Zero Saints Thirty

Jackie: Hermano, I know you're really proud of how you pulled all that old music out from the Old Net, but I don't think right now is the time to blast Aerosmith across the comms link.

My brother's message played in my mind while I ran like a bat out of hell down the route to the missile silo at the heart of the Arms Fort. In my hand remained the Governor's tech heart that I rapidly reprogramed for my use, the nanites shifting it into a sharp blade that I pushed into my chest until it came into contact with one of my hearts and sank under my skin.

Big Juan: No, hermano. Now is the exact time.

I didn't have time to sit around and let the nanomachines get to work. Nor the materials. Instead I rounded a final corridor that took me right to the launch site as the missile rose through the silo while 'I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing' played.

V: Juan, the PA system has announced the launch of 'The Big One'. What's going on?

Big Juan: Tripped a fail safe for if the Arms Fort was stopped or the CO was killed. Nuke big enough to destroy all of California, sink it into the ocean. Don't worry, I got this.

V: What are you planning, Big Guy?

I ran down a service platform and leapt onto the rocket, using my limited capacity with the nanomachines to harden my fingers as I dug them into the metal shell.

Big Juan: Plan? Ride the rocket, climb the rocket, yank the detonator, profit.

Rebecca: OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO HOT! HOLY SHIT!

Ciri: Exactly how dangerous is this?

As the rocket sped through the air I arrived at a panel that I yanked off and thrust my arm into to disable the first detonator.

Big Juan: Already 50 percent done.

V: Are your rocket boots rated for that kind of fall?

Big Juan: Armor got destroyed. Boots are fucked.

I had to scramble to get out of the way of a loose panel tearing off further up the rocket because aparently Texas can afford to build a mobile fortress the size of a small city, and its twin currently attacking the NUSA, but ran out of budget on their doomsday bomb. Or maybe they predicted that I would be climbing around trying to stop it.

Jackie: Then how are you -

Kenworth: Can't you meatbags tell? The Boss is sacrificing himself to save California.

V: Juan! No! Fuck California, save yourself!

I reached the next panel then killed the bomb, which also killed the thrust and The Big One and I began losing altitude.

Big Juan: Too late, already disarmed the bomb. Currently dropping back to the ground.

V: Oh God no! Ciri, do something!

Ciri: I… I don't -

The brief flash in Enhanced Sensor range where Ciri ported roughly a football field away from me was quite impressive considering her general lacking capabilities for blind teleportation. She ported right back when she realized she was now falling through the air, but it's the thought that counts.

She tried to get to me two more times before I called the effort off.

Big Juan: I'm good. Unless something happens The Big One and I are going to crash in the Colorado River just behind Hoover Dam.

The missile struck like the fist of God and plowed all the way down to the riverbed. I dropped the perk point I'd picked up after defeating Armstrong into Aquaboy and all of a sudden it didn't seem to matter that the sinking missile pulled me down deep into the reservoir where the water pressure is over 300 PSI, or that normally I'm too dense to float, and not equipped to survive underwater.

I got used to breathing in river water and moving around like a merman quickly, and got over the experience even faster, swimming up to the surface and climbing up upon the walls of the Black Canyon. I sat atop it and looked down at the Hoover Dam and the broken bypass bridge beyond it.

After letting everyone know I was fine I exited comms and considered things. You'd think saving the entire state of California would have granted me far more good karma than to just wipe the slate clean for how I'd lived my life the last two years, but then again jumping on a nuke and riding it into the Colorado posed very little actual danger to me, and thus it was less an act of heroism and more an act of good service.

Regardless of how the karmic scales are weighed, I had a fresh slate. It was time to examine my life and make the changes needed to align myself with Christ. To repent my evil deeds and wicked ways. To hold the lives of my fellow man sacred. To stop treating women like whores. To set a righteous example for the children.

Psych.

After evaluating my life I determined that Ain't Like That Now is just the name of a perk, and that past Juan is a fucking genius. Sure, the world may be an even more dangerous place because I refused to cut a freak out of my life even though I knew she was an interdimensional trouble magnet, but you know what kind of guy does that? Lets go of everything in his life that poses a threat. A pussy. A bitch. Big Juan is no man's bitch.

Looking down at the water, I felt great satisfaction and a great desire to buy a boat. A big motherfucking boat. With lots of bitches decorating it. I think I'll call it...

The Implication

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Alright gentlemen, that's the climax of the Metal Wars. There's going to be an interlude that will set up the major driving force for the future conflict next chapter, then there will be some falling action in Cyberpunk before Juan and Ciri exit for The Witcher. After that things get weird.