Confession

"Well...that wasn't as unpleasant as I thought it would be. Kind of soothing, actually. I feel a little warmer, now."

"I'm glad you're feeling warm now."

"Did you feel the magic… flow from him?"

"No. You know I don't have those sort of heightened senses when it comes to magic."

"Despite being Arch-Mage?"

I looked at her and noticed the smirk. "Yes, Serana, despite being the Arch-Mage."

"There is no doubt he was powerful. Far more powerful than we even glimpsed. I wonder how long he's been standing guard there? It must be terribly lonely…" I looked at her, hearing her tone, as she shrugged. "I just know how it feels." I didn't know what to say and knew I looked unsure as she simply smiled. "Should we move on, Ragnar?"

"Yes. Let's go."

We were now in the unknown. There were no torch scones around providing light. But that doesn't mean we were left to fumble in the dark. Strange plant life surrounded us of the like I'd never seen before. I asked Serana and she hadn't either. Most peculiar was the low source of light the plants provide. Not just plants, but also enormous mushrooms and also other pink glowing… things, which retracted when I approached them.

"It certainly is beautiful, though," Serana stated as we entered an enormous cavern, the strange plant life spreading as far as the eye could see.

The next I don't know how any hours suggested not all was beautiful wherever we happened to be. The further we descended, the more we discovered signs that Falmer had made their home in these passages and caverns. Serana and I were cautious wherever we put our feet, aware that the Falmer lay all manner of traps ready to kill or main the unwary. We nearly stumbled into a Falmer camp due to the darkness.

"Hang on, the Falmer are blind, right?" I asked very quietly.

"They are. What you getting at though?" Serana wondered.

"Do you know any spells which provide light? I mean, if the Falmer are blind, they can only hear or perhaps even smell us coming."

"Hmmm. Good thinking, Ragnar."

She cast a spell and a small ball of light appeared above us, illuminating only the area around us and perhaps a few feet in front at most. At least enough light to stop us walking into walls, off ledges or into traps. Despite our best efforts, we couldn't remain completely silent and once the first few Falmer became aware that someone was approaching. We did our best to silently kill those Falmer who were isolated but, despite our best efforts to avoid the groups, I eventually had to unsheathe my weapon and the blood started to flow. There was little chance of cutting down many Falmer without making any noise, but once Serana started to fling her destruction spells at the incoming army, or so it seemed, any chance of sneaking through was gone.

So we bathed in Falmer blood. Not quite literally, though I was certainly covered in the stuff before long, and even Serana's lovely red and black cloak ended up spattered with dark Falmer blood. Cut. Thrust. Block an arrow from an archer in the distance. Duck and weave an axe. Block another arrow aimed at Serana. Swivel and thrust forward. Swing backhanded, cutting a throat. Lop down, chopping at arms. Block, parry and thrust forward, sending my sword through guts and blood. It was slow, methodical, bloody work. I roared a war cry as we moved forward. Any injuries I may have received were ignored as my blood ran hot and my sword dripped dark crimson.

Due to the width of most passageways and even walking through caverns, I led the way, though that's not to say Serana wasn't in the thick of the action. With dagger in left hand and magic from her right, she cut the Falmer down in waves, watching our backs as the Falmer would sneak out and appear from hiding places, waiting to catch us unawares. Sometimes we worked in complete tandem, either back to back if we found ourselves encircled by Falmer, or side to side, keeping the enemy at bay, myself blocking any attacks as Serana caused devastation as flames or sparks spread around us. Even she roared her approval at times, her enthusiasm for the fight infectious.

I have no idea how many Falmer we killed along the way. Not just Falmer but those god ugly Chaurus were also killed wherever we found them. Eventually we passed through their camps and all was silent once again. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins, my breathing sharp, my eyes focused. Serana was near the same, her red eyes bright and alive, the look on her face in one moment concerning, the next… Well, her eyes met mine and I think the only thing stopping us was the fact it was possible there were still more Falmer ahead.

I cleared my throat. "We should keep moving."

"Yes. Yes. That would be best, Ragnar." She smiled, then laughed, and I just shook my head as we moved on. "Something on your mind?" she asked, teasing me.

"No idea what you're talking about."

"Are you sure?" she asked in a tone I'd heard only once before. Within the grove.

I cleared my throat again. "Yes," I stated. I was lying, of course.

The Falmer were but a mere memory as we descended into a new section of the cavern. It brought both of us to a standstill as, while its beauty was different to the glade, it was still awe-inspiring. Certainly enough for Serana to stand next to me and grab my hand. "I've never seen anything like it before," she whispered.

"We seem to have luck in seeing a lot of things neither of us have seen before."

She simply leaned against my shoulder. "You know what I mean," she said softly, "This is the kind of thing I've been wanting to see. Makes everything worth it."

Neither of us felt like moving for at least a few minutes. So I closed my eyes and listened to all the sounds. 'Just tell her. Right here. Right now. Come on, Uthred, you're practically a couple. Look at the both of you right now!' I turned towards her, noticing she was doing the same as me. Eventually she must have sensed I was looking at her, opening her eyes and looking at me. Another smile and we shared a light kiss. 'Gods, tell her!!!'

Animals of the like neither had ever seen before scampered around, most running away at the mere sight of us. I was sure I saw a bright coloured sabre cat on a ledge away from us. It looked fast asleep, and even if it was awake, didn't appear interested in our progress. We wound our way through this peaceful place, walking towards and around a large pool of water, ending up following another passage until we approached what appeared to be another wayshrine. In front of the wayshrine was what appeared to be a ghost, just as Gelebor had told us.

We performed the ritual as instructed by Gelebor and a new portal opened up.

"Behold Auri-El's gift, my child. May it light your path as you seek tranquillity within the Inner Sanctum. May Auri-El's brilliance illuminate your path."

I gave thanks to the ghost before we passed through the portal.

*****

Absolutely spectacular!

Wherever we were, a long forgotten part of Skyrim, apparently untouched by the Nords, what appeared at first glance to be a snow covered, bleak landscape actually covered what were the last remnants of Snow Elf architecture in Skyrim. We were standing on a cliff-edge, taking in the view, our coats flapping in the wind.

"This is incredible. It's like a whole other world."

She was definitely right. I'd seen enough snow to last a lifetime. I'd happily never experience another cold day. I was tired of feeling a cold wind bite through the layers of clothing I was constantly wrapped in. But putting up with the snow, rain, wind and cold, the innumerable enemies, the constant aches and pains, the numerous wounds, new and old, all that made moments like this completely worthwhile. Below us stretched an enormous frozen lake. Shielding my eyes from the glare, the sunlight bouncing off the snow, we could both see another wayshrine in the distance. It would mean having to cross the frozen lake.

For once, we were alone as we followed the path to the shore. I was surprised no Falmer had made camp but perhaps even this place was too cold for them. I didn't really know, and honestly, didn't really care. I'd take the few minutes of peace, knowing ever more Falmer likely lay in wait for us as I know we had to pass through at least two more wayshrines, according to what Gelebor told us.

Reaching the shore, I asked Serana to wait while I gingerly stepped onto the ice, keeping an ear out for the sound of creaks or cracks. I didn't dare jump up and down, just in case I slammed through, but the ice appeared thick enough for us to walk across without any major problems. I was no ice master, but I figured the ice was incredibly thick and the lake may have been frozen for a long time.

Confident enough that we wouldn't fall through the ice, I turned and gestured for Serana to follow. I wouldn't say we walked confidently across the ice but the thin covering of snow at least provided grip, though there were one or two moments where we almost lost our footing. Thankfully there was no damage and it just resulted in laughter. "Like a new-born deer," I stated as Serana almost fell over again, "I thought you were meant to be fleet of foot?"

"Better than being flat footed like yourself, Ragnar."

"Flat-footed? Do you not see my movement with sword and shield?"

"All the time."

I scoffed. "Flat footed indeed!"

A rumble below the ice brought both of us to an immediate standstill. We shared a nervous glance. "What was that?" she asked.

"I don't know."

I gestured that we should move quicker. Another rumble below us and I was sure I knew what it was. The ice started to shake and crack and eventually we had to come to a stop as I knew we'd fall through. "Get ready!"

"What for?"

I didn't need to reply as no more than a few metres away, a dragon burst through the ice, roaring as it did so. I unsheathed my sword and readied myself for battle again, watching the dragon as it circled around the lake, continuing to roar, its eyes only for us in the middle of the lake. I knew we'd made a mistake crossing. It must have sensed I was close and was allowing us to cross right into the middle before it decided to make its appearance. But I would never have guessed a dragon was under the lake. Whoever would have thought that?

The dragon finally descended and before I could even think of a Shout to use, it started to bathe the ice in flame. I knew, right then, that we were going to be in trouble. Serana and I split apart as the flames started to melt the ice between us and I knew it wouldn't be long until the ice broke up completely.

I wanted to make sure Serana was okay but the dragon needed killing and fast. I only heard her encouragement in my ears as I tracked the dragons' movement, beckoning it to come down and face me. It circled once then twice before it descended to attack. This time I was ready, using Dragonrend to force it to the ground. I wasted little time getting in close and personal, using my shield to keep its teeth from chopping me in two as I looked to thrust my sword through its scales, drawing blood, causing the dragon to roar again, this time in pain.

Dragonrend eventually wore off and the dragon ascended immediately again. Any thoughts of using the Shout to bring it down were broken by further cracks in the ice. They were loud and very concerning. I glanced towards Serana and her face matched my own. The dragon descended and breathed fire once again, catching me unawares, having to use my shield to protect myself. I knew we were in trouble as there was a near deafening cracking sound and I felt the ice shift completely under my feet, barely keeping my balance as it teetered on flipping me over. I steadied myself as I immediately looked towards Serana, who met my eyes, and I saw she was struggling to keep her footing as the ice completely broke up around us.

"Move!" I yelled.

But she hadn't even taken a step when she disappeared from view. I know I yelled out her name as she slid into the icy water before my attention was taken by the dragon again, hearing it roar as I rolled out of the way, another sheet of flame passing where I had been standing moments before. I got to my feet and simply charged forward and shouted Dragonrend, forcing it down before it even though about taking off. The dragon snapped at me as I smashed my shield into its jaw, forcing it to lift its head. I continued forward another two steps before I simply thrust my sword upwards into the neck of the dragon, hearing it roar above me. I thrust in again and again and again, my sword and hand covered in blood, the blood dripping in pools onto the ice below and I knew the dragon would collapse any moment now, thrusting one last time before I stepped back and watched as the giant beast collapsed.

I didn't even bother waiting for the soul to escape as I turned and raced back to the hole through which Serena had disappeared. It was pitch black and I couldn't see a thing. I dumped my sword and shield and simply dove in, hoping that she had simply fallen straight down. There was still faint light from above as I descended into the icy depths, and I could feel my strength disappearing, and fast. I kept swimming down, the water ever black, before I finally saw something faint and red below me. I swam even faster and grabbed her cowl, dragging her towards me. Once I'd wrapped an arm around her body, I kicked up with all my might, feeling my lungs nearly explode from holding my breath and the exertion of swimming in the icy cold while carrying someone. Somehow, I don't know how, I managed to emerge into the light, hauling Serena onto the ice before dragging myself out.

I was absolutely freezing as I picked up Serana in my arms and hurried off the ice, towards trees I could see in the distance. I placed her down gently, unable to see if she was still breathing or even alive, as I gathered branches I could see around us. Once I had enough, I lit a small fire, not even enough to really warm either of us, but it was something. 'Better than nothing. Better than freezing to death.' I then got down on my knees next to Serana and checked for signs of life. Or as much life as a vampire would show…

"What do I do?" I asked myself. And her, because I'd never felt more hopeless in all my life than at that moment. Then I thought about what she was. Something I always tried to put in the back of my mind. "Blood," I said quietly. I had no idea if this would work, if it would end with me turning, or if it would end in my death, but it was the only thing I could think of. My hands were still shaking as I unsheathed my dagger and cut my forearm, making sure the blood started to drip. Gently I lifted her head, her mouth slightly open, and I did what I thought was necessary.

I didn't think it was going to work at first as there was no reaction. So I did the only thing I could think of. I pleaded with her to start drinking. And prayed to the Nine that it would work. And that they would understand.

I felt pressure on my forearm as her eyes opened, barely, but she was alive. Or as alive as a vampire can be. "Easy, easy," I said gently, "Please don't bite," I added. Then her eyes opened wide and I saw fear in them, meeting mine and I knew why. "You need your strength. It's okay," I said quietly. She still looked unsure and started to struggle so I simply moved behind her, holding her in place and let her do what she needed to do. I was already weak and felt myself getting tired. I think I yawned and that was probably what caused her to stop, turning around to face me. I know I smiled at her as I passed out.

It was dark by the time I woke up, the fire next to me now roaring, providing plenty of warmth. We were still out in the open to a point, a tent having been pitched providing at least some protection from the elements, but I was also huddled under plenty of furs. I felt strange and checked under the furs, noticing that my armour wasn't on me, looking ahead to see it hanging on a tree branch nearby, not far from the fire. The other thing under my furs, though, was Serana. She was fast asleep or at least appeared so. I didn't particularly want to wake her, but I jiggled slightly and that did wake her up. She looked at me, and I noticed the embarrassment, at least for a few seconds. Then the eyes flared with anger as she turned to face me.

"You're an idiot!" I blinked, completely perplexed at why she was, of all thing, angry with me. "You could have been killed!"

"I wasn't going to let you die."

"Stopping my father is more important."

"I wasn't going to let you die."

"Then, on top of that, you let me feed on you."

I lifted myself up, at least onto my elbows, actually feeling a little bit hurt. "For crying out loud, Serana! I wasn't going to let you die!"

She blinked at me in silence, seeming to finally comprehend my words. "Oh..."

"And I'd do it all again in a heartbeat anyway. I'm alive. You're alive. Let's appreciate that, shall we?"

I lay back down, still feeling weak. After a few seconds, Serana lay back down next to me, then wrapped an arm around my chest. "Thank you for saving me," she said quietly.

"No problem. And you're welcome."

"You need warmth. Luckily I managed to dry my clothes while you were asleep."

"And you decided to remove mine?"

I knew I was teasing. "You were freezing and soaked to the bone, Ragnar. I had to do something."

"I could think of something else…"

"Not now, Ragnar."

I chuckled. "Fair enough." I gently kissed her forehead, which surprisingly felt warm, though I think it was due to being so close to the fire. "Thanks for the concern," I added softly. I lifted my right arm to see it was bandaged. "Nice job on this, too."

"I didn't want you to keep bleeding. I know enough to ensure you won't die, at least."

"How are you feeling?"

She shrugged. "As normal as one can expect, considering..."

"Considering what?"

" Ragnar, you let me feed on you. It's... I mean, I know why but... It's just unexpected."

"Am I a vampire? Will I turn into one?"

"Well, no."

"Then it's not a problem. I did what was necessary."

We lay in silence, only the crack of the fire nearby adding any ambient noise. It was incredibly peaceful. "Serana?"

"Hmmm…"

"I love you."

I didn't hear a reply and, with each passing second, started to think I had it all wrong. That she didn't feel the same way. Or thought I was an idiot. Or that I shouldn't have said anything. I shuffled and turned to look at her again. She met my eyes and the beaming smile she returned caused me to sigh with relief. She leaned forward to kiss me gently on the lips. "I love you too, Ragnar of Whiterun. The Last Dragonborn," she said softly.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to say that."

She laughed. "You have no idea how long I've waited for you to say those words."

"It was that obvious?"

"I've known since you woke me up. I've been absolutely sure since you threatened to kill Isran when you returned to Fort Dawnguard and found me… how I was..."

"I knew the day I found you."

She smiled. "I know. I felt it then too. But I'd just woken up and my mind was all over the place and I couldn't be sure that I was reading you wrong." She paused. "Feel better getting it off your chest?"

"You nearly died. I wasn't going to wait any longer. I can't bear the thought of…"

I trailed off and met her eyes. She simply stroked my cheek and kissed me. There was more feeling in that one kiss than words could have ever expressed. No more than a few minutes later, she was naked under the furs too as we made love once again, making sure we stayed under the furs though exuberance resulted in them being flung aside for a time before we both complained about being cold. Later, we simply lay together, her eyes gazing into mine as she gently stroked my beard. She then moved her hand down onto my chest and closed her eyes.

"Ragnar?" She opened her eyes. "I find myself conflicted."

"By what?"

"I'm in love with a mortal. Yet I am immortal."

"You make it sound like you've never had this problem."

She smiled. "You're my first real love, Ragnar." She then giggled. "Your heart is beating faster."

"You have that effect on me."

She grabbed my hand and placed it on her chest, where her heart was but... "I want you to feel mine…"

"Oh… But I always thought…"

"Ragnar, you love me for who I am. You've never made what I am an issue at all. And I know you would never make it an issue because of your love for me. Before I met you, I always considered my condition a gift, because after everything I went through to receive it, I proved how strong I was as a person. I went through all that and came out alive. But also… not. And…" She pressed my hand into her chest. "I want you to feel my heart beat when you're with me. I want to feel my heart beat with excitement whenever we're together. I'm alive but I've realised that I want to feel alive." I didn't know what to say. She simply smiled and kissed me again. "A lot to take in?"

"It is. I'll say only this. Whatever you choose to do in the future, you have my support."

She kissed me again, deeply and it wasn't long before… well, you can guess what happened next, particularly now that everything was out in the open. It took a while before our appetites were once again sated and we finally went to sleep, my arms wrapped around her once again, huddled under the furs, the crackle of the fire and the furs keeping us warm until the morning.

*****

Falmer. A never ending sea of ugly, stinking, blind, angry, hateful group of mer who wanted nothing than to end my life and that of my companion. They. Never. Stopped. The path to the last wayshrine was almost like a descent through Oblivion itself. Except this plain of Oblivion was infested by those… bastards is the nicest term I can use. If I ever see a Falmer again, it would be too soon. Any pity, any sorrow, any sadness I may have felt for them disappeared in those hours we descended through their encampments as we searched for the last wayshrine. All they did was piss me off. Serana grew increasingly annoyed at the same time and was more than willing to each of their lives.

Somehow, we made it through alive. I still sometimes wonder how we survived everything we faced. Most of the time, we only worked as a pair, taking on tens if not hundreds of enemy yet we managed to fight them all off, time and again, leaving a trail of bodies in our wake. But that's not to say either of us escaped without wounds. I was bleeding from a couple, ignoring any lingering pain. I'd certainly been through worse. Serana had been nicked by a couple of arrows and, though I worried about poison, she was prepared for any eventuality.

We staggered through a cave, fighting off the last remnants of Falmer resistance, scrabbling over the loose rocks and stones. I stopped and looked behind me, offering my hand to Serana, helping her up as we effectively moved on hands and knees, breathing deeply, both of us nearly exhausted. In fact, not even nearly. I was knackered. I know Serana was on the verge of flagging as well.

"Just a little further," I stated.

"I know. It's just been a long day."

"That and more. Remind me that we need to rest when all this is over."

"Deal!"

The fifth and last ghost was waiting for at the wayshrine. After performing the ritual again, we moved onwards, the Inner Sanctum lying ahead. It was another example of long-lost Snow Elf design, an architectural masterpiece that was, somewhat amazingly, still in good repair. Perhaps the cold weather helped keep it in one piece? We slowly cross the bridge, taking in the magnificent view to either side before turning our attention to the building in front.

"I've never seen a building like that before. It looks like some kind of temple. Never saw anything like this back on the island," Serana stated.

"It's certainly impressive. Wonder if the Imperial City is anything like this?"

"You've never seen it?"

"No. Only ever saw two cities in Cyrodil. Chorrol and Bruma."

"I guess this is beautiful in its own way."

"I would assume this must be the chapel, if that's what the Snow Elves called such a place of worship."

"I'm not sure. I think the chapel may be further in."

"Guess that means more exploring?"

"Ragnar. Ever the adventurer. Very well, lead the way."

We climbed the steps and entered a courtyard. It was empty, as expected, and again the building surrounding us appeared to be relatively intact and well preserved. In the middle of the courtyard was a statue. We came to a stop in front of it.

"That is a statue of Auriel, but it's using the older signs of his power. This temple must be ancient. The bow has to be in here," Serana stated quietly next to me.

"I'll admit I know little to nothing about elven traditions. What do you mean by the 'old signs'?"

"I only know a little myself. But look at the statue, the representation of Auri-El. It's positively elven. Enter any chapel of the Divines and Akatosh is represented completely differently. Man and mer both share faith in the same god, but refer to him in different names and attribute different qualities to him. Then look at what the statue is holding. The elves, from what I know, believe Auri-El was involved in the creation of the mortal world as we know it. Shrines in Skyrim towards Akatosh are those of a dragon. Any stained glass make reference to the dragonblood, of man and dragon combined."

As I'd said, I knew next to nothing so, whether she was right or wrong, I wasn't bound to raise an argument. Instead, we simply moved on past the statue, climbing another set of steps into the chapel.

The inner sanctum was nothing like the outside. Everything was frozen. Numerous Falmer and chaurus stood as still as statues, encased in ice. It was bizarre, if not a little eerie. The roof had slightly caved in and there was little light, adding to the gloom and sense that all was not as it seemed.

"I wonder how long they've been like this? And I thought the Soul Cairn was creepy," Serana muttered to herself.

In the middle of the room was another shrine, Serana stating it was to Auri-El. It looked the same as the symbol held by the statue out front, so that made sense. It was also surrounded by numerous frozen Falmer and I had a bad feeling they were all going to instantly thaw and start attacking. I felt an almost overwhelming need to reach for my sword and simply start swinging. But I refrained… for now…

We spent a few minutes exploring the darkness, though the occasional shaft of light appeared through gaps in the ceiling. There were frozen Falmer everywhere, Serana concluding that it was definitely magic – powerful magic – which were keeping them in place. I was just thankful they remained frozen as we walked by, ensuring we didn't get too close in case our proximity cause them to wake up.

The chantry was enormous and we found ourselves lost more than once, doubling back on ourselves or simply heading down hallways that turned into dead-ends. But we finally found the right passage and, with even more frozen Falmer surrounding us, we approached the only other living thing in the chantry, sat upon a frozen throne.

Only the second Snow Elf I knew was still alive.

I could feel his gaze upon us as we slowly approached his throne. I couldn't see his eyes but knew he was watching us intently, wondering what we were going to do. I was still unarmed, so was Serana. I know Gelebor wanted us to kill him but, I'll admit, I wanted to be given a reason to kill him. He barely moved as we crossed the floor towards him, only showing an interest in us when we came to a stop at the small set of stairs below his throne.

"Did you really come here expecting to claim Auriel's Bow?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Well, yes."

He laughed, mockingly. "You've done exactly as I predicted and brought your fetching companion to me."

I looked at Serana, who returned my glance. "Is he talking about me?"

"Well, you're the only 'fetching companion' around here."

"Is this really the time for…"

I just smiled before returning my attention to Vyrthur. "What do you want?"

"I only ever wanted her. Thank you for bringing her to me but I believe you usefulness is now at end. Before you die, believe me when I say you do have my undoubted thanks for being a very acceptable pawn."

Falmer and chaurus burst into life around us and once again my sword ran slick with blood. It was nothing like our fight through the cave or the crevice. After dealing with those sort of numbers, the few Falmer we had to deal with here could be dealt with swiftly and without any particular harm to ourselves. Over the sounds of our fighting, I could hear Vyrthur rage behind us.

"An impressive display, but a wasted effort. You delay nothing but your own deaths!"

"He dies, Ragnar."

"Couldn't agree more."

I could hear more sounds and looked up to see enormous cracks appear in the ceiling. I pointed up, Serana nodded and we made sure to move out of the way as parts of the ceiling started to fall around us. In addition to this, more Falmer continued to pour into the room from behind his throne. Now it was more like the crevice! I roared over everything and I swear, just for a moment, I gave the Falmer pause. I felt the adrenaline flow and the blood-lust take over, just for a few minutes, and I cut them down in swathes. Serana barely got a look in at times, not that she complained.

"Any more, Vyrthur?" I yelled out.

"This has gone on long enough. Child, my life ended long before you were born!"

"Was that aimed at me or you?" I wondered aloud.

"Probably me. I guess he must really be ancient."

I continued to hack down the incoming Falmer and continued to mock Vyrthur's efforts, hoping I'd rile him up enough into making a mistake.

"I won't let you ruin centuries of preparations!"

"Is this the best you've got? No wonder your race died away!"

"Surrender and give us the bow!" Serana added.

He finally stood up and pointed at us. "I'd rather die first."

I have no idea what he did but it was no doubt something magical as the floor started to shake and I could barely keep my feet. I looked around and could see the walls starting to crumble while the ceiling above us started to cave in. Then I looked above me to see an enormous piece of masonry appeared to be coming apart. I barely had time to move, instead glancing towards Serana and pushed her out of the way. I heard her scream my name before I felt something slam into me and, for a brief moment, I felt nothing but pain.

Then I felt nothing at all.