79- Ashamed

Edwardo did his very best to not run into any walls on the way to the master bedroom. Tripping over the dog was also a hazard. Somehow, he'd managed to get his precious cargo all the way to their destination unscathed. He laid Michael on the bed, breaking their mouth contact long enough to gaze lustily at the sweet treat he was about to devour.

Michael's heart was going a mile a minute! It was happening! It was finally happening! Before Edwardo could latch on to his lips again he signaled to him to wait a second, slowly removing his pants to reveal that he was wearing the entire candy cane striped getup from the photo set. Michael figured, what more could an alpha ask for?

Edwardo salivated at what lay before him. It was a fantasy cherry picked from his own wet dreams! He tried to go in for more, but Michael frustratingly made him wait again!

"Uh-Ah Papi!" Michael teased. "You wanna touch, then I need to see some skin too!"

Edwardo desperately and hastily removed his shirt, probably popping a button or two in the process. Ms. Princessa Bonita Esperanza kept jumping around the bed, which was proving distracting. But with Michael's demand met he eagerly got back to the task at hand.

Edwardo practically crashed against Michael's lips as soon as Michael gave permission. This was so exciting! And just a little scary… Michael closed his eyes, trying to be as yielding as possible. Somehow Edwardo had pinned both of his arms to the bed above his head with one hand in a grip just shy of hurting, while Edwardo's other hand was delicately tracing the lines of the harness. Essie was yipping and growling, which made for an odd counterpoint to the sloppy wet sounds of Michael and Eddie's kissing.

All of a sudden Michael was very physically flipped over, his face shoved into the mattress and hips braced against the side of the bed. This wasn't quite how he wanted to do this. Edwardo still had one of his arms pinned, though his grip was much stronger now. It hurt. Michael psyched himself up. He pushed his hips up invitingly. Once things got underway, he knew everything would start feeling good! There was the sound of a zipper. Not too much longer now! Edwardo's grip suddenly loosened, and Michael could tell he'd backed off. Why? They were just getting started!

Michael turned on his side and spared a moment to rub his sore wrist. This wasn't going anything like he'd imagined it would, not that he was ready to give up. He turned again so he was laying on his back, and tried to make the most seductive pose he could manage.

"You have to be gentle, Papi…" Michael cooed. "It's my first time, you know…"

Edwardo sat on the edge of the bed and buried his head in his hands. "I can't do this."

Michael pouted. That wasn't the reaction he wanted at all. He sat up and caressed Edwardo's shoulders. Essie had calmed down and was whining, resting her head against Michael's knees.

"You've got nothing to worry about." Michael assured. "Let's try again. Maybe start off a little slower this time? You can let me take the lead. I've got great riding muscles!"

"No, I can't do this." Edwardo repeated firmly.

"Well why not?" Michael tried not to sound disappointed, even though he was. "Does it still bug you that I'm a man? Being an omega makes me the same as a woman on the inside, you know."

Edwardo used what he thought was a good excuse. "That's not the issue. I don't have any condoms. What if you get pregnant?"

Michael wasn't letting him get away that easily. "I'm on birth control for my skin. You don't have to worry about me getting pregnant."

Michael started planting a few nibbling kisses on Edwardo's shoulder, hoping to get the mood back up again. It was easy to see that Edwardo was still turned on by the way his underwear was bulging out of his unzipped pants. They've gotten this far, why was he resisting so hard?

Edwardo stood up suddenly, shouting, "I can't do this! I can't have sex with you!"

"Why?" Michael shouted back.

Michael wasn't sure what he expected as an answer. If Edwardo claimed he couldn't get it up that would be an obvious lie. Whatever was going on wasn't a matter of being turned on or not. The only thing he could think of was that he might have pushed Edwardo's boundaries too fast again. But things were moving so slow! What happened to all that instant-attraction instant-sex stuff he'd read about in practically every alpha-omega story ever?

"What if I hurt you?" Edwardo asked, running his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Aww Papi, I told you. You just gotta be gentle," Michael soothed.

Edwardo really wanted Michael to stop calling him that. It was making resisting the situation all that much more difficult. He figured the truth was the only thing that was going to get him out of this.

"I haven't even told my family about you. Or, not completely. They think I'm dating a woman. My father's a well-respected politician and my brother is just getting started in his political career. What's going to happen to them when it gets out that I'm dating another man? What if it affects their careers because of my indiscretion?"

Which was absolutely his main concern, because if things went any further that little place inside of him that doubted his affections would cease to exist. The world was not a kind place. There were groups out there that looked down on homosexual relationships. He was pretty sure he loved Michael, so much so that he wanted to shout it from the rooftop. But if there was even the slightest possibility this relationship would harm what his family worked so hard to achieve, was it worth it?

Even so, more than anything else right now, all Edwardo wanted was to tumble Michael into his mattress, to hear Michael's cute voice as he gets plowed into, to see if Michael's nose crinkles when he cums the same way it does when he laughs, to fall asleep with Michael in his arms and the smell of their intermingled sweat everywhere but-

"So you… lied about me to your own family?" Michael's voice betrayed his hurt. "You're not… ashamed… to be with me, are you?"

"What? No, well- yes, but- wait-!"

So that's how it was, Michael thought. The way Edwardo was always so awkward around him… If Edwardo had said anything sooner they could have avoided things getting this far. Michael hopped off the bed to retrieve his pants and put them back on.

"Michael, wait! Please-"

"You know what, no." Michael deadpanned. "This is my fault. I knew from day one it bothered you that I was a guy and I forced myself on you anyway." As he left the bedroom and started walking down the hallway to go get his shirt he called out, "Thanks for humoring me, I guess. Sorry for wasting your time. And your and money."

Edwardo was so confused. What was going on? Beside him, Essie cried softly before running after Michael. That's what he was supposed to do! He had to go after Michael and try and explain himself! He ran down the hallway, getting to the main room just in time to see Michael had already gotten his shirt back on and was looking at his phone. Before he could even open his mouth to defend himself, Michael cut him off.

"I'll call a ride service. You're flying out for your family vacation tomorrow, right? Have fun."

Edwardo stood dumbfounded as he watched Michael put on his coat and shoes. Essie was crying loudly, trying to herd Michael away from the door. It finally clicked. Michael was leaving! He'd upset Michael so badly he was actually leaving!

No!

By the time Edwardo had reached him, Michael already had the front door slightly open. The frigid night air that blew in would have been painful against Edwardo's bare skin under ordinary circumstances, but he couldn't even feel it right now. He had to stop Michael from leaving! He pulled Michael away from the door, cradled him tight to his chest, and leaned in for a kiss…

SMACK!

Edwardo let Michael go in surprise. Essie started barking. Did Michael just… slap him? His cheek tingled painfully. He looked down at Michael in disbelief. Knitted brows, quivering lip, hard angry eyes sparkling with the tears he must have been fighting…

"I'll wait for the ride service outside," Michael said bitterly, throwing open the door to let the cold come in full- blast.

"But… it's snowing…"

"No shit, Mr. Weatherman."

"At least let me give you a ride home," Edwardo tried to reason. "It's not safe for omegas to be out by themselves right now."

" JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Michael left, slamming the door loudly in Edwardo's face.

He fucked up. Even if he wasn't sure how, Edwardo knew he'd fucked up. He ran to go get his shirt back on. He couldn't leave things like this.

--------------------

Michael changed the pickup location to the front of the neighborhood and started walking. This whole time he knew he'd been deluding himself. The way Edwardo had held him at arm's length from day one, Michael knew he himself was at fault in this too. If he hadn't had been so desperate, things would have never come to this. What was he even hoping to get out of this relationship, anyway?

The snow started coming down a little heavier. He gave a brief thought to how much warmer that new coat Edwardo had gotten him would be than the one he was currently wearing, when his feet slipped out from under him on a patch of ice on the sidewalk.

He saw stars briefly as the back of his head met the frozen concrete. He curled up, hissing with the pain, though after a gentle inspection found himself to not be bleeding. He contemplated just lying there, letting the snow slowly cover him up. Wouldn't that make a scandalous headline? Omega found frozen in high-end neighborhood after lovers' spat. Worst part was, he'd managed to get snow up the back of his coat.

With a groan he got up and brushed himself off, proceeding with a lot more caution.

He kept a watchful eye on his thankfully not broken phone screen, tracking the progress of his assigned ride share as he got closer to the neighborhood entrance. Hopefully he wouldn't have to wait long. And hopefully whatever car came to pick him up had a good working heater. With only a few more minutes to go, a familiar sports car pulled up beside him, which was definitely not the dark blue sedan he was waiting on. The window rolled down, showing Michael the driver was exactly who he thought it was.

"Michael please," Edwardo begged, "what I said didn't come out right, I'm sorry. Even if you don't want to talk, please at least let me give you a ride home?"

Michael gave him a dead-eyed stare. Between the cold, the fall, and everything else, even his emotions felt like they'd gone numb.

"Don't worry, Mr. Sanchez. I won't tell anyone we were dating. It wouldn't be good if the wrong kind of rumors got around and made trouble for your family."

"Mick, please!"

"Michael." He corrected firmly. The ride share he was waiting on finally arrived, and after confirming with the driver, he got in.

Edwardo watched heartbroken as the car drove off. He strongly debated following to make sure Michael got home safely, then realized that probably wasn't the best idea with how upset Michael was right now. With a heavy heart, he did a U-turn and drove home. He didn't even get the chance to hand off Michael's presents to him…