Bonds

"Do it."

Rias almost jumped out of her skin at Eren's sudden words.

As it was, she barely managed to stop herself from dropping the portable player and pause the anime on the screen.

Only the two of them were on the bench. Mikasa had left to help a few of Sona's Peerage train, and many of her Peerage had joined them.

It seemed that the death of a god could be a significant motivational factor.

Which left Rias and Eren alone on the bench, ostensibly for 'language practice.'

"What do you mean?" Rias asked, putting the show to the side.

Rias had tried to act normal, tried to act like this was just another of their regular language (anime) lessons.

"You want to talk about something," Eren said. "You have all afternoon. Not once have you talked about the show."

She should have known Eren would catch something, if only the state of enervation she had been in since she arrived.

Not that she didn't have plenty of things to think about.

But it wasn't jealousy at her cute little servants getting to go to Kyoto soon, the impact of Loki's death, or even the fear that the mysterious leader of the Chaos Brigade had something against Issei that had occupied her mind all afternoon.

Rias didn't have the brain space to think about anything but her worries for today.

"I do," Rias said, gathering herself.

She had been putting it off for the last hour or so, but she really shouldn't have. The nerves were almost too much.

Today was the day.

This was the best chance she'd have to get the unvarnished truth from Eren without fear of anyone else getting in the way.

And, without anyone else getting in the way, it was the best chance Rias Gremory would have to convince Eren that she was trying to save his life.

"I can guess what about," Eren nodded, lips set in a firm line as he nodded toward the case poking out of Rias' bag.

The Gremory Heiress looked sheepish as she pulled the ornate box from her bag.

"I suppose it's obvious," Rias muttered in embarrassment, unable to believe she had made such a mistake due to nerves.

Then she took a deep breath and released it as she had seen Eren do a few times.

She looked Eren in the eyes, willing every ounce of care, sincerity, concern, and trust she could into her expression.

"Eren Yeager," Rias Gremory said formally. "I promise to always be someone you can trust and count on. I promise to never take your freedom. I promise to defend that same freedom to my dying breath. So, please, will you give me the honour of becoming a devil of my Peerage?"

Rias held out the case, opening it to reveal the eight pawns glowing with red power.

Eren looked serious as he reached in and delicately picked up one of the pawns, holding it to his eyes.

The nerves got to Rias again, and she couldn't help but babble.

"I have all eight, and I should be strong enough," she said hurriedly. "If I am not yet, I am still training, and I can grow. And I am still looking for other ways to heal you, so you don't have to become one now. I just... I need to know if... Please, Eren, don't die when I can save you."

Though she had started strong, Rias was practically begging by the end, the worry and fear of rejection making her eyes water.

"Mikasa said the same thing," Eren muttered, continuing to examine the red pawn.

"I don't know why you turned her down," Rias hurried to say. "But whatever it is, we can fix it. I can fix it. If you want, if you trust her more, I can... I can trade you to her after your piece settles. It's formality only, of course. Like I said, I won't own you or anything. And with a bit of training, you can be a high class in a few years, and at that point, it won't even be a formality. You have a lot of potential, and I know we'd all love to help you."

"I didn't turn her down."

Eren's words froze Rias in place.

"...What?"

"I didn't turn Mikasa down," Eren said simply, continuing to observe the Evil Piece. "She tried to use her Queen Piece as soon as she realized I would die. It didn't work. We don't know why, though there are a few guesses. It doesn't matter. It didn't work, and we can't change that. I can't become a devil."

Rias opened and closed her mouth, trying to get words out, any words out.

She couldn't, and the tears started to fall.

"I don't hate devils," Eren said softly, replacing the Evil Piece in the case and closing it.

Rias didn't try and stop him as he put it to the side with the movie player.

"Some devils I've met are animals and need to be put down, but I never hated devils as a race. I never really hated anything in this world. Nobody in this world has hurt me, so how can I hate them?"

Eren wasn't lying, Rias realized. 

He wasn't trying to come up with an excuse to reject her. Eren really believed he couldn't become a devil and wasn't trying to change that.

"...Why?"

"You need to understand. Nothing I do or say is because I hate devils. I just-"

"NO!" Rias yelled, cutting Eren off before he could continue. She grabbed him by his shirt and threw herself over him so she was holding him down, staring into his grey eyes.

She almost couldn't see them through the tears.

"Why are you going to die," Rias asked, begged really, her voice thick. "Why can't I save you? I've worked so hard, I've trained every day, so why are you telling me that it didn't matter!"

Rias shook Eren.

"You don't get to turn this into some sort of lesson, some story! You are going to die, Eren! You are going to die and leave us all behind! The woman you love. Your friends. Your juniors. Everyone who cares about you. All of us! And you're saying there's nothing we can do to stop it? Why! Why are you okay with this? Why are you going to die? Why can't you live?"

Rias sobbed, shaking with the reality of her failure. 

Over a year's worth of tears poured out of her and onto Eren's shirt. 

Tears of long nights spent training. 

Tears of fear of failure. 

Tears of helplessness. 

Tears of mourning.

Rias Gremory poured her heart into her tears, all her love and loss, all the fear she had been hoarding and building up.

And Eren...

Awkwardly, with the hesitant movement of those not used to physical displays of affection, Eren held Rias as she cried.

It was not her family's warm, tight hug or the tender and affectionate contact of a lover.

But it was the first time Eren had ever reached out to her.

Rias cried harder, pulling herself tighter against him as if by holding on tight enough, he would never leave.

"I died once," Eren said softly as he held her. "What is killing me now, I had in my last life. It came later, I would have lived to twenty-three instead of nineteen, but no older. In both lives, I've lived with a time limit."

"What even is it?" Rias asked, half hysterical. "You never told us. What is killing you?"

"It's..." Eren hesitated, but he did explain. "We called it Ymir's Curse, after our common ancestor. It's a genetic condition. Only Eldians can get it, and only a few every generation. But as soon as someone does, they only have thirteen years to live. My father had it before me, and so did my brother, though both died before it took them. I had it in my last life. I knew it would kill me, just like I know it will kill me now if I don't die to something else first."

"So what?" Rias gasped, bunching Eren's shirt in her fists. "You're used to it? Used to waiting to die? That doesn't make it any better!"

"In my world, I learned about my condition when I was fifteen, a few years after I got it," Eren continued. "I died when I was nineteen. I didn't want to die. I never wanted to die. I told you all that I wanted to live out the few years I had left with Mikasa. Far away from everything. I wanted to run away."

"But you didn't," Rias wetly repeated. "Because she didn't give you the answer that you wanted."

A part of Rias wanted to give Eren that answer right now, to say those three words he had wanted to hear so long ago.

But she couldn't.

Not out of fear of rejection but because Rias couldn't say them and truly mean them.

She liked Eren. She liked Eren a lot. She certainly had a crush on the older boy.

Rias could not say she loved Eren, or at least not say it with absolute conviction. A crush, even a deep one for a good friend, was not love.

Certainly not the type of love that lasted decades and transcended worlds. 

Rias could not utter those three words unless she felt her love could match what she saw between Eren and Mikasa.

So Rias, like Mikasa before her, could not say the three words Eren had wanted to hear.

It was for the best.

Rias Gremory was not Mikasa Ackerman, nor should she try to be.

"I didn't," Eren nodded, resting a hand hesitatingly on her head. "That plan, the one that killed so many innocent lives, my friends included? It killed me."

Rias's breath hitched, and the tears stopped flowing.

"I knew it would. I knew what I would do was monstrous, terrible beyond all reckoning. I knew I'd die for it. I hadn't wanted to die, Rias. I spent years searching for another solution, one less terrible and one I could live through. For four years, I searched, and I found nothing. Nothing else would accomplish all my goals."

Rias looked up, and through red eyes, she saw Eren staring off into the distance as he spoke. He was looking at a different world than the one she knew.

"I was left with a choice. Go through with my terrible plan and die early, or run away and live a little longer. That night, that party, was just the last of hundreds of attempts. Like all before it, I failed to change my path."

He trailed off, still lost in memories of a world away.

And something struck Rias.

"Eren."

"Hm?"

"You've been using past tense."

"..."

"Eren," Rias asked, terrified of the answer she'd receive.

But she didn't look away from those grey eyes. 

Rias needed to know.

"Do you want to die?"

"..."

"Answer me, Eren!"

"...I don't know."

"You don't know? That is not an answer, Eren!"

"I..." Eren bit his lip, looking out over a distant horizon. "I spent my entire life moving forward. Always advancing. Always attacking. I was chasing freedom. But in the end... I was chained to a future, a terrible fate that I couldn't escape. Not because of any control or outside coercion but because of my own choices. Because of who I was, who I am. I didn't want to die, but living in that prison, that hell of my own making, was just as terrible."

Eren's eyes refocused on Rias.

"You should always chase freedom, Rias," Eren said with the voice of a dead man. "But never become like me. Never let freedom be your chains. Because if you do, you will never be free."

Rias closed her eyes and slumped forward, resting her head on Eren's chest.

"You weren't free, were you? Not even in the end."

"...No, I wasn't."

"You still aren't, are you?"

"...I regained my memories when I was six. Since then, I've been chained to memories and an ending I cannot change. I've known since I was a child I would die at nineteen. My old world had no cure, and there would be no cure here. All my friends, all I had fought and died for, were a world away. And I... I didn't know why I should move forward. Every day, I've asked myself; Why should I do it all again?"

"What about now," Rias asked, half desperate. "You have Aunty, you have Sona, and me, and Akeno, and Koneko, and Yuuto, and Issei, and Asia. You're not alone anymore. If... If you don't know if you want to die or not, at least live long enough to find the answer. Don't give up so easily."

"I know," Eren nodded slowly. "I don't regret being born. I've been thinking about it a lot. Mikasa and you all. I think I am starting to understand. It doesn't change anything. It cannot change the day I'll die, but it... But I think this bench, these meetings, they are what I needed to keep moving forward."

"Then," Rias asked, looking up at Eren hopefully.

"It still won't save me," Eren shook his head. "Evil Pieces don't work on me, remember?"

"Are you sure," Rias asked. "Maybe it's just Aunty's? We can try with mine."

Eren froze.

"Eren," Rias asked hesitantly. "Will you let me try to save you?"

"...It won't work."

"I have to try. Please."

Eren bit his lip, his grey eyes boring into her, and Rias felt her heartbeat quicken.

The slightest movement of his chin was all Rias needed to scramble off his lap and dive for the case with her pawns.

It was clear that, for all his confidence that they wouldn't work on him, Eren was still incredibly nervous. 

Whether he was deciding to trust Rias or his supposed immunity to them, Rias did not want Eren to be in that state longer than necessary.

Rias had her pawns in hand as fast as she could, pressed against Eren's chest and glowing with power.

"By the name of Rias Gremory, I beg you, be reborn as a devil and live your life with me!"

The Evil Pieces glowed brightly but did not sink into Eren's chest.

Rias closed her eyes as her pawns clattered to the bench uselessly.

"...I never hated devils," Eren repeated in the silence that fell. "But I do hate Evil Pieces. Do you know why?"

"Because they can take away your freedom?" Rias guessed weakly, having lost all energy with her failure. "It's not because you believe those stupid rumours that the Evil Pieces are secretly mind-control devices, right? If that were true, there'd be no such thing as Stray Devils. A reincarnated devil needs to stay close to their King for a few years to stabilize their transformation, but that is it. After that, the only thing stopping a new devil from killing their King is the law and personal loyalty."

"I don't care about race or changes of race. Maybe if races were different in anything but power, but they aren't," Eren shrugged. "I don't think I'd have cared if I was reborn as a devil or anything else. I'd still hate the Evil Pieces. Because they are a symptom of the problem."

"What problem?"

"The same problem my world had, the same problem humans have. Those with power will take the freedom of those without. The Evil Pieces are just the second best tool to do that that I have ever seen."

"The second best? What was the first?"

"The power to directly force other people to do what you want, even after you are long dead."

"What spell is that?" Rias asked curiously. Eren had said there was no magic in his world, so it had to be something from this one.

"It doesn't matter," Eren shook his head. "As I said, the Evil Pieces are a symptom, not the root cause. The root cause is the society that created them."

"For someone who says you don't hate devils," Rias sighed, leaning against Eren in emotional exhaustion. "You certainly sound like you do."

"Not devils. Devil society. A society where a child can decide they want someone, have someone kill them, and resurrect them as a slave. That slave, for thousands of years, has to remain loyal to their master who killed them no matter what their master wishes to do to them. Otherwise, they are hunted and killed, whether they have done anything to warrant that or not."

"Not all Kings are like that," Rias protested. "And there are safeguards, laws in place to protect newly reincarnated devils."

There was no energy in her rebuttal. Not only was Rias disheartened by her failure, but recent events had more than proven that Eren wasn't wrong.

Rias had known Diodora Asteroth her whole life and had no idea what sort of monster he had been beneath the surface. Who else was hiding those kinds of horrors behind a smile of nobility?

"I know," Eren nodded gravely. "I know a King who used her power to save lost and dying children, who sees her Peerage as her family and does everything she can for them." 

Rias flushed red, twiddling a strand of crimson hair. 

"I know another who gathers her Peerage after careful thought and interviews. Who chooses them not because of their power but because of their similarity of purpose and ideals. Who chooses people based on the world they want to create together." 

Sona would probably fiddle with her glasses and look away in embarrassment if she heard Eren say such things about her. 

"And I've heard of one who let her lost and confused Pawn run away and live alone, visiting occasionally to ensure the new devil did not turn into a monster yet still letting her live her life as she wanted."

That was probably Serafall Leviathan, Rias realized. Eren didn't know any other devil kings, as far as she knew.

"But, those are not the ones who created the society. They are young devils growing up in an old world. One who's laws were written and enforced by the same people who've ruled that society for thousands of years."

"The Satans are trying," Rias felt the need to defend her brother's efforts. "They grew up in the devil Civil War and have been trying to save our race. Already, things are better than they used to be. The Great War is finally over."

"As a tool to expand your race, the Evil Pieces work," Eren said but still shook his head. "Much better than what Eldia did. Plenty of people would trade humanity for long life and power. The problem isn't the change of race. It's the system. It's always the systems. The empires, religions, beliefs, and societies that only exist to continue themselves, grinding bodies into a road of expansion and power. What devils need is not another tool for the powerful to take freedom from others but a reset. A blank slate."

Eren paused, looking grave for a moment. Rias was going to prompt him, but he shook his head.

"I've gotten off track from what I wanted to tell you today," Eren said, looking once more into Rias' eyes. "I'm not saying my world was any better or that I am better; I just need you to understand."

"Understand what, Eren?"

"I am going to die, Rias," Eren said simply. 

He had said it so many times before, yet this time, Rias felt his words were more absolute, more final than ever before. 

"Whether I want to live or not, I am running out of time. And you all will live in the world I leave behind. So, I need you to understand this world. I need you to avoid making the mistakes I made. Mikasa told me about your words, your dream."

"Oh," Rias said softly. She'd usually be embarrassed, but the topic made it hard to muster anything but melancholy.

"I was glad to hear it," Eren nodded. "It is a good dream. Wanting to be free. That is what I want. Someone I can trust to keep moving forward. Someone who understands that, even if the world stands in their way, they must keep chasing freedom."

"I... I'm not that determined," Rias sighed, slumping against Eren and looking to the sky. "I don't really have a lot of ambition. I just want to be happy. To be able to live the way we want to live without worrying about people trying to kill us. I want Yuuto to be able to open his bakery. I want Issei to get his harem and Xenovia to have the children she wants. I want Asia to go to school and make friends. I want Gasper and Koneko to not be scared by who they are and what they can do. I want Sona to build her school. I want Akeno to accept herself. 

She's been talking with her father, did she tell you? It's awkward, and they're having trouble, but they're trying to move forward. That would never have been possible without the Peace Treaty. I just... I just want us to be able to live in the way we want. I want to be free to be happy."

"That sounds like a lot of ambition to me," Eren commented wryly.

"Not really. I am not trying to change society or make everyone free. Just those I care about. I guess... that's the limit of my kindness."

"And you will kill to defend that freedom to be kind? The freedom to be happy," Eren said, his voice heavy with meaning.

"I will."

"That is what you need to understand," Eren said. "I want you to chase that freedom. I want you to kill to defend it. But I do not want you to lose that kindness. The kindness of a girl who approached a dying blind human and was prepared to use one of her Evil Pieces to save him, even though she believed he had nothing to offer."

"You knew who I was when we first met, didn't you? That I was 'Rias of the Gremory,' Lucifer's little sister?"

"I did," Eren nodded. "When you told me you were Sona's friend, I thought she might be your magician contract, but the name of Gremory is very well known, even to me, who tried to stay away from devils."

As always, Eren didn't mince words to make Rias feel better. He was blunt and direct, even when trying to reassure someone.

"Why did you never say anything? Was it all a lie?"

Was this friendship, this year and a half, all just a lie? That worry had been niggling the back of Rias' head for over a month since they had returned from the Underworld.

"A lie? No," Eren shook his head. "I wanted nothing to do with you originally. I thought you were like all the other devil Kings I had met. When you first approached me, I knew you were offering me the opportunity to join your Peerage. I was ready to fight you for my freedom. But when I turned you down, you did not force it. And you stayed. I had nothing to give you; you had no reason to stay and help me learn Japanese. But you did."

"You were Sona's student," Rias explained. "I couldn't just leave you alone."

"You could," Eren disagreed. "I would have. I kept waiting for the trap, the other shoe to drop. I kept thinking this was some sort of ploy to get me to join your Peerage. Then, I met Akeno and the others. I asked every one of them, even Issei and Asia, about you. No matter what I asked, they all said the same thing. Rias is kind. You offered a choice to those you could, saved the ones you couldn't and never once tried to take away their freedom."

"That's not true. I've told them not to do a lot of things. Yuuto almost died because he ignored my orders to chase after the Excalibur Fragments," 

Rias didn't know why she was arguing with Eren on this point. It wasn't like she wanted to take away her family's freedom.

Maybe she just wanted Eren to see Rias, faults and all, instead of 'Rias Gremory.'

"I was part of the military, Rias," Eren deadpanned. "I know a leader's orders do not take away from soldiers' freedom. It is the soldiers who put their trust in their leaders. Just because you worry about their safety and tell them not to do something that will get them killed does not mean they are your slaves."

"But I was trying to make you into a devil," Rias protested. "I did want you to join my Peerage. I still do."

"Then let me ask you, why are you offering me the position only now?"

"I had to get stronger," Rias answered easily. "I wasn't lying. You have great potential. I was too weak before. I might still be. If I train more, I may be strong enough to turn you before you die."

"I mean, why today? I still have time, you know that. If you think you can still grow stronger, why are you making the offer now?"

"That's..."

"Let me make a guess," Eren said plainly. "It has something to do with the abandoned Valkyrie Mikasa told me about? The one Akeno finds fun to tease? The one drinking herself under the table because she was fired?"

Rias didn't answer.

Rossweiss's situation was... complicated. She had, objectively, failed in her duty to protect Odin. 

Only luck had saved Odin from being the god that died that night. 

Being fired was one of the better results that could happen in such cases. More than that, it was clear that neither Odin nor the Valkyrie had been pleased with her assignment as his bodyguard.

Rossweiss couldn't even return to Valhalla because of the shame of her failure and dismissal.

Rias really wondered if Odin had tossed aside such a capable aide or if this was another one of his tricks.

If Rias reincarnated the Valkyrie, not only would she gain an increadibly useful and powerful Piece, Rossweiss would gain protection and patronage from anyone who took offence to her failure, and Odin would gain a connection to Lucifer through his sister's Peerage. A valuable connection now that the Norse pantheon was part of the Peace Treaty.

It was a political move that Rias wouldn't have noticed a year ago. 

Yet Rias couldn't help but want to offer Rossweiss something anyway.

"Rias," Eren sighed. "Would you be happy if I was healed without becoming a devil?"

"Of course!"

"And what if I became a devil in Mikasa's Peerage instead of yours. Would you still be happy then?"

"I thought by the time we returned from summer break, you'd already be one," Rias admitted. "I was disappointed and wondering if there was a reason you didn't join her in particular, so I wanted to let you know that you could join my Peerage instead. Now I know it was because you can't join any."

"I have learned this about Rias Gremory over my time with her," Eren explained, resting his hand affectionately on her crimson hair. "She's a girl who worries constantly. A naive rich girl who is still learning about the world. A girl too obsessed with Japan, its culture and media. A girl who does everything she can to support her friends. A girl who cannot ignore someone needing a home, even when offering that home will cost her. 

'Rias' offered that home to lost and scared children. She provided that home to a girl excommunicated from the church who had been her enemy only a few days before. And now, when she sees another who has lost her home. That 'Rias' is torn between offering that home to her or possibly saving her dying friend. She is afraid of what her kindness will cost her."

"...Sometimes I think you are too sharp," Rias sighed, leaning into his hand. "And it's not kindness. Rossweiss is a very skilled Valkyrie. A Pawn's versatility would suit her well, between her magic and skill with weapons."

"One pawn should not matter then unless 'Rias' thinks she needs all eight for some purpose," Eren said wryly, and Rias looked away. "I've also learned that Rias Gremory is also a girl who cannot be honest with her feelings."

"I don't want to hear that from you," Rias muttered.

"Rias," Eren said seriously. "This is not a joke. This is me telling you. Do not save your Pieces for me. I won't ever join your Peerage."

It hurt. It hurt so much to hear.

Yet Rias needed to hear it.

"I want you to use them as you always have, to be kind and grow your family. To offer a home to those who want one. Because I know how much having a home to return to can mean."

"That's not fair," Rias pressed her head against Eren again so he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes again. "You are part of my dream. I want you to be free to be happy as well."

"Life isn't fair," Eren said plainly. "But no matter how unfair it is, you must hold on to that kindness, Rias. There will always be people who try and take your freedom. Unless you are the last person alive, you will always have enemies. But if you hold on to that kindness, even as small as it is, you will not destroy everything to get to them, like I did. If you hold on to the reason for your freedom, more than freedom itself, you will never become like me."

Eren rested his forehead on her, his words soft and pleading.

"I am asking more of you than all the others. It is something I failed at. I don't know if it's possible. But, please, Rias. Please be strong enough to not make my mistakes. Do not be trapped by your ideals. Be free, Rias. And free others with your kindness."

It was too much. It was too much like he trusted her to do what he could not.

It was too much like Eren was saying goodbye.

"Fine," Rias snapped, pulling away from Eren and standing up.

She had made her offer. 

She had failed. 

She had heard what Eren had wanted to say and understood what he wanted to convey.

Now, it was his turn to listen to her.

Rias Gremory loomed over Eren, thrusting a finger into his face. 

"You don't want me to be like you? Fine! I won't. You obviously didn't learn enough about Rias Gremory, or you'd know she's a very greedy girl. She will keep trying to save her friends even if they give up on saving themselves. I am not Eren Yeager. I will not give up. I will keep searching for a way to save your life. You will be free!"

Eren looked at the finger in his face, then up to her eyes.

For an instant, Rias almost thought she saw his mouth quirk upwards.

"Is that from an anime?"

Rias flushed red in embarrassment.

Not because it was from an anime, though it might have been inspired by one or two, but because it was partly from the speech she had practiced. The one she had intended to use to convince Eren to join her Peerage before he had co-opted the afternoon by pointing out her plans.

"It is, isn't it?"

"No," Rias hurried to deny. "It's not. And I am telling the truth. I will keep looking. I'll always keep looking. I will offer Rossweiss one of my Pieces, maybe two, depending on how talented she is. But that doesn't mean I've given up on saving your life. So, answer me, Eren Yeager, if I can save your life, do you want to live?"

Eren's lips pressed again, hands curling around the stylized wings of his cane's handle as he seriously considered Rias' words.

"I do not know yet," he eventually said. Not dodging the question, just being honest. "All I can see is my end. What I'll feel, why I'll feel it... I don't know yet, so I can't answer. Only at the end can I give you that answer... If you don't change your mind by then."

"I won't ever change my mind," Rias said with complete confidence. 

It was not the answer she wanted, but it was one she'd hold on to. 

A promise to give Eren the choice he felt he never had.

Both had the same goal. Freedom and happiness for the ones they loved.

But of the two warriors fighting for freedom, the only one who had seen the future was the boy on the bench.