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Master of paradoxical shapes

Fantasi
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You nurtured me. You healed me. I don’t know you. Yet you died for me. You saved me. Yet you broke me the most. Why do I have to carry your lifeless body? Your warmth that once saved me, has been replaced with coldness. Our beautiful memories which were once a sanctuary, only remind me of my failures now. The memories you shielded me from are haunting me more than ever. The warmth you once gave me has vanished. You are cold. You are horrible. Yet your light is more dazzling than any star in the universe. I don’t understand why I am feeling like this. I may never understand. But I will try. In this life. In the life after that. And for the eternity that will follow. I will live for you. So please let me save you. A/N: Chapters every Monday for now. Might just come faster.

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10 tagar
Chapter 1Chapter 1 - An unchanging reality.

Chapter 1 - An unchanging reality.

"Put your hand on this tray and activate them when I tell you to.", was what the white-coated man told me or something like that. Still, I followed his words and put my hand on the tray.

He seemed to be doing something else but I don't know, as my mind only remembers the present and forgets the past.

I blankly gazed at the wall before me. It was pure white with grey lines dividing the monotone space into squares.

The whole room was textured like that. I was sure, I would go insane if I was in this room too long, or maybe I already was insane.

I didn't know.

Or rather I didn't want to know.

By now I could barely remember what the white-coated man told me, or if I just hallucinated that.

I like this aspect of mine.

The past that felt like a blur was a small relief to my ever-increasing angst.

I want the memories that haunt me in my sleep to burn.

I want the flames to engulf me and give me the sweet release of death.

The darkness that everyone fears, was my greatest wish.

Please take me to see my family.

Release me from this torturous life.

I wanted to be angry, but no matter what I didn't feel any anger.

I wanted to cry, but I shed no tears.

Only the cold angst was my friend. Coming with me wherever I go.

So where the eyes of pity everyone cast to me.

I don't remember when, or I once remembered. But it seems like the white-coated man gave me the signal and I activated my power. 

Right now my power was stopping and a wave of exhaustion washed over me.

I craved to close my eyes and sleep, but the darkness reminded me of that day.

The day that flames ripped my family away from me.

The mouth of the white man opened and a number that sounded like a curse to me came out of his mouth. 

30 minutes.

For 3 years, it has always been 30 minutes.

No matter what I did the numbers didn't increase.

  No matter what materials my family gave me it didn't increase.

This number branded me as a failure.

It gave me the second feeling that always accompanied me, or to be more precise not having a certain feeling.

A feeling of worth.

I am worth nothing. Useless. Waste. I am a broken toy sitting in the corner of the room collecting dust.

I am a failure, through and through.

Regardless of that, my eyes shone with the same light or rather darkness from before. The light had already been taken from me long before.

I moved out of the room, there was no more reason for me to be there.

The pure white door reflected my face, haggard.

I ripped open the door wanting to forget what I saw. I stepped out and a voice instantly woke me up from my stupor. "Young master, do you wish for me to bring you somewhere else?"

It was my driver. She wore the same butler clothes with a drivers-cap.

I shook my head. She understood.

"Okay, then we will directly drive home. Your mother and father would surely appreciate your early arrival."

I nodded, my face unchanged. But innerly I mocked.

Home?

Father?

Mother?

My family died 3 years ago and with them, my home disappeared too.

These people calling themself my family, are imposters, saying we are family without actually meaning it.

"Young master we have arrived"

I already knew. My gaze lingered on the mansion in the distance that was getting bigger and bigger.

While I call it a mansion, it probably wasn't big enough to be called that. It was only called a mansion because it looked so much like a castle.

It was a present for my adoptive parents' wedding.

I heard it was given because my parents' love was like a fairytale.

I can see why, their relationship is great. Even after years of being together, they still behave like a couple that is in their honey phase.

The moment I stepped out of the car, a tasteful smell invaded my nose.

It was a smell that instantly drew me to open the door.

I navigated through the house and arrived near the kitchen, there I saw my two adoptive parents cooking.

Noticing me, my father greeted me, "Ohh, hey Sirius."

My mother chimed in, "Hey sweety, food will be ready in a few minutes."

I nodded and greeted back, my eyes drawn towards the boiling pots, "Hey."

It wasn't much of a greeting, but a greeting nonetheless.

I out of the kitchen and wandered into the living room. A big flat screen covered the entire wall. It was currently playing some nature movie.

I greeted the girl sitting on the couch, "Hey, what are you watching?"

The girl's eyes never left the screen.

"Hey bro, I'm watching a documentary of how plants evolved."

"Okay"

I sat down next to her on the couch and started watching.

Even though her eyes were filled with interest, mine were filled with boredom.

I couldn't understand how she could like something like this.

By now the smell of the food has penetrated the whole house, making even my sister tear away her eyes from the screen.

Then the words we both have been waiting for resounded.

"Come, food is ready", my Mother shouted from the kitchen.

Instantly I saw a figure jump over the couch and run towards the dining room.

I too move hurriedly towards the dining room.

When I arrived in the dining room my sister was already seated.

She looked in my direction and urged me to run.

I moved my feet wider and farther with that gaze, I almost ran.

I swiftly sat down on my seat and looked around me.

My sister has already started taking from a pot.

My parents looked proud at that action.

Not sure if they were proud of her wanting to eat their food so excited, or because she had taken so much food.

I calmly waited for my turn to take my food.

I looked at my plate and spectated the food before me.

Perfect noodles with perfect sauce.

It was only noodles but they looked and tasted heavenly. That's why this is my sister's and I's favorite food.

Contrary to my sister's devouring look from before, she was savoring every bite she took. She didn't hurry nor was she too slow, she perfected the way of savoring every bite of noodles.

I too ate.

One bite at a time, while my sister was savoring every bite, I devoured the bite as fast as possible before moving on to the next bite.

Moments like these are supposed to last forever, but of course, somebody has to ruin the fun.

"Sirius, your school will close down this year, which school do you want to go to."

I shrugged my shoulders as I still had food in my mouth.

"We found a non-mana school, but it is on another fragment."

Silence.

This statement silenced the table.

My sister with a noddle hanging out of her mouth stared at our father.

My mother just looked at me with an apologetic gaze.

This meant one thing, I had to move an unimaginable distance away from home.

Moving from one fragment to another is very heavy on the body, especially if you are a non-mana user.

They are throwing me away.

I don't feel angry at that thought.

Maybe I feel sadness or disappointment.

I don't know.

My head dropped.

I took my fork and took a bite from the noodles.

They didn't taste as good as they did before.

The rest of the dinner was silent.

A/N: I have no idea about the upload schedule for now. At the very least once per week.

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