Chapter 1: The Great Exploit

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*OP Main Character... Oh this is gonna be goo-* 😊👋

*what was that for?!?!?*

"Oi! Im trying to tell a story, so shut the fuck up before I slap you so hard you'll reincarnate as well!"

*🤐*

"Good, now where was I... ah yes, at the start, when you fucking reincarnated me here..."

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*DING!*

💭 Dafuq? 💭 Thought Adam to himself, as he was taking one of the biiiiiiggest of shits on the toilet, hearing the notification message sound in his mind.

[You Have Been Exclusively Chosen, To Be Reincarnated To A World Where EVERYTHING Is Possible! And Your Wildest Dreams, But A Click Away! Would You Like To Accept?…]

The video game-like notification screen, illuminating his face in the void that was the night.

"FUCK NO, I WOULD NOT! I'M PERFECTLY HAPPY MOOCHING AROUND HERE ALL DAY AND CLAIMING MY BENEFITS!"

…

…

*really?…*

…

I-I mean, Our… Braaaaaave hero… pfffft, yeah righ- oops, I mean… come on man, compose yourself.

Sorry about those… "Technical Difficulties" folks. Anyways:

Our brave hero, frantic, hurriedly looked to the bottom of the notification window… ready to heed the call to action!

"Ah here we go… THE BLOODY NO BUTTON! Bye, Random shit that's not my problem!"

Oh fuck… erm…

[❌ We're Sorry, This Function Is Unavailable!]

[You Have Been Exclusively Chosen To Be Reincarnated To A World Where EVERYTHING Is Possible! And Your Wildest Dreams, But A Click Away! Would You Like To Accept?…]

[Yes] [N… Other Yes]

"Really?… You're actually gonna drag me into your mess? WHY EVEN GIVE ME THE [NO] OPTION IF I CAN'T ACTUALLY USE IT?!?!?"

[Teleporting To The Other World In 3… 2 "✋OH NO YOU DO NOT!…" … 1! Enjoy Your New World!]

Just before he's teleported, he grabs a couple nearby rolls of toilet paper… partly, out of a frantic hopelessness… yeah, mostly spite tho.

He lands in an empty, white void of a room, his arse landing in his own shit as he falls back from his squatting position.

He quickly wipes his arse with some squares from the toilet paper he'd grabbed before the teleport.

"Good thing I managed to grab a couple of rolls, before that ballshit happened"

Not too far ahead of him, were 2 buttons on a quartz pedestal. An engraved, metal sheet in the top centre, read:

'Hahahaha! I bet you're covered in shit! But not to worry, before you are 2 options. The button on the left, will let you summon a roll of toilet paper to you whenever you like from now on, you'll need it if you wanna be clean again… and to the right?…'

It continued: 'Press that button and it'll give you a video game like system, stat screen type stuff, hell, I'll even throw in unlimited inventory space seeing as you're covered in shit for this… what will it be?'

Past god *SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! HOW DOES HE HAVE TOILET PAPER, IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SO SURPRISING THAT NO-ONE WOULD HAVE GRABBED THAT!*

"Hahahahahah! Oh this is goooooooooood! So I can get some sweet, sweet karma on that prick that forced me here and a cool game like system? Unlimited inventory to boot? Hmmmm, I wonder which I should choose?…" he finished sarcastically

After which, he slammed his hand down on the right button, permanently gaining a game like stat screen, unlimited inventory in that system as well.

"Hell yeah! Suck on that! You stuck up, uppity cunt! You might be a god, but you're still a twat!" 🖕

*💢That fucking little!💢 🤬*

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"Are you enjoying my origin story there god?… huuuuuuh? 😆"

*… Why You!…*

"Anyways readers, I'd love to stay and monologue more… but I'm gonna guess the old fart'll get even more wound up if i make him wait. So see you in the next chapter!" He leans in closer, and puts his hand to the side of his mouth in order to whisper the next bit in your ear

"For you it won't be the longest wait, in this world tho… just to piss him off, let's say the next chapter, where I'll keep reading my origins, will be like 1k years in the future, he's gonna be sooooo pissed 😆"