Fear

I felt frozen at that moment.

My legs quivered, and I felt my strength ebbing away, tears flowing in sync.

Was I too late? Is my mother gone?

A heart-wrenching sob escaped my lips as I rushed to the bed, running my hand over the crumpled sheets. They were cold, colder than the chill that shot through my spine.

"Honey… Is that you?" A soft whisper broke through my thoughts. I jumped in response and ran to where the voice came from.

I found mom seated on the single sofa at the far corner of the room, her frail form leaning on the pillow behind her back.

"Mom!" I sobbed and wrapped her thin frame into my arms, feeling the comforting warmth of her body against my cold palms.

I nearly fainted from fear, imagining that she had succumbed to her battle with stage three cancer.

My father had passed away years ago from a chronic illness, and I hadn't healed from that loss. The idea of losing my mother next filled me with an overwhelming sense of fear. I didn't think I could bear it.

"I-I thought! I-I thought you—" My tears gushed forth as I knelt in front of her. I could barely breathe while I held her in my arms.

"I'm not going away, honey." She said softly as though she was able to read my thoughts. She gently brushed my hair with her thin fingers. "I will never leave you, even if I die I will always be your guardian angel." She added.

With those words, she made me cry even more. My arms tightened around her, fearing that she would disappear if I let her go.

I could handle losing my husband, but losing Mom would be like losing the air I breathe. She's the only one I have left, and losing her would be a loss from which I could never recover.

Mom held me tight as I wept. When my gaze shifted to her face, I caught the tears sparkling in her eyes but she didn't cry, she wanted me to see how strong she was in spite of her condition.

I swallowed hard and pulled myself together. I could breathe a lot more freely now that I had cried out my hurt and anger with Mom's support.

"I don't want to see you crying, Phoenix," Mom whispered gently. "It hurts me to see your beautiful eyes filled with tears. I'll let you cry today, but next time, I won't allow it."

Mom lifted my chin, ensuring that our eyes met. She gently cradled my cheeks in her hands, with a look of love shining in her eyes as she studied my face. It was as if she was trying to memorize every detail.

After a long moment of silence she finally spoke, her tone soft and comforting as she asked me the question I knew would emerge from her lips. "Did you and Ace have a fight?"

I swallowed deeply and pursed my lips into a thin line. Unwilling to answer the question, I held her wrinkled hands and wrapped them with my own. "We did not, Mom." I lied.

"Hmmm," she murmured skeptically. "You can't deceive me, Phoenix. Your eyes reveal the truth," she said, with a glimmer of understanding in her gaze.

Understanding that there was no point in hiding the truth from the woman who knew me best, I eventually revealed to her the events that unfolded at the restaurant and Ace's request for a divorce.

I waited for her to tell me I was crazy for begging my husband to stay but instead of criticizing me, my Mom looked at me with kindness and sympathy.

"You will never be happy unless you let go of the things that make you sad. While it will be difficult to move on, there's no use holding on to the love which wasn't yours anymore." Mom lifted her fingers and touched my face, that's when I realized tears were once again, drifting down my cheeks.

"I did it, Mom. I let him go because I can't hold onto something that has no chance of working out. I took a risk and it didn't turn out as I hoped, but at least I gave it a shot."

"You did the right thing honey, You're a strong woman and I'm proud of you." Mom's lips curved into a blissful smile that melted my heart. She tenderly caressed my messy hair while gently untangling the knots.

"Stop crying, you didn't lose anything tonight. Instead you regained your freedom and self-respect." She added, staring at my different coloured eyes with appreciation. My left eye was seagreen, while my right eye had the color of honey, a rare eye condition.

I got up from the floor, and gently lifted my Mom up from the sofa.

"It's late Mom, it's time for you to sleep. I'll be here to celebrate your birthday tomorrow."

She made no protests. Mom's body was so light that I had no difficulty transferring her from the sofa to the bed. It didn't take long for her to drift off to sleep.

I listened to her soft snores and watched the steady rise and fall of her chest.

"I love you." I whispered and kissed her on the cheek. My lips stretched into a smile as I heard her respond 'I love you too' in her sleep.

Sighing, I sat on the single sofa and reached for the guitar leaning against the wall. The guitar was my baby, it was a gift from Mom a year ago.

I strummed the strings, and a comforting warmth spread throughout me as I heard the magical sounds. I began to sing a soft, sad song of goodbye to the only man I ever loved, even if he wasn't here to listen.

Moments later, I fell asleep, exhausted from the day's events.

I dreamt of Ace and the life we could have had if he had loved me in return. However, my blissful dreams quickly turned into a nightmare when I was jolted awake by a frantic, loud yell.

"CODE BLUE - CODE BLUE - PATIENT ISN'T RESPONDING!"