A new chapter

"What did I tell you? Huh?" The woman screamed at the ten year old child before her. "I said no TV, no leaving your room! Ever! So why are you out here?"

"Uh... mother...

"Shut up! Shut the hell up! Deepen your voice whenever you speak to me. Boys don't have light voices." She took heavy breaths to calm herself before continuing. "You know the punishment for disobeying me, right?"

The child nodded. "Fifty push-ups...

"Nuh uh! You broke two rules. So?"

"One hundred push-ups."

"Good! Now get down and give me hundred!"

The child immediately got down and began doing the push-ups. She began counting loudly and as she did that, a stole of the whip lands on her back.

"Now repeat what I say. I am a boy not a girl! A boy not a girl! A boy not a girl! A boy not a girl! A boy not a girl!"

The child repeated the sentence and each time the whip landed the child's cheeks would turn red. "I am a boy not a girl." She said with Shakey voice.

"No crying! Unless you want me to punish you again!"

"Yes, mother."

She was starting to feel weak, her hands were giving out from the strain. She fell flat on her stomach.

"BLOODY GET UP!" Her mother yelled.

Kimberly awoke with a start and saw her uncle looking at her.

"Another nightmare?" He asked with a concerned look on his face.

"Yeah!....another one..." She said wiping the sweat of her face. "I thought once they died, it'll all go away...I... I thought I'd finally be able to sleep without having the light on...and, I thought I'd be able to hear myself breathe again."

Uncle Davian placed his hand on her shoulder. "Kimberly...you are still holding on to what happened in the past. That is why it still haunts you. I mean, they've been dead for three months and you still haven't gone out. You've remained locked In like you used to be when they were alive."

"It's been twenty years uncle. Twenty while years of being locked up. How do you expect me to start living a whole new life aside from that?"

"You have to child. The life you lived when they were alive was that if a prisoner and it wasn't the right kind of living. Get up, go out and see the world for what it is. Not what you've been told it is."

"It's going to be hard uncle."

"I know but you have to do it for yourself. They aren't here anymore and they can't guide you to do anything. Take the responsibility on yourself and go live your life. It'll be harder than you think but I promise you it'll be worth it."

"Where do I start from? I can't go back to my old life, Uncle...Uncle...Uncle..."

"First off, that is not who you are. You are Kimberly and you can make anything happen." He placed his hands on her shoulders, "follow your heart. It will never lead you wrong."

"I don't know what I'm going to do." She said with a gentle voice.

"Follow your heart. It will never lead you wrong." He said again with a comforting smile. "You have five years to live right, discover yourself, learn about this strange world, find out your love and live your life to the fullest."

"Uncle..." She said with a worried face.

"I'll hold down the company till you are ready, I promise." He said with a kind look on his face.

"Thank you uncle. I really mean it."

"Okay then. I'll go get you a fresh pair of clothes." He said and got up.

* * * *

Kimberly Adams stood by the old oak tree, watching the procession of Mr and Mrs Adams, her parents.

She told there, expressionless. it if you got closer, you could see the confusion all over her face as she watched people come and go.

A tap on the shoulder brought her out of her head. She turned to see that it was Davian.

When he saw the look on her face, he sighed heavily. "I know child....

"No uncle. you don't know. Is this what I have to live through? on my own? I'd rather go back to being locked up."

"Don't say that....

"Don't say...uncle look around and then look at me. What am I? A boy or a girl?"

"You are a girl....

"I sure don't sound or look like one." She scratched her head in frustration. "The other girls aren't as muscular as I am, they don't have short hair and they definitely do not sound as deep as I sound. See how they are dressed, look how I am dressed....

"calm down Kim...

"I can't be calm uncle. I just can't. For twenty years I've been told that I was a boy, I've been taught to talk as deep as a boy should, I've been taught to dress like them, I've been taught to act like them and to act with confidence and I am certain other boys to bleed every month like I do. I've only ever known myself as a boy. I know nothing about how it is to be a woman, I'd rather return to being locked up."

"NO! YOU WON'T." Davian yelled. He sighed again. "I thought you had always wanted to know how it felt to be outside, wanted to be out of their control. If you go back to being locked up, then you are letting them control you even in their death throes. I want you to know what it feels like to be free."

Kimberly didn't answer him. She looked around at the sea of people. She didn't want to see anymore. She didn't want to see any more people.

"I won't be able to do this uncle." Kim said, tears forming in her eyes. "Where do I start from?"

"It's not your fault. You've been through more in your young life than I can imagine." Davian's face softened as he looked into his niece's eyes. "Kim, I'll explain everything. We'll figure it out together. You know I'll always be here when you need me."

He put his hand in his pocket and handed her a black card. She put it in her pocket.

"Take this Kim...

"What is it?"

"I know it doesn't make up for the death of your parents or the fact that you don't know what it is to be a woman, but at least you will have peace of mind knowing that you've got help. Just in case. There's a lot of money in there and....

Kimberly shook her head. "I want nothing to do with my parents anymore....

"No! No! No! This isn't your parents. It's from me. I knew a day like this would come and I've been saving up for it for some time. I have money for you to use for groceries, rent a room, anything. Just, please, take it."

Kimberly sighed with gratitude. She looked at the man she never really knew. Davian had saved her from the raging sea of hate. She put her hand in her pocket. She felt the card. "I'll take it...for now."

And so her journey to self discovery started. It was a difficult journey but one that would change her forever.