Concerns

A warm breeze crossed over my face and I couldn't help but smile. The sun was high in the sky, beating down on me as I meditated. Bees flew around me, unbothered by my appearence in the over grown garden. The smell of different types of flowers filled my nose, casting a calm wave over me.

I sat close to the cliff edge, watching a pair of hawks glide through the air, searching for food. They seemed so elegant with the mountain behind them, so free. They where so peaceful with there wings outstretched, gliding through the air. With a shrill shriek, they tucked their wings close to their bodies as they dove for the tree line below, slowly disappearing underneath the thick foliage of the woods. I suppose they must have found a snack.

I wish I could fly. I feel like it would be freeing not to be grounded. No more worries, no more pain and suffering. Just the breeze under my wings. Travel to all sort of places and see new things. What a thrill it would be. I wish that the bonds of my life holding me here, would let me go and soar through the air. How exhilarating it must feel.

I was so lost in thought I didn't see the golden hawk perched in the tree beside me. It cawed, startling me from my deep thoughts. I giggled nervously to myself as I placed my hand on my fast beating heart. I suppose I was losing my edge lately. It wasn't everyday that I could get so easily spooked. First Drake at my door, this damn bird in the tree. I was slowly weakening, I could feel it. I stared up at it, intrigued with its unusual coloring. Sure the main color of it was gold, but there was splashes of yellow and silver in the feathers too. It was honestly mesmerizing to look at.

"Jeez, there you are! I looked for you every where this morning. You didn't show up to spar nor where you in the bath house. What the hell is going on with you? It's like you have been trying to avoid me!" Sebastion stated blandly as he plopped him himself down next to me. We dangled our feet over the edge, gazing at the view.

"Ah you know me Sebastion, I had another nightmare last night. I just wanted to clear my head." By clearing my head, I meant getting away from the tight grip of my reality that kept crawling through my mind. Getting away from the secrets that plagued me, and wanted me to break. I tossed a rock over the edge, watching as it plummeted to the tree line.

"I suppose I should do the brotherly thing and ask if you want to talk about it." I rolled my eyes laughing and pushed him off me. Even if I wanted to talk about it, what is done is done. There was nothing anyone could do about it, nor could anyone change my past. All I could do was pray that one day I would find peace in amongst the chaos that shrouded me.

"It never changes. Same old PTSD. That's all." I tossed another rock. Talking about what really occurred in those dreams was something I never wanted to discuss with him. It would wound him to know that I was keeping secrets from him. Secrets that I myself will forever want to forget, but somehow I can't shake. Sebastion grunted in disagreement.

"I think its more than that this time. You seemed pretty shaken up this morning. More than usual. It wouldn't have to do with your mission would it?" I groaned and tossed myself backwards on the ground. Of course I was stressing about it. I didn't know Drake, and I was being asked to trust him. Master can say all he wants about his 'trusted' minion, it wasn't going to change the fact he was still a stranger. I wanted to keep my distance from him as much as possible, seeing how my body always reacted around him too. Like a damn magnetic pull that I couldn't shake. What was happening to me?

"I suppose in a way it was. We have done everything together Sebastion. The death our our parents, being sold to the guild. We tended to each other wounds and fought with each other, trained together, went through pain together. So why now are we being split like this?" I stared up at the blue sky. A cloud was slowly crawling by. White, fluffy, and free.

Sebastion was silent, his lips pursed in displeasure. He didn't take the news well either. We both had been pretty moody and everyone avoided us like the plague. I know I appreciated the space for once. No questions, just peace.

"It's refreshing to see you are angry for once. You stick up for him all the time, it was kind of annoying. 'Master saved us, we shouldn't question him. Who are we to ask questions.'" Sebastion mocked me. I burst out laughing as he tried to match my tone.

"I don't sound that obnoxious." I propped myself on my elbows. Sebastion scoffed and shook his head.

"Oh please. Do you have any idea what you sound like? You sound like mom every time dad came home and you two squabbled. 'Your father works very hard for this family. Why can't you do as your told and get along.'" I sat up and punched him, giggling as he continued to mock me. We both laughed and slowly quieted. My heart throbbed. I missed them. I guess more now than ever since we had the free time to remember them. The dull aching void in my heart rose to the surface. Would it ever get easier? It's been 15 years.

"I miss them." I whispered, tears threatening to escape my eyes. Sebastion sighed heavily, wrapping his arm around my shoulder once again.

"I miss them too. Is it sad to say I can't even remember what they look like anymore?" His face was full of grief. I leaned against him, a tear escaping. I couldn't remember either. It was so long ago now.

"You aren't the only one. The only thing I can remember was the last thing I said to dad. If I would have known that was going to be our last day together...-" I trailed off. I told him I hated him. I was mad because he never let us go out to the market, or play with other kids. He just wanted us to stay safe and help groom us for farm life. He was always so stiff on the subject, so I would act out constantly, knowing it would get a rise out of him.

"Aria, dad was a tough person. I don't think it really bothered him to much. Stubborn as he was, he would always love us. Even your damn hot temper." He ruffled my hair and I pushed him away angrily fixing the lose strands.

"And this whole thing with Drake, I don't peg him as someone to go out of his way to hurt you. If he honestly wanted to, I think he would have. You gave him plenty of chances before." I suppose he had a point. As many times we had been naked in the same room, or even alone he never once tried laying hands on me in a aggressive way. But some people could wait. Some had endless patience.

"I suppose that's true. Maybe I'm just over thinking it." I muttered, puling my knees to my chest. I hugged my legs to my body tightly.

"Besides, you might be too manly for his tastes. You can punch as hard as any man, you don't ever wear a shirt, and honestly, you are super small. He might like more meat on his bones." I groaned horrified of his scathing review. I hated him so much sometimes. Why did he have to take my insecurities and turn them on me. I wasn't like overly gorgeous, but I wasn't bad. Sure I was slim, but I had muscles and curves to make up for it. I was a little below average on height. In fact Sebastion stood a foot and a half taller than I did. He always use to pick on me for it.

"You forget this tiny person, not only kicked your ass for the general position, but also trained you." I muttered to him.

"See, what are you so worried about? He lays a finger on you, just break him!" I know he was trying to boost my spirits, but deep down he was still very upset. I chuckled at his enthusiasm and shook my head. He could be such a dork. Something that never changed from childhood.

"If these nightmares keep up, I might not even be able to fight back any more. I can slowly feel my resolve slipping. Just the other day I had to tell Aspin to stop training so I could recollect myself. I can feel myself wearing thin." I muttered. I looked up to the tree, wondering if the bird was still there. He was, and he was quiet. His head was cocked in our direction. Was it listening? No, birds don't understand us. That's ridiculous. Birds didn't have the intelligent capacity to actually understand anything other than survival.

"Maybe we should go see Lola. She is an herbalist, she might even have a remedy." He offered and I shook my head at him. That was the last thing I needed was someone else knowing my business.

"Like hell. The less these people know about us, the better Sebastion. You know this. We can't risk anyone giving us the short hand in the long run." He gave a long sigh and went quiet, scanning the scenery. It wasn't until he looked up into the tree that he paused, eyes narrowing.

"What a weird bird." His voice was low, talking to himself. I nodded in agreement. It's head was still cocked towards us, like it was straining. The eyes never blinked, black and beady looking as it watched. It was almost like there was something intelligent behind those eyes.

"Honestly it's starting to give me the creeps. Maybe we should head inside." I rose to my feet, brushing myself off. Sebastion got up as well. Casually he draped an arm around my shoulders, pushing all his weight on me. I grunted against his heavy weight, laughing as I tried to carry him.

"Damn your weak." He smirked, as I continued to struggle, my legs wobbling as he used me as a crutch through the gardens. We reached the door and he let go of me. I took one last glance at the tree, and to my surprise the bird was gone. My back rose with goose bumps. What a very strange bird. I hope I don't see it again.

What kind of hawk was it anyway. I've never even heard of a golden hawk. Maybe it wasn't a hawk. Merrick knew about birds from hunting. Maybe he would know. I would have to ask when he came back. He left for mission earlier this morning and wouldn't be back for a few days. The Henchman went with him. They said something important had arise and they needed to grab intellect. I just hope that for their sake they make it back safely.