WHY CAN'T IT...

I failed to find the person who killed that innocent soul. It is frustrating. This everything is so unreasonable. Who else could have done this? The weird feeling that I have of being clueless about what to do next, the guilt I have for not keeping up the words I gave to Akash. Maybe I just failed as a doctor, imagine how ridiculously hypocritical it is that a boy was killed in a hospital. And me being his doctor and a person with whom he bonded well couldn't find the person behind all this. With every single second that passes the sound of silence in the house is making me go mad.

I thanked Akash's parents for answering all my questions and I dragged both Krish and Akash out of the house. Then we drove to our house without uttering a single word. I fixed my gaze outside the window so that I could resist the tears from flowing down my eyes, even though it was so burning to keep them in.

As soon as we reached home, I barged into the house. Mathew and Catherine were in the living room and both of them were startled by the way I suddenly stormed into the house. I took the vase kept near the television and threw it to the floor making it into pieces. Everyone was dumbstruck by the way I was reacting. Akash was horrified and Catherine was frozen while Krish and Mathew were looking at me without blinking.

"Ahhh", I shouted. I hit my palm to my face and run it down my face harshly.

I push all the articles kept on the shelf down, I was destroying and breaking everything. Mathew ran to me and held me from the back. I tried to free myself from his hold, and after a few minutes of useless tries, I settled in his hold crying hardly. He released me and I wiped the tears off my cheeks.

I cared less about the remaining people in the house, who were now worried like hell about me, and went into my room and slammed the door. I know if I am in front of them, I am sure I will hurt them.

I sat down, next to the door, and tried to pull the knees closer to my chest but I had my outie stomach in between and buried my face in my palms. I heard soft knocks. I assume it is either Krish or Mathew.

"Megha, baby let me in", it was Krish.

I swing open the door. He glanced at me, concern clouded in his eyes. I didn't want to speak anything because I know I will break down anytime soon now.

I locked the door as soon as he enters. He pulled me into a long hug, his one hand playing with the strands of my hair and the other drawing imaginary circles on my back. This is one of his ways of consoling me. But this gesture of him and this way of him holding me always made several things turn around properly. The relief while I am stressed, the calmness when I am angry, and the encouragement when I feel hopeless. I closed my eyes and press my head closer to his chest, the rhythmical music of his heartbeat was relaxing him. He pulled me closer, I was breaking down. I grip the back of his shirt, hide my face more into his chest and the first tear escaped out of my eyes. His hand which was playing with my hair just a moment ago was caressing my neck, making me forcefully look at him, he placed a kiss on my forehead and the next tear made its journey out of my eye. We haven't spoken a single word to each other since we walked out of Akash's house. I wanted him to speak, I wanted to hear that magical voice that automatically makes my lip curve into a smile, eyes crinkle, and make my dimples visible.

"We got this. It's going to be fine+, he said with a smile.

I look into his eyes and weakly smile despite all the despair feelings which were consuming me. I don't speak anything, because he understands me even without a word out of my mouth.

He kept stroking my cheek while leaning more into his touch and he walks me backward until we reached our bed, he gently made me sit on the bed and crawls and lie on it. I look at him with water welling up in my eyes. I lie down pressing my head against his chest instead of the pillow adjacent to him. His one hand snaked around my back holding me tightly against him and the other kept stroking my hair in slow, calm movements. And that's where I lost my last strand of contract, my shoulder started to shake, my hold on his biceps grow tighter I am sure I am going to leave marks there because of my nails digging into his skin. I start to cry without making a single noise and even he keeps quiet, giving me space. I stop my weeping after 10 minutes but didn't move away. I wanted to stay in his warmth.

"Why did you cry?", he asked

"We are left with no way to find the killer or to prove me innocent", I said

"Baby, we can find a new clue soon"

"None of the people Rohit knew, did this"

"There might be someone else who...", he was interrupted by the knocks on my door.

He checked who it was and it was Mathew. He asked us both to come to living the room because Shrey has come here to check on me. He had become a good friend to us and so he is here knowing that I would be all weeping now.

"Megha we will find out what to do next", he said reassuringly, patting my head

"How?", I asked in a voice that was merely heard.

"Maybe we are not on the right path"

"What do you mean?"

"It need not have to be a person related to Rohit who has done this. Why can't it be like something related to trafficking you know medical crime is common nowadays?"

"God! Shrey at last he proved that you are a policeman", I exclaimed in relief.

"You are mean", he pouted

"Get ready people, I guess I know what to do next", I said

Mission search in the hospital is on now.