Since I Been Gone

Tiffany was left utterly speechless as Drayvos seamlessly transformed back into his human form.

"Okay, Alex, what the hell was that?!" She exclaimed, her voice trembling with shock. "And who ARE you?" Her eyes darted between Alex and the enigmatic figure before her, uncertainty etched across her features.

"Tiff, please, just sit down," Alex implored, a note of urgency in his voice. "I'll explain everything."

"He just... He just!" Tiffany waved her hands in frustration, struggling to process the surreal events unfolding before her.

"It is called Mineralmancy, a gift bestowed upon me by my nephew Dionysus and my uncle Hephaestus," Drayvos explained with a nonchalant shrug, as if discussing the weather.

"And what exactly does that mean?" Tiffany shot back, her frustration mounting. "And seriously, who ARE you?"

"Allow me to introduce you to... Drayvos, the youngest and last son of Ares, the God of War," Alex interjected, hoping to defuse the tension.

"Wait, really? Ares, as in the Ares of Greek mythology?" Tiffany scoffed disbelievingly.

"Yes, that Ares. He's my father. My mother perished while he rescued her from warring armies in the 800s," Drayvos confirmed matter-of-factly.

Tiffany's disbelief began to give way to astonishment as the pieces of the puzzle started to fall into place. "But... Ares and the Pantheon are figures from ancient mythology. They couldn't possibly be real, could they?" she mused aloud, her mind grappling with the implications of what she was hearing.

As if to punctuate the conversation, Drayvos picked up the empty wine cooler bottles and handed them to Tiffany. In a breathtaking display of his otherworldly abilities, the bottles transformed into solid gold before her eyes. "Here, consider this a token of gratitude for your troubles," he offered with a disarming smile, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Is that...? Did he just...?" Tiffany's eyes widened in disbelief as she gazed upon the extravagant gifts before her.

With a smirk, Alex rapped his knuckles against the walls of his new yacht. "How do you think we could afford this?" he teased, his tone laced with a hint of mischief.

As the reality of the situation began to sink in, Tiffany struggled to make sense of it all. "Okay... but this makes no logical sense... but... the evidence is in my hands," she mused aloud, her brow furrowing in confusion.

"Occam's Razor," Alex interjected simply.

Recognition flickered in Tiffany's eyes. "Occam's... yes," she murmured, grasping the reference. "When all logic fails to explain, the simplest answer is often the truth." Casting a skeptical glance at the golden bottles before turning her attention to Drayvos and then back to Alex, she couldn't help but voice her burning question. "So... how did you... meet the lost son of Ares?"

And so, Alex embarked on the task of recounting the whirlwind of events that had transpired since their last conversation in Athens, regaling Tiffany with tales of adventure, danger, and the unexpected twists and turns that had brought them to this moment.

—

He recounted the bustling events of the Agora, where Alex and Drayvos's paths first crossed within the hallowed walls of the temple of Ares. It was there that Drayvos, with a touch of ancient Greek grace, captured Alex's attention.

Drayvos's daring escapade through the winding streets of Athens, clad only in a perizoma, fleeing from the grasp of the law and vanishing into the shadows of the rooftops.

Their clandestine rendezvous in the back alleys, where secrets were shared, and Drayvos unveiled the ancient art of Mineralmancy, sparking the beginning of their extraordinary bond.

Their initial night spent together in a modest hotel, where they remained mere acquaintances, punctuated by Drayvos's comically dramatic first encounter with Earth's modern amenities, particularly his theatrical debut in the shower.

From there, their journey unfurled into a grand adventure, charting a month-long sea voyage from the shores of Greece, traversing the vast expanse of the ocean, and navigating the Panama Canal en route to California. Not before, of course, securing Drayvos a wardrobe of traditional togas befitting his noble stature.

Amidst the rolling waves and starlit nights, their bond deepened in the humble confines of the mess hall, where genuine connections were forged amidst hearty meals and shared stories.

Their tale took a dramatic turn when faced with a perilous encounter—a pirate attack on their transport ship. In a display of valorous heroism, Drayvos emerged as their guardian angel, bravely defending the crew and turning the tide of battle in their favor.

As a token of gratitude for his gallant deeds, they were bestowed the privilege of VIP quarters for the remainder of the voyage, offering respite and sanctuary amidst the chaos of the high seas.

With a mischievous glint in his eye, Alex alluded to the passionate moments shared within the confines of their newfound sanctuary, hinting at the steamy encounters that ignited between them."

"Oh my goodness, I completely forgot!" Alex nearly exclaimed, a burst of excitement lighting up his eyes. "Drayvos here has another incredible ability—he can cure himself of almost any bacterial or viral infection!" Giving Drayvos an appreciative pat on the back, Alex continued, "Back on the ship, he fell seriously ill. It turned out to be a result of the human and Earth bacteria and viruses we were all inoculated against as children, given that he was born and raised on this planet."

Tiffany's eyes widened in astonishment as she processed the revelation. "Oh my God!" she gasped, her gaze shifting between Alex and the still very much alive Drayvos. "That's like what saved Earth and defeated the aliens in 'War of the Worlds'! How is this possible?"

With a serene smile, Drayvos casually transformed into solid copper before their eyes, then just as effortlessly returned to his human form. "Copper possesses antimicrobial properties that effectively kill and disinfect almost all known bacteria and viruses on contact," he explained calmly. "I simply transform into a copper statue once a day for an hour, and voilà—no more infections!"

"Isn't that incredible!?" Alex exclaimed with contagious enthusiasm, eager to share more of their extraordinary journey with Tiffany.

—

Tiffany's jaw dropped in gossipy astonishment. "An eleven-hundred-year-old virgin?!"

Drayvos couldn't help but flash a mischievous grin. "Not anymore!"

Alex chuckled, shooting a playful wink in Drayvos's direction. "He can thank me for that. But back to the story..." He resumed his recounting of the events so far, eager to fill Tiffany in on the thrilling journey they had embarked upon together.

—

Alex recounted how he and Drayvos had spent an eventful month-long voyage to Panama City, filled with a whirlwind of nonstop schooling and hot steamy moments than he could count.

From navigating the challenges of life aboard the ship to the euphoria of reaching Panama City, their journey had been nothing short of extraordinary. But the most astonishing revelation came when Drayvos unveiled his incredible ability—the Midas Touch, the power to transform anything he touched into pure gold.

"So... Drayvos can just turn anything into gold, and you sell it for..." Tiffany's eyes widened in disbelief as she clutched her own gold bottles.

"For exorbitant amounts of money!" Alex interjected, gesturing proudly to their luxurious surroundings and the opulent yacht that now served as their home.

"So, you bought this yacht and moved in together..." Tiffany prompted, trying to piece together the fantastical tale.

"And we even gave this vessel a proper christening!" Drayvos chimed in with a grin, his chest swelling with pride.

"Did you smash a champagne bottle on the hull?" Tiffany inquired, her curiosity piqued.

"No! We did something even better," Drayvos exclaimed with boundless pride, slapping Alex on the back with a hearty hand. "I fucked Alex in every room on the ship!"