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Nihil

Shinseigi Oda, an apathetic genius who was tired of everyone's expectation being put on him. He is also a nihilist, and believes in nothingness. Everything in this world is intrinsically worthless, no matter what one does. He was also tired of everyone being hypocrites, so, with nothing more to believe in, he decided to kill himself. To his surprise, he woke up in a black room with an old man standing behind him.

Miko_Sayaki · Komik
Peringkat tidak cukup
2 Chs

Prologue

Be warned that sometimes first person might appear, let me know in the comments.

Anyway, hope you enjoy it!

(Start)

Everything was great at the beginning of it all. He was a genius, a prodigy who scored the highest endlessly in both elementary school and middle school. Everybody loved him as he soared the highest, as high as the skies.

But then, he saw it; he saw their eyes, full of anger, mad that he failed to satisfy their expectations.

That day, he was scolded and grounded for not coming in first in the whole school. They expected him to be perfect, someone who could do anything.

That day was the day he started to resent them.

Each passing day, he saw how faulty the fallacies they always presented them to be. He saw how hypocritical all of them were, and he slowly grew to hate them. The people around him were full of smiles when he succeeded yet they sneered at him when he failed once.

The amount of hypocrisy they presented was astounding.

He hated the expectations they put on top of him, as if he was a mere display for people to look at.

Expectations after expectations, they inserted it in his mind that he must fulfill them. He grew frustrated as to why he should do that. They wanted him to become a doctor, an engineer, a pilot, or a highly successful businessman, but he wondered why he should become any of those.

This is his life, not theirs.

He hated their fake smiles of appreciation, with envy and jealousy hidden behind them.

Whenever he questioned his parents' ruling over him, the answer would always be: "We are feeding you, sheltering you, and taking care of you! The least you could do is be a good son and follow our words!"

He didn't ask to be born. They gave birth to him without his consent, and now they want him to be all that? Putting him in this pressure? Guilting him to be someone in the world?

He didn't ask to be born! That was their fault, not his!

Slowly, the world blurred around him as the years passed by.

To spite them, he became just like every average teen out there. Average scores, average looks, average fashion, average everything! He didn't care anymore about their expectations, and he started to pursue what he started to love; to be an artist. He wanted to draw as a hobby, he wanted to create other worlds besides his own.

But his parents were against that, yet their rantings and explosive anger didn't bother him. They were nothing but mere passersby in his life now.

He is 17 now, resting on top of the school's rooftop, basking under the sunlight.

The wind caressed his face as his neck-long black hair danced, his black eyes full of carefreeness, his arms behind his head, and his legs resting on each other. Pulling out the lollipop in his mouth, he merely did that before putting it back in.

He wore the school's uniform; a white collared shirt, black pants, and black shoes. He doesn't like this uniform as it reminded him of his early childhood, but he could bear with it.

The sun shone upon his apathetic face, and yet he did not feel disturb by it. Instead, he felt good by the sun's morning light.

This is what he had grown into; this is Shinseiji Oda, someone who is truly apathetic to the world. Someone who wouldn't even bathe an eye even if the world falls to its inevitable doom. Someone who will look at Death's eyes, not caring for his life.

Shin's left eye twitched as he felt someone open the door of the rooftop.

"Leave me alone, big sis. You're becoming annoying," He said as his elder sister, Mizuki Oda, entered the scene.

While he is a student in the school, his older sibling, however, is a teacher here. It is normally banned for family members to be teachers in the same school as their siblings, but this school is a bit different; it doesn't care. They are in the countryside, and the people here don't exactly care for other people's business. It's weird for a village in the countryside to not care about the business of other people, but that's just how it is here.

It may be because of how hard life is already, but he hasn't gone to check that out because of the same reason; he doesn't care.

"Shin," His sister coldly said his nickname, "If you don't return to class, you'll be really expelled this time. The school does not tolerate laziness."

His sister, while not being a beauty, is still above the average woman in the countryside. Long, straight black hair, deep black eyes, 5'9 in height, and is a bit curvy. She is also a bit busty but he doesn't care about that. He has lost interest in romance after he had seen how futile it is.

He'd rather buy a woman to get impregnated with his child, than spend most of his time, trying to date a girl whose standards are probably way off the charts.

He closed my eyes, and said, having not moved from his spot, "Look at me, and tell me if I give a shroud of care about that."

Seeing that I won't move, she muttered, "I see… this is how you chose to spend your life, after all this time. I thought you were way better than this."

"Fine, go get expelled, see if I care!" She stated uncaringly, before turning around in a huff, and left through the rooftop's door.

They don't get him, not at all. Unlike other people who don't question the shady things that happen in their everyday life, he has questioned himself of why he should do anything in his life. He ran it through countless calculations, plans, and even trying to predict the future if he does try to succeed in life.

It was futile. He died at the end, every single time. He would die of old age, and nothing could be done as immortality is way beyond human's limited capabilities.

So, why spend the time going to school just to get information he already knows shoved down his throat? He could spend that time drawing, rather than listen to know-it-all teachers for 8 hours a day. Rather than living for other people, he should live for himself. This is his life, and has always been his! They all pretend to care, they pretend, and pretend, and pretend; he hates that!

Other people are merely passersby in his life, and forming bonds with them is meaningless.

Selfish? Maybe, but so what? This is his life. As long as he doesn't bother them, they do not have the right to bother him.

'But, even then… it doesn't matter anymore,' He said in his thoughts.

Standing up, he dusted himself off and decided to leave for the day.

(A Few Hours Later)

"It's already seven in the night, where have you been, Shin!? You're always like this, why do you return home late at night!?" His mother yelled at him as she stood in front of him with the door behind his back.

He didn't move, he didn't take his shoes off, and only said, "Goodbye, mother. It was not… pleasant knowing you." With that, he turned around to leave, making sure to close the door.

For a moment, she didn't know what to do, until she grew angry.

"Shin! Get back here!" She opened the door, but found no one. A bit surprised, she looked around outside the door, yet Shin was nowhere to be found.

Unbeknownst to the mother, Shin has been taking his time to train himself in his self-taught martial arts. But it was just the basics, nothing too special. Though he had mastered it, he won't be able to fight 10 full grown men all on his own just like those in the movies. That's just not realistic.

While most of the people that know think that he is less of a genius when he was child, he was not. He is still a genius, a prodigy, so to speak. He could understand a material in just a few minutes, or less than a minute if he's in a rush.

The martial arts he is currently practicing? It is something he developed by himself a month ago, and since then, it's been going quite well. Through the use of the internet, albeit slow, he was able to learn and understand the weak points of humans and is now slowly transferring that knowledge to his martial arts.

But right now, it didn't matter.

Why, when he's just going to die tonight?

"I dreamt of a lonely building, among the wooden land," He began as he stood at the edge of the abandoned building in the forest, "I stood on top of it, looking over the darkened horizon, feeling the cold breeze of the night, as the moon shined upon me!" He smiled, for the first time in these last few years, "I smiled, fearlessly grasping upon the darkened sky. I felt no fear, no more, because… how could I, when I'm standing so near with Death?"

He raised his arms above his head, and laughed crazily, "Hahahaha! I laugh, because, on top of this lonely building, I am free! I hold no shame, for I am free! I am free!"

He recited all of this in english, not in japanese, mind you.

This poem of his, will be his last imparting words to this world. Talents? Money? Family? What could he do with those when he is going to die someday anyway?

With one last smile upon the moon, a single tear shed from his eye, before he walked forward.

As he felt his body fall from a 10th story building, he didn't feel fear. He was free, for the first time in his life, he was free…

Crashing on the ground, he hit his head first, before everything went to black.

(Scene Change)

He took his life because he was tired of everything. While he had not explored the world much, as a genius, it was not that difficult to figure out that the world is already filled with hypocrisy and lies.

Among all the things he hates, he hates liars. They are the root of hypocrisy, because of all their lies. Lies are also the root of the worst crimes out there, starting with scams from politicians trying to rule the world with their fake smiles and fake gifts.

He couldn't take it all, it was just too painful to bear. Call him weak, but he is just one human, against a world that's doing its all to bring pain to everyone. He didn't want to live in a world where those with pieces of papers can rule over those who do not have those pieces of papers. He is talking about money.

Money is generally useless and worthless in the grand scheme of things. For example, if the world becomes all about surviving in the wild, would money be worth anything? No, right? Money is worthless, that's just how it is. It's just a myth that everyone wants to pursue just to stay comfortable.

Society is just there for people with pieces of paper to stay comfortable. If people wanted to, they could live in the wild. But why don't they do so? Because society exists, and it brings comfortable things to them. A single tap on the phone can make a box of pizza appear in front of your doorsteps. If that's not convenient, what isn't?

It's all about being comfortable. If you don't conform to society's wishes, then you're a worthless bum that doesn't deserve to live there. Okay, then why don't you live in the wilds, that's okay, right? You certainly don't want to live in a dangerous forest such as the Amazons, right? You would want to live in a forest with less danger, right? Well, you're out of luck. Forests with no signs of dangers are usually owned by someone.

Heh, think about it. Humans own lands now just for trading a few million pieces of papers. How delusional, how arrogant for humans to think that they can own lands. And when a stranger walks by it? Well, they're free to shoot the said stranger for trespassing in "their" lands.

Owning something is just a myth, nothing more. People who think otherwise are what you could say, morons.

But even if owning something is a myth, he would be a hypocrite if he said that he didn't want anyone stealing something from him. It's fine to own something, just as long as you worked hard for it, not got a few pieces of papers from your mama and papa to buy a Nintendo Switch.

Anyway, that's not important now. He is dead, the end. That's his life, short, not fulfilling, but he could say that he definitely did not have fun.

Right now, he is sitting in a room with its walls and floor painted with black as countless flowers drawn in white were decorated around him.

10 Portraits were hanged on the walls, all of them having the faces of people he has never seen before. But they were all drop dead beautiful and handsome. It would not be that much of a stretch that he, himself, is feeling a bit weird with one of those portraits. And by weird, he means aroused.

"Greetings, guest," He heard someone behind him, and he stood up to turn around, only to see an old man wearing a tuxedo, with his grey hair slicked behind his head.

"Who are you?" He asked, cautiously.

The old man chuckled, and then said, "You are in the Black Room, where every visitor is a guest. But this time, you're very special… very special, indeed."

I cocked my head to the other side, and asked, "Special? What's so special about me?" He is a nihilist and a cynic, so he is always doubting things, whether it's right or wrong.

The old man looked around, gesturing for him to follow his gaze.

He saw the old man's eyes linger on the portraits for a little, then looked at him again, and said, "The 10 people in these portraits are my dear children. But they were sealed away in a tower, a tower that forbids people, even gods, from entering. But you… you are able to enter it."

I was confused this time, "Gods? A tower? And I can enter it? What do you mean?" Truthfully, he doesn't know any of these things 'till now.

He smiled at him, and said, "I understand that you have no knowledge of this so I'll take the time to explain it to you. Care to listen to this old man's ramblings?"

Seeing that he is stuck in this room, with no way out, and he has a lot of time to spend, he decided to nod, albeit a bit hesitant.

"Good. Let's begin with the beginning of the Tower of Arcana," He started, "The Tower of Arcana was built for the most powerful being in the Infinite Universe, Zane. But the tower was his prison. Many ancient gods were envious of his powers and, quite frankly, terrified of what he could do. So, they formed a plan that will imprison the great being once and for all; by building the Tower of Arcana. After millions of years of flattering the great being, he trusted them enough for them to lure him into a trap that eventually led to his imprisonment."

"Right now, Zane is sealed on the very top of the Tower of Arcana. I won't go into the details as to why my children were sealed, but I can tell you that I wasn't proud of what they've done," He explained to me, as patiently as possible.

If I was any normal person, I would've been riddled in shock from what I've just heard, but fortunately, I'm not just a normal person. Through years of training, I mastered my poker face and how to turn my emotions off by will. My parents helped with my training, thankfully, with their verbal abuse.

I took the information in me, letting it sink in, then said as I realized something, "So your children were the ones who imprisoned this great being, Zane?"

He nodded sadly, and said, "Yes, unfortunately. They were very stupid deities that all they thought about was their ego and pride. Even after living for billions of years, they were still immature and childish. As their father, I am very disappointed in them. And yet, as their father, I cannot help but risk everything just to find you, the one who could rescue them."

I raised an eyebrow at that, "Why should I rescue them, when they've done stuff like sealing someone stronger than them because the said being is stronger than them? And what do I get out of it? Hardships? Torture?" I said as I wasn't very thrilled with the fact that I'm supposed to rescue immature deities from their own mistakes.

"I understand why you would say that, so I have a proposition for you," He said.

"Oh, do tell," I replied, greatly interested as to what he's going to say.

"You will gain the ability to summon beings beyond your comprehension and grow stronger as you progress to the tower," He took out a metallic pill, and handed it to me.

"What is this?" I said as I picked it up.

"This pill will grant you all the strength you need to defeat the obstacles in your way. You will be given the form of your power through your hidden desires, the ones even yourself don't know about," Said the old man. This pill was something he made for a very long time. And for someone like him to say "very long time" he means, a very, very, very long time.

Nodding, I said, "Hmm, good, I guess? Let's try this pill." He doesn't really care whether this pill is a poison or something, he has died once, hasn't he?

He put the metallic pill into his mouth, and everything around him suddenly became blurry. He felt his consciousness fade as something inside of him changed. He didn't feel pain, no, it was like he was dying again.

[The key to the tower has arrived, hmm? Great, great, now I just need to wait for a bit of time to be released. I swear, those pesky gods made sure that I won't be able to get out of this prison. Even then, it's a bit fun in here. At least they didn't forget to add gaming consoles and millions of years' worth of movies and such]

He heard the masculine and playful voice inside of his head before he passed out.

Strange… very strange indeed.

(Hours Later)

He opened his eyes, wide and clear, and suddenly sat up.

He looked around, and saw that he was in a bedchamber of some sort. The color of the chamber was black, again, and he saw all sorts of stuff that he knew he liked. For example, the teacup on top of the small table right by his side. He has always wanted something like that, it just feels a bit classy.

The bed was also to his liking. It was big, more than enough to fit 10 people. And the best thing is? It was colored black and white, his favorite colors.

Though, as he inspected the room, he noticed something in the corner of his eyes.

Name: Shinseiji Oda

Level: 1 {Experience: 0.00%}

HP: 100

MP: 100

STR: 5

WIS: 5

DEX: 5

Well, that's not something you can see every day.

That old man said that whatever power that metallic pill gives him, it will come from his "hidden desires"? He's played games before, most of them were RPGs, but he doesn't have a distinct like for games. What's happening?

*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*

He heard someone knock on the door, and he said, "Come in!"

Someone opened the door; it was that old man again, still wearing the same tuxedo.

"I see that you have awoken. I am here again to give you the ability to summon personas, each with their own individual personalities," He said, and I became a bit confused.

"Personas?" I asked, tilting my head a little.

"Personas… they are the manifestation of thoughts. Even when something is fictional, if many people think enough of them, those fictional beings will exist through the power of every individual's thoughts. But one individual can sometimes make a persona all on their own, and that is because of the power of their mental prowess and emotions. They are considered rare in the Infinite Universe, but they do exist, though there are only one in every billions of people," He explained.

"And you can give me the power to summon these… personas?" Shin asked.

"Well, not exactly. I am just giving you one of the 13 Arcana, Death, and hope for you to awaken your natural persona," He replied with an uneasy answer.

"Death… Arcana? Those 13 Arcana, are they somehow related to the Tower of Arcana?" Well, he already knows it is. But he just had to confirm it.

He nodded, "Yes, in fact, twelve of my thirteen Arcana are with my children. The Arcana was gifted to me by the great being, Zane. Each one of the thirteen Arcana are powerful, capable of destroying a universe if the user is good. But Death is the strongest Arcana out of all of them, so I have it with me. But I cannot control any of its powers for even I, father to ten primordial beings, is incompetent of wielding the thirteen Arcana. The great being just gave them to me so that I could guard it, I didn't think that my children would be foolish enough to try and seal him." He said the last part with great disappointment, directed to his sealed children.

"But I, a normal human being, can control these arcana? Is that it?" I said.

"Yes, but you're far from normal. Your soul was created by my Children as the key to the tower. I don't know what they did, but to craft a soul capable of wielding the thirteen arcana is simply outstanding. But sadly, you were lost. I spent five decades looking for you, and now, only now have I found you," He said, having this tender look in his eyes.

Learning about the reason for his existence is eye-opening, but for some reason, he didn't care about that.

"Oh yeah, the pill worked as you said it would be. But for some reason, I have this small status screen by the corner of my vision, and I can't help but be confused by that," Shin said to him.

"Games? That's your hidden desire? Certainly surprising, as you seem to strike me as a nihilist."

"What's nihility got to do with me playing games?" He said, "Anyway, I used to play games back when I was a child, but I got bored of it, no, that's not it. My parents forbade me from playing games as they were, and I quote, 'Useless pieces of junk that make the waste of space in society'. As you've probably guessed, I was not fond of my parents."

Nodding in understanding, the old man said, "I see… Hmm, I guess the problem in mortals is that they focus too much on efficiency and forget that there are other entertaining parts in their short lives."

"Heh, tell me about it," he said with a snort.

He smiled, and said, "Well, I've had my fair share of mortal entertainment, so I can see why one would be fond of games. Anyhow, enough chit-chat. Here," He stretched his hand out towards me, and a velvet card appeared on top of it. It had the picture of a cloaked figure wielding a great scythe, looking more ominous than it should, "This is the Death Arcana. The form they take is a card, and once I give this to you, it will live in your sea of souls, AKA, your mind."

"So along with the personas I can summon, the arcana will also live inside my head? Is that it?" h4 asked, curious.

He nodded, "Yes. But you'll have to train it, though I don't know how since I've never managed to use it," He said.

As we were talking, a voice suddenly interrupted us, "Yo! I see that you're still as old as ever, Dragan."

'That voice…!'

"Master Zane!? Since when could you communicate with us!?" He asked frantically.

"Hmm, since the moment this guy arrived. I can only communicate with you in his presence though, most of my powers are still sealed, thanks to your damnable children. Though they did good by creating a key to my seal, they are still morons for losing the said key for five decades! I had to wait for five decades without being able to get out of this room! Do you know how hard it was for me not to have sex with the countless women in the infinite universe!? I could be banging Lady Death right now, if you've just governed your children more!" The disembodied voice ranted to the old man.

He hung his head low, and said, "I apologize, truly. I cannot make any excuses in front of your presence, master."

"Psh, no matter, the key is here now. Though, you'll have to climb all of the two-thousand floors in this tower, and it's hard to climb due to the fact that there are countless monsters in it. But it's not like I'm bored here, take your time climbing it. Hey, Dragan, go give the kid a chance to visit other worlds and have fun while he's in it. Just don't let him forget to progress into the tower. And kid, in each two-hundreth floor, you'll gain another arcana and will be able to free his damnable children. The brats were fools to think that I won't fight back. I sealed them along with me. Heh, they have it worse than me though. They are chained to the rooms I put them in, and ten incredibly powerful monsters have been sucking off their divine energy and are quickly growing stronger as we speak. Your children, though, are growing weaker by the minute. They could die! Hahahahaha! Serves them right!"

The disembodied voice's rants were longer than he anticipated, and Shin said, "Visit other worlds?"

"You tell him about it, Dragan. The connection between us is slowly fading away since the little divine energy I accumulated throughout my time here has just been used to talk with you guys. Anyway, see ya!" And then, the disembodied voice was gone.

Dragan, the old man, sighed, and said, "That's Master Zane alright. He's always been a bit more playful than most beings like him, and a bit lazy too."

'Hmm… other worlds? Of course there are other worlds, but I can go there? Neat.'

Sighing again, the old man said, "Well, I guess you can take your time climbing the tower. I can't go against his words now, can I? So, tell me, what world would you want to go into? Futuristic worlds, ordinary worlds, supernatural worlds, or fictional worlds. Take your pick."

'Hmm, fictional worlds? That's interesting,' He said in his thoughts. As a genius, he put the pieces together and immediately came to an answer; since fictional beings could exist through the power of the mind, then why can't the worlds be the same? Fictional worlds can exist because many people know them, and thus creates them through the imagination of people.

He's always wanted to watch the 1 series that he has never finished. It was in 2006 that he watched Naruto, a series about a knucklehead blonde idiot. He had just finished watching the "Naruto VS Sasuke" part before his parents walked in and took the DVD away since they said that it would interfere with his studies. Well, now he can confidently say, 'F*ck 'em.'.

"Hmm, do you know the world of Naruto?" He asked.

The old man nodded, and said, "Of course I know, how could I not, when millions of worlds just like it exist throughout the infinite universe? Though I find it dumb that a simple cartoon animation can echo through many people's hearts, it is still entertaining to see how those worlds would play out. So, you'd like to go into one of those worlds?"

"Yes," he said, "It's been a dream of mine to see the end of that story."

"Very well. Just know that you will turn into a child once you enter there," He said.

I smiled at that, saying, "That's rather favorable to me. I've always wanted to restart my life, and becoming a child would help that."

"Now, here," He gave me the Death Arcana Card. I took it, and as soon as I touched it, it immediately disappeared to countless fragments before going into my head.

I heard a glass crack, then I heard something… another voice different from the earlier voice.

[I am thou…]

And I muttered unconsciously, "And thou art I."

[Never one…]

"Without the other."

[I am Momus, and I am the God of Fun!]

"I am Shinseiji Oda, the key to the Tower of Arcana."

Something appeared In front of me. A man, no, somewhere between a teen and a man. Long blonde hair with two brown horns protruding from his head, blue oceanic eyes filled with sparkles, a smile that could dazzle millions, perfect white teeth, shirtless chiseled body that of a greek god, and shiny rainbow wings behind him.

"Hello!" The blonde greeted him joyfully.

"Hello…?"

Earlier, I realized that that was not me. I said the chant without knowing it myself. It was as if, in that moment, my body was not my own.

"Ah, so this is your persona? I didn't expect him to be so… opposite of you." Dragan said.

He noticed that too. His… persona is the total opposite of him. He has an apathetic face, while he has a face full of smiles and joy. While he has black hair, he has blonde hair. There are so many things so different from the two that it was astounding that he has Momus as his persona.

"Hmm, for my master, you're such a slob. Lousy posture, messy hair, thin body, and, oh my god, is that a pimple!? How could you have a pimple!? Are you sure you're even my master!? Look at me, I'm so perfect! Silky hair, the body of a greek god such as I, blue eyes filled with infinite wisdom, and I am standing tall and proud, unlike you!"

The sudden insults caught him off guard.

"What…? Why are you suddenly pointing out my appearance?" He asked, feeling a bit offended.

"Hmm, Momus is also known for his snarky mouth and making something look bad with his incredibly high standards. Nobody is a fan of him, to be honest, even among the greek gods," Dragan explained to me.

"Hey! My siblings love me, you senile old man! We just needed, uh, some time apart," The greek god said.

Dragan's eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

There's not much in the chapter for now since this is just the prologue, but you know my style, hehehe.

So, what do you think of the chapter? Comment down below. I rather view it as confusing, but you decide.

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