kate opens her mouth, nods, can't quite get over how natural, how easy Castle's daughter makes it sound. Kate will be here. Later. And Alexis is okay with it.

It takes a few seconds to shake the stunned gratitude, blink away the stupid, humbling - lovely - acceptance.

And then she decides to hunt Castle down.

He lifts his eyes from the screen when she comes into his study; Kate looks dark and feral, all smooth, feline moves, and entirely too disappointed to find him here.

She looks like maybe she wanted to surprise him in bed and make him plead, oh, make him beg for it with her slow, evil tongue-

Okay, enough of that, Rick.

"What are you doing?" she asks, suspicion in the line of her mouth. How can she even know-

"Nothing," he says quickly, minimizing the window as she comes over to him. He's not too sure what her reaction will be.

Of course, she isn't fooled. She arches an eyebrow as if to say, don't you know better? and she slowly, purposefully bends over his shoulder, slides her hand to his mouse and clicks on the window. He doesn't dare move, holds his breath while she scrolls over the page.

Belize vacations, tours and resorts. The complete guide for planning a Belize vacation.

He tries not to squirm.

Kate looks back at him, not angry, not upset, just...calculating. And maybe tender? Or maybe he's imagining it. "What's this, Castle?"

"I, uh. I thought it might be nice for us to go somewhere? To - get you out of the city for a while." The moment the words are out of his mouth he wants to thump his head, take them back, because it's too obvious, she'll understand-

Something like a smile twists the corner of her mouth. "To Belize?"

He slumps in relief. "I was just...looking at our options."

She watches him, that smile still hovering, not quite there, and he adds hastily, "Of course I was going to tell you, Kate. Not - not gonna book plane tickets or anything without letting you know."

She looks openly amused now; it dances in her eyes, bright and beautiful. "Good," she says, and she turns his chair so she's facing him, leans in to brush their mouths together.

His hand comes up, caresses her cheek, hooks around her neck to keep her there, with him, forever.

"What about Alexis?" she whispers, and she's so close, her smell subtle and rich and absolutely divine; it takes him a long time to catch up on what she's saying.

"I - I don't know." He's ashamed to admit he hasn't thought that far ahead. He just - he didn't like the fragile, unsure version of Beckett he saw this morning, and he thinks maybe, maybe, it would be easier for her in a different setting, if she didn't have to get up in the same city where she nearly died.

And not just once.

She kisses him again, soft and slow, and his hands find her waist, drag her to him, until she's sitting in his lap, her cheek resting against his.

"It's sweet, Castle," she tells him. "Very sweet. And - I'm not saying no? I'm just saying later. Keep it for when Alexis is at Columbia, doing this summer program thing, okay? I'm not taking you away from your daughter now."

He sighs, his heart heavy, because he hears what she's saying and yes, yes, he knows she's right. He doesn't want to leave Alexis. But he wants Kate to be alright-

"I'm fine," she murmurs against his jaw, like she can read his mind. "I promise. Rick, It's going to be summer soon, and hot, and New York will be empty then. Just you and me."

"Just you and me," he echoes, savoring the sound of it, the lovely taste on his tongue.

It's a date, then.