Chapter 9: He Really Is A Cutie

AJ’s POV

He’s crazy. He’s crazy. He’s absolutely insane. My mate is insane. Here I thought I was lucky to have found my mate, but it turns out he’s actually insane.

I tried to force myself to take a deep, deep breath, but it did not come easily at all. What on earth was I supposed to do? I had just found out that my mate either thought he shared a pack with vampires, or that it was actually true. Never mind all the other brainwash-y stuff going on. A conduit to reach children? Access all your thoughts and feelings? True Alpha?

My new mate was wrapped up in some really messed up stuff.

Talk about a forbidden pack.

I needed to get out of here. I had to tell my Alpha what was going on. Then he needed to call a Council, and—

“AJ? Talk to me. Please?”

Maxx looked hurt. Earlier, I had been caught up in how handsome he looked. Only now he looked sort of soft. It’s strange to say, but it was an odd look for him. I was seeing a vulnerable part of him. This moment meant something special to him. It reminded me that this really should have been a special moment for me as well. But here I was, only thinking about getting the hell out of dodge.

I looked my mate in the eyes. I wanted to be comforting, or at the very least, I’d have liked to mask my tremendous concern. Pretty sure I failed though, because the longer Maxx and I looked at each other, the more sad he seemed to look.

“It. It isn’t you...” I said. “Maxx, please. There isn’t anything wrong with you.”

“Then what is it? AJ, what’s wrong?”

“Well. Uhm…” I trailed off, not knowing where to start. So I sort of decided just to start everywhere all at once. It was one of the stupider decisions I’d make in my life. “All of it. All of it is wrong.”

“What.”

That was exactly how he said it. Full stop, and with perhaps no inflection at all. And I could hardly blame him. Being part of an eclectic pack was one thing. But he had just described a cult; a really freaky cult. What’s worse was, I really liked this guy. I wanted to keep liking him. And, shoot, I knew I would. I would not leave him, especially because of something outside of his control. After all, if he was raised in a messed up world where his True Alpha actually ruled everything, including Satellite Alphas or whatever to extend his reach, and he had vampires under his control too I guess—well, none of that was Maxx’s fault.

But I knew I needed help to get us through this one.

“We should go.” I said.

“Go where? AJ, come on. Go where?”

“I don’t know, Maxx.” The urge to shift was rising within me. It was paired with my urge to run away. Had I been left to my own devices, I likely would have. Yes, I had been looking for the mate bond my whole life. But I had a duty to protect myself, and keep myself safe, too. Forming a mate bond with a handsome boy from a vampire cult pack just didn’t factor into that.

But my wolf had other ideas.

We weren’t always the closest, my inner wolf and I. I didn’t like when she got carried away. She didn’t care for when I overexerted control. The times in my life where I felt the worst always included my wolf and I being at odds with each other.

Unfortunately, that happened to be most of the time.

For instance, her pull toward Maxx was fierce. It was a fire which scared me. It seemed to defy all odds. The energy I felt from her felt like a fight about to break out. It was like she wanted Maxx to put up a resistance, if only so she could pursue.

She felt strongly enough about Maxx, and about our mate connection in general, that she would not accept ‘no’ as an answer.

That happened to be the answer I was trying to give her now.

I argued internally with my wolf. “Maxx is dangerous! I know we’ve been searching for him, but I can’t handle dealing with that pack! Vampires!? There’s no way. There’s no way! I’m not going to—“

“… AJ? What are you on about?”

The blood drained from my face. It was probably hard to tell, because I was already pretty pale. But if I didn’t look like a walking corpse now, I probably never would.

Had I really said those things out loud?

“Maxx! Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to say that! I was talking to my wolf, she wants to stay, but I don’t think I can handle a cult right now not to mention that you’re really cute and I’m not used to getting close to people and—“

I was brought out of my rambling panic when Maxx gripped me by the shoulders. His hands felt rough to me, strong. If this were a high-stakes interpack meeting to establish a pack alliance, I’d have said his handshake was firm and his pack was worthy of ours.

Which is to say, his grasp on my shoulders was firm. I knew he would treat me well, and watch out for me. That he was worthy of me. I just hoped I could be worthy of him as well.

I didn’t think that I could be. My mate felt differently.

“AJ. My small white wolf. It’s okay. I’m here for you.” Maxx emphasized his words by giving me a gentle shake. As though to remind me that he was here for my physically, as well as emotionally.

What did I do to deserve a guy like this?

Then he ruined the moment by adding, “Even if you keep insulting my pack by calling it a cult.”

And here I thought all the blood had already drained from my face. I’m not sure how, but I managed to squeeze out a little more.

“I’m, uh…” Was all I could say.

Maxx came to the rescue, before I could spiral into more panic about him being so close, and tender, and affectionate as well.

“But then, you did also call me cute. I can’t be too mad about that, now can I?”

Again he gave my shoulders a gentle shake. It was just enough to let me know that he cared. But, it also let me know that he saw me. It was impossible to say how I knew it, but I did.

Even though I had barely met him, he already knew how to tell apart my panic from my calm. Maxx knew when I was overreacting, and being extreme and afraid. He also saw when I was speaking from the heart.

Even during times when I doubted what we had, I knew that Maxx never would.