Chapter 9

[Madelyn]

"Where have you been?" I yelp and jerk back; my back hitting the front door. I look up at the person in front of me and feel a slight wave of relief wash over me. "Tell me where you've been." He says again and my relief is replaced with anger.

"Out." I begin taking off my shoes and push past him. I walk towards the guest bedroom to see

North-Ocean sleeping in her bed. The image makes me smile.

"Why didn't you call?" Nick says with a stern voice behind me and I quickly turn around to face him.

"Why didn't you call me?" I mock him and brush past him again; moving towards the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

"Maddie stop." I don't. I keep walking; keep ignoring him. "Maddie-" I hear him approaching me from behind. "Just tell me where the fuck you were." Nick spits and I open the cabinet to grab a glass but he closes it. Almost shutting it on my fingers.

"Hey!" I protest, turning around and my eyes grow wide. He's watching me like he's a hunter and I'm his pray. Like he actually wants to kill me. My breathing increases and he continues to stare into my eyes.

This isn't the only time we've fought. We fight a lot and it usually ends with him making out with me. Even if I'm still mad at him. Because if I keep on being mad it'll ruin his mood. Or so he says. And he'll just get mad. I'm not one to hold a grudge anyway. Not anymore at least.

"I was worried sick! You get that?" He raises his voice.

"You left first!" I raise mine even more. If he yells I'll yell louder.

"It was a selfish and reckless thing to do Maddie! You can't just leave! I love you and I care about you! You can't just leave with no explanation!" He takes a step forward. His hands holding the counter on each side of me. My hands automatically go to his chest to push him away. But I don't push him. I just let them stay where they are.

"Can you just-!"

"No Maddie! You fucking listen! You have no right to be fucking mad at me. You have no fucking right! Okay? You can't accuse me of cheating and then leave! I didn't even cheat! Maddie I would never cheat on you! I love you! But you don't fucking love me back-"

"Stop yelling at me-"

"Shut up and let me finish!" My eyes grow even bigger. I'm not mad anymore. I'm scared. For the first time in my life I'm scared that Nick will hurt me.

"Please back away-" I try but he takes another step forward instead. Cutting the space between us even more. I begin pushing on his chest but he doesn't budge.

"I'm not some fucking pet! Don't tell me what to fucking do! I have-" he stops and laughs. Although his laugh holds no humor. "I have been patient with you- I fucking have. You know what? You should thank me! Because if I left you- you'd be nothing. You'd live on the street and beg for food. You'd probably become a prostitute to be able to feed yourself-"

"Nick-" I gasp as tears blurry my vision. He's never talked to me like this. Never. The worst part is that he isn't even drunk. I kinda wish he was. Then I'd have something to blame this behavior on. Tell myself that this is only his drunk side. But even if he was drunk; drunken minds speak sober thoughts.

"No- god damn it Madelyn. You are a fucking liar. You are only after me for my money...aren't you?" His head falls between his shoulders and I bite my quivering lip. I don't dare to speak. I don't dare to breathe. I don't move. I stay completely still.

He begins shaking his head slowly. Side to side.

I choke down a sob to prevent it from provoking him. I don't know what will set him off. I don't know anything about him. I don't recognize him anymore.

"Maddie-"

"I don't even know who you are anymore..." I whisper quietly, cutting him off. Almost to quietly to hear. I hear his breathing hitch. He looks up at me, his sad eyes meeting mine. They are telling me so much more than words ever could. I choke down another sob and begin shaking my head this time.

"You- you scare me... Nickolas you scare me." I whisper again. A little bit higher this time.

"No- I-I was just worried-"

"I do love you Nick-" I inhale a deep breath and look as his eyes grow wide. "But that love grows smaller every time you yell at me- every time we fight, every time you lie-"

"Madelyn-"

"Every time I kiss you and feel the taste of another woman's lipstick." I stare at him as a tear slips from my eye. His eyes are filled with regret and his hands automatically move to cup my face. But I dodge his hands by moving my head to the side.

He looks at me with only sadness and regret. He tries to speak but nothing comes out when he opens his mouth. I have been tasting a weird flavor on his lips lately. But I never thought- I could never have guessed-

"I love you and I have loved you ever since I vowed to you, to love you forever. In sickness and health. Remember?" My voice breaks. And I wipe a tear away from my cheek with my sleeve. He doesn't speak nor does he look at me. He then moves, taking a step closer. "St-" I try to tell him off but my voice breaks again. I swallow hard.

He's so close I can feel his breathing on my hair. He doesn't say anything, he just puts his head on my shoulder and sighs. I'm speechless. He puts his hands on my hips and pulls me closer to him.

"I'm sorry." He whispers and kisses a bare spot on my shoulder. I shudder, but not because of the kiss but because of his apology. This is the fist time he's apologized...

"For what?" I whisper as my hands drop from his chest to my sides.

"Everything." He inhales my scent and begins trailing down kisses from my shoulder all the way up my neck to my jaw. He places a final kiss and then pulls away his head to look at me. "I'm sorry." He kisses my lips. "I'm sorry." He continues to leave a kiss after his apologies. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Three kisses.

Three kisses I don't want. Three kisses I do not need. Three kisses I want to wash away from my lips. But I don't tell him that. I just smile and hug him back.

"I'm sorry and I love you and I shouldn't have yelled like that. I will make it up to you. I promise to never do that again." He hugs me tightly. I just mush my face into his chest and cry. How many times has he promised me this?

"It's okay." I whisper. It's not. "But I have to know her name."