A fresh start
Kimberly looked down at the gravestones of her parents, without an expression in her face; that's what she has been taught, Men don't show emotions but deep within her, there was a turmoil.
She did not know what to say to them. She hated them for what they had done to her, she was angry, but she also felt a sense of loss; they were her parents after all.
She opened her mouth to say something but shut it again. They didn't deserve her sympathy, they did not deserve her tears, they didn't deserve any form of affection from her that isn't hate and anger. She closed her eyes, and just let her mind drift off, she didn't know why, but at that moment, she didn't care, she just wanted it to be over. She felt her heart beat with the thought of living, she could live to make them suffer, make them hurt like they had made her suffer, but then she could be happy, her life was still intact.
She wanted to hurt them back but what could hurt the dead? Maybe is she lived as a woman and not as a man like they wanted, maybe that would make them angry?
Her mind drifted off once more, she felt as if there was a million chains wrapped around her, she felt the presence of her soul being pulled apart, like it was being torn apart from inside.
She had never felt this confused in her life. Yes, living in the opposite of what they wanted was the best way to hurt them and make them turn in their graves but how was she going to do it? All her life all she ever did was live like a man. She didn't know the least thing about being a woman. How was she to start? Where would she begin? Would she be able to undo those things that has been done to her?
She felt the urge to cry but she suddenly remembered her mother's voice. "No crying Kim! If you do, I'll double your punishment!" That was the only thing she could remember her mother ever saying. She stood still and did not move for a long time. She almost died inside but she decided not to cry. Tears would only make her suffer more.
Kimberly let out a long and painful sigh, thinking about how she had been living her life was making her sick. For the first time in her life, she felt a strange emptiness. All her life had been a lie from day one and she had only five years to correct it.
How was she going to be a woman without going through puberty? How was she going to find the right hormones? She could not find anything on the Internet about transitioning. She could not even think straight.
"You are Kimberly and you can make anything happen." He placed his hands on her shoulders, "follow your heart. It will never lead you wrong."
"Kim, I'll explain everything. We'll figure it out together. You know I'll always be here when you need me."
Her uncle's words rang in her head. At the end she just walked away without saying anything.
* * * *
She didn't Know how long but Kimberly had been walking for hours and had not had a meal or a drink, she had lost track of time.
It was the first time she had been out in the world and everything she saw fascinated her. She was a part of nature and the whole place was so alive, it was magical.
She had never felt that much freedom in her entire life and it made her happy. She walked around the place, stopping every spot she thought was interesting and she would try to take photos, but it was a struggle, her hands were shaking with the force of fear.
She had not been out in the world alone since she was a child and she was scared but at the same time, it was exhilarating. She wanted to explore every bit of her new world.
She stopped at a place where she saw kids playing. She had seen it in a picture once. Davian had told her it was an amusement park. She went there. She had been out of food for almost 24 hours but the place had looked so nice that she couldn't stop herself.
She sat on the bench next to the lake and watched the kids playing.
The hatred she had for her parents grew when she saw how the parents played with the kids.
Her parents never played with her. All they did was beat her, feed her, make her read books upon books, do exercises so she's develop muscles, but in her head, all she could see were her parents face. They wanted to make her into someone else. And to someone else, she would do anything to please them.
"Uncle?" A tiny voice called out to him bringing him back to reality.
It was a small kid who had fallen to the ground.
"Can you help me untie my shoe laces, they seemed to be Tangled" He asked him. Kimberly smiled to the boy who was half his age, "sure kid, lets get you untied then"
He helped the kid get up and untied the laces.
"Thank you Uncle." He said and ran off. It was then that she realized the kid had called her uncle.
She needed to change her appearance if she wanted to change anything about her.
She took the card her uncle gave her, made a withdrawal and went Into a ladies department store.
"This store is for ladies." The receptionist said stopping her at the entrance.
"I know! I'm a lady." Kim said but the receptionist was not convinced and her deep Manly voice did not help matters. "You can check it you want." She said as she made to take off her clothes.
"Don't do that!" The receptionist sighed. "You can go in."
When the receptionist noticed that Kim didn't move, she asked "what?"
"I will need your help. I need a makeover? Is that what it's called?"
The receptionist eyes her from head to toe. She did not know what to make of Kim's appearance. "You're not a real woman. A real woman will have more curves, your body is lopsided."
Kim crossed her arms. "Are you going to help me or not?"
"Fine, I'll help you. You do need a serious make over but can you afford it?"
Kim rolled her eyes then showed the receptionist her card.
She gasped. "A black card? There's only five of those."
"Are you willing to help now?"
"Yes ma'am." She said with a bit more respect. "Let's start with your hair "
Kim was shocked. She had not thought about her hair since she entered the shop. "Alright" she said "I'll do it."
The young woman smiled and took Kim's hand, leading her to the shampoo.
She shampooed her hair, massaging it with a tiny brush. She then took out another brush, combing her hair into a pretty style. She then started to towel it dry.
Kim stood there with her eyes closed, letting the towel dry her.
"Ready?"
Kim opened her eyes and looked into the reflection in the mirror. She didn't really care for her hair but it looked good. "I'll do it."
She decided. The young lady with curly black hair smiled at the mirror.
"But can you make it as curly as your?"
"Actually…I think I can." Kim answered her.
The young woman smiled and told her to take her seat.
When the girl finished her hair, she applied some make-up and took some photos for Kim to decide if she likes it.
After she had decided that she was not displeased with her appearance, she led her to the next shop.
This one was for clothes and accessories.
As the girl showed Kim around the clothes racks, she asked her questions like "do you like this style?"
Kim's eyes lit up and she nodded enthusiastically.
Kimberly stepped out of the store looking completely different from what she used to look like.
She had to admit, it felt very uncomfortable and unnatural being a woman but nothing good comes easy so she had to give it a shot.
She took a step forward and her stomach growled reminding her that she hadn't eaten anything yet.
Kimberly immediately looked for a place to eat and went to a diner that was just a few blocks down the street.