Chapter 122: Seon-Ho

As far as I remembered there were a number of kisengs that were interested in me, and that brat was still trying to push me away. I stayed by her side all night when she broke down but she still had trouble opening up to me about her father and the pain she was going through even though I understood it perfectly. But she would not open up to me at all and kept herself busy doing senseless chores...and even made some nonsensical excuse about how I should leave her because her blood was tainted with epilepsy and she was an unfit choice to be a wife...but I knew she didn't mean what she was saying, she was just lost in her grief, even her brother couldn't talk her out of it. I knew she was going through a lot but I wasn't going to loose her; not now, not ever. So I continued my usual routine of making her jealous and spoiling the kisengs and I could tell it was upsetting her more than usual...but she still wouldn't approach me, although I caught her a few times trying to.

I knew it was bad timing...but the new her was just so alluring even when she grieved that...the more she pushed me away the more I had to have her no matter what. She didn't loose her composure once since her little breakdown and still tired to help everyone but herself, although she still tried to avoid me. But I wasn't having any of it; I sent kisengs to her room all the time to show off the gists they got, I sent them to her to torment her and to provoke her into giving me some kind of reaction. For a while she kept it together but there was a serious tension brewing between us that was so intense that it made us loose ourselves in each other completely. Yeon had never really been a jealous person before but I could see that she was struggling as I did everything to put myself in her path. I still took care of her personally despite her protests, but whatever this thing was that was growing between us was starting to get out of hand, and so was my stubbornness. But I wasn't this cruel monster that was having trouble controlling himself around a woman; Yeon was cunning and I got to know just how much.

She started finally paying attention to me after some concubines had started getting more clients so they couldn't be in my company while Yeon did carried out her chores, did small odd jobs and practised her weaponry and even dancing when she thought I wasn't watching. She then got back into taking good care of herself and cultivating her mind again by getting back into reading books. But this time, she must have known that she had my attention and that I was watching her every moment I could, so much so that I was back to my old tricks of...being a little greedy with her when she slept just like in my father's mansion. I found myself on top of her when I couldn't control myself anymore, which was pretty much every chance I got. I tried to restrain myself as much as I could before I started kissing her again for days on end...until she opened her eyes one day and caught me in the act.

I was frozen as I tried to make out the look that she gave me; it wasn't...fear, it wasn't...disgust and it wasn't anger. She just looked at me with such clear eyes...and once again I saw myself in them again. But the way she was looking at me today made my feel a little...shy and awkward for some reason. I almost fumbled my way off of her...but she caught me by the arm and pulled me down on the bed next to her. In all the time I had been chasing her, she rarely showed me true affection to my face, it was always behind my back. But here she was; smiling at me and wrapping herself around me and commenting about 'how I was doing the same thing in my father's mansion.' I couldn't help but blush like crazy as tried to turn away but she just laughed at me as turned me towards her and we did something I had been trying to do all along; we talked, and we talked and we talked about everything there was to talk about until her hand found my cheek and her lips found mine...but this time we were not being gentle at all...and we were not in a gentle mood either.