Chapter 8 : While looking at the stars

Helen sighed as she looked out at the beautiful view of the stars. "You were right, Amelia," she said.

Amelia paused and looked at Lady Helen. Despite her cheerful words, there was a look of loneliness in those eyes.

Amelia had a hunch that what Lady Helen meant by her words was not the stars she was looking at, but someone who would listen to her advice. When she thought about it, she was right. When was the last time Lady Helen had been able to spend time like this with other people?

Friends? A husband? A family member? No. Amelia knew none of that was true.

Although Lady Helen was adored by the city, Amelia knew she wasn't good at socializing. She couldn't stand spending time with fake people or engaging in superficial conversations.

And what about her husband? The poor Lord had a lot on his plate. He had to deal with the backlog of work caused by the influx of people into the city. Amelia knew that the most he saw of him was probably when they went to the doctor for a check-up. In fact, she could safely say that even Amelia spent more time with Helen than the Lord.

What about Lady Helen's family? As far as she knew, there was no one she could call family anymore. At least that's what Lady Helen said. Ever since she arrived in the city, she had been by herself. In short, she was alone all this time. Amelia comprehended Lady Helen's behavior. She was simply isolated. There was nobody to converse with or empathize with in a bustling castle.

Even she herself was only with him during the night watch. In the morning, a servant would come and take over.

'Did I... Did I really think of him as family? even though I didn't act like one.'Amelia was ashamed of herself.

The woman in front of her had brought him out of the slums. She still remembered that day. She had no reason to do it, but she did.Helen was like a hero who had rescued her from the hard times she was going through.

And now? The woman she had seen as a hero was now plagued by nightmares at night, stressed about the baby she was carrying, not knowing what would happen to it, and trapped in the castle in complete loneliness.

Yet she didn't say a word. 

Now that she thought about it, maybe those nightmares were caused by a tomorrow that was worse than the day before. Who knows. In any case, Amelia was sure of one thing. She... was strong. Still as strong as when she first saw him. Maybe even more so.

She swallowed. Now she understood better what the woman next to him was really dealing with. Or should she say how incompetent she was?

'At least I have to do something from now on,' Amelia thought.

"Sister Helen," she called.

Helen's eyes turned from the stars she was looking at to Amelia. Amelia rarely called her like that.

She looked at her with curiosity on her face. "You haven't called me that for a long time. Has something happened?"

"Did something happen?" Amelia repeated Helen's words in her mind.Then answerd

'Yes... something happened!.' Or rather, Amelia realized something.

'And that had to change.'

"Next time..." said Amelia. "Next time, we should all come here together. We can talk as much as we want and have as much fun as we want."

'Just don't look sad like that again'

Helen was surprised by this unexpected answer. But she couldn't help smiling.

"Since when has that runt been so outspoken?"

Still, she couldn't say she didn't like it. But when she thought about it, she couldn't help feeling sad.

"Next time, huh?" Helen mused. 'Was there ever going to be a next time? Would she ever get out of the castle like that again? Would she ever be able to look up at the stars and talk to other people like this again?' Helen wondered about that.

She daydreamed. She imagined herself on this hill on a sunny morning with Roland beside her. Amelia and Arthur were bickering off to the side, while Helen cradled her baby gently.

There was one other person in that picture. He was watching them from a distance. She seemed undecided whether to join in or not. 

Now that she thought about it, what was 'he' doing? Had he achieved his goals as he had promised? Had he changed and become a new person as he had promised? She would have liked to see him at least once if she could. 

Still, it was nice to dream. 

She woke up from her reverie. She decided not to overthink. The more she thought, the more melancholic she became.

As she had said before, maybe it was better to let things go!

She finally answered Amelia's question. "Sure," she said, then continued quietly, "Next time..."

...

He lay restlessly on his bed in the serene atmosphere of the Dharma Temple as the Buddhist temple fell silent at night. The flickering glow of candlelight cast a soft light on the walls as the silence deepened. The wooden doors of the temple rustled in the gentle breeze as if meeting the ghosts of the past.

Dharma was lying in the temple guest room. At first, the room was striking in its simplicity: wooden floor, minimalist furniture, and few essentials... But it was soon entirely transformed by Dharma's personal touches. Now, soft silk curtains create a mystical aura that permeates every corner of the room. The wooden floor was polished and shined. A luxurious rug had been added, creating a sense of soothing warmth when you stepped on it. The room was surrounded by high-quality paintings by the city's artists. The walls, once dominated by orange tones, had now turned red. In the part of the guest room near the window.

Dharma was lying on a golden bed. The pillows were covered in delicately embroidered fabrics, each carefully chosen for Dharma's comfort and peace of mind. At the head of the bed stood a gilded figure of the Buddha as if awaiting her prayers.

The room seemed completely isolated from the outside world. The silence was intense enough to make you forget the passage of time. In this luxurious room, filled with the inner tribulations of the Dharma, time seemed to stand still. The deep blue sky illuminated the room, with light filtering through the window.

Dharma was lying on the golden bed, watching the dark sky. "Oh, great Buddha," he murmured.

His inner voice breaking the silence and rising to the sky. "I cannot sleep."

No matter how much the room changed or how many new furnishings were added, just knowing he was in the temple was enough to keep Dharma awake. At least, that was how it usually happened, but this time... it was different.

Staring at the ceiling, Dharma was filled with thoughts. "Why am I so unsettled by this?" he pondered.

He thought he had already grown accustomed to it. I suppose he was mistaken. His mind replayed the conversations he had earlier that morning upon arriving at the temple. The expressions on Monk Daoan and Temple Leader Yu's faces were still vivid in his memory. That's exactly how he felt when initially assigned the mission.

"But if I didn't do it, then someone else would." Dharma thought.

People could not escape the truth, and Dharma knew that very well. The fate of this small city, no, the fate of the whole world, had already been sealed. Innocent people would die because of others' greed for power. These were things that would happen in the world in the future.

Ironically, it would happen because of the religions they believed would protect them.

"Maybe I'm not cut out to be a Buddhist," Dharma thought. 

But after some more thought, he changed his mind.

"No, perhaps I'm more inclined to be a Buddhist because of this mindset. Seeing all life as equally devoid of meaning? Well, fuck it."

He was unable to alter this destiny. Regardless of his efforts, regardless of his strength, he was unable to change things. He couldn't change things. Thus, Dharma embraced it.

Even if nothing changes in the future, at least he can choose his path. Yes, bloodshed was unavoidable. However, there was one aspect he could still manage: the amount of blood spilled along the path he selected.

That was his nature,taking his own path.

Even though he appeared confident in his speech this morning, he was still a human with regrets, saddened by his actions and future decisions. Yet, he was also resolute in his determination.

"But I still don't understand why that old bastard insisted on sending me here, of all the places he could have sent me? When there is already a temple here where he can give orders?"

"I really don't understand that old bastard; in fact, I'd say he's the only person in the temple who doesn't understand. He tricked me with word games and sent me here. But why?" Dharma held his head in pain. "Ahhh, my head. I'm ruminating again about things I can't change."

That was one of the reasons he had been so angry lately. He was overthinking his actions and the decisions he needed to make. Dharma was dwelling too much on his past actions and future choices.

As much as he wanted to admit it, the battle with that bastard with the cane had distracted him a little from why he had come here.

"I need some fresh air," he said as he got up from his bed and reached for his cigarette.

"Maybe a night walk will do me good," he thought and left the temple.

Outside, walking through the streets of Fluere, he looked around. He saw unfinished roadworks, a newly opened auction house, and a renovated transit station. He felt even more guilty and depressed. Perhaps it was a regret he felt now. But even regret would not deter him from what he was going to do.

Cities could be destroyed, but new ones would be built as long as people survived. At least, that's what Dharma thought. To escape these depressing images, he went to a hill just saw.

"I liked nature better anyway," he tried to convince himself.

As he crested the hill, he came across the seascape for which the city was famous. It was really spectacular. It is not for nothing that they say, Seeing the flowing water and crashing waves is one of the most relaxing things one can do.

But a sound he heard was coming from nearby interrupted his peaceful scene.

"What's that?" Dharma thought he heard other people's voices from the hill overlooking the sea.

"I can't be going crazy, can I?"

Despite the slap to her face to get her to come to him, he could still hear the giggling.

"Who would come here at this time of night? People are really crazy!"

He slowly approached the source of the gentle murmur, his steps cautious, each footfall deliberate as he neared the origin of the sound. Upon reaching the crest of the hill, his eyes beheld a picturesque scene: two women reclined on the verdant grass, their laughter mingling with the breeze.

Normally, he wouldn't have cared, but his curiosity had gotten better, and he had come here.

"Well, now that the mystery is solved, I think I should leave," Dharma thought.

After all, he was not the kind of person who liked to spy into other people's privacy. He wasn't interested in women's conversation anyway. So he turned around and started to take a step to leave.

 Yet a snippet of conversation arrested his movement.

"Ah, what about you, Lady Helen? Did you have any brothers and sisters? I realized today that I know very little about you, so I promise to tell you all the funny things Arthur did when he was little if you tell me," came a cheerful voice.

A chuckle accompanied Helen's response, "Ah, I doubt Arthur would appreciate that. And to answer your question, yes, I once had siblings, but our paths diverged long ago."

Dharma paused, not because of the subject, but because of a subtle realization. 

What name did the first woman called the one next to her?