Chapter 4: Burning Burdens

"Lady Mar—" I heard the general say, I didn't hear the rest nor did he try to stop me, neither did Rosaline, who would not want to cause a scene. And my father didn't notice at all, he seems to have disappeared into the crowd. From across the room I see Talon looking at me intently and he begins to pace towards me. As I'm halfway through one of the many corridors, I feel a warm hand catch my wrist. I look to see Talon holding onto me, his hair disheveled from running.

"Isleen, what's going on? you look shocked."

I place my hand on top of his pulling it away from my wrist. "Talon, I need to go. I'm sorry I need to hurry or else something bad will happen." I urgently say "Please don't follow me" I beg, I know if he followed me I had to reveal my powers and I'm scared to show him my true self.

"What are you talkin-" but I don't hear the rest of his words, I just yell "don't follow me" as I run from one of the corridors, into a small garden and from there on to the dusty path which led to the Han river.

I reached the banks of the Han river. My hair was wet and clung to my face, my cream-color dress stuck to my body. My eyes wondered wildly around in the water.

In the darkness, I could see the ghost-like shadow in the middle of the water moving slowly deeper.

The image horrified me.

I realized how Jiwon had died.

He had wanted to kill himself.

Without thinking, I begin running into the freezing water. I can no longer see Jiwon. I start to move the water back with my hands. The water thrashes over me, pitching the air out of my lungs.

My eyes can barely see in the darkness, I dive deeper and deeper. Whisking my hands side to side in order for it to hit flesh.

The air in my lungs is pipping out and I know I must soon break the surface.

Please, I decided to change fate then let me save him.

My hands hit a bit of warmth and I throw it again in the same direction. This time I realize it's a hand.

I grab it.

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I manage to drag Jiwon on the grass, as he throws up water.

I can feel my legs breaking under me and I collapse, feeling the warm sand beneath my hands.

The rain stopped.

I realize for the first time in my life, I changed the future, I'm not sure what's going to happen. Will the block I caused in the flow of the future, cause a different path to form? Will the time move to a different path? Will the difference become bigger?

I'm thrusted out of my thoughts when I feel the heavy weight of two hands pinning me to the ground.

Jiwon's face is dark and unreadable. His hair drips water onto my face.

"Why did you save me?!" he asks with urgency, I can see his silver eye is filled with hatred.

"I-I'" I mumble out.

I was too focused on saving him that I forgot he was trying so hard to die.

"I didn't ask for your saving!" he yells at me "You're a selfish hypocrite, did you think by saving me you could've gained some status at court? I've heard what they call you, a lowly mute, are you trying to buy your way through, by saving me." There's only silence, then he barks out in laughter.

His words feel like a slap to my face and it stings. I can feel my rage burning up in my head.

I push him with all my power upwards and cause him to fall.

Now I'm the person pinning him down.

"I should've just let you die." I whisper and the hot boiling tears roll down my face.

I can see them dropping onto his pale cheeks.

"A selfish hypocrite, huh?" I spit out "Do you know what my mother's dying wish was? She asked for youth. She wanted to return to before she had me and she wanted to forget about ever having me. I did the only thing I could do; I granted her a dream and she dreamed of a new life, having forgotten all about me." Saying it for the first time was as if all my scars had been opened on full display.

But I didn't care. If ripping apart the wounds I had tried to heal over the years meant he would have the will to live again, so be it.

"Maybe I was a selfish hypocrite then too, letting myself feel good that for once I wasn't a burden to her. But you don't need to create a dream for people around you to be happy" I tell him through my tears. "You can be yourself and not be disgusted by it!"

"You don't understand! They killed her and now they want me to become a murderer." He screams at me through the tears which are flowing down his pale skin.

I realize he's talking about his mother.

"Will she come back if you kill yourself? Will she forgive you for not fighting back!" I hiss at him "they want you to become a murderer? Then become the best so that you can fight!"

His eye widens at my words "Are you telling me to continue living knowing they killed the one person I loved most in the world and become a murderer!"

"No, I'm telling you to become their monster so you can eat them rather than be eaten!" I reply smoothly, my tears have stopped flowing "Get your revenge and live your life, because its worth living."

I stand and begin to walk back towards the palace, I know Rosaline wouldn't let this go easily. Jiwon was still lying on the ground, stunned.

"Its better to live than to die hoping to see sweet unrealistic dreams, if you want to die, I won't stop you" I calmly reply and wrap my wet dress around my arms.

I walk barefoot onto the road, but I can hear Jiwon's footsteps slowly pacing behind me.