I just wanted to help!

That day things changed. For better or worse, I somehow managed to make a difference to improve our lives, so I don't regret anything I did.

I can only say that when I started this, I never thought I would get this far. At first, I would just make a move, to allow us to get out of there in time.

I made my simple goal, and I started pressuring Spencer as much as I could, so he would make what I wanted without making my goal known.

I just wanted him to do research and tell me information about the people in power in that city. And I could only get a little bit of data from him, but at least I could figure something out. There was a mansion and a temple not far from the city. There lived Count Belgar with his wife and two children.

The temple wasn't a solution. If I were to go there, I would have been worshiped as a demon or burned as a witch. I didn't have another choice, but could I do something to get inside the count mansion?

So there I started my way to Belar's house. I could try to infiltrate like a maid or a man looking for work, everything would work. If I could get in there and build some kind of trust in the children of the count, then when the time comes and the war starts, they will try to get the most trustworthy people or those who couldn't fight. And so I could have the opportunity to take Mireya and Spencer with me successfully. But nothing went as I wanted.

'I tried several times to get inside that mansion, but I always had a problem that I couldn't resolve. If I think about it now, I don't believe that what I did was necessary at the end.'

First, it was the guards who changed turns every hour. There were a total of thirty-four guards who guarded the house at all sides.

Even after I managed to get in, the other problem was which of the servants would become a victim for me to take their place without being noticed. There must have been someone that the servants neglected and so they wouldn't mind her absence. And in a way, I found my target.

Someone who did its work in hidden, without someone seeing her, the same height and good camouflage. It was easy to get rid of her since she looked like she wouldn't raise any resistance. And so I started working there under her name. Isabella!

I wrote to Mireya that I started working somewhere and that I would not return home for some time so that they would not worry.

It wasn't difficult. The job I had to do was wash the clothes and clean the kitchen after everyone was done. I could see that no one questioned her absence, because her job was more solitary, also the clothes she wore made it easier for me to hide my collar and hair at the same time.

But that was not enough, the goal was for me to get closer to those aristocrats, but it was taking me a long time. The children were at the academy and the only one who was left...was the countess who stayed always at home.

It was a high risk, I had to act slowly and carefully. But I always hesitated, every time I tried to do something I stopped and wondered if it was something that I should take such a risk.

Anyway, I decided to do it. I tried to approach her day after day and one time I saw that she liked to spend the afternoon in a glass greenhouse located at the end of the garden, there she alone drank tea without a maid around, staying in the center and sitting in a glass table and chairs near a tree trunk.

I thought about the best way to impress her without being suspicious, and an idea came to my mind. A move that a maid of Nasya made in the novel, she was clumsy and apologized while crying for every mistake, so Nasya always keep them close to her and after a while, they become her trusted people.

I wanted to try this technique as well if it was that successful for every aristocrat in this world.

'I tried it, but the end was devastating. That was really the beginning of my plans downhill.'

I somehow managed to play the clumsy maid who had lost her way and I apologized several times for the inconvenience, she said it was okay and that I should go and do my work. I was not satisfied and I thought what did I do wrong. I was so focused that I didn't notice the tree and I went and collided with it.

She somehow liked what I did, I thought so because I heard her giggling from a distance, even though I was embarrassed and ran as fast as I could inside the house. My face was red, one thing was to do it on purpose and another thing was to do it without thinking.

The next day she called for me at the same time as the day before. She asked me about my name and what work I do in her house. I answered everything as if I were Isabella, so I told her name and fake information.

It seems she had gotten a liking of me and so she would like to talk more with me at the time she goes to the greenhouse. I found myself so pitiful trying to win her favor, but it was worth it. It was all I wanted so I immediately accepted and tried several times not to look overexcited.

But something didn't seem right!

Things went on for a few months, I did my job without being noticed and on the other hand, I was pleased that the countess kept talking to me.

I send letters to Mireya and Spencer whatsoever. I didn't know if Isabella had a family or not, and if I got caught sending letters to someone, they would take me as a spy. So sending letters had to be kept a secret.

I thought I had come a long way and would get what I wanted in the end if I continued like this, but I never thought that the role of Isabella would be more than a simple servant, neglected by others.

Everything was ruined when summer came and when the count's children returned from their studies from the capital. Her daughter had graduated from the academy and so the countess started planning a big banquet in her honor.

Everyone was busy with preparations, I could see the maids and butler running here and there, even though the place looked like a mess already. I could feel their fear filling the room and I like everyone else, was in this mess.

Everything was going all right until my name, in fact Isabella's, was heard. It looked like someone was looking for me outside. I didn't know this would happen, but I did as I was told. I hesitated several times, the place where I was going to meet that person was an open place. I thought about maybe a delivery, but the place was not right for that job. So who called want me, a neglected servant of all?

I arrived at the place a few minutes later. As I thought, this place wasn't meant for a secret conversation. I was looking around and couldn't find anyone. It was weird!

After standing there for a few minutes to see if someone would show up, I decided to go back inside, then I felt a tightness from behind. I froze and tried to examine the situation and then I saw two hands tied crosswise on my waist and something heavy weighing on my shoulders.

'Did someone h-h-ug me!!!'

[You are quick to understand the situation you are in, huh!]

'Shut up, I didn't expect anyone to hug me from behind like this!'

I could feel her heart beating fast and her chest tight behind my back, she moved her head closer to my ear. And then she spoke in a trembling voice.

"Isa, I missed you a lot when I was there, did you miss me too?"

'Who the hell is Isa? Why should I miss her? '

[I think she's talking about Isabella, well the real Isabella.]

What the hell will she do now, she will find out that I am not the person she is looking for and all my effort during all these months that I have tried to please the countess will go to waste.

"Isa, why aren't you saying anything? Maybe you hate me for leaving you here alone? You know I had no choice, I could not take you with me even if they let me. Please tell me something!"

Did she say something again? I couldn't hear anything, my mind is blank and my body is frozen with fear, in all my life I have never felt such fear. I was about to be found out, my whole plan to find someone who played an invisible role was a mistake, a big mistake.

"I call you here because I wanted to talk to you before the banquette starts. You are my most precious thing in this house and I couldn't go there in front of everyone before meeting you properly this time, like a real lady. Do you know why?"

'Oh no, she's still going on and on about this. I am going to cry!'

[Yeah, you are definitely screwed now.]

"Sigh, you don't want to talk to me after all that? Then please listen to me one last time."

[All right!]

'Shh! Don't talk right now, I can no longer stand this situation, she is starting to squeeze me more than before.'

"This is the place where we kissed for the first time and we promised that one day we would be together. I thought that after I finished the academy I would be a lady in everyone's eyes, but only you know what I like. Only you know that I don't like those things, and I want to be free to choose who I will marry. And she's you!"

'Excuse me, what?'

"I would like that instead of those boring lessons on how to become a lady worthy of my title, to be sword fighting just like my brother's. Why am I not free to choose?"

'I have to run, I can't stand it anymore. These are problems that don't belong to me and it's someone else who should hear these words and not me. What's worse is that I can't let her find out who I am. And even worse, what I am.'

She was simply the worst for me, but somehow I felt much worse that her feelings contained pain and they were not reaching the person that was worth hearing them.

I was stuck in the middle of her feelings that even though they wanted to let Isabella leave and continue her life as it suited to a young girl and her regret.

She didn't want her to leave, she didn't want to leave her behind and forget what she felt before. She can not decide because it is weak, or she doesn't want to find out what happens after turning that page.

'What is this feeling, this feeling that makes people so weak?'

This seems to be a girl loved by everyone and everything is offered to her, but she is not satisfied with just that, probably because she has never asked to live this way. She can have everything she wants, but she can not have this particular girl. So that's what made her like this? The feeling that she has lost and she can not have it even if she tries even harder?

I think I heard something like this before, a long time ago, but in the end, the person who was in the same situation as Isabella fell in love and accepted the other person's feelings, and they eventually prepared for marriage.

It's sad, but these two people can not go far, even if Isabella acknowledges her feelings, this is not the place and time when others can act as they please and don't mind what others say behind their back. Even if they both try to forget each other, even if they continue this, their love will end in tragedy anyway, just like...like…!

[Hey child watch out, don't get distracted!]

'Sigh! It's too late now, I don't feel like walking anymore, I'm tired.'

I felt that the moment she fell silent after all that passionate speech about her rights, the moment she removed her hands which were hugging me just as if I were a person dear to her, even when she removed the headscarf that I had in my head, I did nothing but smile at her with gratitude. Because she knew from the start that I was not Isabella!