Scared of loving you

couple months later

Amora Pov:

Everything in my life is great , billie is great . My job is doing good , it got me recognized for this modeling agency and i start in the next few months.

Destiny and I have been talking about moving closing to La to leave the past in the past. I have told billie yet cause she's been talking about us moving into her big ass house and we told her we would think about it . But she says once she goes public about me and her she will want me to be safe and she can't do that if we live separately. I love billie , i haven't told her cause i'm scared to love her with everything that has happened in my life . Sex is great , hell better than great ! it's incredible. But ... i know i know dating billie eilish shouldn't have any buts ... but i do , i'm so scared to be in love again , i'm scared i'm going get get hurt again .

BUT i love her , i love her and i'll say it 1,000 more times

thanks for listening journal:)

xoxo your fav -Amora

"BABYYYYY, get down here." I heard billie yell

I closed my journal and went down stairs where she was making food .

"You didn't have to yell." i said rollling my eyes

"Don't ." is all she said and we just ate in silence, well i did. she kept trying to talk to me but i was so lost in my thoughts i just ignored her

"AMORA !" she yelled

"What." i said

"Why you being quiet mama , what's wrong." She asked

"Nothing . i got to go take care of stuff so don't wait up." i said grabbing my keys and walking toward the door

"Uhm . where you going." she grabbed my arm and asked

"None of your business. your not my mom damn." i said pulling my arm away

"why you being so stuck up ." she said

"Be out of my house when i get back." i said walking out the door

Billies pov :

I don't even fucking do anything and she telling me to get out. like tf i am - i'm billie mf eilish , no one tells me wtf to do.

"Billie....Billie....hello." destiny said waving her hand in my face

"What." i snapped

"What's your deal and where is amora." destiny asked

"aw yes i need a therapy session." i said pulling out my phone and sending her $1,000 cause shit fina get deep

"What's this for?" destiny asked showing me the money i just sent her

"Cause you my therapist and we need a session now . so listen , Amora has been distance lately and i've been giving her space. She's been in her room all down writing in her journal and i know she going through shit and being in a new relationship is hard , but i'm in a relationship and even in a same sex relationship when no one knows cause they don't know my sexuality. And instead of talking she's pushing me away . We don't kiss anymore , she don't wanna me cuddling her , she don't even call me baby anymore and then she just told me to make sure i'm gone before she get back . And first of all no one and i mean NO one tells billie eilish what to do ." i sad.

"Well i see , i see your fighting for this relationship to work and i know that once Amora catches feelings or is falling in love she distant herself . I can say that you fighting for her and choosing not to listen when she say leave is going to make a big difference in your relationship." she said

"Well i'll fight until she end up having me escorted out cause i love her - i oh i said that out loud ." i said looking down

"Billie IN LOVE ! omggg sorry i'm your therapist uh so igonorr the freak out . Anyways you have to tell her how you feel , maybe she feels the same way but pushes you away because she's scared to love someone first . hell tell her tonight . " she said

"okay but i need your help i want to put roses and candles leading up the the bedroom , i want to go out and get her some gifts cause i haven't been able to spoil her but if i'm telling her i love her i want to go all out . i need you to give her a list of errands so she doesn't come home early . so i'll go to the store and can you set up roses and candles . on the bed i want the roses shape into a heart and then i'll put her gifts on the bed and pictures of us on balloons." i said getting up

"Yes i got you , now go ." she said pushing me out the door .

I rushed in ever store that i went into but there was one store that i took the longest in cause i wanted it to be perfect . i got her a whole lot of things and i was excited to go back to the house and finish setting up .

Once i walked into the door i was in shock destiny did a damn good job getting everything set up . i ran up to the room and she was adding the finishing touches to the bed as i put all the presets on the bed .

and i got something else but i'm not showing anyone right now , not until my baby get home .

We finished up the room and then destiny said her location said 5 mins away so i hid in the bathroom and destiny went to the closet to record her reaction .

5 mins finally passed and then i waiting longer for her to put down the stuff she got for destiny . then i heard foot steps coming upstairs , once i heard the door open i came out the bathroom and stood there while she took everything in.

"Billie , what is this." she said with tears starting to come down

"I got all this for you to show you how much i appreciate you . There's something i need to tell you." i said coming closer

"Okay ." she said sitting down .

"Amora , i know you been through a lot and i know your scared of love and scared to fall in love or even think about letting your self be happy in a relationship. When i with you nothing else matters in this world , sometimes i forget that i'm billie eilish . When i'm around you i'm just billie and it feels great , i'm so scared of love and so scared to show my feelings cause i don't want the world to think ima softie but i am and that's because i'm human but being with you i'm allowing myself to feels things i've never felt before . I love you Amora and i got all this to show you how much i love you , i only want you and for the rest of my life i'm going to show you that you are all i need in life . I also got this for you , it's a promise ring . i promise to love you , i promise to love you on your bad days. on your good days and on the days you don't want to be loved . I promise one day when we are both ready i'm going to marry you . but for now do you accept my promises?" i asked pulling out the promise ring

"Oh - Oh my gosh billie this is beautiful , your speech has me speechless. I'm sorry i've been so distant . I was scared if i told you how i felt it would make you run away from me . I love you so much and yes i accept your promises . " she said in tears

"Oh my godddddddd billie , you didn't tell me you got her a ring . " destiny said coming out the closet

"What the heck , i didn't even know you was in there ." Amora said laughing

"yea , she helped me do this . well she as my therapist pushed me to tell you my feelings ." i said laughing

"I freaking love you guys . Billie i'll send you the video ... i'm going to go reminded my fiancé how much i love her . " destiny said leaving the room

"I love you baby ." Amora said

"I love you more ." i said hugging her

We sat there going through all her presents and then we ended up watching the notebook until we both fell asleep .