Ch.30

Life started anew on a normal late twentieth century earth or so I thought at first. I'd lived a normal life up until my seventeen year old high school girlfriend died horribly in a car accident or so the police said. Seeing the short older man telling me lies, I gave him a blank face and growled that I didn't believe his lies and I'd find out what happened on my own. Artie Nealson, a warehouse 13 agent, was my biggest clue.

I graduated and sold a tech startup firm as my first big hit for money. I was an orphan so I simply moved on and out applying skills I needed to collect artifacts starting with HG Wells's tech in her famed house. Once I'd confirmed everything, I became a world class thief and master of disguise. I stole all the artifacts Artie traded to the Russians and moved on to hunting down more at Niagara Falls's power station where Roaring Dan Sevy hid his treasure and his dead body.

I acquired all the artifacts, easily avoiding the traps and bagging his amulet first so it couldn't kill me first. I packed up all the artifacts there before moving on to getting the count of St.Germaine's ring. That one was less fun and bright side, I got a giant heart sized gem to boot. I just kept moving on, determined to take every artifact the warehouse agents would've found first.

I stole a tsuba for a katana from a museum in Washington and stole the katana itself from Japan, making an invisible katana. Next was the four elements I took to make myself immortal and all powerful. I took the four artifacts with the power after using them. I found the buckskin cloak next and stole it from an auction house storage lot.

Years passed as I'd collected a good portion of what would've been Pete and Myka's collection. I'd gone so far as to retrieve the spine of the Saracen, the elephant earthquake staff, the glass knife, a telegraph that causes severe paranoia, some Bataan Death March Dogtags, a Lantern from the Courrières Mine and the Chinese Orchid to say a few. In point of fact I'd gone so far as to steal the barometer that stops time for forty-seven seconds from a not so good secret service agent when he used it to screw with another agent.

It'd been years since I'd started my life as a world class thief thanks to graduating not long after the incident. I had a literal museum of artifacts all my own and I'd not been shy about stealing them from Artie's old pal McPherson or the regent's biggest mistake, Walter Sykes. Hell, it was downright easy to trace Sykes through A to Z Technologies. As for McPherson, the invisibility sword and the time barometer was the easiest way I'd followed and robbed his little stash houses.

I got all the artifacts he had while Sykes was left with only the House of Commons artifact simply because I couldn't figure out how to take it without it exploding like a nuke. Even the metronome was taken by me so I'd turned it off and left Sykes without his most loyal friend. Heck, I'd gotten a lost Van Gogh that kicked up winds occasionally as well afterwards. When the Aztec blood stone came into play, I took the second projector from the forties from a post office.

I'd spent years hunting more artifacts than just what the agents normally would've retrieved at two at a time. So when I say I moved everything to the small town where the projector was so I could keep an eye on the warehouse, what I meant was I'd built a mansion in Unaville and an underground vault like museum where the artifacts rested outside anyone's use. I watched as Pete and Myka were brought in as agents.

When they went after a record, I robbed the record artifact thieves after they escaped the Secret Security agents but before Pete and Myka could get to it. When they went after the chair that made people act out their subconscious desires, I failed to claim the chair before Pete could destroy it unfortunately. Still, when little Claudia Donovan, Claire's sister, showed up in Unaville right before she kidnapped Artie, I followed them to an old abandoned lab where I overheard her issues and decided to help.

I revealed myself to them and told Artie it seems I wasn't the only one tracking him. They asked who I was and I snorted, saying I wasn't surprised she'd forgotten me, but it almost hurt that Artie hadn't had a clue who I was. I told them both. "After all, I've been in the artifact tracking and acquiring business for more than twelve years now. After Artie here told me Claire was killed in a car accident."

I turned sadly to Claudia. "Don't tell me you'd forgotten your older sister?"

Claudia nearly fell over and I moved literally like the win and caught her, steadying her with worry on my face. She asked how I moved like that and I sighed. "After I found out about artifacts, I traveled the globe acquiring them. I ended up finding more than my fair share including some that granted power and immortality. I ended up become a near god in power so moving like the wind is just the tip of the iceberg."

I asked her what was wrong and what happened so I could help. She told me about Rheticus's compass and I frowned before thinking it over. "Taking a shortcut to technological advancements isn't what the artifacts were meant for. Though I think I know what went wrong. Joshua didn't jump through time-space, he jumped into an alternate dimension just outside of phase with our reality. If I'm right he shouldn't have aged, though it should've been stable unless-"

I looked her over. "You tried to repeat the experiment here where it happened without the compass."

She nodded slowly and I sighed. "I think I can help us get to him. If I remember my history lessons right Rheticus was a brilliant analytical mind, but he enjoyed puzzles and hiding the answers in riddles within his own work. If I can get the compass I can reverse the field and bring us back safely."

I moved around and set everything up before frowning. "I need his research to duplicate the experiment exactly and understand it."

Claudia said she could walk me through it so I had her sit down carefully. I told Artie to piss off or help because the field was tied to Claudia's lifeforce which is why she's getting weaker now. He said his hands were bound and Claudia freed him asking him to just help for Joshua. We moved and once it was ready, Pete and Myka showed up.

I told them to step aside or I would do whatever was necessary to protect Claudia and get her brother back even if it meant killing them. Artie said it was unnecessary and told them to stand down. He told them to stand outside and make sure no one comes in on accident. When it was set, an astral form of Joshua came. I saw him and grunted. "Hey bro, it's been a while."

He asked shocked. "Ren?"

I nodded and told him to hold on because we were coming to him to get him back. I flipped the reverse and held Claudia while grabbing Artie. We got zapped into the same field and Claudia felt better instantly. She hugged Joshua and I asked him for the compass.

He handed it over and I looked it over before flipping it upside down. I saw the Latin alphabet and smiled, using the name for Rheticus's fabled lover. The panel popped off and I read the Latin inscription before telling them to grab onto the compass and when the did, I turned the dial, sending us back. I pocketed the compass in front of Artie and thanked them for the artifact.

Pete and Myka told me to hand it over and I disappeared, reappearing while they fell down unconscious. "I tried to warn you guns are just toys to me, Tesla or not. I'm physically indestructible and immortal to boot. You warehouse agents and your arrogance."

I turned to Claudia and Joshua with a sad smile. "I gave up on ever seeing Claire again a long time ago unfortunately. Sadly, I never found out what exactly happened to her. Still, I'm not exactly human anymore so there's nothing for me to give to her even if I found her again. Mostly I've been collecting artifacts just to spite the warehouse. After all, I'm practically an artifact myself these days."

I turned to Artie with a frown. "Tell the brain trust when they wake up that it wouldn't be wise to threaten me again. I might just shoot them with their own teslas next time."

I went to leave and Claudia asked me to wait. She hugged me and thanked me. I nodded and told her I'd have done anything for her and Joshua because I owed Claire that much. She asked if she'd see me again and I smiled wryly saying I'd be around.

I told Artie to be careful of Walter Sykes and McPherson because while I'd robbed them of most artifacts, they were both extremely dangerous and Sykes had a piece of the House of Commons in his wheelchair. I left in a blur of wind and smiled, dropping the tracker Claudia had tried to leave on me into the car the agents had brought. I put the compass away and worked on building a tech company.

It wasn't long before the regents tracked me down or Miss Frederic rather. A museum of non goo'd artifacts not far from the warehouse…suffice it to say it didn't take her long to find me once she started looking. I found her and her butler, an Asian man who was all silence and stares, in said museum of artifacts. I told them to leave because they might get hurt if they touch something.

She asked if I knew who she was and I nodded. "I do, and I know how you appear and disappear. Using a teleportation artifact while knowing what happened to Joshua, I don't know if you're a reckless caretaker or just overconfident."

Her eyes narrowed and she asked how much I knew about her and the warehouse. I smirked lightly. "Everything. More than you even. After all, a master thief isn't limited by laws of countries and an immortal like myself means human laws mean even less. I can go where your agents can't and speak to those that won't speak to them after all."

She stepped around the case with the plantation medallion that caused spider bites and saw the cases with the four elements. Seeing them she asked. "These are what you used to become immortal?"

I nodded slowly and stopped her from picking up the stone. "Don't touch that. The pain it inflicts is extreme. While I may have survived it, I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

She smiled and pulled my hand away before offering me a job. I gave her a blank look before saying I had one already and I was doing better than her own people have in centuries. She raised an eyebrow and said there were only a few artifacts here. I smiled lightly. "This is only the entrance."

I held up a beeper and clicked it. Steel walls lifted and showed them in every direction as lights came on, room by room, hundreds of artifacts. Now she was surprised and seeing one in particular, she went to the Phoenix case. She looked to me and asked how I knew McPherson.

I told her I robbed him of his artifacts when I found him trying to gather and sell them. I told her I'd done the same to Walter Sykes who planned to get into the warehouse through the Chinese regent base and blow it up once he got his bracelet back using an artifact piece of the House of Commons. "Sadly I wasn't able to take that artifact as well because it's tied to a timer and if I moved him off of it for long it'd blow up with the force of a nuke thanks to how much he hates you all."

She said that was troubling, but not much to worry about for now. She asked if I knew where McPherson was and l told her no, but I could find him easily enough if I wanted to. I told her to leave and I'd contact her later with his location if she doesn't come back to my place. She asked why I came to Unaville of all places and I frowned before saying I chose it to keep an eye on the warehouse in case things go bad there.

She walked to her butler and asked if it was because I more likely that I was drawn to it. My face went cold and I told her to leave because despite what I'd become I wasn't an artifact to be tagged and bagged. I told her that I'd die before I let myself be bronzed or stuffed on a shelf somewhere to collect dust. She said she wasn't trying to bag and tag me as an artifact, but instead she wanted to offer me a place filled with endless wonder.

I left silently and a few days later I left McPherson bound and gagged on the warehouse front porch as it were. He had a bow and a letter with his plans to wake HG Wells to locate the lost warehouse and use the Menoan Trident on Yellow Stone Park, ending the world. I warned them that HG knew where the regent clubhouse was along with the lost warehouse and if she was set free Sykes would come for her.

I gave them Sykes's location and suggested they use Gandhi's dhoti on him to deactivate the House of Commons bomb and negate the negative effects of the bracelet that turned him evil. I continued to hunt dangerous artifacts and even retrieved the piece of the Manoan trident. I did keep an eye on them and even hired Joshua through the company I'd started to research condensed heavy element solar farming technology for unlimited clean energy.

McPherson was bronzed and Walter Sykes was stopped so there was that. A businessman in New York found the Lenape cave empty after spending billions looking for it which I found hilarious. Jack Seagan was found and they did contact me then, this time through Claudia showing up on my doorstep. She barged in and was surprised to find the Spartan bachelor pad with only a wall of screen and computers as the only entertainment in sight.

I grunted. "Why yes Claudia, come into my personal home and please ignore the fact that I didn't invite you in before you bulldozed over me."

She laughed at the snark and asked about my set up. I told her I built it all myself and it was far more advanced than anything on the market. I told her it tracked all artifacts world wide and determined their threat level while going through all myths and legends both written and spoken to determine potential artifacts out there. I told her I'd hacked the warehouse long ago and had their files so with what I had and what the warehouse had it extrapolated and searched for missing potential artifacts while looking for current ones causing trouble and keeping an eye on those known to be in both mine and their hands.

She said I'd need a satellite and I gave her a droll stare. "I have my own cloaked satellite network far more advanced than any government on earth has. Now what is it you want since you aren't here for pleasantries?"

She turned to me now and asked. "What makes you think I'm not here to just chill and hang in this sick pad?"

I grunted. "Because even I'm aware my place is lacking and only one person knew where I lived. Even your brother doesn't know and he works for me."

She grumbled and said Miss Frederic sent her to ask if I knew what killed some dead agent since the artifact was missing and a note of who he was was left with his body. I grunted and took the file before telling her it was a spine of the Saracen which is locked in my vault in the basement because it's extremely deadly to the user and anyone around him. I told her about the spine and that I'd left the note years ago in the hopes that when someone found him they'd bury him and close his file.

I handed the file back and told her about Jack's living fiancé to be Rebecca. I added that she is a former warehouse agent as well and through their files I'd found the glass knife that was the real artifact behind Cinderella. I grunted saying I'd closed most of their cold cases including the horn of Joshua if she could believe the irony in that one. I asked if that was all she came for and she shook her head.

She said she wanted to talk about Claire and I stiffened, saying Claire was dead and I'd closed that chapter in my life long ago. She still wanted to talk so I went to the fridge and passed her a beer before grabbing one for myself and heading outback where a pool and large garden lay. I drank and sighed as I sat on a low waist high garden wall with bonsai trees growing next to them.

She went to speak and I grunted. "Claire and I were young, dumb and in love or at least I was partially. We hadn't reached the physical stage or anything, just beach side walks, talking and enjoying each other's calming presence. I was a bit of a tech geek and she loved playing the guitar while I worked."

I stared at my bottle for a while before sighing. "I'd record her sometimes when she played and even learned it myself just so we could play together sometimes."

I took a swig and looked to Claudia before looking to the garden. "My mind was always thinking you see, and she knew just what to play when I got stuck on something to calm me down before offering a different perspective. I was smart, but she was brilliant and far better than I deserved, especially when I got caught up in my work a lot."

I set the empty bottle down and she asked about her. I told her what she wanted to know and eventually I admitted that I doubt I was in love with her, just the peace of mind she gave me when I needed it, like the calm in the center of a hurricane of ideas or an oasis in the desert. "I think that's what made us so good together and why we never took it farther even with the dates and long talks. I was the chaos and she was order, balancing us out."

I told her the hood stories and the small laughs we'd had in between. I ended it saying that ever since her death, this was the closest I'd had to a decent time because I'd been so focused on uncovering what happened to her and when that failed, hunting down artifacts and locking them away so no one could be hurt by the dangerous ones. I told her how I sold off my software company I'd made with all that work and I'd traveled the globe becoming a master hacker and thief, securing every artifact with potential dangerous side effects or could be used by people like Sykes and McPherson.

I told her I wanted to show her something and she followed me to the vault. She was amazed by the sheer number, saying it wasn't as much as the warehouse, but it seemed like a lot for one man. I grunted and told her I was motivated with a goal, but they weren't what I'd wanted her to see. I brought her to the sealed wall and typed in a password on the lock.

It lifted and guitar was revealed behind a glass case. She asked if it was Claire's and I shook my head saying it was mine. "I don't know how, but after she died, it began acting like an artifact. It randomly plays chaotic and sad tunes that start lightning storms and makes the sky rain fire or blood. It's like it absorbed all I was feeling, all the pain and anger, grief and loss before turning into an artifact."

We watched the guitar play and I told her it was safe with a soundproof fiber optic coating that prevents the sounds from escaping and effecting the world. I told her it was the first artifact I'd ever come across and as far as I can tell it's power encompassed the globe on a massive scale. She read the plaque sighing. "Chaotic mind guitar. Apocalyptic level artifact. Caution, do not remove or it's music start an apocalypse of fire, blood and massive category five storms world wide. Jesus, that's some grief you got there."

I grunted and told her I got over it after a decade and put it in my past where it would stay. I told her I had one last thing to show her and then she could go give her report to the warehouse like a good agent. She said she wasn't an agent and I told her they'd best be paying her to run errands then because it'd be pretty dumb to do their own work for them for free. She said it was a temp thing until she earns her own badge.

I grunted and closed the vault before bringing her to the hidden wall stereo system. There I pulled a CD and put it in. Claire's playing and laughter at the start made me smile as I remembered it. My voice was there teasing her until she played seriously.

The music filled the once quiet mansion in every room for a time. When it was over, I pulled the CD and put it in a case before handing it to Claudia. "Take it. I think you need it more than I do now. I put everything else in the past and locked away what remained. At least someone can appreciate the hood parts that are left."

She thanked me and I smiled wryly at her hug. I told her that was the only and original copy so she should be careful with it because if it breaks I don't have another to give her. I told her there were thirteen songs on it and the last she'd dedicated to her little sister. I shrugged, saying even I hadn't heard it because I couldn't get past the first five without remembering she was dead and getting blackout drunk to forget for a time.

I told her I hadn't listened to it in years do to not wanting to become an alcoholic depressed bum. She left after finishing a few beers and some long conversations about the past. Basically she'd filled me in on her own shit storm of a past and her time in a psych ward while I'd told her about my own near misses and time hunting artifacts. She went off to give her report and get back to work while I tracked down a few more artifacts.

Artie showed up when I returned from collecting a cannibal making jar. He said the artifacts belong in the warehouse and I told him to piss off because while I can't stop Miss Frederic, I can stop him from entering my vault. He took a picture of me with a camera and I growled when he freed me long enough to take the bracelets. When I was freed again, my vault was empty and Artie was there with Myka and Pete.

I made no move against them and simply told them they'd regret stealing from a master thief. I told them to leave before I get violent and show them why Miss Frederic didn't simply rob my vault herself. Over the next few weeks I watched them and while everyone including Leena was out of the warehouse, I took the warehouse itself into my painting.

All the artifacts they'd stolen and so much more were now in my possession. Miss Frederic showed up later that day with them and asked for the warehouse back. I told her I didn't know what she was talking about and Pete told me they knew I took it. I broke his nose and told him I don't appreciate accusations from those who stole from me before.

Myka waved her badge and I told her I don't answer to the laws of mortals and thieves at that. Miss Frederic asked what I meant and I told her to ask her own people, starting with Artie who apparently uses artifacts to steal from people. They had their discussion and Miss Frederic was none too happy with him. Still, she asked for the warehouse back, saying she knows I have it because she's connected to it and she can feel it with me specifically, even when I moved around.

I grunted and asked why I should give it back even if I did have it? I told her I don't appreciate thieves stealing from other thieves. She hesitated before saying she'd die if I keep it too long. I stilled before saying she can have it back, but I was keeping all the artifacts inside for the slight.

Artie was angry and so was Pete and Myka, but Claudia asked me not to take it out on the warehouse like that. I growled low before closing my eyes. I grunted as I opened my eyes. "I've taken what was stolen from me back."

I narrowed my eyes on Miss Frederic and told her we had a lot to discuss about what I'd found inside. Headed with them and put the warehouse back using the painting. Claudia asked what it was and I told her. "The Myriad Rivers and Mountains painting. It's said to have been created by a monk during the Edo period when he saw the beauty and wonder of Kun Lun, one the seven heaven realms that area believed in. It has an entire vast wilderness inside filled with the majesty of the heavens and the breath of divinity. I use it as a personal storage device for living and non living entities like the warehouse."

I put away the scroll saying once it disappeared. "It's inside my soul now, safe even from thieves without honor like your friends here."

She asked curiously. "Inside your soul?"

I nodded slowly and grimaced. "If you learn nothing else in your time here, know this, artifacts always have a cost. They may seem innocent and some might not extract it from your or even be dangerous, but every artifact ever made has a cost. The painting is made from divinity and ties itself to the most divine part of humanity, the soul of the owner. It will be with me till the day I die and the only way to take it from me is with my death."

I glared at Artie and the other two. "Just in case you're thinking of committing another heist sometime soon, you will need to kill me or next time I will take every artifact in the warehouse."

I turned to Artie specifically. "And don't think your little camera will stop me next time. Try that trick again and you'll be the photogenic one when it backfires."

Miss Frederic said there won't be a next time because the regents wanted a word with me. I snorted and told her I don't answer to school teachers and waitresses who govern the warehouse. I turned to leave and she said it was about what I'd found in the warehouse and why I didn't take it. I stilled before telling her I'd follow her to wherever they want to meet.

A café it was in the end and a nearly full one at that when I arrived. I recognized most of them and just ordered a black coffee and a bloody rare steak. Miss Frederic apologized for Arthur's actions and I brushed them off saying it was my fault for trusting her and Claudia to keep their mouths shut. She raised an eyebrow and asked. "You brought Claudia into the vault?"

I grunted. "I showed her the very first artifact I'd ever found or created rather. Suffice it to say I learned the hard way that grief can be apocalyptic. The Chinese Orchid isn't the most dangerous artifact in my collection. At least with it the world itself survives."

I ignored the waitress taking notes and sipped my coffee. I brushed off Miss Frederic's questions and told her to wait until the last of the normal people leave so the regents can stop pretending to not be paying attention. I saw Valda smirk and the waitress returned with our food. I ate even as the last normal people left and the regent by the door closed up.

The others turned to us and I ate casually, talking with them and getting my answers about Claire. I closed my eyes and asked if they'd tried to transfer the artifact's effects to a cancer patient close to death while paying the family for their sacrifice. As gruesome as it was, they'd be left with something and Claire would've had a normal life. I told them I wasn't even impressed with the warehouse or it's security, let alone the firewalls on their computer system which were child's play.

I told them I'd take Claire's place and attempt to control it. I suggested a padded cell with gas vents and three foot thick titanium doors with neutralizer covering the inside and outside along with neutralizer lights. They said they couldn't risk it with my immortality and immunity to most weapons. I told them the same artifacts that made me immortal can unmake me so I'd give them the arrow that can kill me if all else goes wrong.

I told them I doubted it would because the painting protects my soul and soothes my inner turmoil mostly. Benedict Valda asked if I thought I could control a power from an artifact that is inherently uncontrollable. I scoffed and made it rain above him while I sipped my coffee. He was unamused, but I made it stop with a thought saying. "I've spent years honing my control over my emotions and state of mind so I didn't destroy the world's weather systems and send humanity into another ice age. I doubt one artifact, even one with dark powers and malevolent intentions could break my control now."

I finished my coffee and told him as I cleaned up and paid the waitress regent. "Even if it does, that's what the security measures are for. I'm not afraid to die mister Valda, I never have been, but I'll be dead damned and buried before I allow Claire to suffer in the state she's in a moment longer than necessary. I may not love her anymore, but she is and always will be my friend and that is worth dying for to me."

I got up and dried him off with a warm breeze before saying I'd wait outside while they deliberate and contact their leaders since I didn't see the guardian, the keeper or others I knew to be regents amongst them. I sat on the hood of my car and lit a joint while they talked. When Miss Frederic came out, she frowned at the joint and asked if I had a drug problem. I snorted lightly. "We both know you're older than prohibition so spare me the judgement. After all, if I fail I'll be dead soon so what do you care?"

She sighed saying that was fair enough before taking a hit and sighing. "They've agreed, but they have conditions."

I grunted. "I figured as much. So, what hoops do I have to jump through?"

She answered easily. "All the artifacts besides the one you made and the painting will go to the warehouse."

I waved her off. "Done, what else?"

She sighed. "You'll become an agent-"

I growled. "I will not answer to the fucking thieves who stole from me-"

She cut me off with a hand. "Let me finish. If you survive, you'll become an agent answerable only to myself and the regents. You'll have the same position as Artie considering your years of experience and proficiency in artifact retrieval rate. While you're at the warehouse you'll be responsible for upgrading our systems, security and everything you can think of."

I took the joint back and huffed before sighing. "Acceptable."

Valda came out and spoke from the door. "Should you survive and after a year's probationary period done everything to ensure the warehouse's safety, you'll be required to become a regent and the next guardian, tying your immortal lifeforce to the warehouse's main defense."

I narrowed my eyes before telling him I don't do sitting on the sidelines judging others well. He shrugged saying I'd still keep my agent status and be able to retrieve artifacts if that's what I want. I grunted. "Is that all you've come up with then?"

He shook his head and said. "Your painting will become a storage for the truly dangerous artifacts like the Chinese Orchid and the artifact you made. Can't have apocalyptic artifacts where just about anyone can get to them, especially if we have a safer and more secure storage area for them."

I grunted. "So you'll tie me to the warehouse and milk every possible use from me assuming I survive, fine, so be it. If that's all you require, I have a single requirement of my own."

Days later I sat in my nearly empty vault covered in neutralizer while meditating. Claire was free now and taken by the regents to be filled in on things. I sat in deep meditation, forcing the chaos of my mind to adjust to the new chaos and malignant darkness that came with the telekinetic power I'd taken from Claire. Almost a full week passed before I walked out and showered.

A month passed after that while I was questioned and interrogated to try and provoke a violent response. I'd given the artifacts I had back to the warehouse that I'd taken and when I was released to become an agent, I walked in on Artie and Miss Frederic arguing over whether I belonged at the warehouse. I smiled lightly saying I smelled apples before asking if I wasn't wanted because I was just as happy not working with them.

Miss Frederic said no, that I was welcomed and despite other's protest, my deal with the regents stood. I grunted saying. "You mean they've held up their part and now they want me to hold up on mine? Don't worry, I don't go back on my word. Unlike some, I have honor. I keep my word even to the end."

I was handed a secret service badge, a Tesla and a Farnsworth. Less than an hour later HG Wells was free with McPherson and I'd broken Pete's nose for blaming me. I made sure none of the artifacts were missing and found Leena taking some glasses as Claudia. I knocked her out and took the thimble, carrying her to the office while the others and the newly reformed Artie after dying to with the Phoenix came in.

I told them Leena was using Harriet Tubman's thimble to look like Claudia. I told Artie I think she's under the control of McPherson through a pearl of wisdom. Claudia said that wasn't cool and I grunted, saying she didn't have a choice. I told her McPherson likely chose her and made Leena take her form because she was the newest so the rest would turn on her while he makes his escape.

I woke Leena up and choked her telling the others it had to be done. When Leena passed out, I stopped and cupped my hand at her ear. A pearl fell out into my hand and I put it in a box before contacting Miss Frederic. When she didn't answer, I grunted and walked to the umbilical door. They said it was destroyed, but I opened the door and held out a hand.

The fires went out and the umbilical rose up, repairing itself while they watched. When it was fully repaired without the bombs, I told them my control over the elements was useful sometimes. I told them it was safe and permanent, though it'd still have to be equipped with new bombs. We went outside and found Miss Frederic on the ground while her driver was dead in a crashed car.

We got Miss Frederic inside and I healed her body to their surprise. I grunted saying the human body is made of elements so it's easy to repair if you know how. Miss Frederic woke up and thanked me which I nodded to before telling her everything down to the pearl of wisdom and how he'd used it to control Leena while he was bronzed. I told her HG would come back for her imperseptor vest and the personal yet harmless items of hers in the Escher Vault.

I told them they'd need antimatter to power the vest and only CERN had it in any significant amount. They asked what McPherson would want with HG and I told them the second warehouse's location so he can plunder the items or the location of the old regent's clubhouse of sorts that had a portal back door into the warehouse for unlimited access. I told them he could want to destroy the world or sell off all the artifacts inside, regardless I wouldn't let it happen.

I closed my eyes and focused before collapsing into sand with the words that I'd take the second warehouse and guard the regent's sanctuary. I did just that, pulling the second warehouse into my painting before teleporting after a fashion to the sanctuary. I called Artie and told them I had the missing warehouse and was now at the regent's sanctuary in Shanghai, China. I told him to pass the Farnsworth to Miss Frederic.

When he did, I told her I'd take the regent's sanctuary, but I needed a place to put it because bad things would happen if I left it in the painting too long with it's connection to the current warehouse. She said she'd contact the regents and get back to me. I closed my Farnsworth and waited until she called. She told me where to move it and I did, appearing near her and the regents waiting in a swirl of sand.

I put the sanctuary there, moving dirt to make room and telling them how to unlock the sanctuary. I took the key Valda offered and he told me to bring the artifacts out to be stored and filed in the current warehouse. I shrugged when he said I'd have to unlock and put warehouse two back to sleep. I told him in the painted world I controlled everything down to the air they'd breathe so passing the trials of warehouse two and putting it to sleep would be child's play.

I told him I'd do it once McPherson and HG were stopped though so at least things would settle down before I go poking around a warehouse on lockdown. Sure enough HG and McPherson broke into the warehouse through a back entrance and made it to the Escher vault. I saved McPherson by removing the chemical in him that made his blood turn to acid and healed him.

As for Wells, she was stuck in a wind wall I'd made. I told her that I might have a way to bring her daughter back to life for her if she'd stop her actions against the world and the warehouse. I told her I'd only do it once and only if she swore never to attack the warehouse or the world again. She agreed and I released her.

She told me if I was lying, she knew how to kill me. I shrugged and told her to go bring her daughter's body here so I can repair it and use an artifact I swore I'd never use long ago. She left at near invisible speeds as the vest ran out of power by the time she reached the outside. Miss Frederic asked if I could really do it and I nodded. "Death isn't that scary when you know some have managed to master it. I'll need an artifact I'd sealed away a long time ago though and the regents word that they'd never let it be abused. Bad things happen when you break the natural laws of life and death so readily. The Phoenix is proof enough of that."

I told her to get their word while I retrieved the artifact. I turned into sand and came back with an Egyptian sarcophagus a couple hours later. Miss Frederic told me the regents agreed it would go in the painted world once it was used to settle HG's matters. When HG returned, Pete asked what was so special about the sarcophagus.

I grunted. "This sarcophagus belonged to the Pharaoh Atem over five thousand years ago. His body is inside and no, that's not what's special about it."

I touched the gold bracelets on the sarcophagus. "Each item here has power, all of them from the Pharaoh's time. Individually they can see the past and future, manipulate minds, control and summon the dead, give the user a pseudo immortality and even raise the dead or tear the souls out of the user's enemies and banish them to a hell realm worse than your darkest nightmares."

I sighed. "The pharaoh held just one of these items during his reign and before his death he collected them all, sealing them away so Egypt need never fear their abuse."

I tapped the millennium puzzle. "That is what the pharaoh wore, but it isn't what we'll be using."

I took the bracelet off and grunted. "These are. They're called the millennium bracelets and they hold all the powers of every millennium item as they were called back then. With them you could master Death and rule the world as a dark god of nightmares."

I turned to HG. "They will be agonizing and leave a brand, tying the girl to them for all time. When she dies, if she dies, her soul will be pulled into the duat and reincarnated like the pharaohs. If she had a past life she will see them all as dreams or nightmares if they ended badly. Like with all artifacts there is a cost to doing this after all."

HG said she didn't care and I grunted. "So be it, though I must warn you these were owned by Atem's brother who died violently. The odds are good she'll remember his death and have nightmares about it for a time. He was mummified alive and I do mean that brutally."

I handed them to her and went to the coffin she'd brought. "They can only be used once per living person. If someone else puts them on they won't work at all. For her entire life she will be the only one capable of using them and once used they will be locked away because their power is by far the most dangerous this world has ever seen."

I lifted the casket lid and sighed seeing the bones. I held up my hands and gathered the elements, repairing and restoring the body they all belonged to. Once it was done, HG said her name and I shook my head. "This is just her body. You must put the bracelets on her and speak her name in her ear to call her soul forth and bring life to it. The experience will not be pleasant for her so be prepared."

She did so and we watched as the girl woke up screaming. The bracelets glowed and burning flesh was smelled. When it was over, the girl fainted and I removed the bracelets, putting them back on the sarcophagus before making it vanish. As for the girl, she had the eye mark branded on her wrists in black.

I tended to the flesh with the elements to heal her, but even I couldn't remove the marks now. I told HG to take her out of the casket and put her in some suitable clothes before putting her in Artie's bed until she wakes up. I looked at the girl and closed my eyes, making clothes from the elements. I put them in HG's hands and told her we'd give her some privacy.

We did just that and Miss Frederic asked me how bad it would be. I grunted and told her the girl would need counseling and she should never be allowed to hold the bracelets, but besides that, she should be fine. I told her the records of the artifacts state they once housed a malevolent entity, but it was destroyed by the pharaoh.

Pete asked why the Pharaoh's brother was killed and I grunted. "The brother killed the previous pharaoh, their father, for making the item by pouring burning liquid gold over the boy's wrists. His pain and rage lashed out and the father didn't survive. His brother was forced to hunt him down and punish him with Egypt's most brutal laws to secure his own place on the throne. Both were just kids at the time and neither deserved their deaths. As for the malevolent entity, it was destroyed and the result weakened the pharaoh and ended in his death, but all the millennium artifacts were said to have been purified in the process. Still, they were far too dangerous to be allowed out in the world."

I leaned against the guard rail and told them I'd had the pleasure to meet a descendant of the pharaoh and it had become a family legacy for them to guard it for all time. Claudia asked how I got it then and I grunted. "He was the last of his bloodline and he only told me the story because I'd saved his life. He asked me to take over protecting it in the valley of the kings just before he died from a gunshot by some rebels starting shit in Cairo a few years back. It's one of the many secrets I protect and why I don't much trust people like Artie who use artifacts to steal from non threatening people."

Artie ruffled saying he'd apologized already. I shrugged and told him it was only because it was my one condition the regents had to agree to for me to work here. When HG was done and her daughter was resting in bed, I brought her a cup of coffee and told her I knew the pain her daughter was going through. She looked at me curiously and I moved my shirt collar down, showing the brand of the millennium necklace as a side effect of this world. "As the guardian of those artifacts I had to go through a ceremony. I saw my past lives and many potential future roads I could walk. The experience fades with time and the pain is long gone. She may be scared and tired, but she's not in anymore pain, not really."

Artie brought in a dream catcher and told us we could see what she's dreaming. I asked if he had anything for dreamless sleeping. He shook his head saying nothing that doesn't come with an unpleasant or nasty side effect. I took the dream catcher and handed it to HG, telling her it might help her to know what's wrong and how to help. She used it and we watched in the dream catcher as Christina's past and future lives flashed by.

When it calmed down, we watched and I remembered as the pharaoh burned the bracelets on. Christina thrashed and we got audio as Anhur banished the pharaoh to the shadow realm of nightmares. The dream blurred as Helena sang to Christina and calmed her down. I rubbed my wrists during the vision and Pete caught it.

He asked what the deal was and I told him it was none of his business. The dream changed to a good one of Helena and her daughter riding horses and singing at a picnic until it shifted to the nightmare of her own violent death. I grimaced and told HG she needed to hire a therapist for her daughter or have the regents provide one. I told her where the mansion was and that I'd move out, but she and her daughter were welcome to move in if she chose to stay and be an agent again.

I told her that I'd be moving into the B&B anyways so it might as well be put to use instead of being sold to some rich snob. She thanked me and said she'd figure it out once the regents and her speak to decide her fate. I shrugged and wished her luck before telling Miss Frederic I'd be back later with the tech from my place to upgrade the warehouse. I told her I might as well move now and get started since I don't have an artifact to hunt at the moment.

Miss Frederic agreed and I set out to move and get what I needed while ordering furniture and stuff for the mansion. A few days later HG and Christina Wells both moved into the mansion after a review and some monitoring by the regents. Christina was enrolled in school and had a live in child therapist and nanny. HG returned to working at the warehouse and for now she was partnered with Pete since I was still on probation myself.

Pete brought up his suspicions more than once and eventually it caused issues since I was Partnered with Myka for now and they talked. Myka bugged me and eventually I told her Anhur was a past life of mine I'd seen with the millennium necklace. I told her that everything Christina felt was a memory of my past I'd rather not talk about, ever. I told her there was a reason our souls didn't remember our past lives, so we could become better people free of the past.

I told her Anhur was just one of many lives I'd lived and I remembered every one of them so no, I wasn't going to have a sharing moment with her. She told the others after we retrieved the molecular manipulating shorts from a would be vigilante. Myka wore the suit Claudia gave her and smirked when she got the trunks off the guy. I asked her if that was the first time she'd had an orgasm while taking off a man's trunks.

She tried to deny it and I just left it to Pete to mess with her. I muttered as I left that sterility was the least of Pete's worries and might be a blessing at this point to spare the gene pool. Claudia said it was a sick burn and asked for a high five. I grunted and gave her one before asking how Claire was. She told me Claire was adjusting, slowly and didn't want to see me.

She said Claire's reasoning was she had to put the past behind her like I'd managed to do and to do that she had to start fresh in San Francisco. I sighed and apologized to Claudia who said it was no biggie since she Skyped with her and Joshua daily. She said Claire was settling in fine and Joshua went to see her recently so they were both adjusting well. I grunted and watched Pete catch Myka who shivered.

I told him side effects may include random O factors and the constant need for water until she's back to normal as her body fixes itself. Pete said she was lucky and I shrugged saying he could put it on and I'm sure HG would wear the trunks if only so when he was done the gene pool would be one idiot safer. HG said she'd pass and that with his eating skills he would fumble it on his own. I smirked and went to put the trunks away.

We left Chicago and I got to work replacing the old computer system. When I found an issue, I sent Artie to get the old employee dumb enough to use the zoetrope to transfer his mind into the warehouse's security system. Once we fixed him, I removed the computer lab entirely and the warehouse adjusted while I went back to work. Soon the main office hats several advancements including a high tech computer system.

I'd gutted the whole thing of wires and replaced it with a chip. Soon their computer system was hooked up to my satellite surveillance network. I added the football and FISH's systems and turned it all over to them, setting up their personal computers and going to add all the cold cases, personnel records and all hard copies to the digital age. Once they were up and running, I built in my own firewall so the system was far more secure.

When Claudia saw what all I'd done, she asked me to marry her. I grunted and told her I was too old for her and immortal so I'd have to watch her she and die eventually and that wasn't fair to either of us, so no. I pulled all the wires and upgraded every terminal as well. I finished the old tech by upgrading the neutralizer processing plant. That was very unfun and one hell of a headache to boot.

Still, once it was done no crazy string was getting in it and it was self cleaning so it saved everyone a bad job of keeping it cleaned. I cleaned and shelved all the artifacts, adding a more automated system to things. The shelves were replaced isle by isle and the artifacts were stored in bullet proof glass with neutralizer lights and pumps hooked up to it. The new solar generators from the company were installed and the warehouse roof was covered in panels.

Soon it was off the power grid entirely which was a great thing. Solar power cells were charged and stored up energy so eventually there was a sub basement full of charged power cells as a backup system. I spent most of my time replacing shelves, itemizing and updating records and securing the artifacts in far safer ways. The artifacts were repaired if broken like the projectors and stored away safely.

As for the rodent and bug problems, those ended quickly once there was nothing for them to chew on. I found the Pete cave as he called it and ignored it while I worked to upgrade the warehouse. When I wasn't upgrading the warehouse from the ground up, I was out in the field with Myka. The latest being a ladle made from a Norse legend that gave people berserker like strength.

We took it and arrested a scientist invested in the company using it in their muscle juice. Claudia was on the job with us as her first time out so there was that. Claudia and my next case was a Mata Hari stalkings artifact while Pete and HG were swapping bodies and Myka was at a reunion of some sort. We got the artifact easily enough and I learned Claudia had rejected a normal nerdy boyfriend.

I told her she should go for it because I was serious in that I wouldn't be a good fit for her or anyone even if I wasn't immortal. She told me to get over myself before asking why I wouldn't be a good fit. I told her I had secrets and not anyone could be with me and not expect me to share. I told her my secrets were dangerous and some were far worse than warehouse level dangerous.

I told her that my secrets were just as life altering as the warehouse and even if I could find someone that'd understand, the only way to get rid of my immortality would be to kill me so it was a moot topic. I told her I sealed my fate and I wouldn't subject another to suffering with my issues and claim it was love. We packed up and left with the stockings and along the way back she asked if someone could look passed my secrets and not care about the immortality then I'd be free.

I told her that was a tall and impossible order before suggesting she find Fargo or the computer parts store guy since their lives are less complicated. She said Fargo was cute and definitely her speed, but he was too nerdy even for her. As for the store guy, she'd looked him up on the new computers and found he was in protective custody hiding from the mob so while he was smart, sexy and dangerous enough, she sort of had a thing for someone else. I chuckled and asked if it was Pete because if it was Artie I might mentally laugh to death.

She slugged my shoulder and called me a dumbass saying no, it wasn't either of them. I sighed when she went to speak, saying. "Don't. It's safer if you don't. Let it go, find someone who is less complicated and-"

She kissed me and asked. "Safer?"

I growled low. "You'll regret it. I'll hurt you in a big non physical way eventually Claudia. My life is complicated-"

She told me to just shut up and kissed me again. A block away I pulled over into a hotel and we worked through the physical. She'd been a virgin and it sucked at first, but after a while we'd worked past it. She hummed and stuck her feet out the window while leaning against my side and holding my arm around her while I drove us back.

She got what she wanted and more than she expected, but in the end she had me for now. I'd warned her that it wouldn't end well for either of us and I'd disappoint her eventually. She replied that I certainly hadn't disappointed her yet and all that mattered to her was the now for now. Soon enough the clerk at the computer parts store was moved by his handler and I'd noticed.

I asked Claudia if she had anything to do with it and she said maybe she wanted me to know she was all in. I groaned and she told me to shush because she needed smooches. I huffed and kissed her, pulling her grabbing her ass, picking her up while she wrapped her legs around my waist. We were interrupted by Artie and I went back to upgrading shelves while he scolded her for choosing me of all people.

I found out why he didn't like me much because he suspected I'd killed several people in Russia for artifacts I'd turned over including a piece of the titanic and a chain from the Spanish Inquisition. When Claudia asked me about it, I told her the full truth about the artifacts and Artie's past. I told her I'd gotten into his files and tracked them all down, stealing them all, but I hadn't killed anyone for anything in this lifetime.

She knew about my past lives, particularly each and every life I'd lived including Anhur so she asked if it was possible they were ganked by someone afterwards. I told her it was and highly likely it was one of the people I stole from or their relatives. I told her only Artie would know who would be after the artifacts because he knew their motives while I just knew their names and addresses. When an NSA agent was killed next, the guy who did it was shock dead by other agents it turned out to be Artie's Russian contact's son looking for revenge.

Artie genuinely apologized to me then and I shrugged saying I hadn't cared to start with. I told him that I may work with him, but I don't work for him and I don't care what his opinion of me is. I told him I hadn't liked him since the day he lied to my face about Claire's death so I couldn't care less what he thinks of me. I dropped the matter and told Claudia I was going back to work so she should as well.

Soon enough Rebecca Saintclair showed up at the B&B wanting us to find the glass knife. She mentioned the artifact and the time differential so HG told them about the time machine and I explained how I found the knife. I told Artie that if we don't send Pete and Myka back it would violate causality and things would go very badly if that's what was supposed to happen.

He asked what's the worst that could happen and I asked him. "Theoretically? A tear in the space-time continuum that forms into a black hole and swallows the planet starting with all of us and the warehouse as an appetizer. Then again we'd be too dead to know how it turns out because as soon as it formed we'd be the first things sucked in. It would encompass the planet then suck in the solar system, tearing a hole in the fabric of reality and ending all life in the universe. I'm thinking we'd have a lot of pissed off aliens who hate our guts if we ignore this one. But then they'd be dead to do it's really not your call."

He said it was and I told him it wasn't considering the implications. I told him if he said no I'd contact Miss Frederic and the regents to get a yes because I wasn't about to die in a black hole. Assuming it could kill me which I really hoped it could because living in the void between fucked and a dead reality wasn't really my plan for the future. He asked if I wasn't being a little dramatic and I told him hell no, I was just highly intelligent and knew the odds of it actually happening was pretty damned high. I told him even trek nerds knew better than to fuck with time travel and violating the laws of physics so egregiously.