Chapter 52

"Let me go," a haunted voice hummed in Karma's ear. "Let me go, Karma-kun."

Karma woke up in a cold sweat. He withheld the gasp for air though, because right there, tangled with his limbs, was Gakushuu, sleeping peacefully.

It had been a fight to get Gakushuu to come with Karma instead of back to Gakuhou's place after he was released from the hospital. It was only resolved when Gakushuu walked out, not even sparing Gakuhou a single glance, and telling Karma that he was ready to go back home.

Karma enjoyed the stricken expression on Gakuhou's face immensely. Gakushuu stiffened though, which was what mattered, and Karma guided him as far away from Gakuhou as possible.

Gakushuu was weak to affection and he did not want that resolution to take place, when Gakushuu was weak, and needed support and a steady environment than yet another conflict.

Gakuhou was far too good at creating them and Gakushuu was far too good at coming out the other side looking like the sole victor even when all he needed was maybe a hand on his shoulder as a show of silent support from his father.

At a fucking minimum.

Because Gakushuu deserved so much more, and all Gakuhou had done was destroy his son's life.

He wasn't more than a slightly more influential gutter trash, in Karma's opinion. If he was up to playing in a bigger field, he would have used the military and Koro-sensei's secret more ruthlessly, but it was better not to reveal himself so easily.

He didn't want to get swallowed up, after all. But he made sure to shoot the man a glare with his murderous intent, in case he forgot what Karma's side profession was now.

Gakushuu murmured something under his breath, his body adjusting in response to Karma's wakefulness, but he didn't wake up.

Karma sighed in relief.

He relaxed back into his pillow, he turned to face Gakushuu's relaxed face. He let his lips rest against Gakushuu's forehead, and smiled unconsciously when Gakushuu let out a soft sigh, even in his sleep, in response.

He was fine, after his concussion was gone, and Karma had gained a new fear of concussion and an annoying suspicion that Koro-sensei knew something about Gakushuu that he didn't.

He didn't push, but boy would he kill to know what was going on, because seeing Gakushuu like that had scared him.

He wanted to fill Gakushuu with so many memories of him that he would never forget Karma, that he would never look at Karma and think of anything but him and how much Gakushuu loved him.

He wouldn't be able to stand Gakushuu looking at Karma with that faint affection of someone you once liked but not anymore.

Karma would keep Gakushuu.

He wouldn't let him go to anyone, for anything.

(Hours later, Gakushuu bribed a pouting Karma with kisses to let him go back and get his things from his room in Gakuhou's house.

Karma wrinkled his nose and went to school.

Gakushuu laughed, tapping his nose like he was a naughty cat.)

"Kayano is Yukimura-sensei's sister," Karma interrupted his self imposed silence to say aloud.

Gakushuu, who had been catching up on his missed work, flicked his eyes away from his work laid out in front of him, to Karma who was sitting on the couch and staring at the ceiling blankly.

Then he silently considered the words Karma and just told Gakushuu. He hadn't known about Yukimura's sister, but he hadn't expected her to be involved at all, considering she was an actress and she hadn't been expected to know anything at all, in the first place.

"She must have been beyond upset by her beloved sister dying. Did she come for revenge?" He asked, already aware of the answer. Karma frowned silently.

"... she did. She inserted herself with the tentacles and tried a suicide-murder," he frowned harder. Gakushuu finished up his homework sheet and placed it inside a folder.

"Sounds familiar," he deadpanned. "Also, I assume she went to the hospital?"

"She did," Karma responded, turning to face Gakushuu, his head resting on his arm on the back of the couch.

Gakushuu sighed.

"So what's wrong?" Then his lips twitched, "-aside from everything," he added, amused by his own words.

Karma, like every single opportunity before, ignored the teasing he could do with it. Instead, he stared at Gakushuu seriously.

"Koro-sensei wasn't an innocent person. He killed thousands of people, and he killed them in cold blood. He doesn't have morals, so he doesn't teach us any. He lets us do what we want because he wants us to be free, and he teaches us how to get what we want, by any means necessary."

Gakushuu listened to Karma silently.

"He's not a good man," he repeated quietly.

"But?" Gakushuu urged when the silence went on too long. Karma didn't startle, just stared off grimly.

"But he taught us ," Karma said softly. "He cared for us, let us make pivotal decisions about our own lives and helped us resolve it. He fixed our lives…"

"... and he's about to leave it," Gakushuu ended for Karma.

"He wants to leave it," Karma corrected. "We were always meant to be his assassins, and he was always meant to be our target. He didn't run from us, and he handed us weapons, polished them himself and placed them in our hands, so we could aim it at him."

"He wants to die," he reaffirmed, to himself, to Gakushuu.

"He wants to die to your hands," Gakushuu corrected him gently. Karma looked at Gakushuu, startled.

Gakushuu took a breath to restrain himself, when he saw the pain in Karma's eyes.

"Koro-sensei chose to be exactly where he is, and he let his life rest in your hands. His death is inevitable, and he wants to die to you, who truly cared for him, to your class, who was supposed to be Yukimura's class."

"The truth is," he wanted to close his eyes to the pain he might cause, "Koro-sensei could have fixed every single student in his class, but he would never have let any of you fix his. He doesn't have a life. He can't have a life. All he has left…is all of you."

Karma looked stricken.

He had never considered a future for Koro-sensei, who was an inhuman entity in their world. Koro-sensei who was kind, faulty, but treated them with care that came from the bottom of their heart. Koro-sensei, who wasn't human, but was so full of love, that they couldn't help but forget his appearance when he was so humane.

Koro-sensei who looked at them objectively and still pulled them up when they inevitably messed up.

They could only see Koro-sensei as their teacher. It was hard to see him as someone who lived his own life, did his own things, aside from being their Koro-sensei who was always up at the hill behind the school.

Koro-sensei had always been someone who was rejected by society. As a human, and as a being made of antimatter.

Karma bowed his head, his eyes hidden by his bangs.

Gakushuu casually turned back to his studies. He set a paper in front of him and tried his best to focus on it.

Karma didn't move for the next half an hour.

The final semester was mostly to review everything they studied in preparation of the high school entrance exams by teachers, and it could involve studying through the winter holidays, if needed.

Gakuhou had been willing to take advantage of this to set a gruelling pace for the class A students so they could study till their Graduation, by which point they would be used to studying so many hours and their exams would probably go excellently.

Thankfully, Gakuhou seemed set on rehauling himself and fixing his relationship with Gakushuu for some reason…if only he could find his son, that is.

He spent his nights in Karma's and Gakuhou wasn't allowed to pick his son up from what looked to be his future son-in-law's house. Aside from that and school, Gakushuu disappeared.

Gakuhou had no idea what Gakushuu was doing. He probed subtly but Gakushuu rebuffed him hard enough that pushing would only worsen their already deteriorated relationship.

But Gakuhou wanted to spend time with his son, so.

Gakushuu and Gakuhou were sitting in a restaurant, wearing perfectly pressed suits, and eating. Gakushuu cut into his steak (that Gakuhou ordered) and ate it with the manners that Gakuhou himself had taught him.

Gakuhou felt pride and an inkling that maybe this was also the wrong method of reconciliation with his son. Gakushuu's phone didn't do anything as inane as ring, but Gakuhou could tell from the slight pause that Gakushuu took that someone important (probably Karma, or maybe Sakakibara or another one of his classmates) was calling or messaging him.

Gakushuu wanted to check his phone.

Gakuhou dropped his utensil on his plate.

"I think this is enough for the evening, Gakushuu," he sighed. Gakushuu looked up mid-cut, surprised.

"It's alright, father. We should finish our meal," he said politely. Just another attitude that Gakuhou had tacitly approved of.

Gakuhou already felt exhausted. He stood up.

"If you feel like eating, you can finish the meal. I will be leaving now," he informed his son.

Gakushuu blinked, then he dropped his head into a slow nod, his eyes wary as he looked at his father.

"... good night, father," Gakushuu said.

"Good night, son," Gakuhou said, ignoring the flinch Gakushuu gave in response to the term he used.

He hadn't used the term in a while. It was an excusable reaction, in fact, it was an obvious reaction…but it didn't mean that Gakuhou didn't feel his heart drop at the reaction nonetheless.

He stoically paid for their meal, and walked to the elevator alone, and then down to his car.

.

.

.

Gakushuu didn't come to the parking area for half an hour, and Gakuhou drove away before it became an hour.

Karma gave Gakushuu an awkward, stiff smile.

"Sorry, Shuu. I won't be able to meet you for a while," he didn't explain his ruffled clothes, the dirt on his face or the expression of sheer relief that Gakushuu could almost feel permeate from Karma.

"Okay," he agreed, resting his hand on Karma's cheek. "Should I take care of the cats?" He asked.

Karma laid his hand over Gakushuu, turning his head to kiss his palm.

"Please," he requested, closing his eyes in relief at Gakushuu's agreeable attitude.

Gakushuu pulled his hand away from Karma's face, and grasped his hand instead. He leaned up, just slightly, to kiss Karma's lips, and absently noted that Karma had already broken their same height streak they had going.

"Okay," he repeated against his lips. "Work hard," he encouraged.

Karma's eyes fluttered, his red lashes coming in contrast with his skin. He smiled.

"I will," he promised Gakushuu.

He promised himself.