Chapter 37

My two cousins arrived one after the other, and we introduced ourselves, maintaining a polite distance.

Narcissa seemed more mature than when I last saw her at school, exuding the grace of a noble lady in every gesture. Aunt Druella mentioned that she was engaged to a Malfoy, but avoided any talk of wedding invitations or dates, perhaps to sidestep awkwardness. Narcissa smiled at me elegantly, with a courteous but distant demeanor that I found reassuring.

On the other hand, Bellatrix—now Lestrange—was more domineering, her noble facade only thinly veiling her disdain. When Aunt Druella mentioned I was Sia's daughter, a flicker of contempt and loathing crossed Bellatrix's eyes before she masked it. She must have been around eight or nine when my mother's incident occurred and knew I was a half-blood. Feeling her hostility directed at me made me shrink back; knowing that Death Eaters hated Muggles was one thing, but experiencing it firsthand was another.

Dinner was a tense affair. I meticulously remembered everything I crammed from "Basic Table Manners," cautiously cutting my lamb chops and chewing in small bites. Apart from an initial mishap where the fork scraped the plate noisily, earning unified frowns from the three women, I managed to avoid further mistakes by maintaining a facade of calm.

While having dessert, Aunt Druella steered the conversation, and I adhered to my principle of saying less to avoid mistakes, smiling genuinely and listening attentively. When I did speak, I chose neutral and vague comments. I wasn't worried about drawing their ire, given that Aunt Druella had already agreed to my neutrality. Overall, the atmosphere remained outwardly cordial.

Bellatrix subtly inquired about my views on Dumbledore after learning I was in Gryffindor. I responded that he was too biased, spoiling Gryffindors, who were already too rowdy and now constantly caused trouble, often ending up in the hospital wing, much to Madam Pomfrey's frustration. However, it gave me plenty of practice opportunities, steering the topic towards my studies in healing magic.

Returning to school left me exhausted. Before curfew, I headed to the Room of Requirement, where Lily and Severus were waiting. As soon as I entered, Lily rushed to me, checking me over for injuries.

"Are you alright, Sawyer?" She seemed relieved upon seeing I was intact. Then she tightened her grip on my arm. "Did they do anything to you? No curses, right?"

I winced and patted her hand. "No, but you could squeeze harder. If it breaks, I can heal myself."

Lily gave a nervous laugh and released me, switching to linking arms. "If you hadn't returned by curfew, we were going to Dumbledore!"

I couldn't help but laugh. "I wasn't in a den of wolves. After all, they're my relatives. Aunt Druella wouldn't harm me." Seeing the concern in Severus's eyes warmed my heart. "I'm fine. I was just kept for dinner, which is why I'm late. I'm sorry for worrying you."

"I was really worried. Your aunt is a Death Eater, and they are dark wizards! Even if she's your relative, I was still worried about you," Lily said, relieved, pulling me to sit on the couch. I didn't argue about the dark wizard label; ten years in Gryffindor had solidified her black-and-white worldview.

I briefly recounted the day's events and my conversation with Aunt Druella. They were both surprised. Severus was astonished that Aunt Druella easily agreed to my neutrality, while Lily was taken aback that I didn't intend to side with Dumbledore.

"Sawyer, you were just saying that to appease her, right?" Lily asked, puzzled.

I had always been reluctant to engage with Dumbledore, which Lily likely chalked up to my preference for staying low-key or protecting Severus and the potion shop from attention. How could I explain to this Gryffindor lion that I, a supposed champion of justice, didn't want to get involved in the war, or that I, a supposedly brave Gryffindor, was simply afraid of dying?

"I don't want to take sides, Lily. I just hope we all stay safe. Our parents are Muggles. I know you think joining Dumbledore offers protection, but it also makes us enemies of the Death Eaters, who would gladly harm Muggles to strike at their enemies. Remember the Muggle attacks reported in the papers? Joining Dumbledore might put our parents in more danger. I don't think Dumbledore and the Order can protect every Muggle-born's family."

Lily seemed confused, not wanting her parents and Petunia in danger. "But even if I don't join the Order, my family is still Muggles and could still be hurt."

"We're different. You don't have a Death Eater aunt who could help, nor do you have to worry about upsetting her by supporting the Order." I joked lightly. "Aunt Druella, for the sake of my mother, accepts my neutrality and leaves my adoptive parents alone. This is my best option. Also, as a healer, I'll be respected and better positioned to protect my family."

Lily seemed to understand, lowering her head in thought. I looked at Severus. "Besides, Severus can't easily join the Order either. As a Slytherin, he wouldn't be trusted. Look at the usual Gryffindor-Slytherin camaraderie. What do you think, Severus?"

Severus, who had been silent, spoke up. "I've said I won't join the Death Eaters, but that doesn't mean I want to fight alongside a bunch of—impulsive Gryffindors." He chose his words carefully, avoiding harsh criticism. "I just want to focus on my research."

After a moment, Lily lifted her head, determined. "If everyone thinks like that, who will fight? I don't care about the risks. I'll protect my family, even if it means distancing myself from them for their safety. At least I'll fight for justice. I'm a Gryffindor warrior!"

I once again questioned how I ended up in Gryffindor. Lily's words might have made me feel ashamed but not swayed. "I'm not stopping you from fighting. Though our views differ, we can still be friends. I won't fight alongside you, but we can study together and strengthen ourselves. You and Severus are like family to me, and I want you safe."

"…I know," Lily softened, "You two mean a lot to me, too."

"Then let's work hard. We have much to learn and are too weak now. To protect what we hold dear, we must become stronger." I wrapped an arm around Lily's shoulder, encouraging her.

"Indeed, being good in class doesn't equate to strength," Severus said seriously. "Compared to the Death Eaters' dark magic, our current level of white magic is like child's play. We can't fight with 'Aguamenti.'" His last comment was clearly a jest.

Lily chuckled. "We also know Disarming Charms and Obstacle Charms. We're only fourth years and have over three years to learn more powerful spells."

"Who says 'Aguamenti' can't be used in a fight?" I thought of high-pressure water jets. "With increased pressure and precision, it could be troublesome for enemies!" It was an interesting idea worth trying. Lily and Severus thought I was joking and paid no heed.

"I want to learn some protective spells to set up defenses at home, in case Death Eaters come. It might not be much against them, but it's better than nothing," Lily said, voicing my fears. The uncertainty of such an event was terrifying. Family meant everything to me; I couldn't afford any risks.

"You could ask Professor Flitwick. He loves enthusiastic students and would be happy to help," Severus suggested. Seeing our inquiring looks, he added, "As for me, I have other things to learn, so I won't join you."

"Other things? If you mean potions." Lily nodded. "Oh, James said he saw you with Avery and Mulciber, suspecting you were learning dark magic. I told him it was slander; you have normal social interactions in your house. They are dark magic pranksters, but you're not like that. Are they your friends in Slytherin, Severus?"

Severus was silent for a few seconds before muttering, "No."

"Then I'm relieved. I knew James was just gossiping, always badmouthing you," Lily complained. "Why do you two dislike each other so much?"

"Severus wouldn't be friendly to someone who provokes him. As for James, he dislikes any boy close to you." I teased her. "Don't you know why?"

Lily blushed, managing to say, "That arrogant… jerk."

"He is quite conceited. So, Lily, you should keep him in check and not let him succeed easily."

"Who said I'd let him succeed," Lily retorted, annoyed. "Because of him, no boys dare approach me besides the Marauders. Who can stand their constant pranks? Except Severus. Our friendship is really solid." She sighed.

"Absolutely," Severus said dryly. "Should I say I'm making a big sacrifice?"

I stifled a laugh.