16. Sixteen: Monday

Sixteen

Castle takes Alexis to Urban Outfitters for dorm stuff; this is entirely her idea, of course. He's got no idea what a college co-ed wants in her room, but she's got it mapped out, department by department. He's trying hard not to feel like a walking credit card.

Kate is at Dr Burke's. Castle is trying not to think about that, using his daughter for distraction. Alexis hooks her arm through his as they step across the parquet floor, dragging him forwards to the bedroom ensembles. He thinks she knows he's trying not to worry about Kate, thinks his daughter is doing this on purpose - entertaining him, keeping up a steady stream of chatter.

He appreciates it.

"Dad, oh, look. I love this." She releases him to run her fingers over a white comforter with huge black zig zags going across it.

"Reminds me of Charlie Brown's shirt."

She wrinkles her nose at him and shoves him away.

"I need a comforter, sheets, curtains - I mean, the dorms have twin beds, so all the stuff for my bed at home won't work-"

"Alexis, you can get whatever you want," he says on a laugh. "Anything. Sky's the limit."

She gives him a look and then tugs the plastic bag containing the black zig zag from the shelf. "Here you go then." She surveys the rest of the store with pleased eyes, her hair aflame and making her look like a Viking conqueror. Were there Viking women?

"Dad?"

He realizes he's staring at her. His little girl turned college-woman-conqueror. "Yeah?"

"Let's spend your money."

She might as well be saying, Let's pillage.

Alexis collects posters from the rack, one after another, laughing at the one he picks out for her: Big Foot is Watching You. Hers say inspirational things like Open Your Eyes and See the Beauty. Nice, but not as fun as he'd choose.

She selects a wooden trash can with more zig-zags along the side, and he quickly realizes they are going to need help. Castle rounds up a store employee who takes stuff to the registers while Alexis still hunts for the perfect accessories.

Then there's the brilliant teal curtains, the mosaic owl candle holder, the New York City skyline rug in teal and black and white, a teal floor lamp, and then a dustless chalkboard with rainbow chalk (he is kinda excited about that one; he wants to sneak into her dorm room while she's away and leave her messages and codes and words of unwisdom).

"Hey, Dad. Reminds you of Kate, huh?"

Alexis is holding up a ceramic baby elephant with a long trunk; she's giving him a little smirk.

"What is that?"

"Oh. A ring holder, I think." She gestures to the table, and there are a host of little items with various pieces of jewelry dangling from them - tree limbs, ornate boxes, swan necks, ballerinas, wrought iron, and elephant trunks.

Wait. Did his daughter. . .

A. . .ring holder?

Alexis snags a piece of costume jewelry from the table in front of them, then slides the ring over the elephant's trunk.

His heart is pounding.

"See? Cute huh?" Alexis grins. "I saw all the elephants Kate brought from work. Looks like her."

"She - she likes elephants." Is he reading too much into this? Is she. . .telling him something? No, she's just - she's seen an elephant and Kate's got her parade of them on one of the shelves near the projector screen. The box of stuff she cleaned out from work is at her own place, but those elephants made it to his.

Alexis is only just smiling at him, an easy smile, setting the elephant on the table, giving it a little pat on the head. She doesn't seem to know what she just said.

What idea she's given him.

For later. Much later.

"Dad," she says suddenly, turning hesitant eyes to him. "We only have this summer, and then I'll be gone. But it helps - it kinda helps a little. To know Kate is here. Is she - do you think she'll stay? I don't want you to be alone and get your heart broken-"

Castle reaches out and tugs her into his arms, kissing the top of her head because he can't get the words out past the choked sensation. He swallows hard, hugs her tighter, and then clears his throat. "Alexis. Even if - whatever happens between me and Kate, I'll be fine. I'll miss you but - this is how life is supposed to go. The kid grows up and leaves the nest. You have to learn to fly, baby bird."

"Dad." She's rolling her eyes at him; he can tell. He can practically hear it.

"You know, Alexis - it feels like the end of your world. I remember thinking the same. But it's not. You can always come home. You know that, right?"

"I know," she says into his embrace, then tilts her head back, pinning him with her brilliant blue eyes. "Will Kate be - home?"

He does her the courtesy of not flinching away from that question. "Alexis. I - if you tell me you don't want Kate there, I-"

"No!" She clutches at him, shaking her head. "Not at all what I meant. I just - I guess I just want to know. One way or another. Because if I leave this fall and then she leaves you too, or you get in a fight and leave her, or - or whatever? I - I don't want that to - it will wreck things."

"Yeah, I'm not planning on that," he says dryly, hugging her tighter. "This is different. Don't you think? And Kate is trying. And with you too, she's trying. Isn't she?"

"She is," Alexis nods, drops her arms from around him to step back, fiddling with the edge of his shirt for a moment, like she used to do when she was little. She seems to recognize what she's doing and she stops, blushing. "She's trying a lot, Dad."

"Yeah," he says quietly, but he feels proud of her. Proud of them both. "She's - she called it putting in the work. And she's doing more than you might know-"

"She told me," Alexis says, then lifts her eyes to him, hesitantly yearning. "She's at her therapist's right now. She told me this morning before she left. That's - that's a big thing, isn't it? That she told me."

He nods, a little stunned. Kate didn't say anything at all about - it took her so long to tell him about her therapy in the first place, and he's surprised she let Alexis know.

His daughter takes another step back, her look growing confident. "So maybe this fall. When I'm at college? Since she'll be around, I'll ask Kate to help me keep you from dropping in on me unannounced."

Alexis gives him an impish smile, all clever and cute.

Rick laughs at her, watching her turn away from the jewelry and head back for bed sheets, proud of her, proud of Kate, able to see how this might all work out okay. On the display table, the little elephant stares at him with that happy, baby smile, all bright eyes and upraised trunk, as if encouraging him to take the chance.

If he gets a ring holder, it needs a ring.

She stretches, wincing as her shoulders twinge, pads through the living room with bare feet. When she gets back to the couch with her bowl, he's watching her, that delight permanently etched into his face, eyes wide, face transformed by that smile.

It was careful and cautious when she got back from Dr Burke's office at lunch, but she only gave him a smile back and changed the subject. She hasn't been able to unpack everything that happened yet, but she will tell him what she can, when she can.

The bowl is cold against her sternum, reminding her of what she has now.

"Hey," she says, nudging him with her knee to get him to move out of her spot. He doesn't though, just holds out his arms, so she sinks down, practically on top of him. He wraps an arm at her waist, thumb immediately sneaking under the waistband of her leggings, rubbing her skin.

"You missed the best part," he says, even as she leans back and digs her elbow down against his ribs to prop up the bowl.

"I don't think so," she says, smirking at him. "I'm pretty sure you got the best part covered."

He barks out a laugh and his eyes snap to hers, his a suddenly smoked blue that still burns. She darts in to kiss him, two fingers pressed at his chin. He takes the bowl of ice cream away from her and she doesn't even care.

"Wanna make out on the couch?" he says, his mouth already feathering down her neck.

"Yeah, I do. Really, really like that plan."

He laughs again, hot huffs of his breath against her, making her shoulders rise up, squirming into the couch. She sinks backward and feels him come over her, mouth trailing down, taking his time, how he always takes his time with her, and she brings cool hands to his back, skims his shoulders, clutches at the hard ridge of his arms.

He hums into her skin and she gasps, laughing at him, sliding her knee up to give him more room on the couch. She closes her eyes, letting him do what he wants, and then a door clicks upstairs and footsteps-

"Darn," he mutters, pulling her back up. She chuckles at that too, presses her hot cheek to his shoulder as she hears Alexis coming down the stairs.

"Hey guys. I'm going out to Lauren's; we might shop."

Castle shifts against Kate, slides away a little. "We just went shopping."

"But Lauren hasn't gotten any stuff yet." Alexis grins and pushes her phone into her pocket. "Besides, I'm sure I've hung around here long enough today, torturing Kate with all my college plans."

"No. Not torture," Kate sighs, shifting on the couch, her attention divided between what Castle's fingertips are doing to her skin (still) and his daughter's sudden urge to give them space. "You don't have to leave."

"Well, when it gets too quiet down here, that's my cue to go."

Kate laughs and throws Alexis a swift look; the girl has that pursed-lip smile and her eyes are narrowed, but Kate's pretty sure there's no malice to it. Pretty sure.

"We can behave," Kate says, giving her a hesitant smile back.

Castle grunts at her side. "Speak for yourself."

Rolling her eyes at him, she glances back to Alexis, sees the blush but the pleased smile too. They have that in common, she and Alexis. They both like to see him happy.

"Okay, I can behave. And I can make him behave too."

"No, no. Dorm stuff for Lauren; she was jealous over my chalkboard. Then we're probably going to head over to Columbia and see if we can scope out the freshman dorms."

Castle sighs loudly, the sound carrying. "Making plans to leave me already?"

"Yes," Alexis says firmly, smirking at him as she heads for the front door. "Be good. Or - uh, well. Yeah. Never mind."

When the front door slams behind her, key turning in the lock, Kate glances at him, half-smiling at his mock misery. Still, there's a lingering sadness behind it.

She slides her palm against his cheek, softly kisses his pout of a mouth. "Don't worry. I can keep you distracted."

"All year?" he sighs.

"All year. Forever. Either one."

"Yeah," she sighs, but she can't maintain it. Her lips crack into a smile that she has to hide against the thick rope of his arm around her. "Gotta say, your life is pretty awesome."

He hums and grins back at her, sitting up a little straighter on the couch in his study. They've only managed to go from the living room to his office, too lazy to move very far. "Yesss. It so is. Now especially. I told you that you'd love it."

"I don't think I could do this long-term though." She shrugs at the silent question. "I mean. I don't have a job. What am I supposed to do?"

"Do me," he says.

She smacks his shoulder and glares over at him, but he's entirely unrepentant.

"I could be your job. It's a full-time job, Beckett. I mean, really. Think about how much work I am."

She rolls her eyes, but she's grinning, her body flush and revved up. Jeez, she can't stop with him. It's all the time. He told her not right now, slow down, take the day to settle, and he's right - especially after Dr Burke this morning, but she loves his body. Sigh. She loves his body. "You are pretty high-maintenance," she says drolly, but her heart is pounding.

"I know, right?" He shifts his hips and it sends her canting into him, sprawled at his side as he lowers them down to the couch. He tries to slide his laptop onto the floor, but she reaches out a hand and circles her fingers at his wrist.

"Not-uh. You're supposed to write. We're taking the day to settle, remember?"

"But you are just so much more interesting than Nikki Heat," he sighs, shaking her off and putting it on the floor.

She smirks, her eyebrow raised, but it warms her, the words, no matter how ridiculous they sound when he says them. "Castle, one of us has to keep working."

"Not true, Detec - ah. Huh. Can I still call you that? Cause it's sexy as hell."

"No."

"Come on. Please?"

"I'm not a detective."

"But. But." He sighs, fingers playing with her hair as she rests her chin on his sternum. Then both hands in her hair, curling and tangling, arranging it on her shoulders and back. "But you are still kinda bad-ass."

She huffs a laugh and shakes her head, feels the bone in her chin grinding against him. He winces and she settles her chin on her hands instead, fingers stroking the edges of his ribs.

"You need a bad-ass job then," he says.

"Or just any job." This is part of what she talked about with Burke, and it stresses her out. "I don't have any idea what I'm going to do next. Except-" She pre-empts his next words by putting her hand over his mouth and raising an eyebrow. "Except you, of course. I'm doing you next, for sure."

He grins under her palm, licks her skin.

"Ew. Castle."

"Not like I haven't licked you before. Numerous times. Numerous places."

"You do it well," she murmurs, lowering her lashes and watching him as he gasps, palms her cheeks, thumbs on her jaw.

"Beck-ett. Holy - you can't just - we said we'd stay out of the bedroom for the next few hours, but you cannot say stuff like that."

"You started it."

"You - you," he groans and his eyes open. He lifts his head and kisses her mouth hard, his tongue searing past her lips and stroking the roof of her mouth.

When he breaks away from her, he's panting a little, his hands still gripping her hair, and he issues a long, breathy sigh. "Okay. Jobs. Let's think."

She grins and turns to lay her cheek against his chest, content to listen to the pound of his heart, actually interested in hearing what he might come up with. Goodness knows, she's got no clue. And Burke told her to do more sharing, told her it lightened the load.

"I could buy you a coffee shop," Castle says suddenly, and the tenderness in his voice has her lifting her head to meet his eyes, stunned.

"Castle."

"I'd buy you all the coffee, all of it. And then you could be in charge. Run the store. Or just - just work there, making coffee, if you wanted-"

"You forget that I suck at making espresso," she says, softly smiling at him. "But thanks."

"Keep it in mind," he murmurs, and tilts his head to slant his lips over hers, gentle and reverent.

She'll keep it in mind. Because at some point, she will have to do something other than him.