Aria's Doubts

I waded into the pool until my chest was completely submerged. The warmth seeped into my tired and aching body, relieving the tense knots. I don't know what it was about this pool, but it always worked miracles. It was more hot than normal today as well. The steam was more thick and dense. I didn't really mind because I was alone, and that meant I didn't need to hide behind a towel. With a bar of soap in my hands, I worked diligently to wash off the dirt from the last two nights. Sleeping in a filthy inn, and then sleeping on the ground made me itchy and gross. But, somehow Drake made those moments better. He even admitted he liked me! How strange is that? I went from ignoring and fearing men, to somehow finding myself being courted by one.

I hadn't even the slightest idea on how to act or be in relationships. I just know I like the way Drake makes me feel, and I want to make him happy too. Maybe I would get the hang of it as time went on. I just hope I don't screw it up with my many insecurities. I hugged myself tightly. What if I couldn't do this? Could I really be loved by someone? Sebastion tolerates me because honestly we are all we have left. I have been such a burden over the years with my PTSD. That and my pride gets in the way. Could he really accept all that? When this was all over, would he still like me the same? I would still always have the urges to kill, whether it be hunting, or human. Could he handle that too? There was so much uncertainty in all of this. So many obstacles and risks. Was I really doing the right thing? A felt a towel wrap around my chest and I looked up alarmed. Drake smiled down at me as he covered my body. I sighed in relief, clutching the towel to my chest. Man my fatigue was really kicking my ass, I didn't even hear him come in.

"I thought you went to bed already. After the meeting you could barely stand." He said as he wrapped his arms around me. I couldn't keep the blush off my face as I turned away. This was weird now, the holding was becoming part of the new normal and I wasn't complaining. It was just different.

"I felt gross so I figured a bath before bed was a must." He looped a finger under my chin and lifted my face towards his. I blushed harder and he chuckled. His deep and hearty laugh filling my ears, spurring my own joy.

"So beautiful." He murmured. My heart beat rapidly in my ears. I felt hotter than the water we sat submerged in. He rubbed a gentle finger across my cheek, causing me to shiver. Smiling he let go of my chin, returning it around my hip. Sighing he dropped his chin on my head lightly, almost as if he was pouting.

"I must leave early in the morning. I will probably be gone by the time you wake, so just promise me you will stay out of trouble." I smiled at his chest. He cared so much for me. It was cute. Not that I couldn't take care of myself anyway. But the thought of him leaving so soon also made me kind of sad. I would have liked to have spent more time with him before he left, but alas it was not meant to be. I know he had something important to do, and I would not interfere.

"Of course I will. The last thing I want to do is jeopardize the mission. Although it hurts my pride for you to be doing all the work." I muttered against him. That earned another soft laugh and I smiled. Hearing it made me at ease, knowing I was the reason for his laughter and not someone else.

"Haven't you done enough already? I mean you have been doing everything your 'Master' asks of you for three years now. I think it's time you took a break. Consider your efforts appreciated." I knew he meant well, but it really didn't feel like my efforts paid off since I was the subject of the battle. I was the one that was being protected and the one that was being hunted. This time off he refers to, is meaningless. It would be more of a chore to stay out of trouble, than be the reason there is trouble.

"I won't lie and say I hate being the center of attention. All I want is yours." I yawned and felt my self weaken against him. Did I really deserve all his attention?

"Aria, I think you should go to bed." Drake murmured in my ear. But I wasn't ready to yet. It would be the last time I saw him for two days. I wanted to spend this time with him.

"Not yet. I have concerns I want to address." His hand stroked my arm gently, reassuringly.

"Go on. I'm listening." He whispered softly into my ear. I could feel the electricity run through my body at his soft warm breath. I urgently wanted him to kiss me, to make me feel secure. I wanted to forget the perils that lay ahead of us, just like he did yesterday when he kissed me.

"I have...issues, as you know. They are difficult and hard to handle. I am insecure about pretty much everything. It's been hard on Sebastion and he has been dealing with it from day one. Are you really sure you want this," I waved at myself. "In your life? Do you want to come back to something so broken and damaged that even I struggle?" He stopped stroking my arm and sighed.

"Aria, I already know how much you are struggling. You see the beauty of relationships is that you don't have to do this alone. I will be right here by your side just as you would have mine. These issues you keep talking about, they aren't going to change my mind, because you can't help what happened to you before. So don't think that because you struggle I will like you any less, because I won't. I never will. I'll only like you more everyday because you are bright and beautiful. You are full of fire and spirit. Despite everything you claim to have, you will always be a fighter through and through. And i will be there to fight with you." My eyes teared up, moved by his words. It made me feel a little less worried, knowing I had someone so devoted by my side.

His arms wrapped tighter around me, pressing myself up to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, I wouldn't let go, even if he asked me too. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. This man in a very short time became so much to me. Even more than Nicklos when he was alive. I knew it was harsh to say, but Drake made me feel different. He made me feel appreciated despite how I treat him.

"I'll fight with you too. I'll fight for you just the same. You've changed me so much in just two weeks. I really don't know how you did it, but I thank you." Our foreheads touched together. Our eyes closed as we sat in content, blissful pleasure.

"It's only because I understand some of your pain, experienced a little of what you did. I can't say I know everything, but I know enough." I gave him a small smile as we continued our embrace. I truly and deeply regarded him immensely. He knew just what to say to make it better.

Drake pulled his head away, our eyes opening. But his eyes where on my lips. Almost slits as they stayed their glued. Hunger raging in his depths. I could feel my breath catch and my heart race faster than a group of galloping horses. I watched as his head slowly lowered to mine. Now full of anticipation, I closed my eyes and leaned up to meet him. Our lips brushed softly as he melted against me.

It was so soft and warm, I moaned a little in appreciation. His lips moved gently against mine, causing little butterflies to form in my stomach. This kiss was much different than the one we shared yesterday. It was deeply passionate, filled with more need and excitement. I wrapped my arms around his neck, threading my hands into his hair. He gasped slightly, his silky black strands melting into my grasp as I slowly tugged him, pulling him closer to me. I felt his hands wrap around my legs as he lifted me up, making me straddle his body as he carried me to the edge of the pool. Never once breaking our kiss.

My ass hit the warm stone, his hands now free to run down my back as he nestled himself between my legs. I broke away from the kiss, trying to push away the fog that started to cloud my mind. I panted as he slowly pressed warm kisses down my neck, his hands pressing me firmly against his as he continued to love on me. I wanted more at the same time I wanted sleep. Such a confusing feeling. I think he sensed my hesitation to continue, because he pulled away panting as well. His chest rising and falling as he placed his forehead on to mine.

"We will continue this later. I really do think you need to sleep my dear." I heard him whisper into my ear. I yawned and nodded, to cloudy to reply. I felt him cradle me in his arms as he lifted me from the pool. I leaned against him, fighting to stay awake, but losing right before he got out the door. My dreams, just as they normally are with tea, where blank and dark. I just hoped that I could see him one more time before he left the next couple of days.