Chapter 9

Harry was present when it all went to hell in a handbasket. Both Tony and Harry had been completely unaware that his friend Rody had used the commotion of Tony's party to steal one of the outdated Iron Man suits, if only to get the people he served under off his ass. The only reason Tony still considered him a friend was because Rody had at least shown enough decency to wait until he was absolutely positive that Tony really had been alright after Harry hit him with a rather nasty vomiting hex as a distraction.

Tony couldn't very well be an idiot when he was too busy being sick, and Harry had covered up the lie of him having a bit too much alcohol by 'accidentally' hitting Tony in the stomach to activate the hex. He had apologized immediately once the party was over and Tony had calmed down from his morbid state, but it had been a fake one.

The second those robots started acting on someone other than Hammer's orders, Harry started leveling actual curses at them.

His wand, to his everlasting shock, morphed inside his hand to become a staff with a sharp end. It looked almost similar in origin to the one he had seen Loki use in his memories.

He knew he was Loki. He just didn't care. What had once been his idol had become a disillusioned past.

Loki Laufeyson was an arrogant, spiteful, petulant child. Not too dissimilar to Draco Malfoy once Lucius had been taken out of the equation.

He was quite happy remaining Harry Potter Black, the Viper of the World's legal system and advocate of the outcasts. Harry had infinitely more fun than Loki ever had, and he wasn't shunned for it to boot.

Besides, Harry got to play with people almost as much as the faeries that once lived among the mortal realms did.

He concentrated on killing the robots before they did too much damage. He wasn't ashamed to be a magical...however when he displayed inhuman feats of strength at least two hours after the start of this mess, he knew he could hide behind the fact that he was no longer human.

That out to be fun to explain to Tony later.

"So spill...how in the hell did you bend that steel in the convention area to free those people?" asked Tony a few days later, once his injuries had healed up a bit and he forgave Rody for swiping his outdated suit.

"...I'm not entirely human. Haven't been since shortly before I went after Dumbledore on the stand," admitted Harry.

"Why?"

"It all comes down to Loki, the Asgardian and adopted brother of the one called Thor, pissing off Odin to the point where he banished him from Asgard and forced him into a human form as punishment. So far I've seen up to the events leading to Thor being temporarily banished until he learned some damn humility, but I have no idea how Loki angered Odin to the point he couldn't talk his way out," said Harry.

"So... your real name is actually Loki? As in the god you worship?" said Tony in surprise.

"That sums it up. Apparently Odin felt my actions so far have earned me another chance in Asgard, but frankly I'm not that interested."

"Why not?"

"Well for one, this is a culture of gods from the viking era. Those people traditionally didn't like people being too smart. Plus there's the fact that Loki is still active on Asgard and I really don't want to cause a paradox until I figure out how he managed to piss off Odin. One of the biggest rules of time travel is that you can't see yourself in the past, mostly because one of the two might attack the other. Even that bossy twit Granger remembered that much."

"Seriously?"

"I think the real reason is so that the wizards had a more reasonable answer than to try and understand what the word 'paradox' means. The mass majority of magicals in Britain are sheep, so the idea that they would attack their double isn't a ridiculous one," said Harry flatly, drinking his beer.

"So...exactly what does this mean?"

"It means that until I have an actual reason to return to Asgard I'm staying here. Or until I finally meet Loki before he goes back. Somehow I get the feeling that won't exactly end well for either party," said Harry.

"So you remember your past life and you have your powers...why aren't you in on Fury's Avengers thing?"

"Because I'm not an idiot who'll dance to Fury's fife. And when he asks you the same question about that steel rod being bent, you can tell him that when he finally meets Thor's more intelligent brother then I might come to his precious helicarrier."

"How do you know he'll come to me asking about that?"

Harry gave him a dry look.

"Because Coulson missed my house even though he was five feet from it, and if he couldn't find it then there's no chance in Helhiem Fury will figure it out."

Which was entirely true, and Harry had a reason for this belief.

Every time Fury had found him, it was usually far away from his house, and if the man could he would have tried to have one of his best agents infiltrate Harry's home at least once. The fact he had yet to do so meant that his special charms were working perfectly and that Fury had no idea that the decrepit trailer Coulson had dismissed out of hand (he had been watching from the window with open amusement) was in fact his home, and not a place he conveniently ducked into to apparate to his actual house.

Tony conceded Harry's point. He had to head to a business meeting later anyway, but talking to Harry was always fun. The man had such a snarky disposition and Tony found his viper's tongue fun to listen to when it wasn't aimed at him.

Unknown: I heard you had an eventful time at Stark's expo

SilvertongueViper: oh?

Unknown: something about the infamous Viper bending a steel beam.

Harry immediately grew suspicious. So he decided to play a trick on Unknown. He started quoting Lewis Carrol's poem from Through the Looking Glass, specifically the one involving the Jabberwocky...in perfect Latin.

Unknown: why are you quoting Lewis Carrol?

SilvertongueViper: Hello Agent Romanov...or should I call you the Black Widow?

Unknown: …

SilvertongueViper: I thought it odd that you knew of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s attack on Hammer or the fact that it was me who bent that bar...my face was under an obscuring charm at the time and the only ones who knew was Tony and Fury once Tony mentioned it. However the fact you knew what I was quoting only told me all I needed. Very few people can translate Latin, let alone recognize the poem of the Jabberwocky.

Unknown: perhaps I recognized the words Jabberwocky and Vorpal. Those don't exactly translate very well in Latin

SilvertongueViper: Nice try, but only someone well versed in Latin would recognize that I was specifically quoting Lewis Carrol's poem. So tell me, how did Fury enjoy my ongoing prank with Jane?

Unknown: He's pissed as hell about the fact Coulson didn't think to check for a trap before he accidentally infected our servers. I have to ask, why did you trap the computers with such disgusting porn?

SilvertongueViper: I bet he's wondering how I bent that bar as well.

Unknown: he's not the only one.

SilvertongueViper: As far as I can tell, at some point in the very near future Thor's much more intelligent brother Loki did something to piss off their father and he decided the tried and true method of instilling some humility in him.

Unknown: you're Loki?

SilvertongueViper: I may have been in a previous life, but from what I've seen Loki is a rather petulant child. I have no desire to become that petty to the point where he unleashed Frost Giants from Jotunhiem just to insure Thor's special day was ruined.

Unknown: why didn't you go back with Thor then?

SilvertongueViper: two reasons. One, I don't want to meet Loki and accidentally cause a paradox, and two I really don't feel like it. Why should I return to Asgard if I prefer causing havoc here and being paid to do it?

Unknown: Clint would love to meet you. He still hasn't stopped laughing at the look on Phil's face when he found out why his computer was infected.

SilvertongueViper: Clint as in Clint Barton? I've heard of him...he's one of the rare few agents of you lot I can respect. Not many would ignore the overdone gun and bullets and go back to the basics

Well that and Harry distinctly remembered Loki doing something to take control of the man.

Unknown: Clint will be happy to hear that. Any chance we could meet face-to-face?

SilvertongueViper: absolutely. I'll even thrown in lunch, provided you don't try to recruit me like Fury did. I was nearly turned into a weapon and a tool once, Agent Romanov, I have no intention of it happening twice.

Unknown: fair enough. Just keep the Viper on a leash please.

Harry was waiting at a rather quaint, if slightly overpriced, restaurant when they approached.

Clint Barton and Natasha Romanov...the Hawk and the Spider.

"Well, well, well...isn't this an interesting meeting? The hawk, the spider and the viper," said Harry. Clint snorted in amusement.

"All the makings of a really bad joke," he said. He held out a hand, "Clint Barton."

"Harry 'Viper' Potter."

"Natasha Romanov, but you know me better as Unknown," said the red head.

"So...what's this about you being Loki?" asked Clint, trying to break the ice.

"From what little of his memories I've unlocked, he did something to royally anger his adopted father Odin. And Odin, it seems, has a preferred punishment for his...sons."

"Turning them into humans," said Natasha.

"Judging by what I've learned, he overshot Loki's body by several decades and put him in an infant that hadn't even been born yet."

"So why haven't you gone back to wherever Thor came from yet?" asked Clint.

"Paradox and it's not that fun there. If you had a choice between mocking people and being paid to do it, or being bored out of your mind in a place you hate, which would you chose?" asked Harry.

"You get paid to mock people?" said Clint.

Harry grinned.

"What do you think a lawyer does for fun? Mocking people is half the reason why I became a lawyer in the first place! You get to insult people like that senator and the best part is that they can't do one thing about it," said Harry smirking.

Clint chuckled evilly.

"You like pranks?"

"I once set a bunch of garden snakes (who are total perverts) on some girls in the school my cousin works at. What do you think?"

Clint grinned evilly.

A year. That was how long Harry had been left alone (more or less) by S.H.I.E.L.D. outside of his chats with the Black Widow.

Then he got the call. Loki had shown up and stolen the Tesseract, the same Cube that Howard Stark fished out of the ocean. And Clint had been taken as well.

"I'll be there in five minutes," said Harry. He apparated to Tony's little apartment inside the Stark Tower and hitched a ride with the billionaire. He wasn't flying in this weather.

"So you got the call too?" asked Tony on the Quinjet.

"It's Loki we're dealing with, and it's known I'm his mortal form. Of course I got the call!" snarked Harry.

"I'm betting Fury will want to know where he is," said Tony.

"And I have no idea. While I've unlocked most of his memories, there are some that are still under a heavy guard. I'll remember them as necessary, but some events are locked," said Harry.

Fury was glaring at Harry, there was no other words for it.

"Fine," he sighed, before he waved his hand around the entire bridge, "You are now trap free until this mess is over with. Happy?"

"Very," said Fury.

Harry saw Coulson and smirked.

"So how did it feel to have everyone hate you for bringing that trap onto the ship?" he asked.

Coulson took a neutral look.

Tony snickered.

"That reminds me, Harry, this is yours," said Tony. He had a second briefcase with the picture of a viper on it.

"So you actually made it?"

"Why not? After you managed to get the military to back off, I admit the idea sounded interesting enough to try it," said Tony.

"What is that?" asked Fury.

"A flight-suit, more or less. Without the weapons system, though he did add an AI," said Harry, accepting the briefcase.

"It also doubles as a regular briefcase in a pinch," shrugged Tony.

"And why would you ask Stark to make you a flight suit?" asked Natasha. She was about to go retrieve Banner.

"Because if I have to stay in one more overcrowded plane I'll go nuts, or heaven forbid fly another broom. People won't bat an eye if they see a flight suit. People will think I'm outdated if I keep using that rickety stick to fly," said Harry flatly.

"Want to help me go get Banner? I would prefer the back-up, considering that alter ego of his," asked Natasha hopefully. With Clint compromised, Harry was the second best bet. Besides, she liked his snarky attitude.

"Sure. I can pay back Tony by helping convince Banner to come crash at his little apartment," said Harry.

Tony gave him a thumbs up in thanks.

Banner was on edge after following that little girl into the house. Mostly because she had run off as soon as he had gotten inside.

"Dr. Banner I presume?" said a male voice, with a cultured tone.

"If you're trying to capture the Hulk, I feel obligated to warn you that it's doomed to failure," said Bruce.

"Hardly. If I needed that much muscle I would drag that idiot Thor back from Asgard. No, we have need of Bruce Banner, noted expert on gamma radiation. Some idiot has made off with a device that has a low amount of constant radiation coming off it and we need your help to track it," said Harry, stepping out of the shadows.

"We?"

Natasha came to stand next to him.

"At the moment I am forced to work with that gun-happy organization called S.H.I.E.L.D., and my associate here has asked me to help convince you to come with us. Coincidentally Stark has expressed an appreciation for how you turn into, and I quote him on this, 'a giant green rage monster'. Fair warning, he seeks to bamboozle you into staying in his penthouse suite in New York, since you're the only one aside from me who speaks English, according to him," said Harry dryly.

"Wait a minute...aren't you the infamous Viper of the Courtrooms?" said Bruce, finally recognizing the pin on his lapel.

"Guilty."

"So you have no interest in the Hulk. At all?" said Bruce.

"Not at the moment. If things came to a fight we might appreciate the muscle, but right at this moment we need your assistance tracking down the Tesseract more than we need something that needs anger management classes," said Harry dryly.

"I assume I'm being paid for this?" asked Bruce. He was a practical man at heart.

"Standard consultation fee, plus expenses," said Harry promptly.

"I'm in," said Bruce.

Natasha stared in disbelief. Harry was scarily good when it came to convincing people.

"I swear someday you'll convince the birds that the sky isn't for flying with that tongue of yours," she said to him.

"Give me time," said Harry chuckling darkly. Then he remembered something. He waved his hand over Bruce.

"What was that?"

"A shield so you don't have to deal with my ongoing game with the gun-happy idiots. Ask Fury or Coulson about the virus they got stuck with for taking something that wasn't theirs," said Harry grinning.

Natasha snorted.

"Fury nearly shot Coulson for that," she said amused.