CHAPTER 3

Lilia sat on the floor and opened the computer. She looked for the research that she had done and that she had recorded in a document, she wrote down on a piece of paper the name of the city and the references. The school and the lake. She searched on the internet about how long it would take her to get to that place and she discovered that she actually was not that far, five hours is not that far when she has no plans or projects.

She remembered that Mr. James had deposited in her account what corresponded to her salary and her vacations, surely it was not much but it was enough to go to that place and stay a couple of days. Enough to find Lilia, see that she was okay, and go back.

She pushed the laptop away and reached for a backpack. I pull a couple of things out of the closet until she comes across an old backpack that she used to wear years ago. She put a couple of clothes inside, not many, she did not want to wear anything that reminded her of Ian, she put a comb and some other things, a notebook with her notes and, although upset, she searched until exhaustion for her cell phone, which was under the bed, and no longer turned on. She found the charger and put it inside the backpack, along with all the other things she had been accumulating.

He was about to leave the house when he realized something. She couldn't just disappear. He had time while everyone thought he was at work, but the problem was afterward when he was supposed to be at home, and in reality, they realized that he was not there and that he had not gone to the beach because he would not return so soon. She had no doubts that they were going to distrust, go into crisis, and call the police. Make a big fuss like she's not a grown woman capable of making her own decisions.

As she sighed, she approached the table, she took out the notepad that was left there, and tried to write something that would explain her absence.

I need to find the girl from the e-mail.

She made sense, that's what she was going to do. She was going to find Lilia, find out that she was okay, and come back. But they didn't know who she was, they didn't know that she received the e-mails from her. She had to explain.

She started writing another note, trying to be concise but clear, to no avail. It was long and confusing. He crossed it out and threw it in the trash along with the old one.

I will travel

It also seemed the right thing to do. It was just what he was going to do. But she wouldn't calm them down at all, they'd be mad after her everywhere. She crossed that out too and threw it in the trash.

There is a girl who writes to me, I need to see her.

I have to find Lilia.

Lilia needs me, sorry.

I will return shortly.

I'm going to meet Lilia.

They were all true, but in the eyes of her family, they wouldn't make sense. She tossed them all in the trash and tried again.

I need time.

That was it, and easy to understand. She needed everyone's time, while he tried to find Lilia, to make sure she was okay. That was just what she was going to do.

She placed the note in the center of the table clutched with a red vase. It was better to leave something for them than to disappear without a trace.

They would be fine, and when they least noticed she would walk through that door and tell them the whole trip and fill them in on the long and confusing story. There was nothing to worry about. They would surely even notice her absence.

When he left the house the sun was still shining, but this time Lilia didn't bother, on the contrary, she saw it as a new path. It was a new beginning. He would find Lilia, as well as answers and clarity. In the process, she would find herself. There were no faults.

At the bus terminal, she bought a stopover ticket to her destination. Michellan was not a very crowded destination, and the buses did not go directly, but she had to take one for three hours and then coincide with another, travel for six more hours to get there. The information on the Internet was correct, it would be five hours if she went by car. But she didn't have a car, at least not after the accident, when Ian's car, which she used to drive, was declared unusable.

But she didn't really bother him, the prospect of traveling several hours to her seemed promising. She would have time to think and order her mind. She was getting away from her family, from all the people who said she was ready to start over, and somehow that idea seemed extremely positive to her.

In minutes the first transport left, and Lilia settled into the assigned seat, surprisingly happy to have the headphones, but since the cell phone was still without battery, I rummaged in my backpack until I found the old MP3 with old music that I used to listen to a few years ago. five years ago.

Fortunately, she had a good playlist and the journey did not take that long. She even slept a bit, until someone woke her up by sitting next to her. She turned and watched the landscape pass by. Fascinated with nature, with the ups and downs, with the mountains. All she could see was grass, trees, birds. Nature in the splendor of it.

Lilia had already traveled before, with her parents we used to go on vacation to a beach not far from home, and spend a week interned in a rental house. It was the best they could do all year, and she used to look forward to that trip. But then she and Mel started working and the vacations stopped coinciding, and the trips happened.

For a moment she wondered how they were. If they had already noticed her absence and if they had found the note. She hoped they would respect her decision, even though they had no way of knowing where to find her. She hadn't talked to the friends she used to have for a long time.

Anyway, she was not going to take that long to return, it would be a few days, at most a week. From what he had seen it was a small city, so he would have no difficulty in finding Lilia, telling her the story of how he had found her, and then what he supposed would be an awkward moment when he revealed that all the things that he had narrated, apparently in secret to no one but her, she had received them, and read them. They would talk some more and then she should move on.

Deep down she knew she was being delusional. It would take a lot of courage to speak to him. Maybe he was just watching from behind a tree after he found her. She was going to make sure she was okay, eating ice cream with her friends at her favorite ice cream parlor, and she would go home. In the best of scenarios, her family had understood her decision and told them about the trip with emotion. She even wanted to imagine the worst-case scenario.

At the second stop, Lilia discovered that she had to wait two and a half hours for the next departure. She strolled through the terminal, walked around the city, which had no more than ten blocks to each side, bought a coffee and a hamburger, and dropped into the uncomfortable waiting bench with an hour to go.

He took a book out of his backpack and tried to navigate the pages of an unknown story, but it was almost impossible to get out of his mind where he was going. Until she surrendered, she leaned back on the bench and closed her eyes.

Surely Ian would say that she was crazy to let all go behind a story, an unknown person. He was so rational. Everything should have a reason and a clear explanation.

Suddenly a crash made her sit up on the bench. She looked out in horror to discover that a storm was approaching, and everyone on the sidewalk ran for cover when the first drops fell.

From where she was, Lilia did not get wet, but she raised her legs to her chest and watched those drops fall until they touched the ground and spread everywhere. It was a cute image. But she left him with a strange feeling of loneliness. She suddenly realized how lonely she was on that trip and how risky her plan was, going to an unknown place, with the idea of ​​finding someone she did not know. But she was already there, and there was nothing left to lose.

She sighed in her place and realized that there was no going back. For many days, weeks, she had no going back. With what had happened she had no way to go back and change things, as much as she wanted to, she, unfortunately, could only move forward.

As if corroborating her thought, the car that would take her to her destination arrived at the terminal. Lilia reviewed the passage and verified that it was that one. What she did not want was to end up in another totally strange destination. At least towards the remote city of Michellan she had something to look for and something to do. Anyway, he realized with a little discomfort, in his city, where his family and his old friends were, he had nothing right now, just a couple of memories that he would give everything to forget, at least for a while, until the wound hurt less.

She got on the bus and walked down the narrow corridor to her place. She was still on the side of the window since when buying the tickets she had made sure of that with extreme devotion; Nothing he hated more than traveling down the aisle.

He settled in for the remaining six hours and returned to observe almost the same landscape as before. Tall trees were lost in the distance until they were replaced by mountains, wide hills that the bus went up and down without misgivings. They came to some cities that she observed with interest. Some larger than others, but it was not that which held her attention, but the fact that the vast majority of the people who arrived had someone waiting. Faces lit up, smiles widened, and bodies hugged one another in warm welcoming hugs.

As night began to fall on them and the weather turned from slightly warm to cold, Lilia was forced to remove some clothing from her backpack. Unfortunately, she had not considered the change in the weather, and to tell the truth she had not thought very well about it, so among the garments she had, there was only a woolen jumpsuit, which she did not hesitate to wear.

She rested the backpack on the glass and settled her head on it. She stared out without much interest. From within it was almost impossible to see the stars clearly, and she could not see the moon anywhere, hiding between the treetops or losing herself with each rise and fall. She gave in to find it and closed her eyes. There were still a few hours to go, so falling asleep for a while would be the best thing she could do.

She didn't want to think about Ian and she did her best not to, but it was almost inevitable. In travel, it is almost impossible for the mind not to travel far and bring to the surface all those thoughts that we try so hard to silence every day. At night, when everything becomes neatly dark and silent it was as if she could hear her voice, feel her laugh, hear her jokes… and then she remembered that it was not true. That she will never hear any of that again, that it will only be in her memory and that she will not be able to share it with anyone. It reminds her that all her dreams will be forgotten and that they will no longer be the happy couple that she wanted so much. Lilia realized that she did not remember that they had problems, but perhaps that was her problem, planning so much and doing little. They were leaving everything for the future when they could move when they could travel, and then they were left doing nothing, they were left without a future. Lilia realized that she was left without doing anything with him, as they had wanted, because Ian left too soon, without warning, without a goodbye.

She wiped away the first few tears that slid down her cheeks but gave up on the next ones. There was no point in removing the tears if they kept coming.

Sometime between thoughts and memories, she fell asleep. When she woke up again she was in the Michellan terminal. She had reached her destination.