WE ATE AN EARLY BREAKFAST, double-checked everyone's bags, and
closed up the cave. I made a stone door with Earth Magic. It looked like the
kind of door that the Cave King would come out of if there was a big
banquet or something.
"All right," I said. "Shall we set off downriver? Are we off to find the
town? Off to hunt some nerds?"
"We're not hunting them!"
With that, we started to march along the riverbank. As expected,
there weren't any monsters near the river.
The Class Rep tugged at my shirt. "Haruka-kun, can I have a word
with you?"
"Sure. Do you want to talk while I scout ahead?"
We went ahead, ready to intercept approaching monsters. I didn't
skewer any of them, so I figured no one would get mad at me this time.
The Class Rep paused. "So…"
"Is it about the meatheads?"
"Uh, yeah. So, you met them, right?"
"Oh right, I forgot to mention. They said they're sorry."
"Huh? They apologized?" She looked flustered. "Look, um, I'm…so
sorry." She bowed forcefully. If she had been any closer she would've
knocked me over with her head.
"I've wanted to tell you for a while…but I couldn't bring myself to
do it. My skill…"
"Hey, don't worry about it!" I interrupted. "I know what it is."
Her jaw dropped. Um, it's pretty obvious, isn't it? Why so surprised?
"W-wait a second. Since when? How do you know?"
"Doesn't everyone know? Well, maybe not the meatheads or the
goblins. They're too stupid to figure it out."
Well, to be precise, the goblins might know but no one's asked. I
guess I'll keep it a secret for now.
"If it was a secret, you should've said so," I said. "We'd all be in
trouble if I accidentally talked about something that's supposed to be a
secret! Oh, but I didn't tell the meatheads, I promise—"
"But how did you know?! Nerd A promised me that he wouldn't tell
anyone!"
Hijack—the skill that let someone steal skills from others. It was
probably the strongest, most dangerous skill in the world. If you had it, it
was an unbeatable cheat code—and if you didn't, it was an unstoppable
menace. Someone with Hijack could steal any skills just by being near their
target. The skill-thief would get more dangerous with every skill they stole.
And in typical light novels and games, a skill like Hijack only worked if the
target was killed.
Someone targeted by Hijack didn't just risk losing their skill, they
risked losing their life. The existence of that skill threatened to turn any
interaction into a kill-or-be-killed survival game.
It was a taboo skill. You couldn't tell anyone you had it, and if you
did, they'd avoid you like the plague. Or maybe try to kill you.
"If you knew that I had this skill, why did you rescue me? Aren't you
worried? You should want to avoid me, despise me, or abandon me. I
mean…I steal other people's skills…"
"Huh? Why? Were the nerds scared of you? Why would I be scared?"
"B-but, I might steal your skills at any moment."
"Why would I worry about that?"
"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry." The Class Rep looked away, down at the
ground.
In what world would anyone try to steal Loner, NEET, Shut-In,
Blockhead, Master of None, or Corporate Proactiveness? If you want them,
they're all yours!
If she did use Hijack on me, she'd only screw herself over.
Class Rep bit her lip. "Look, I feel terrible about having this skill.
But…what happens if the others find out?"
"The nerds weren't scared of you, right? That's what I'm saying!"
Why is she so upset? I thought. What's the issue?
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't you get it? Everyone is relieved that you're the one who has
that skill!"
"Huh?!"
"Everyone was freaking out over who had Puppetry, Mesmerize, and
Hijack! After Puppetry and Mesmerize were sealed, everyone was relieved.
But no one's worried about sealing Hijack, right?"
"What are you saying?"
"Even the idiot meatheads were afraid of those skills; you think the
others weren't, too? But everybody thinks there's no problem anymore, so
there's no problem. I figured it out without the nerds telling me, so
everyone else has probably figured it out, too. No one's panicking, right?
So, what's the problem?"
I knew all along that the nerds didn't have Hijack. They were
surrounded by goblins when I ran into them, which meant that they didn't
have Presence Detection. Goblins had that skill, so someone with Hijack
would have naturally stolen it from them. That was proof enough that the
nerds didn't have it.
More importantly, the nerds weren't worried about it, even though
they knew all about how dangerous it was. If they were concerned, they
would have tried to figure out who got Hijack, or at least warned me about
it.
Yet, the nerds, who had been outrageously mistreated back in school,
trusted whoever had Hijack—which guaranteed that there was definitely
nothing to worry about!
That was a lifetime warranty for total peace of mind. Not just issued
by anyone—that was a Nerd-Approved Warranty. Stricter standards simply
did not exist.
"Class Rep, have you been crying a lot lately?"
"Crying? That's because of you!"
"I'm innocent! I didn't do anything!"
"That's not true. You've done so much. Thank you…"
Were we speaking the same language here? I made her cry and she's
thankful? What did I do?
Let's see…I haven't tried to hook up with her or anything. I didn't
have the guts to pull anything like that, but if I did, I'd totally deserve a title
like Hero for my recklessness. I couldn't imagine what would happen to me
if I did, though. Terrifying high school girl boss rush? I'd surrender before
the fighting even starts!
"B-but how did you convince those guys that everything was okay
without revealing my secret?"
"The idiots? I just told them that things are fine and they were like,
'cool story bro!' They're total idiots, y'know?"
"What do you mean, 'fine'?!"
"Well, it's not like I could've convinced them with logic…you know,
because they're morons?"
"That doesn't explain anything! You're acting like they're completely
brainless! You can be so casually cruel sometimes. This is important, so
please take it seriously!"
It looked like Class Rep had finally reached her wit's end.
"You told me to stop calling the nerds 'nerds,' but you just called one
of them 'Nerd A' a minute ago," I said.
"I did?! Agh, please forgive me, Oda-kun, I've been brainwashed!"
Hey, I deny all accusations of brainwashing! If I had that skill I'd be
doing a hell of a lot better.
"In order to use Hijack, I need to kill the target," the Class Rep said.
"Oda-kun warned me not to let anyone know about my skills."
"I get it, so you've been taking skills from the goblins and orcs we'd
fought this whole time." I nodded. All the loose ends are tied up.
"Wait a second," I gasped, "does that mean you got Super Horny and
Alpha Male?"
"Gaaaah! You can be such a jerk!"
In the middle of a primeval forest, Class Rep wailed inconsolably.
Did she just break? Where's the reset button? The other girls stormed out,
stood behind her, and volleyed insults and accusations at me. I didn't do
anything! I swear!
The girls got their fill of bullying when the sun reached its apex. Wait
a minute, it's lunch time! Another fish and mushroom barbecue! I put the
fish and mushrooms on skewers and roasted them. Every time I looked in
the Class Rep's direction, she just stared back at me with furious, halflidded eyes.
I flipped the skewers over and roasted them over an open flame. The
fiery glare of the Class Rep made me feel like I was the one being roasted.
I set a few skewers before her. She glared without pause.
This isn't a Glare of Eternal Friendship, is it?
"Class Rep, come on, time for lunch!"
She kept glaring at me. I had to say something to cheer her up.
"Uh, Class Rep. It's fine! There are worse skills out there. Like
Molester—aah!"
Class Rep yanked the ground out from between us with Ground
Shrink and slapped me. Ouch! That's so unfair…
What to do now? Setting the Class Rep's inexplicable mood aside, we
still hadn't made it to the edge of the forest. Even using Clairvoyance, I saw
nothing but trees in every direction. We were planning to head back in a
few hours if we didn't find anything by then. If there were plains
somewhere, we could've spotted towns or roads, but I couldn't sense
anything like that. I glanced around, only to meet the Class Rep's
judgmental gaze. We came to such a harmonious consensus about her
Hijack ability, but merely mentioning Alpha Male and Super Horny made
her turn on me! To understand each other through discussion would be
wonderful if it were possible, I thought, rubbing my cheek. She smacked me
so hard that I'm certain she could defeat an orc by herself.
"Hey Vice Rep A, should we get going?" I asked.
"Did you say Vice Rep A? That's not my name!"
"Uh, okay then. Vice Rep B, how about it?"
"Why would I answer to Vice Rep B?" She winked. "If you're trying
to guess my size, you're way off."
No kidding, B is way too small! I suddenly felt a wave of bloodlust
coming from the Class Rep. Her glare was veering toward murderous.
I wasn't looking! I wasn't even thinking about them! Not much,
anyway!
We walked for about an hour without seeing any way out of the
woods. If things kept going this poorly, we'd have to camp in the forest.
As it turned out, leaving the woods was more than a day trip. As far
as I was concerned, setting up camp tonight would be just as easy as
returning to the cave. I guess we'll decide by vote. Unfortunately, we
couldn't hold a vote because we couldn't start a meeting. And we couldn't
start a meeting because the Class Rep refused to do anything but glare at
me! I demand my right to vote. Just give me my fundamental human rights!
Eventually, an informal vote was taken, and most people voted to
head back to the cave.
We trudged back the way we came. We considered leveling up on the
way back, but that would have meant we probably wouldn't reach the cave
until late at night. There was a pretty big difference between deciding to
camp in the woods ahead of time and being forced to make camp at the last
minute.
I know that the person still glaring at me felt the same way. What's
wrong with her?
When we made it back, I pulled the stone door open, hiding my
frustration. I had worked so hard on this door, hoping that I wouldn't have
to use it so soon. Now, what to do for dinner? A home-cooked meal seemed
best, so I got started on herb-stuffed grilled fish. I also filled up the bath.
This would be everyone's last chance to bathe in comfort before we set out
tomorrow.
I used my Map skill and confirmed that the river wound a long,
snaking path to the right. Cutting across the deep forest would potentially
shorten our trip, but fighting all the tougher monsters would probably cost
us more time than we'd save.
I was concerned that we couldn't have a strategy meeting. I was way
too scared to ask anyone to attend, which was a bit of a problem. Of course,
the biggest problem was that our leader refused to say anything!
I escaped to my tent and decided to take a stroll through the forest.
There weren't any more meatheads, but there were plenty of normal
goblins. I was beyond exhausted. Still, I fought and killed a horde of
goblins. The slaughter was punctuated by goblin battle cries cut short by the
thwacking of a staff.
I worked through all my stress by massacring those goblins, and now,
beauteous sleep was calling me…but I sensed someone's presence in my
tent.
"I can sense a presence in my tent," I called out. "It's not idiots this
time. I'm gonna guess…somebody with angry eyes?"
"Guilty as charged," the Class Rep answered. "Sorry about today. I
was just embarrassed."
Class Rep, aka Miss Glare, bowed in apology. Targeting my
weakness! I can't help but forgive her when she leans forward and I get an
eyeful like that.
"Um, yeah. Keep working…hard?" I tried to encourage her.
"You're not great at cheering people up." She straightened back up.
"Are you upset?"
"I'm kidding." I paused. "Uh, so did you guys decide what you want
to do?"
"Yeah, we're planning on exploring for at least three days."
I nodded. "You want to find the nerds, after all."
"Yeah, the n—Oda-kun and his friends."
Impressive. She stopped herself just in time.
"I figure you've gotta make sure the mean girls follow through," I
said. They had improved so much as people, but their quest wasn't over
until they found the nerds.
In battle, the mean girls had stayed on the front lines, a vanguard and
shield for the others. Even though everyone had already forgiven them and
recognized their contributions, it seemed like they hadn't yet forgiven
themselves. They had become much stronger, but they were still putting
themselves in danger with every battle.
That's why I felt like I had to help them find the nerds. Whether or
not the nerds forgave them, nothing would be settled until they at least said
their piece. They couldn't move on until they finished their quest.
The Class Rep nodded. "Well, we're not forcing Shimazaki-san and
her friends to do anything. I want to apologize alongside them. And to say
thanks, too."
Uh, who's Shimazaki-san? Someone in town? But Miss Glare was
glaring at me before I could ask.