Alone

Lili was sitting on the hospital bed and looking out of the window. It looked as she felt. Depressing.

Only women could be around her. And even though Lili knew her fear was irrational, her body just responded by itself when seeing a man.

And even more, now, after the doctors confirmed what Lili already suspected, she was no longer pregnant. The stress, beating, and starvation made it impossible for her baby to survive.

And that was the second reason she was depressed. She now had two problems, that her mind had no idea how to work out. So it was harder for her to face anyone.

Someone knocked on the door and Lili saw Lucy coming in. It was the first time she saw her. Not trying to be strong, because Lili wasn't, she let Lucy hug her and started weeping.

"I will kill him, don't worry. And I won't be alone. Lei is furious," Lucy whispered while stroking Lili's hair and back. Lei. Lili was so afraid to face him. How could he want her after this? She was dirty. Not good enough for him.

"Actually, he already punched Adam. When we were waiting at the police station, they led him around us… And he just silently got up, punched him, and then sat back. Adam spitted out two teeth, so it must have been a hella punch," Lucy chuckled and Lili stopped weeping and chuckled too. It helped her calm down.

"He should have kicked him in the balls. I wanted to do that so much. But I was afraid he would kill me… That's why I let him do whatever he wanted…" she whispered, and Lucy nodded.

"And you did a good job. You survived. You are amazing and strong. I'm so proud of you." Lucy hugged her again, and Lili was feeling so much better. Not knowing psychology, Lucy already helped her a lot. Maybe the sessions she would go through would help her a lot more?

"Can I call Lei in? They weren't sure you could take it." Lili froze and started shivering. She wanted to see Lei so much, but he would be disappointed in her. She lost their child. Because she wasn't strong enough to protect it.

But they had to talk.

She needed to let him go. Because someone as dirty and weak as her shouldn't stand by his side. He needed someone stronger. Someone like her before all of this happened.

"Tell him to stay by the door. I'm not sure I wouldn't freak out if he came closer. And I don't want to hurt him more." Lucy just nodded and went outside. She probably explained what was going on because it took a while before the door opened again.

Lucy walked in and Lei was behind her. Lili couldn't handle the look in his eyes. He was feeling so sorry for her. It showed in his eyes as clear as day.

Lili looked down at her hands because she couldn't take it anymore. Maybe reasoning would help her overcome those emotions.

"Hello, love," he said in English, but Lili wanted to cry even more. What love? She didn't deserve his love.

"You've heard?" she asked, her voice failing her in the middle. Lei took a step forward but halted himself. It must have been hard for her. He shouldn't be in a rush for her.

"Lili, I know it's hard to believe now, but everything will be okay." Lili was speechless. How did he know? How could he know what she was feeling?

"I'm not sure it will be. And if… How long will it take? I can't let you suffer with me. You need to find someone better," Lili whispered, still looking down, blinking her tears away. But Lei only chuckled.

"How can I find someone better than you? You are the best for me. No one ever can replace you in my heart," he answered with urgency.

"I need time," she said. Lucy grabbed her around her shoulders and squeezed them.

"I will give you as much time as you need. I will tell others what happened. And wait for you. I will help you recover as much as I can." Lei didn't wait for her to say something back. He took off.

"I don't want him to wait for me. I may never recover," Lili said and looked up at the door Lei had just closed.

"Lili, I think you are making a mistake. I think Lei is the one right. But you will realize that as soon as you try to help yourself, you will get better." Lucy smiled at her and caressed her back. Her phone then rang, and she grimaced on the screen.

"Hwa?" Lili asked, grinning. Only Hwa was able to put such a grimace on Lucy's face. Lucy sighed.

"He is pissed. I do not know why, but I don't want to talk to him now. I need to get back to Germany tomorrow…" Lili nodded and looked around. She didn't want to be here at all.

"Get me out of here, please. I hate hospitals. Even more now. I need to make an appointment with a psychologist," Lili said, and Lucy only nodded.

"Do you know where you want to go? Your parents are at your house. They came home worried." Lucy said, as she wasn't sure Lili would want to be with her parents at this moment by the reaction she showed meeting Lei.

"Can you… can you drive me to the cottage?" Lucy was surprised. But it made sense to her. It was somewhere he wouldn't meet people.

"I can't drive you there tho. You need a car so you can get groceries or get away…" Lili shook her head.

"I don't want to. I will take my time there, alone." That was it. Nothing else was said, and the silence that surrounded Lili was pretty painful. But Lucy agreed. She would hire a psychologist that would go there.

"And don't tell Lei where I am," Lili said suddenly, and Lucy frowned. Was Lili reading her mind?