Chapter 152

When I could no longer hold it in, I quickly looked for a spot to do my business. When I was done, the thought of how to get back to the makeshift bed I was lying in, almost brought tears to my eyes, I just wanted to lay down and sleep off where I was but that was practically impossible. I had to firm up my resolve and make it back. When I finally got there, I heaved myself in an unladylike manner on to the bed, the pain I got from the little trip to relieve myself, let me know that my injuries were severe and not to be looked down on or ignored. Despite how tired and weak I was, it did not stop my stomach from making it's presence known and my throat kept feeling raw and achy due to lack of water and use.

I tried to say something or form a string of word but my voice was raspy and there was no intelligible words emitting from it, so I had to put an end to it immediately so I would not put a lot of pressure on my throat which would make it worse than it already was. I decided since there was nothing to do, I should draw the people that mattered to me and made me who I was. I could still remember the last drawing debacle I did and how much of a disaster it was but this was not going to be anything like that, I just needed to that how I feel about that person, then it is all over

I picked up a little piece of wood laying on the ground and adjusted myself so I was laying on my side, it would make it easier for me to be able to draw than in the position I was before. When it comes to the people that mattered most to me, it would always be family. I may have forgotten how they look, and everytime I try to visualize their faces in my mind, I always end up blank. It brought tears to my eyes everytime I thought about it, I felt like I was betraying them and their memories. I only wish I could see Mother and properly apologize to her for all the pains and hurt I out her through. They say a mother's instinct is very strong and never makes a mistake,  I wonder if she would be able to recognize me again

One thing I am surely fighting for and one of the main reason I can not run away, is because I want to back in search of her and maybe we could finally be reunited. The only push I need that keeps me going daily, is the fact that I would meet up with her one day as she was the only family I had left. Sometimes I become worried that something happened to her or she is dead but I know fate is not so cruel to deal such a fate to me