Untitled Chapter

I have been here for a while now, with practically nothing to do all day long, it is only normal that I would continue to observe my surrounding and those who are within it. The only people I associate with are the elder, his mother, and Juna. Apart from them, I am really lonely. I miss having people I considered good friends and family, who I would be able to talk to and turn to, at any point in time. It is one thing that the base gave to me, which I will forever be grateful for and never regret, friends turned families.

I do think of Maman and italula once in a while, I wonder if italula had given birth to a male or a female child and if the father of her child had gotten his act together finally to appreciate the family given to him. Color is not important, because underneath the color, our bodies function the same way, with blood and it is also covered by flesh too, so why should we allow something physically seen change our mindset and perspective of seeing other people. Even despite the fact that she was sick, she was always a lovely person to be around, she was like the elder sister I never had who was willing to take me under her wings,

I do not know why i am  reminiscing so much today, it could be because I am feeling so alone and want the support system which I used to have to be back around me. Would Maman still recognize me when she sees me, will I still be able to do the same when I see her? I have so many thoughts running through my head at the moment, but I really do wish that we would all meet each other again sometime,

I am feeling so lost, I am trying to hold myself together but I keep sinking deeper with each thought that rises up in my head and I am at a loss as to how to handle it all. I wanted those motherly hands to wrap around me now and whisper to me that everything would be alright and I would get over it all very soon. The words they whisper may not seem plausible but right there in their arms, it feels as if I would be able to do anything that I put my mind to.

I really do need to be around people or else I would keep wallowing in my loneliness and pain. I made attempts to dry my eyes because I did not want to go out there looking like I had spent all my time crying because that was not what happened, I only spent like half my time. I also do not want the Elder's mother to feel like she was the reason why I was crying, it is just that it all hit me once, combined with this uneasy feeling that I keep getting recently.