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Lemon Collection

This is my lemon collection. Would you like to have a sample? It is totally free to try! Come, let me make you a glass. Some lemons are sweet. Some are bitter. Some are rotten. And some are stolen from the stand next door and remixed for your pleasure! But don’t worry about all of that. It is all part of the fiction. Please, come over and have a glass. I have made more than a dozen for you to choose. Since I am such an idiot, I am not sure which glass is full and which glass is empty. The glasses are not even placed in order on the table, so please have a check of the volume before enjoying your drink. Who knows, you might find something interesting. If you love my work, you can commission another piece, to be added to your glass. If you don’t want to, please enjoy while it last! This is my lemon collection, come, come and have a look! Have a drink, it’s totally free! Just don’t get too addicted, because that will not be healthy for you! By the way, no kids are allowed! ******************************** If you didn’t understand all of that, it means that this is my fanfiction collection over the years. Some of them are completed – usually one-shots. Some of them are not – most aren’t. Some of them will make you vomit from disgust. Some are parodied, basing on another story I read somewhere. It is totally fine to parody or rewrite another fanfiction, so don’t b*tch about it. Please read the volume title before you b*tch about why the story just abruptly stopped. And if you want more chapters, you can commission it by becoming my patron. Use my penname to search. ******************************** Disclaimer: This collection contains graphical violence and sex scenes. Absolutely no children allowed to drink my lemon! Fanfiction: Naruto. Harry Potter. Fate Stay Night. Disney, and so on… ******************************** Discord Server: https://discord.gg/ffazvKp

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122 Chs

Twisted Tales: Rapunzel – 01

The soldiers flinched when Naruto handed them the crown.

"What?" he asked, completely unfazed by the new crimson coating upon golden surface.

"It's just a bit bloody, that's all. You can wash it right off – like this."

His fingers and thumb smeared the blood and removed the gore, revealing the precious metal masked by them.

The nonchalant act horrified the soldiers further.

They had never encountered a person who treated death so lightly, and from the aftermath evidently in front of them, they never wanted to see him again.

"A bit…"

The captain muttered and reluctantly took the offered crown up by its tip.

Even if it belonged to the lost princess, the King and Queen would have his head for this.

He obviously needed to make sure all that knew were silenced – somehow.

Dead men tell no tales!

"I got the stolen crown back, killed the culprit along with a bunch of criminals… can I have my rewards now? There is a reward, right? The bounty poster said so. See? Right here," Naruto said and pointed at the poster with a huge red capital letter saying "reward" on it.

The young man on the poster was a very handsome devil with a nice trimmed goatee.

Too bad his head was carved in and became a bloody mess.

The bounty did say it was dead or alive.

Dead was easier.

For instant, they didn't try to escape.

Once the captain bundled the small crown for safe transport, he nodded and gestured one of his men forwards while remaining steadfast.

He took a bag of gold from the soldier and tossed it to the blond with deep blue eyes.

"I hope there will be no more dealing between us."

"Eh? Why? I thought it's a good transaction," Naruto said and holstered his double-sided axe around his back.

He tilted his head to the establishment with its wooden door smashed in.

Inside were reeked with blood, requiring the whole building to be burned as soon as possible.

"It was," the captain agreed. "But we do try to capture them alive whenever possible."

"I did try," Naruto said with a sigh.

"I politely asked all of them to shut up and line up against the wall, so I could tie them up. Instead of doing that, they shouted profanity and attacked me. I retaliated. It's only fair. I'm not going to stand there and get butchered. That hurts, you know."

Everyone was shocked.

From his expression, Naruto honestly believed something like that would work.

But after some thoughts on their part, they supposed there was no way to capture thieves without a fight.

How he managed to kill them all without a scratch on his person was beyond them.

Even the most seasoned knight would have a difficult time fighting that many men.

Perhaps he was that good.

"Also, the criminals around here are weird," Naruto added and weighted the bag of gold in his hand.

It wasn't a lot, but it wasn't a small amount either.

He could pay for a nice room in nearby town instead of sleeping with nature all the times.

He could buy some warm, fulfilling grubs as well.

And if he had some left, maybe he could get some nightly companion. It had been a while.

"Really weird," Naruto asserted.

The weird one was him, but the captain digressed to save himself from a headache.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah," Naruto responded and scratched his head.

"They were all kind of singings, dancing and stuffs in broad daylight. Whack jobs. And if everyone does that all the time around here, I might go insane. I mean more insane – insaner? Not saying that I am. I'm sane, really I am."

"The more you said it, the more you aren't," a deep voice called out in his mind.

"Oh shut up, furball! I swear if I knew this would happen, I wouldn't kill and eat you. Okay, I would still kill you though."

"Yeah, thanks for that," Kurama responded, making Naruto winced in annoyance.

He didn't do anything wrong.

There was a giant fox roaming the area, causing troubles for the population.

Knowing that, it had to die.

Killing a titanic monster was the right thing to do and leaving a huge rotting corpse in the open was such a waste.

It was a good kill after all, and he was mightily hungry at the time.

He decided to cook and eat it, and now he was possessed by its spirit.

Karma! Naruto cursed under his breath.

His expression changed returned to normal after a handful of seconds.

"I think I will be one too if I kept talking to you," the captain said and gestured his men to leave, but not before they'd burned the corpses along with the establishment.

With the act, the isolated hangout for thieves and ruffians no longer existed in the world.

Those that still remembered The Snuggly Duckling became a mere handful, and in a few more decades, none would recall it anymore.

No one would, except for Naruto.

He remembered everything.

"Weird people," Naruto said after the soldiers headed back to their Kingdom.

He gave a light shrug and continued his way.