"Let's not make promises
You never know when tomorrow comes"
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"You totally can say some embarrassing thing, aren't you Kyle?" George surprisingly didn't take it to heart. Or maybe he was just embarrassed so he tried to change the topic, I don't know. Either way, I felt a little sad that he did not take me seriously.
"Hahaha, want to hear more embarrassing things?" I forced a smile then asked teasingly. To be honest, I was not a person who can flirt around. I was just boasting.
"Come, then. Let me hear it." George propped his chin, waiting.
I looked at George as if saying: you dared to challenge me? You can't even imagine what embarrassing words I could spout at you if I am serious enough.
I hesitated a bit. Should I just say it now? I looked at George again, his eyes sparkled with anticipation. Alright, you asked for it, George.
"I love you, George. I really do." I finally said the words that had been stuck in my throat for a while now. That was a bit too sudden and unexpected, but somehow I felt relieved after I said those words like a heavy burden lifted from my shoulder.
We gazed into each other eyes. He looked at me without blinking, as if trying to find the truth behind my words. I saw my reflection clearly reflected in his clear blue eyes. His eyes calm without so much as a ripple. His blue eyes turned one shade deeper, blue like the color on the bottom of the sea. I could not read his emotion at all, it made me quite nervous. Time seemed to walk at a snail pace, it was as if every ounce of my breath was taken from my lungs, suffocating me yet I can't do anything.
"I thought you are a shy person, I didn't know that you could be this bold and aggressive," he finally said after a while.
"I could be aggressive, I could be shy. I could do anything to obtain your love. If I didn't take the first step, when will we move forward?" I said resolutely without moving my sight from him.
George suddenly stretched out his hand to my eyes, blocking my sight. "Stop looking at me like that," he said with his husky voice. His hand was cold, but I could feel his warm breath on my face.
I took his hand away, held it in my arms and asked him, "Why can't I? I love your eyes. I love looking at you." Confession aside, I knew that I can't hide my feelings for him longer. I decided to lay all my cards in front of him. George looked at me for a while then sighed.
"Let's not fall in love. We... we don't know each other very well yet," he said with a small voice, his eyes darted around anxiously like a kid that doesn't want to get caught when they did something bad.
I was perplexed by his answer. What does it matter if we don't know each other very well yet with me loving him? "It's too late, George. Too late," I said bitterly while looking straight at him. George stopped looking around and suddenly hugged me gently.
"I'm a little scared," he whispered in my ears. I hugged him back then ask with a slightly hoarse voice, "What are you scared of?" I didn't really know where this conversation is heading to.
"I like you, I mean it," he paused slightly, "But.. we are happy as we are right now, right? Let's just stay like this." I felt like I had been struck by thunder. Is he rejecting me?
"We.. are happy, yes. But I like you more than a friend would. My feelings for you already run deep. I couldn't undo it. Is it wrong to hope for more?" I forced myself to talk then pushed him a little and looked straight into his eyes.
"Don't say that, I can't give you an answer now." He evaded my eyes. I felt a twinge of pain in my heart. It was as if my world would break any moment.
"But why... you don't think that I am enough for you?"
With a pained expression, he said to me, "I don't mean it like that. You don't think this is too fast for us? Because I do."
"Sometimes, it only took a second for love to bloom," I said calmly. Perhaps it could be counted as too fast, or perhaps it's not. It took me two days to fall for him. Like falling into a deep abyss, I kept falling deeper and deeper I could not see the surface anymore.
"I.. might not be a person you thought me as. You act like this making me really nervous. Your love is too much pressure on me. I'm also scared if I get attached to you, I'll get sad if your smile turns into tears one day," he said with a quivering voice. Various kinds of emotion flickered on his face.
I saw him acting like this for the first time. I didn't know that he was such a worrywart. It's true that I had been watching his bright and cheerful side all this time. I knew that nobody would be so perfect they are without flaw, but this side of him was truly unexpected.
"Don't expect too much from me. Before things get too deep, before you get hurt. Don't trust me too much," he leaned his body and whispered in my ears.
I truly can't describe the complex emotion swirling in my heart right now. Deep inside, I felt a little happy I could see this side, but also kind of sad and angry. Maybe I was really expecting too much from him. Maybe I was too confident in myself. Maybe I didn't really know him that well. Maybe I was too rash and hasty in my decision. Maybe this love was wrong in the first place.
Without me realizing it, a trail of tears ran down on my face. George embraced me and let the torrent of my tears to soak through his shirt. I clenched my fists, not knowing whether to be sad or mad or to just give up. I just wept there silently.
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Author's Side Note :
I checked previous chapters and OMG the grammar!!! I am ashamed, but I tried to fix it.
Also, can you believe that I wrote a new novel when I got stuck with this one????? Like, I really need a Flash of Inspiration Gu *you got it fam, I love Fang Yuan* so I could update this one faster XD