Prologue

When I came to my senses, I felt a surge of undeniable pleasure. There was no pain, after all.

The last thing I remember was being attacked by a pack of trucks. Their drivers either slept, or talked over the phone. That doesn't mix well with following the road, as you might imagine.

As a result, metal beasts broke out on their bloody hunt.

Ten trucks chose me as their primary target.

And I wasn't able to run away, my speed was no match to theirs. It was not the smartest idea in the world to go out at night on the territory of metal predators.

So I was hit by a car, then another car. I felt a wild pain in my stomach, in the back of my head, in my left knee... Yes, I felt the pain in my entire body!

And then, my vision turned red.

A disappearing blue sky and ten pairs of headlights. Smoke, fumes, and screams. Slowly, I was enveloped by the darkness.

And then, It felt like someone had flipped the on switch, and the pain was gone. Moreover, I stopped feeling presence of my own body.

"I hate trucks," I thought. "I was always afraid of them ... I went onto the track ... After all, I was walking along the crosswalk".

However, maybe I'm in the hospital now? Am I just anesthetized? I managed to survive ...

So, I opened my eyes.

Darkness was all my eyes could see. It was the same one, that enveloped me before I fainted. Darkness, in the depths of which one could see the distant sparks of flame and hear the roar of an unusually powerful but very distant fire. At the same time, it resembled a howl of a monster.

I hoped that I could hear the sufferings of those trucks that ran me over. Burn in Hell, trucks!

I was hanging in this blackness, completely motionless, and I clearly realized that I was not anesthetized, no doctors helped me, and I was not in a hospital.

I just died. I got into an accident—a huge one at that—where a dozen of trucks collided.

It's not like the mere fact surprised me. All men are mortal; everyone knows that they are mortal; and when you get hit by a car, you don't really have any hopes for the survival, and you just think that you're ready to die, you desire for the paint to cease.

So, you die ... And you wonder, what's next? Heaven? Hell? Some sort of a judgement? This place resembled nothing of the former. Was I destined to stay here forever — alone, without being able to move, without the slightest glimpse of light..?

"Purgatory", I swallowed the saliva. "Eternal NOTHING for those who are not worthy of heaven or hell ..."

Alas, I never got a chance to be afraid of endless boredom.

"So, who do we have in here?" resonated the voice behind my back. I tried to turn around, but I failed to do so, as I was not standing, but floating instead.

However, somebody went around me (right in the void, as if there was a floor there). It was a girl in her 20s, and she was charming ... No, it's not the right word. She was simply gorgeous! Even though I was dead, I was ready to fall in love with her.

"What are you looking at?" she chuckled, giving me her probing look. "I was on a break, I went to brew some coffee. It's not like you've been here for too long."

She was really holding a cup of coffee, I could even hear its smell. But where did she come from ... Can she read my mind..? Or do I have everything written on my face?

"Well, let's begin," in front of the girl appeared a table, to be more precise, it was a wide stone slab. She sat down, placing the cup dangerously close to the edge.

"Who are you ..." I murmured.

As a matter of fact, it was extremely easy to accept the fact of your own death. It's hard to wrap your head around the afterlife, though. We know too little about it, and, in any case, it is a guaranteed surprise.

"Call me the Goddess of Death," commanded the girl.

"So—" I shook my head. "Is the Goddess judging all the dead face-to-face..?"

"Tut- tut! Do you even imagine how many worlds there are and how many people die daily?" The goddess picked up a pen from the darkness and a stack of sheets. "I didn't say that I am the only Goddess, did I? It just happened so that you were destined to be my guest here. And eight out of ten drunk drivers, who decided to arrange a race on their trucks, were destined to someone else."

"Aha ... they also died?" I felt malicious joy starting to surge within me.

"Don't mind them," the Goddess passed her eyes through the first leaf. "You'd better start thinking about your own self ... On the second thought, you're free to stop thinking at all — what the difference does it make anyway?"

"What do you mean?" I was scared. "I'm going to Hell?"

"You don't deserve that kind of treatment." frowned the Goddess. "You don't pass by your karma."

"Then ... In Heaven?"

"You don't deserve that one either. See, my friend, you have no karma. A complete zero. No good or bad karma. It's like it doesn't even exist. The same goes for your influence on the past world. You did nothing at all ... nothing except the usual air processing and waste generation. And you've done the exact same thing in more than one life."

"I ..." I had nothing to argue with.

"So, congratulations," she said, smiling. "It can be said that you've reached some kind of parody of nirvana. You broke free from the cycle of rebirth. Whether you're alive or not... the fluctuations of the Universe will not change whatsoever. And like all the yogi who intentionally achieved it, you are honored to be merged with the Great Nothing. There will be no more of you and your own essence. You are to become a part of the Universe."

Does it mean I am to be ... erased?

I grew incredibly afraid, having heard her words. Losing yourself must be horrible.

And it was this existential horror that made me blurt out the following,

"But I don't want it!" I shouted, "I want to live, you know?!"

The Goddess sighed and shook her head.

"So what? The Universe will not accept you as a separate entity. You are being dissolved in its particles right now, becoming one with it. Even if I want, I cannot influence the laws."

"But it's still possible to change anything, before I dissolved in," I really didn't want to lose myself, so I went on. "Is painting my karma an option still? Can I, you know, commit some deed to break the equilibrium? I am even ready to kill, if necessary, but I am by no means ready to die just yet!"

I blurted out without thinking about the whole murder thing ... It was a complete accident. Actually, I was really ready to kill just to save myself ... As I discovered the fact that there's a reincarnation happening after you die, I would take killing someone for nothing, considering the stakes are high with the disappearance of my soul.

The Goddess smiled wickedly.

"Fool. Do you want to return to the beginning of a long road, when you finally managed to get off it? You know, there are many who are craving to achieve that for more than one thousand lives. To get Redemption."

"No!" I exclaimed. "I don't want a Redemption!"

"Well, I don't care either way. If you want to suffer in an endless cycle of lives, you are free to do so ... We are all like that here." The Goddess yawned again and pulled another sheet of paper from somewhere.

"Look. I can't help you to reborn. With the karma you have now, the time you have until you merge ... well, I would say you have a year, according to the Earth time. And as a baby, you are unlikely to be able to tint it somehow."

She paused, glancing at me, as if pondering something.

"But..?" I could not help myself. "There are other options? Maybe, there is a world in which they grow up very quickly? Or where newborns immediately become adults?"

"It won't work either," she answered, shaking her head. "Memory is always erased at birth. That is the law. And with your karma, you will not be able to do anything anyway, even if you are born an orc from a spore in the middle of the battlefield."

"But ... is there a way to preserve my memory?" in the burning horror that settled in my heart, there was still hope that there was a chance.

"Suppose there is. You can occupy someone's dying body. With your soul, which rhythm is like that of the Universe, it can be cranked and there will be no rejection ..."

"I agree!"

"Keep in mind, your deeds must be very ... Vivid. That goes for both good and bad. Your every action should color and distort your soul, so that its resonance with the Universe is broken. And breaking the resonance is as difficult as achieving it."

I was hit by a sudden revelation: to want something, without being able to achieve it. I need a body, in which I will be able to create this "vivid" thing.

That's why my next question was,

"Then—is there a suitable body for me? I need one, in which I would be able to act immediately, from the first minutes." I was urged by fear.

The Goddess shook her head and sneered at me.

"Let's suppose, there is one. Right now, one soul has left the body. It happened so that it was out of place, and life ended pretty quickly. You can ... take its body. I will help," she smiled at me, while fixing her hear.

I was stunned by how quickly she decided on that. And I noticed how stunningly beautiful she was once again.

"But ... why are you doing all this for me?" I asked. "Yes, and the Gods, it seems, should not interfere with the affairs of mortals?"

She laughed.

"Who told you that, you dummy? Your preachers and prophets from Earth? The Gods can do everything within the limits of what they have the "right" to do. And within their "rights" they are not limited by anything. I am the Goddess of Death, and I have the right to interfere with your so-called "natural" order of things."

"But what about the balance of the world? You are..."

"Don't you get it yet? There is no balance, destiny, or world order. Everyone does what they want and what they have enough power for," she said, still smiling, "Oh, and one more thing ... Do you feel like knowing a great secret?"

I nodded.

"Karma, in addition to the Deliverance, may also be a pass to the top league. And it is all that has any value beyond one life. And while you're still so pure, think about who you want to be. To become ... On the other hand, it's not like you'll be able to tint it somehow anyway."

There were a lot of questions. But I, like any intelligent person, knew one thing for sure. Connections are everything that matter. And now I must not miss my chance, because I am definitely being favored for some reason.

"Can I have your phone number?" I forced these words out of my mouth. "What if am to, you know, dissolve in the Universe, and I won't get the chance to talk to you again."

Changing my mind, I added,

"It is such a thing, um ... you could communicate with it in my old world ..."

"I know," she cut me off with a glance, "I don't think you need it, I'm a busy girl, and what are we going to talk about anyway? You are not a God. I am not a human. We are on different levels."

Merp. It's my first time being dumped by the Goddess. And it hurts me a little. Just a tiny bit. Seeing my disappointed expression, she added.

"Don't get sad. I'll look after you ... Here, do you want my Patronage? Usually, the reincarnators receive it. The ones I send to some random worlds just for fun. Cool stuff! Your chances will increase, and you will receive a little bit of my strength. And then, if you're lucky, we'll meet again.

I shrugged.

"Why not, I suppose."

"Well, that's great," she smiled brightly and waved her hand. "Well, good luck!

And the world around me faded. Yes, once again…