NACHO

Jimmy is anxious about Nacho's plot to extort the Kettlemans.Saul fills up a cup of cucumber water and mixes it with vodka. He takes a sip then pulls out the matchbook with Nacho's number on it. He hesitates then presses call.

FEMALE VOICE: Hello?

SAUL: Hey. It's me.

Its Kim Wexler, an acquaintance at HHM, which represents the Kettlemans.

KIM: Jimmy? What's… Jesus, what time is it?

SAUL: The clock says 2, but I think that might be Ho Chi Minh's timezone.

KIM: What? What's happening? Is Chuck alright?

SAUL: Yeah. Chuck… Chuck is Chuck. Everything's alright. But I just wanted to call you, so, uh… hey, what ya doin'?

KIM: Jimmy. No. I'm not talking dirty to you.

SAUL: What? You think that's the only reason that I'd call you at this time of night? I mean can you just give me a little bit of credit, ok?

KIM: And you're not talking dirty to me either.

SAUL: OK, bye.

KIM: I knew it.

SAUL: Uh, joking. Just joking having fun with you. I am calling you tonight with quality PG phone conversation. PG-13 at worst.Hey, more for me. You're, uh, probably swamped with work anyways, what, with that big, fat, giant case falling right into your lap.

KIM: Which case is that?

SAUL: I don't know, some, uh, some county official or something? It was all in the papers.

KIM: Craig Kettleman.

SAUL: Craig Kettleman! The primo client your dipwad boss stole right out from under me.

KIM: Nobody stole anybody. The Kettlemans made a choice.

SAUL: Hey, how much exactly did Kettleman get away with?

KIM: Uh, excuse me, innocent until proven guilty?

SAUL: He got away with $1 million, $1.6 million, at least?

KIM: I'm not talking details of the case with you, goodnight.

SAUL: Where do you stash all that dough? I mean, besides for buying that idiotic boat. Hello! Guilty!

KIM: Hanging up now.

SAUL: This guy, he's probably a target. Somebody might get some bad, bad ideas. You know, if Kettleman isn't careful with that money, I mean, his whole family could be in danger.

KIM: What do you mean "danger"? Jimmy, why would you say that?

SAUL: What?

KIM: You said the family might be in danger.

SAUL: I did? I, oh, I, uh… I'm drunk. So I'm just, uh, thinking out loud. I'm up spinning, uh, spinning thoughts,Goodnight,

KIM: Goodnight, Jimmy.

They hang up.

SAUL (to himself): I'm no hero.

Jimmy indirectly warns Kim about the potential danger to the Kettlemans, but then breaks off the call,Later that night, Jimmy calls the Kettlemans anonymously and warns them. The Kettlemans look outside and see somebody in a parked van watching them.

The next morning, Kim tells Jimmy that something has happened to the Kettlemans. He rushes to their house to find it surrounded by police, and finds out the Kettlemans, including their two children, are missing. Believing that Nacho has kidnapped them, Jimmy tries to call Nacho, but receives only his voicemail greeting. While waiting for Nacho to call back, Jimmy is picked up by the police, who tell him they have arrested Nacho on suspicion of kidnapping the Kettlemans, and he has requested Jimmy as his legal counsel.

SAUL: Hey! You asked for me, and I have come. I gotta tell you, this was a wise move. Very smart. Because I'm here to help everyone, all parties, but mostly you. Uh, those two detectives - they just gave me an earful. And what they were telling me is it's problematic. I'm gonna pitch it back to you so I know we're on the same page. A neighbor lady saw a suspicious van parked across the street from the Kettlemans' house two nights in a row. She wrote down the license plate. It was your license plate. Cops tracked your van and you, searched it, and found blood on the floor. So. Here we are. They're calling the FBI in on this, which makes it federal. That's a bad thing, Nacho. That's that's very bad, but if you tell me where the family is, if if you give them up now Full cooperation, deep remorse I feel very good about knocking your sentence down to the minimum 18 years. They take this good-behavior thing very seriously, so start here, right here. Tell me the family is okay. Tell me the kids are okay. You want to tell me your thoughts and weigh in? Does this sound like a plan that you can get behind?

NACHO: You miserable piece of shit. You set me up.

SAUL: I what?

NACHO: You gave my score to another crew, and now you're setting me up.

SAUL: I... what? The what? Did the cops beat you? 'Cause you're talking like a person with head trauma.

NACHO: You think you're funny?

SAUL: What are you saying? Are you saying that you had nothing to do with this? That was your van outside the house. You weren't there?

NACHO: Yeah, I was there. I was casing the place, figuring out the best way in and out, what time they went to bed all that. They were fine when I left. That's it.

SAUL: You had nothing to do with the Kettlemans?

NACHO: I was never in the house.

SAUL: What about the blood in your van?

NACHO: They DNA my ride, all they're gonna find is the blood of your skate-rat twins, plus whatever piss and shit you leaked out when you were in there. Nobody's been in the back of that van since.

SAUL: I don't understand.

NACHO: Here's what I understand, counselor. I told my plan to one other person. One. You. Now here I am, under arrest. Go figure.

SAUL: I don't know anything about a setup or another crew.

NACHO: You know what? I don't even care. The cops are out there right now, poking into my business, and if they find something on me or my partners, for real, it's gonna be bad for you. Really bad.

SAUL: Bad? Bad, as in...

NACHO: You get me out of here, today or you're a dead man.

Jimmy is unsuccessful at persuading the police to release Nacho, but convinces Kim to take him to the Kettleman house so he can investigate. Jimmy notices some inconsistencies, such as a missing child's doll, and theorizes that the Kettlemans staged their kidnapping. Jimmy admits to Kim that he warned the Kettlemans about Nacho and probably drove them into hiding.

At the courthouse, Jimmy starts a fight with Mike, who subdues him. The police ask Mike to press assault charges against Jimmy so that they can leverage him to testify against Nacho. Mike takes Jimmy's side and refuses to press charges. He suggests that Jimmy's theory MIKE: Look, I'm going back to work. Why don't you quit while you're ahead and go on your way?

SAUL: No, I refuse to believe it's because you have something resembling a heart inside your body.

MIKE: You're not gonna have a heart inside your body in about five seconds.

SAUL: Okay, don't tell me, all right? I already know why you did it.

MIKE: Yeah? Why is that?

SAUL: 'Cause you believe me. That family kidnapped themselves.

MIKE: All right, I believe you.

SAUL: I knew it! I knew it! Finally, someone believes me! Why do you believe me?

MIKE: I heard the details. Your story makes sense.

SAUL: Of course it does! But (snaps fingers) Devil's advocate like the cops said, uh, the Kettlemans' cars are still at their house. There's no record of them leaving. How'd they get out of the country?

MIKE: They didn't. Odds are, they didn't get out of their neighborhood.

SAUL: What? What? They... come again?

MIKE: Look when I was still on the job back in Philly, we had this case

SAUL: Whoa, hold up. Hold up. Now, wait. "On the job," as in you were a cop on the job?

MIKE: This bookie disappeared after the Super Bowl. Cowboys/Steelers. Took $6 million in bets and skipped town when things didn't go his way. Now, everybody thought he was on the beach in the Bahamas or dead in the Jersey pine barrens. Wasn't the case. He was two doors down from where he lived in a foreclosed house. Hid there for six months without anyone suspecting.

SAUL: But why? Why not run?

MIKE: Now, that's what everybody expects. It's human nature to want to stay close to home, and if this Kettleman figured out how to do it, that's what he did. Nobody wants to leave home.

With the new lead, Jimmy explores the desert near the Kettleman house and finds their campsite.

Jimmy unzips the tent.

SAUL: Here's Johnny!

All the Kettlemans scream.

SAUL: Hey Warren, hey Jojo, sorry about that, I'm your uncle Jimmy, alright. Now your parents are gonna take you down the mountain back to your house, that sound good?

BETSY: Uh, we...

SAUL: Yeah, see? They're excited.

CRAIG: Mr. McGill, can we talk about this?

SAUL: No, we can't, okay? You're done here. Pack up your stuff, bury your scat, 'cause we're heading back. Civilization awaits.

WARREN: Finally.

BETSYL Uh, look, could please, could we just talk this through, okay?

SAUL: It's not an option. You either do this on your own recognizance or the cops come and drag you by your heels. Let's go. Kettlemans, time to ship out.

Jimmy reaches for Betsy's bag.

BETSY: No. No!

SAUL: Yes, you are!

BETSY: No!

SAUL: This is happening!

They tug back and forth on the bag.

BETSY: No, this is not happening!

SAUL: Yes, it is! (grunts) Yes! Kettlemans!

BETSY: No!

SAUL: Yes, you are doing this now!

BETSY: No!

The bag rips opens and rolls of $100 dollar bills spill out.

SAUL: Yeah.