No Control

AMY

I love the way that the Captain grabs my hand every so often. It is like that invincible power that he has over me that just intensified once he does that. Then I hear him asking me if I am afraid to go to war. I know that I have come off to be the strong independent doctor but war is a completely different thing.

If I tell him that I am afraid he might think that I would not be able to do this tour. Then I would be seen as a weakling and in need of rescue but I know that the Captain has too many things on his mind to worry about me. He has to attack another ship and I can not be the thought that distracts him.

But if I tell him that I am not afraid he would know that I lie because I am trembling. It feels like I want to tell him and I want him to hold me tight but at the same time, I want to show him that I am okay.

"That is a very difficult question, Captain. I would lie if I say that I am not but I can handle it should the time come"

ZAC