Chapter 26 : What an Irony!

SIGH

With a weary sigh, I watched the Sand shinobi retreat, shadows shrinking in the fading light. Every nerve in my body screamed for me to just collapse, to finally give in to exhaustion and let my bruised limbs rest. But there was no time for that luxury. Not now, at least. There were bodies—pieces of them, anyway—that still needed to be collected. Part of me wanted to sleep, but that wasn't an option.

As I took in the surrounding devastation, the air thick with the residual chakra of the Tailed Beast, I felt the raw, corrosive energy linger on my skin. Just standing here was enough to feel it gnawing away at me, each wave leaving a scorching tingle across my burned forearms. Even this brief exposure left third-degree burns in its wake. A grim reminder that the world isn't fair.

I can't even stand near the tailed beast's remains while others like Hashirama can clap them like they are his pets. Now that I think about it, the tailed beasts are his pets. In his previous life as Asura, and also his next life as Naruto.

I used a meager amount of chakra left in me to heal the burns and also form a thin chakra coating on the exposed skin to prevent further burns. However, it is a pity that I can't seal away the tailed beast chakra for later use.

I chewed on the thought, the hint of a smirk creeping up at the edge of my lips. If only I was better at fūinjutsu. The things I could do with chakra like this, if I could just harness it. My fingers twitched as I imagined the experiments I could run, the theories I could finally test. I couldn't stop myself from licking my dry lips in excitement. This felt... familiar. Too familiar. It reminded me of that snake I met years ago. 

Now that I think about it, my naïve days ended since I met him.

WHISTLE

I pushed the thoughts aside as I regrouped with the rest of the Anbu, who were already combing the battlefield, efficient and meticulous as always. The Sand juinchūriki was dead; they'd made sure of that. Now it was all about cleanup. It didn't take long before we gathered around Tsunade-sama, protecting her exhausted self as we set off toward our camp.

I still couldn't believe the plan had worked. Bold moves had been made, but I could see the Nara handiwork in every twist and turn of the strategy. It was cunning in a way that seemed effortless—almost too simple once you understood it.

Back then, meeting people like Shikaku and other well known shinobi one after another made arrogant and naive. It is the truth.

 Now, I was different. Stronger. Clearer in my vision. And, not to mention, wealthier. The missions had paid well, and the side money from selling that famous pizza didn't hurt either. My bank account looked pretty healthy these days. But all the ryo in the world didn't change the fact that my life was hardly my own.

Root was like a shadow I couldn't quite shake.

As I leapt through the trees, I went over and over in my head with the plan to leave. I am brainstorming to see if I left any loophole in the plan.

Unfortunately, I didn't get enough time to think over my plan that I got from my eureka like moment. Tsunade-sama slowed her pace to match mine, falling into step beside me. I felt her gaze sweep over me, assessing.

"You're coming along well," she said, I can sense her approval in her voice. Observations like this come easy considering the sheer number of disguises I wore.

Though, I wasn't sure if she meant my physical progress from medic muscle tear and healing or the development of my chakra control using the osmosis training. But either way, I was grateful for her help.

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama," I murmured, my words did their best to convey my sincerity.

She returned the nod, her eyes momentarily softening.

However, Tsunade started smirking, the kind of smirk she had when she was gambling. Then, in that casual way she does—way too casual, if you ask me—she decided to drop a bombshell on me.

"So," she began, glancing my way with a glint in her eye, "when are you finally going to leave Root?"

The words hit me like a slap. Leave Root? How did she know? I'd only just managed to work out a real plan to get out, and it was barely even concrete. Yet here she was, practically reading my mind.

I kept my face blank, but inside, I was scrambling. Her tone was light, like this was all some big joke. But I wasn't laughing. Did she even realize what it was like for me? Root agents' gazes on me, watching every move like I was about to turn traitor at any second. And the regular Anbu? They stared at me like I was some sort of psycho. Being caught between those looks was its own kind of hell. But Tsunade didn't have to worry about that, did she?

"Leaving Root isn't exactly up to me, Tsunade-sama," I replied, keeping my voice carefully neutral. "That's in the hands of Danzo and Hokage-sama."

Tsunade just snorted and waved a hand like I'd said something completely irrelevant. "Yeah, yeah. Besides, it's not like there's much of a difference, is there? One's just cruel about using you, and the other's kind. That's the only real difference."

I almost choked. Was she serious? Did she really think Danzo and the Hokage were interchangeable? Like they were just two sides of the same coin? Tsunade had no idea about what really went down in Root. To her, we were probably just Anbu with a little extra "dirt to clean up" now and then.

I shook my head, trying to clear the mess of thoughts. There was no point in diving into the reality of Root with her. Especially remembering Danzo's private guard squards that feel no different than a Kunai to me.

Thankfully, at least her mocking Danzo and Hiruzen, made the other Anbu think it is her normal routine to vent her frustrations.

You will be surprised about the number of things she revealed about the Konoha elders when she starts scolding. I ended with weird information like smell of Danzo's foot, Hiruzen underwear patters, the first orgy…..

Well, she literally asks every kid in Root and Anbu to quit them. This kind of history made the Root relax their nerves.

Instead, I looked at her and asked the question that had been bugging me ever since she opened her mouth.

"How did you know I was planning to leave Root?"

Of course, I kept my voice low, subtle enough that only she would pick up the message. It was easy to ensure she was the only one who watched my mouth move. I had to be careful about thus. Otherwise, Danzo is a man possessive of his weapons that he wouldn't mind breaking then rather than leaving them free.

Still, I couldn't help but wonder. Had I been that obvious? Or was she just that perceptive?

Tsunade's smirk widened, and she looked at me with this amused little gleam, like she was enjoying the whole show. Thankfully, she played along as she moved her lips silently.

"Dan and little Minato were the same way back then," she said, chuckling to herself. "The moment they decided to leave, they got all emotional, just like you. It's that sudden, bright-eyed hope for the future. Pretty hard to miss, honestly."

I blinked, taken aback.

Dan and Minato.

Yep. Strictly speaking, neither of them are Root anymore, but they still lead Root teams now and then. When things get messy.

-Traitor cleanups.

-Tailed Beast wrangling.

-Sabotage

Anyway, you get my meaning, right? It is no wonder she feels there is no difference in working under either one of them. In a way, even if I leave, I might be called back by Danzo for some mission. Unfortunately, he usually picks the kind of mission that ex-root can't reject.

The thought of it made me wonder, would I end up the same way? Half in, half out, never truly free? Like Nono, Minato, and Dan.

Oh well! I will ask Dan about it. Considering how freely he answers things for me, it is not much of problem.

-------------------Memories------------------

"HAHAHA! It's fine. Everyone reacts like that when they watch me like that for the first time. You know, Jiraya even wet his pants on his first time."

"Thank you, Dan-san. But, Is it ok for us to leave rest of the rookies there?"

He rolled his eyes and said, "It's fine. Sekai knows her limits."

However, looking at my abused body, he added another word, "Maybe."

It was kind of embarrassing to scream on first meeting. But, It is understandable when one sees and feels the chakra of a literal ghost.

Dan Kato, the guy who will one day reach the goal of every male shinobi, fucking Tsunade Senju.

Ironically, it is the only impression he left on me from my memories about Naruto anime. It was for times like this, that I uploaded as much info as I can about the canon, into my AI.

[Ting]

[Dan Katō was a talented shinobi of the Hidden Leaf Village (Konohagakure) and fought as a Jōnin during the Second Shinobi World War and died in third shinobi war.

Abilities: 

---His most famous jutsu is the Spirit Transformation Technique ("Reika no Jutsu"). This technique allows him to separate his spirit from his body and control it independently. He can then attack his enemies with this spirit form, bypassing their physical defenses and striking vital organs directly.

--- His skills and chakra control were advanced enough to gain the respect of Tsunade, a master of medical ninjutsu and chakra manipulation.

----Dan's death became a significant emotional turning point for Tsunade, shaping her views and decisions throughout rest of her life. She wore a necklace once owned by the First Hokage, Hashirama Senju, which she gave to Dan to symbolize her commitment to him. After his death, she kept the necklace and would later pass it to Naruto Uzumaki as a symbol of her belief in his potential.

---- His ideals and desire to protect lives and one day, become the Hokage.

Resurrection in the Fourth Shinobi War

----During the Fourth Shinobi World War, Dan is resurrected through the Impure World Reincarnation technique by Kabuto Yakushi to fight against the Allied Shinobi Forces.

----In his reanimated state, he encounters Tsunade once more, where he acknowledges her growth and her dedication to their shared dream.

----Ultimately, Dan uses his Spirit Transformation Technique one last time to aid Tsunade in battle. He leaves her with a message of love and encouragement, finally achieving closure and helping her move past the trauma of his death.]

WOW! That's a lot of info.

[Future Kyudo, after putting down a 1000 page info pack: Is this a joke?]

"AHHH! Yess, Yess. Put your waists into it. Now, move your waists together. YES, YES, YES."

"KICHIMI-SAN"

"I can no longer hold back. I AM COMING!"

"What, You Came so fast. SO, Fast. Oh well! What can we expect from newbie. They are Idiots!"

The words are easy to misunderstand. Especially, when how they are heard without context. Unfortunately, there is no misunderstanding. My first contact with real like sex in both lifes has been a Kunoichi being roasted by two shinobi. All three of them are half dressed in Root wear.

Dan Kato, calmly proceeded with his tour, as if it is common situation to encounter.

"This is the locker room. Here, you can always find your change of root armour and uniform ready. This is a place to de stress after the mission."

Looking at the kunoichi who not even bothering with covering herself and calling two other shinobi. I was puzzled and even, frightened. Thinking that I may have been reborn in an hentai world or Ecchi world, not even realizing that till now.

Thankfully, it didn't seem to be the case as Dan-san lead me out of locker while greeting all the agents he knew with a smile. No matter when they are fucking or being fucked.

After that awkwards situation, we entered a training yard.

The first scene I encountered is a guy weaving the handsigns for fire ball jutsu.

BOOOOMMMMMMMM

"AHHHHHH!"

Looking at the downed rookie my age, whose cheeks were burnt and torn open from the jutsu he was training, I gulped down.

Under my enquiring gaze, Dan-san said, "Ahem! Without proper chakra control and proper usage of hand signs in molding chakra through the paths required for Jutsu, you will get the Root's free medical training."

No wonder, the academy didn't taught elemental Ninjutsu. If kids my age need to keep blowing themselves up to learn these jutsu, then it is better to wait until they grew enough to stabilize their mind and concentrate on the molding the jutsu. Because, the kid who blown himself up right now, had the jutsu and chakra control but he got distracted like a kid.

 Mama.

I felt a hand rubbing on my head, messing up my hair, "No need to worry about that. You are lucky in the fact that Danzo-sama and Hokage-sama got there eye on you. I will be teaching you personally, so no need to worry."

I don't if it was because of the messed up month I had or the fact that I have been deprived of warmth for so long, I liked the feeling.

"So, Kyudo-kun. I heard from Hokage-sama that you are fire natured right?"

I nodded in acceptance.

He smiled and said, "Good! I am also the same. I can teach that to you."

I couldn't help myself from asking, "Can you teach your spirit transformation jutsu?"

Dan seemed surprised by my sudden request and even, troubled. He shook his head and said, "No."

Well, that was brutally honest.

Perhaps reading my feelings, he elaborated his reasoning.

"It is a dangerous jutsu that requires a very particular talent. Complete Yin nature mastery and even more dangerous mindset."

This has been the first time that I touched upon the Yin-Yang natures, since I have been reborn. Hungry for the knowledge, I asked him, "How do we master the Yin nature?"

Dan narrowed his eyes at me as if I am an enemy but when he looked at my head band and root mask, "I don't know."

"Huh!"

For all that suspense, I thought he will tell something incredible.

Dan played with his long hair as he said, "I really don't know. As far as I remember, I had been born with abundant Yin chakra since I was a child. As far as chakra control goes, I could be considered to have perfect control.

"Why does this feel like you are bragging?"

Dan disregarded my complaint and continued the story, "Though, as a consequence of that, I couldn't move and set foot outside my room for half of my life."

He seemed to be reminiscing something as he said, "I can still remember those days where breathing itself felt tough. The smell of medicines and hospitals while kids my age played outside my window."

I felt kinda bad for him. For all his talent, he seemed to only know his bed. No wonder, he respects medic Nins so much. No wonder, he easily wooed Tsunade, a broken patient like him is like Aphrodite to a doctor. Maybe, that's why he is assigned to me.

"Until, Danzo-san found me."

I was kept waiting for more but I didn't hear anything more.

"DAMN IT, SAY SOMETHING."

Dan seemed almost puzzled that I asked him to continue, "What more is there to say?"

"Like, what happened and how you cured your condition?"

As a medic nin, I am really curious. A complete Yin abundance from birth might as well be anomaly. Meaning it is like mind is so advanced when compared to his body that his body is breaking down and consuming itself to keep up with him. His spiritual energy is so vast that he that if a Yamanaka mind rapes him, he will reverse mind rape with ease. All that when he is a child. For me to have the same spiritual energy, I would have to experience all the bullshit that Ninja world throws at me and stay unbroken.

However, if I have to do that, my strength must increase, ergo, my yang/physical side also grow to match the spiritual side. Hence, the yin-yang or spiritual-physical side are kept in balance. So, a condition like Dan's is a complete anamoly that might as well go against the essence of chakra.

Dan seemed to think for a while and said, "Well, my condition is not something that was easily cured. Especially, when I tried to try my body to balance my chakra. Even as my physical energy grew, my spiritual side also grew from the experience. Making all the hard work a waste. It was then Danzo took out a technique invented by Tobirama-sama, the second hokage. He apparently made a technique that can put a soul into others living bodies. While my Yin abundance made me useless, it made my mind the sharpest in existence. So, using Tobirama sama's technique I researched a way to send my soul out leaving my body alone."

SMACK

My facepalm made Dan stop his story.

"I can guess the rest of the story. Now, your empty body is broken and remade by Root Medic Nin, to catch up with your yin side. So, that you can become a functioning human."

CLAP CLAP

Dan happily nodded, "As expected of a genius medic nin. Though, it left me with only 20 more years to live at best. HAHA!"

My exhaustion and facepalm is not regarding that. No, it was because even this Kinjutsu has it's roots spreading to Tobirama.

Seriously, It is as if that dude was scared he will forgotten if he didn't create forbidden Jutsu. Now that I think about it, if it wasn't for his jutsu creations, no Naruto fan would bother to remember when compared to Hax like Hashirama and Madrara. Well done, Kishimoto.

I just hope that I don't die from his mid life crisis research that suddenly comes to light, one day. Seriously dude, if Madara spanked you, it doesn't mean you have to do all this bullshit. You could have just applied some healing salve for the bum instead of researching ways to manipulate the souls.

----------------------------Memories end--------------

After that day, I added another name to blame for all the messed up things in Naruto.

Black Zetsu, Tobirama, Danzo and Orochimaru.

Together, these 4 alone spewed at 90% of the shit that keeps me awake at night. Now that I think about it, they are also indirectly connected to the other 10%. Fucking assholes.

PIT PAT PIT PAT.

The rain fell hard and heavy, hitting me like needles against my skin, each drop colder than the last. For a second, I looked up, watching it all just blur into the dark sky. I hadn't even noticed the clouds rolling in, thickening into a storm right over us.

And then—

"TSUNADE-SAMA!" The scream cut through the air, sharp and panicked.

Tsunade's chakra flared, and she shot forward, that precision and speed of hers snapping me out of my daze. I could feel her chakra reserves filling up, and here I was, running close to empty, barely hanging on after everything we'd been through. Hell, at least I had a bit left before I'd completely hit chakra exhaustion.

A shinobi lay collapsed on the ground ahead, and Tsunade reached him in seconds, crouching at his side. From my position in the trees, I squinted, already thinking through the likely injuries, the odds, my gut instinct. This guy was in bad shape, that much was clear from where I stood.

I muttered under my breath, "This guy's luck is just rock bottom. After all that… even Tsunade can't pull off miracles with what's left of her chakra."

The others—the ANBU and Root, all silent up in the branches—didn't respond. Guess they felt the same way I did: helpless to do anything but watch.

"KYUDO, GET YOUR ASS HERE!"

My body reacted before my brain could even process the command. I flickered to her side, dropping down beside her on instinct.

And then I saw him. The silver hair, long and matted with blood, a jonin vest torn and cut to shreds to give Tsunade full access to the wound. A single stab, right through the tenth rib, puncturing the heart. I felt my stomach twist.

Dan.

Shit. This guy really was done for. A stab through both lungs *and* the heart? Even at full reserves, I didn't have enough chakra to go into the 4 hr lengthy procedure it would take to patch that kind of wound.

There's no way he'd make it through the night with this.

I dropped to my knees, pressing my hands over the wound. I poured what chakra I could spare, enough to take on some of her load, to act as his lungs, his heart, just to keep him alive a little longer. Rain kept pouring, slicking my hands as I struggled to keep steady, feeling every second pass, knowing we were losing time.

The more I pushed, the more I knew I was nearing my limit. I could feel my chakra slipping, inching closer to exhaustion. The familiarity of it all weighed on me, a mix of bitterness and guilt pooling in my gut. How many times had I been here? Pushing, working, knowing that no matter how hard I tried, my patient was past saving.

Dan's breathing hitched, and he opened his eyes, just barely, searching in the rain and finding her. I could see the look in his eyes, the pain, but there was something else, too—a softness, something almost peaceful as he looked at her.

"Tsunade…" His voice was weak, just a breath above the rain. "Don't… don't cry."

Her fingers shook as she kept her hands pressed to his wound, pouring chakra into him like her life depended on it. But even with everything she was putting in, I knew it wouldn't be enough. She had to know it, too. But she kept going, her jaw clenched, her tears mingling with the rain and blood.

"Damn it, Dan," she whispered, the desperation clear in her voice. "You're not… you're not leaving me like this. Not now."

But Dan gave a weak smile, lifting his hand to her cheek. "You'll… you'll be fine, Tsunade. Strongest… person I know." He took a ragged breath, voice faltering. "You… made me… proud."

Her face twisted, and I could feel the helplessness coming off her, thick and raw. She didn't cry, but her eyes were wet and hard as she looked at him, as if daring him to give up.

"Kyudo," she said, her voice barely holding it together. "We need more chakra. Just… just a little more."

I bit back my own frustration, nodding, even though we both knew it wasn't possible. I gave it everything, feeling my own reserves scraping bottom, my muscles trembling with the strain. But it wasn't enough.

Dan's breathing slowed, and he gripped her hand, his eyes flickering shut, his last words a soft whisper. "Don't… forget me."

And just like that, he was gone.

The rain kept falling, the only sound in the clearing, drowning everything out. I withdrew my hands, the cold settling in as I sat back, drained and numb. Tsunade didn't move. She just stayed there, her hand still pressed to his wound, her face a mask of grief and fury and something I couldn't name.

Then she looked up, her eyes meeting mine for a split second. There was something different in them. I couldn't find it before she got up while hugging his body in her arms.

Without a word, she flickered away, leaving me standing alone in the rain. I stayed there, staring down at blood pool from Dan left.

Fuck, Dan was gone. And Tsunade was no longer the same.

1 village down from enemies list.

1 S-rank down on Konoha's side. And another S-rank crippled with trauma.

Shit, I knew that some was going wrong in my gut when I usually felt the memories rushing at me. It was ironic that an S-rank duo that killed a Tailed beast ended due to a lucky genin's strike on Dan's defence less body.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE DAN'S ESCORT TEAM DOING?"

"They are dead."

"Well, fuck. That was depressing."