Pain and the Sea

"Twenty-nine.

"My mother also committed suicide recently. She wanted to be with my father, so I came here."

Lu Zhou glanced at Ye Qingchen and saw that she was holding a box wrapped in a cloth.

"I also thought about going with her. But I realized that I didn't feel as bad as I thought. I thought it would be easy, like my mother, but it turned out to be difficult."

"The first thing I remember after growing up is when I was on the stairs with my senior brother. Only at that time, I was innocent and happy."

"I have no memories of my father. After they separated, I lived in that building with my mother. She stayed at home every day, reading, painting, and telling me their stories."

"When I started going to school and learned to read, when I truly understood things, I asked her if she hated my father and why we couldn't be together."

"She said, 'Your father is a great man. He pursued his ideals, but he was afraid of burdening us, or that we were just his baggage. So I understand him, but I can't forgive him. When hatred grows too much, only love remains.'"

"Did she understand him?" Lu Zhou murmured.

"I didn't dare to interact with anyone, didn't dare to speak. When I went to school, it was my grandfather who took me there. I looked at my classmates and felt that they weren't like my classmates, just like how I felt my father and mother weren't like my parents."

"Later, my grandfather passed away, and my mother started running the store downstairs."

"I smiled, but it felt fake. I lived as if I were trapped in a cage. And then they all left, and I realized they had already died back then. One forgot about love, the other had only love. I realized that I had been living in the world all along, but I didn't dare to reach out and touch it, just afraid of being rejected."

She spoke intermittently, as if not telling the story to Lu Zhou, but simply letting everything out.

"I thought I had become like them, but now I feel so uncomfortable. I also want to be happy, but I can't. I also want to have friends, but I'm afraid to reach out."

"They were just ordinary people, and I'm just an ordinary person. Why can't we live like ordinary people?"

Lu Zhou looked at Ye Qingchen, her nose red, allowing tears to flow continuously, dropping onto the urn.

Lu Zhou opened the hazard lights, parked the car by the roadside, and for some reason, he said, "I'm sorry."

She wiped her tears and shook her head.

"You continue talking, I'm listening."

The car lights flashed, making a faint clicking sound, but the car cabin fell silent again.

...

Lu Zhou sighed and picked up his phone.

"Hello, Mom."

"Ah, son, did Ye Xiaoye answer?"

"She answered, I'll take her for a walk first."

"...Ah? Okay then. Come back early."

"Okay, I'll hang up first."

After hanging up the phone, Lu Zhou started the Jeep again and drove aimlessly along the road.

"Have you been to the seaside?"

Ye Qingchen shook her head.

"Alright then, let's go."

Ignoring Ye Qingchen's changing expressions, Lu Zhou directly drove onto the provincial road.

After half an hour, the car reached the coastal highway.

The highway was built along the high slopes of the coastline. Looking out of the car window, you could see the sky and the sea merging into one. Lu Zhou slowed down and rolled down the windows on both sides, letting the sea breeze blow in.

"How does it feel?"

Ye Qingchen hesitated for a moment but didn't speak.

Lu Zhou, on the other hand, thought, "At least it dries your tears."

Soon, Lu Zhou arrived at a beach and parked the car. "Come on, let's get out and take a look."

Ye Qingchen held the urn and got out of the car from the other side.

"Put the box back in the car."

She seemed a bit worried, but Lu Zhou walked over to her, took the box from her, and placed it in the car. Then he held her hand and walked towards the beach.

At first, Ye Qingchen resisted a little, but eventually let Lu Zhou lead her forward.

In April, there were quite a few people at the seaside, but not many went into the water. Most of them were playing on the shore.

After releasing Ye Qingchen's hand, Lu Zhou took off his jacket and draped it over her. Then he took off his shoes and socks, rolled up his pants, and walked down the beach. He turned back and gestured at Ye Qingchen's feet.

Both of them carried their shoes and walked on the sand. "Do you know, the seawater by the coast is sweet?"

Ye Qingchen shook her head, indicating disbelief.

Lu Zhou didn't say much. After placing his shoes down, he squatted down and cupped some seawater in his hands. He gulped it down and his face lit up with satisfaction. "Ah! It's really sweet and tasty!"

Then he urged Ye Qingchen, who was beside him, "Come on, you should try it too."

Ye Qingchen imitated Lu Zhou and cupped some seawater in her hands. The water was mixed with tiny grains of sand, making it appear a bit murky, which made her hesitate.

Lu Zhou smiled and encouraged her, "Give it a try. How would you know if you don't try?"

After hearing that, she took a small sip, but her eyebrows slightly furrowed.

Lu Zhou squatted down, looking at Ye Qingchen's expression. Finally, he couldn't help but chuckle, which somewhat lightened her mood as well.

He pulled Ye Qingchen's hand, poured the seawater back into the sea, and led her to walk along the shallow shore.

The seawater danced and splashed around their ankles as they walked along the shallow shore.

...

After walking for a while, Lu Zhou turned around and looked at the footprints washed away by the seawater. He said, "When I came to the seaside for the first time as a child, my dad also fooled me like this. He even said to me, 'You feel it's bitter, but it has always been sweet.' When I was ten, looking at the sea, I always thought he was talking nonsense. When I came alone at eighteen, I felt that it had always been bitter, just like what my chemistry teacher said. But now, I feel like my dad's words were right."

He looked at Ye Qingchen and asked, "What do you think?"

Ye Qingchen looked into Lu Zhou's eyes and said, "I don't know either. But now, I feel much better."

Lu Zhou grinned and said, "Right. Now, give me a smile."

Ye Qingchen lifted the corners of her mouth slightly. Lu Zhou looked at this scene and couldn't help but feel that it was something he had never seen before in his life.

She had a reddened nose, traces of tears on her cheeks, and her smile seemed forced.

She was humble and insignificant, ordinary and sparse, like dust.

She had a hard shell and her own edges, never leaving too many footprints in other people's lives.

She was like one in a million grains of sand, drifting with the waves under the splashing seawater.

But in this moment, in this setting between the sea and the sky, between old memories and new beginnings, this speck of dust in Lu Zhou's eyes shone like a diamond.

It was as if there was no reason at all, yet there were countless reasons, or perhaps it was inherently unreasonable. He thought to

himself leisurely.

Lu Zhou couldn't help but lightly hold Ye Qingchen's hand and then let go.

He cupped his hands around his mouth, exerted all his strength, and shouted at the boundless sea.

"If the ocean can take away my sorrow."

"Just like taking away every river."

"All the wounds, all the shed tears."

"My love..."

"Please take them all away."

...

Ye Qingchen, stunned on the side, pressed her ears and looked at Lu Zhou, whose face had turned red from the exertion. A smile unconsciously appeared at the corner of her mouth.