11. Eleven: Wednesday

Eleven

Sunlight pours through the living room windows, spills on the hardwood floors; Castle's loft is almost too bright, awash with it. It's only ten thirty, but Kate can already tell the day is going to be ruthlessly hot.

She doesn't mind. She packed summer clothes the last time they stopped at her apartment; cute little shorts, dresses, a somewhat see-through blouse that Castle will love. She's ready.

Bring it on, summer.

She closes the Patterson novel she's halfway through and stretches her legs, peeling her bare skin off the leather of Castle's couch with a wince.

Mmm. She could go and wake him up. Honestly, it's late, and he can't possibly need any more sleep. (Can he?)

But she still hasn't figured out where she wants to take him today, and she's enjoying the peace and quiet, the chance to have a moment all to herself. To think.

Alexis came down for breakfast about an hour ago, eyes blurred with sleep; they had a quick chat after the girl finished her coffee, and then Alexis trotted back upstairs, said she was in the middle of this great book she just had to finish.

Kate hopes it really is the truth, that Castle's daughter doesn't feel confined to her bedroom because of Kate's presence.

It doesn't feel like it, but-

Beckett propels herself up and takes a few steps towards the window, soaking in the feel of the sun on her body as she tries to decide whether she should go home.

Should she even call her apartment home anymore? She shakes her head in wonder.

It's crazy, really, how she doesn't feel the need to go back, to be alone, have her own space. She used to feel so safe at her apartment, protected, the only place where no one could get to her; but now?

It feels cold and removed and unhealthy, the scene of her obsession, of too many long nights spent alone, curled up in bed, her fingers hovering at her phone until she talked herself out of calling him.

She doesn't want to go back.

And it's insane for her, because she's always been the cautious one, always had a back-up plan, and so this - this whole, I'm suddenly living with Castle and calling his room 'ours' - this should scare the hell out of her. Send her packing.

But it doesn't.

It doesn't and she - she doesn't want to look at it too closely, she just wants to enjoy it, to close her eyes and bask in it, how different it is and how right and how them.

Diving in together.

She presses her fingertips to her smile as if she hopes to smother it, but changes her mind and lets it bloom instead, warm and lovely, so good.

Castle.

Oh, she needs to go wake him. Now.

She spins on her heels, the force of it pushing her forward, all that joy swelling in her chest; but she's barely taken two steps when he comes racing out of his study, in boxers and a t-shirt, bright blue eyes looking for her.

Oh. He's happy.

"Kate," he exclaims excitedly, and he barrels through the living room, throws his arms around her waist, lifting her up in a tight hug.

"Castle," she gasps, laughing, when her feet leave the ground. "Put me down."

He presses a grinning kiss to her neck, makes her shiver, before he obeys.

"You're here," he sighs happily, and she foolishly, stupidly says, "Where else would I be?"

He smiles wider at that, so very pleased that she feels it ripple through her too, that delicious glow of satisfaction, and then he says, smug and thrilled, "I know where I'm taking you today."

"Do you now," she replies, amused, her heart tender and ready.

He nods energetically. "It's so good too," he adds with a twinkle in his eye, rocking on his toes with anticipation. "Can we go now, please? Please?"

She arches an eyebrow, smirks at him. "Sure, Castle. If you want everybody in the street to see your underwear."

He narrows his eyes at her. "Oh, very funny, Beckett. Fine. Be mean. You won't get to shower with me."

She bites her lip, can't help the smile. "Too bad," she drops, looks at him from under her eyelashes, all mock regret and genuine heat.

He pauses, swallows. "Ah. Well. Maybe, hm. Maybe I spoke too fast-"

Kate laughs again, delighted at how easy he is, and presses her mouth to his, gentle but thorough.

"Go shower, Castle," she tells him. "And then you get to show me this awesome place of yours."

His whole face lights up at the thought, and he fist-pumps. "Yesss," he exults, and he turns away and beelines for his bedroom, doesn't even try and convince her to join.

Huh.

Whatever this place is, it's gotta be pretty damn special.

The heat outside is suffocating, but Castle keeps her hand in his anyway, only loosens his hold so their sweaty palms won't stick together. Tourists surround them, maps in hands, their chatter partly covered by traffic; but the crowd clears after a few blocks and it becomes easier to walk side by side.

It's a pretty long distance walking, but when he suggested that they take the bus, Kate shook her head fiercely.

"It's not like we're on a schedule, Castle," she pointed out with a shrug. "We have all the time we want."

And yeah, she's right. He told Alexis they'd meet her for ice-cream this afternoon, but apart from that - no obligations. He's not a big fan of walking, but if Kate is making the effort, looking at her joblessness like it's a positive thing, a world of opportunities for them both, then...

The least he can do is walk.

Even if he can already feel the sweat trickling down his back.

"So you're not telling me, are you?"

He turns his head to Kate, the lovely smirk on her lips, and he wishes he could see her eyes. But she looks good with the sunglasses too - she looks like a movie star trying to go incognito. Well. She looks like a movie star most of the time, if he's honest.

And she's wearing a dress again. Really, life doesn't get much better than Kate Beckett in a dress next to him, the long, neverending line of her legs flashing at him with each step-

"Castle."

"Huh?"

She arches an eyebrow over the glasses, and he suddenly remembers her question.

"No, Kate, I'm not telling."

"Not even a tiny clue?"

Hmm. It wouldn't be smart. She's a detective. But when she's pouting at him like that-

No. Be strong, Castle.

"Not even that," he says firmly, distracting himself with the play of the breeze in her long hair, the slow twirl of the dark, beautiful strands.

He wants to thread his hands through them, angle her face so he can kiss the sharp, lovely angle of her jaw-

"Castle," she warns, her voice low, a little dangerous. He swallows. "You gotta stop looking at me like that if you really want us to make it to wherever it is we're going."

Looking at her like-

How can she even know? He's got sunglasses on, for god's sake! He opens his mouth to protest, but thinks better of it and sighs instead.

She's right. She's right.

Gotta stop fantasizing about her if he wants them both to get there.

He slides her a sideways look, can't restrain his grin. Oh, yeah. He really wants to share this with her.

"A hospital." She shoots him a look that he probably can't see through the glasses, turns back to the Mount Sinai Hospital. A hospital. Why on earth-

"Patience," Castle says, looking far too amused. And proud of himself.

She kinda wants to hit him. A little bit. A lot.

Instead she rolls her eyes and follows him inside with a sigh, because obviously, somewhere in his twisted mind, Richard Castle has a good reason for this.

He takes her hand again when he stops them in the hallway to check the floors attributed to the different services; she lets him, tries to persuade herself that it's only because the air conditioning makes the place so much cooler than the outside temp.

Not because she trusts him, even when he's being smug and mysterious and annoying.

Right, Kate.

The hospital looks spacious and modern: a glass façade that lets in the light, a main entrance that's well organized, seating areas with cute trees around them (probably fake, but it doesn't show).

"Third floor," Castle says, trailing her after him as he moves to the elevators. "That's what I remembered."

What he remembered. O-kay.

A doctor stops the elevator doors just in time to get on with them; he bears an uncanny resemblance to Patrick Dempsey, and Kate bites her lip to smother the bubbling laugh, because Lanie loves Grey's Anatomy and oh, she would totally freak out.

If Kate could take a picture-

But they're already on the third floor and the man is shuffling to one side so they can get out. Kate sighs, follows Castle out. He turns right and strides forward; she has only time to glance upwards and read, Pregnancy and Birth Service.

Uh. Castle?

She slows considerably, wary and slightly uncomfortable - he's not trying to send her a message, is he? Because yes, their week together's been wonderful, and yes, she's nearly living at the loft at the moment, but come on, Castle-

"Come on, Beckett," he says eagerly, turning back to her with a bright grin. "Keep up. We're almost there."

She swallows her misgivings and bravely plows ahead, turns left after him at the end of the corridor.

"Ah, there we are," he says happily, coming to a stop in front of a large window-

-that looks onto the nursery.

Oh no. Oh no. Is he serious?

She sucks in a breath, the panic spreading in her chest and everything was going so well she was doing such a fine job of not freaking out and not running and he brings her to a goddamn nursery what is wrong with you Castle-

"This is where Alexis was born," he says quietly, not looking at her, sounding humble and awed, so very Castle that her heart wavers.

"Oh," she can't help breathing out in relief, wanting to laugh at her own reaction. But he turns to her then, eyes beseeching, and damn it - of course he sees it all.

A disbelieving, delighted smile curls his lips.

"Kate. Did you think-" his voice trails off like he can't even speak the words - can't bear that much happiness.

Oh, there's just no way he will let go of this. She sighs.

"Yeah," she admits grudgingly - the sooner she does, the sooner he'll stop teasing her. "Yeah, Castle. Go on. Say it."

But instead of saying anything more, he shifts closer to her, his hands coming up to cradle her face; he lifts her chin a little and slowly, reverently, he kisses her mouth.

Oh, she thinks dazedly as his tongue slides in, seeks hers smoothly. Oh, yeah. That's nice.

"I love you, Kate," he whispers into her lips. She feels him smile. "Oh, I love you. And I would never - God, I would never try to pressure you into that-"

"I know," she cuts him off softly, and she does, she knows. She was being stupid. "I know, Castle." She kisses him again, a gentle press of her lips, to acknowledge that. "So, Alexis was born here?"

It knocks the breath out of her, the brutal joy that flares in his eyes, a love so fierce and full and without boundaries that she can't help wanting-

Too much.

Wanting too much, Kate.

"She was," he says, and that peculiar smile makes him so handsome, a mixture of pride and soft amazement that must have been what he looked like as a young father, a twenty-two-year-old with no idea how to even hold a baby.

"She was so tiny, Kate. I kept asking the nurses if it was normal, her being so tiny, and they would just shake their heads and smile at me. It should have annoyed me, but I didn't even care. When I looked into Alexis's eyes - I - nothing else really mattered anymore. I kept telling myself my daughter, my daughter, my daughter, but it didn't make it any more real, and I couldn't believe just how perfect she was."

Oh. Oh. She can see it, him - this young Castle with his red-haired baby daughter, completely in love with her, oblivious to the rest of the world.

"What about - what about Meredith?" she asks, hoping that the change of topic will maybe keep her from completely melting. "Where was she?"

He sighs, but it doesn't reach his eyes, doesn't tarnish the bright happiness that shines there. "Meredith insisted on having a C-section. She said there was no way in hell she was passing something the size of a watermelon through something the size of a grapefruit. Anyway, she was asleep after the surgery, and so it was only Alexis and I for the first few hours."

The first few hours and most of Alexis's life.

Kate hums, curling her hands around his biceps as she stands on tiptoe to push a kiss against his mouth. How lucky, she thinks, not for the first time - how lucky that Alexis had this man, this wonderful, silly, adorable man, to care for her and love her and make her the center of his world.

And he's sharing that with Kate. His daughter.

He's sharing his daughter with her.

She closes her eyes against it, because it's so beautiful, so beautiful what he's giving her, and she wishes-

She hopes she can give just as much.

"Thank you for taking me here, Castle," she murmurs against his jaw. "I wish I'd been there to see it."

"I wish you'd been there too," he answers, eyes so crinkled that she can barely see the blue, like the love is squeezing it out.

And she can't help the words that fall from her mouth.

"Well, there's always next time."