what now?

I don't know how to respond to that, how to answer a simple question of what happened. Never have I ever thought before answering a simple question like what happened. Nowadays my answer to those concerned with my well-being was always the same, nothing happened by the grace of almighty, was it true, who am I to decide what is true. Is truth even a thing isn't everything relative with general consensus being considered as truth more often than not, anyway I have never pondered over possibilities a simple polite query of "what happened?" could open up. The dilemma that is life and my current state that is.

I may have thought too long for such a simple question, but again who am I to judge what is too long, isn't the feel of time slow when we are bored. Am I bored, my my, why am I even bored of such simple query - "what happened?", another thought if I am always bored am I living longer than others, as I am feeling time more longer than others. Is this the truth of the world, that slow and steady wins the race.

Again I digress, I have been feeling weak for some time now, not sure why and how I am getting physically tired just by thinking wildly.

I smiled towards Shikaku, and told him I am not clear. I have been feeling feverish since morning.

Shikaku was looking intently at my face as though looking at some rare specimen, not his son. Ahhh this is making me uncomfortable, then he said something which broke my world view again.

Shikaku: "You unlocked your chakra, and the chakra points in your head might be leaking. Are you overthinking everything?"

Me: "What now?" I was confused, that my brain has opened chakra in my head, rather than my stomach which should be the normal approach. Maybe due to chakra leaking in my head I have started to overthink so much.

Shikaku: "This is unprecedented that a 6 year old Nara opened chakra. I will help you control your chakra leakage for now, but make sure learn to do so"

Okay mystery of my overwhelming thoughts have been solved, Sherlock would have been so proud by the efficiency of Nara's solving a case.

Shikaku was looking concerned, he motioned his hand in the universal symbol of come over. As I went near him, he kept his hand on my head and his thumb on my forehead. Suddenly I was having a warm feeling in forehead, such as someone kept ice pack on a sore muscle. This is good, I can feel something entering slowly in my forehead.

Shikaku - "try to control the flow of chakra I am pushing slowly in your head, try to resist it"

Ok, so this the feeling of chakra entering my tenketsu, I have to try and control it but how. Let's first calm down and focus on the point where this warm feeling is coming from. Let me focus, breathe in... breathe out...

I have to focus on the point of my forehead, I have a tangible feeling like there is something which I could grasp but it is shy and smooth. Soon I was only focused on trying to control the chakra, and I realized I somehow took control of my chakra to push Shikaku's. Was this against what we were trying to do, I have a feeling that this is how chakra control is initiated.

This went on for some time, with Shikaku increasing and decreasing the flow of his chakra, and me trying to do the same to oppose it. I have to say this was the best bonding exercise between father and son. After some time he stopped. I opened my eyes and looked at him questioningly.

Shikaku - "Practice what we have been doing but try to stop your chakra from leaking out of this tenketsu"

I closed my eyes again and started deep breathing, breathing in... breathe out....

I am able to get a hold of that same feeling after some meditation, but stopping the leakage altogether was a different beast. The chakra which was still not supporting me in opposing Shikaku's chakra has suddenly become unruly. It won't stop from going out, I have a feeling this won't be as straightforward as Shikaku said hmm.

I felt someone shaking me, did I fall asleep while meditating you ask? No, of course not, I have been and will be a mindful meditator. So let me see who has the audacity to break my flow.

I saw a beautiful lady looking at me tearfully, she had her raw emotions so open on display, that it felt out of place for the village of shinobi trained in concealing them. I felt an indescribable feeling that I have to console her, that I cannot see her sad. This strong urge to just go and hold her and just stay there. I never knew when my body reacted on its own but now I was in the embrace of my mother. Huh, the embrace of Yoshino, Shikamaru's mother.

I could hear sniffles, she was rubbing my head lovingly, I felt something wet on my face. I have been crying, it's official I have a very strong emotional attachment to my mother. I will stop calling her name, for the respect of these emotions, this strong raw feeling that I have. No words could describe how peaceful I felt once I had accepted her as my mother, it was like finding a source of light after struggling in the dark.

Shikamaru: "Mom everything's alright don't be sad"

This led to a bigger emotional outburst, how troublesome, huh. Man, I should have better kept quiet. I have never been good at consoling, huh…