I Won't Be Caged

There was absolute darkness with no ray of light. It was like a canvas painted in black with other colors left to the imagination of the person appraising it. The darkness was like a promise. A promise of her ineluctable doom and gloom.

Suddenly, a sliver of moonlight splashed down the darkroom as a silver-white glow painting the black canvas. The milky white light caressed her small, weak and pale figure clad in a white gown. She was sitting on the cold hard floor as she hugged her knees to her chest and buried her face between her knees.

She could hear the loud wails, shrieks, the sound of banging the door making her body tremble frightfully. She curled up her body shrinking back towards the corner in fright.

The scene changed in a second as her younger self stood at the top of the hotel trying to escape from Xu Liqing. "Today, I'll end you completely." Her voice was laced with malice making Xu Mey's tears fall uncontrollably.

Then she heard her eerie voice. "Kun Village is a beautiful place with mountainous forests and shallow lakes. You'll love it there, dear elder sister."

The whole world drowned in the chasm of endless light. She squinted her eyes trying to accustom herself to the bright light around. There she saw a handsome tall man walking towards her. Her present self was clad in a black dress while the man in front of her had a beautiful white suit with a daisy flower in his hand. His dark brown eyes were looking into her black orbs making her soul feel naked.

It was a terrifying feeling that he could read not only her mind but also her soul. She was charmed by his eyes feeling herself drown into them. Then she heard his low, husky voice that seemed to tingle her ears. "I heard it's a beautiful place with mountainous forests and shallow lakes. Would you like to visit?"

Her body started shaking fortuitously. As she looked again at his smiling face, she felt a tug at her heart. She felt like someone trying to suck her soul out of her.

She started running. Running as fast as she could. As far away as she could. She couldn't see in the bright light but it didn't matter as long as there was a way out she'll run. All she found was a tall mirror towering above her.

She turned around only to be rammed into a hard thing. She looked up to see the handsome face smiling back at her. She stepped back only to strike into the mirror. The reflection inside the mirror changed. Now, the mirror showed her young self with Xu Liqing holding onto her arm. She looked back at those charming brown eyes staring back at her.

"Kun Village is a beautiful place with mountainous forests and shallow lakes. You'll love it there, dear elder sister."

"I heard it's a beautiful place with mountainous forests and shallow lakes. Would you like to visit?"

Both voices were intermingling. Frightening her even more. Her body shook with vigor. The voices were getting louder and louder. She opened her mouth to scream but nothing came out. She shook her head repeatedly trying to shake off both the voices around her.

"I-" Her voice was hoarse and low. Barely audible. But she didn't give up. "I won't-" The constraint in her throat was making it harder for her to speak. It felt parched like she hasn't drunk a drop of water for a million years. She felt scared even more. All of a sudden, she felt something hard in her hand. Without even looking, she raised her hand banged the hard thing on her head while screaming with utmost strength. "I won't be caged!"

She felt a stream of blood trickle down her forehead. It felt warm. Then a faint voice came from far away, "Wake-" She couldn't hear it clearly. She tried to hear it again with concentration this time. "Please, wake up, Xu Mey. Don't scare me like that." The voice was brimming with fraught.

Xu Mey frowned. 'Who can be scared because of me? I clearly remember people scaring me all the time. But can my absence scare anyone?' She was confused in her own mind.

Her eyes felt like they were bearing the burden of a boulder. Her head was hurting. But the anxious voice was still there. Faint but still there. "Wake up... Wake up already..."

She tried to open her eyes slowly but closed them because of the bright light glaring at her. She tried to open them again and succeeded. She felt wet and cold. She realized her pajamas were sticking to her body because of sweat.

Cold sweat was dripping down her forehead. There was a piercing pain in her head. And there was that beautiful face filled with distraught looking at her. Seeing her opened eyes, he visibly relaxed and pulled her in his embrace.

He stroked her hair saying, "You scared me to death just now. I told you we should go to the hospital. But you really don't like listening to me."

Xu Mey's mind was muddled. "Do you also think, I'm crazy?" Her voice was still hoarse. Ye Jie pulled her body out of his embrace to look at her pale face dripping with cold sweat. Her body was still trembling. Her next words broke everything inside Ye Jie. "Are you gonna cage me as well?" Her eyes were filled with tears but she was holding on to it. Not letting a single tear escape.

"I only want to cage you in my heart, silly... But I want you to cage me in your life..." He replied while cleaning her face with a towel as a solitary tear trickled down her face. He passed her a glass of water.

She took a sip to ease up her parched stinging throat. She held the glass in her hand while her thumb was drawing circles on it. "I'm not good enough for you, right?"

Ye Jie pulled her into his warm and cozy embrace once again. "I suddenly realized, it's me who's not good enough for you." He replied as he buried his face in the crook of her neck.

His warm breath tickled her softly. But his scent and warm embrace made her muddled mind to clear up. That's when her eyes fell on his left hand. It was bleeding profusely. She saw the glass shards strewn on her bedside.

She pushed his body lightly saying, "What happened to your hand? How did it get injured?" She was totally alarmed now. With all her focus on his bleeding hand as she took it in her own. But seeing the light grazes on her own hand with a tiny glass shard stuck in one of them. She caught the whole picture. "I did it."

"No... You didn't do anything." Ye Jie tried to explain but Xu Mey wasn't listening.

"It's not the first time. It must be me. It has to be." She looked at his eyes and asked, "How?"

Ye Jie sighed finding no way out. "I think you're having a nightmare. I woke up. I saw you holding onto that glass in your hand and you're about to hit your head. So, I placed my hand between the glass and your forehead."

She didn't know how to react. Whether to be happy that he saved her or to yell at him for hurting himself in the process. In the end, she chose to stay quiet. She pulled out the medicine box from her side table and helped him with his wound. Her own were not worthy of mentioning but on Ye Jie's insistence she had to apply some medicine on them.

They laid back in bed in silence. Both were wide awake. "Are you still scared?" He asked softly.

"Yes..." Xu Mey didn't lie this time surprising Ye Jie.

He pulled her body towards himself and let her use his arm as a pillow. "I'm here. You don't have to be scared anymore. I'll make all the nightmares go away." His words would have been absurd to her under usual circumstances but at this time, they worked like magic.

His soothing voice, with his soft spearmint breath along with his warm body that perfectly fit her small one, worked like charm as she slowly fell into a deep slumber.

We can run from reality because our nightmares are enough to haunt us. But to escape nightmares, we can only live them over and over again. Until someone helps us in embracing reality.