My Suspense

"Anu, what are you doing in the bathroom so late, daughter?"

My mother called me, I suddenly regained consciousness after hearing her voice.

and replied a little nervously , "No... ! Nothing mom, I was just wearing clothes."

Saying this, I cleaned the tears flowing from my eyes and then again started looking at myself in the mirror in front of me. I was looking at my eyes lest my mother see these tears, then the next moment I took a deep breath and And came out half dressed and looked at her mother with a smile and went back to my dress .

My mother probably guessed that I was crying inside and she looked at me angrily and then while going out of my room said , " Get ready and come down, put the food on the table." And she went down from there.

I was suddenly surprised and sat down on my bed and while talking to myself said, " Despite all my efforts, how can she see my tears, ahh ! ! ! Now maybe this crying has to end here because my mother also gets upset because of me.

Maybe you guys are getting confused as to what was making me cry😊 To tell you the truth, you people will feel very strange after knowing the reason or maybe you people will feel my problem.

Actually, I am a hosteler, I have been staying in a girls hostel since 3rd standard.

I have just finished my schooling And now my parents are sending me off to college . I am missing my hostel a lot, I had become so attached to that hostel that I don't even have that much attachment to my own home.

And I have been crying for a week, my mother also got upset seeing me crying.

One reason behind my tears not stopping was that I was feeling very lonely or we can say that I had become lonely.

And all my friends had separated from me. We tried hard to finish college together but it did not happen. Because my parents wanted me to graduate from a good university for which they were sending me abroad.

My friends probably can't go there. I'm most scared of a new environment.

Because in these 10 years I have not gone anywhere except hostel and home and now suddenly I have to go out of my country.

After fixing my hair, I went straight downstairs to have dinner where my father, my old grandmother and one of my younger sisters and younger brother were also sitting.

I looked at my grandmother with an unwanted smile and then lovingly stroked my younger sister's hair and sat in my place.

Seeing my downcast face, my father asked me, "What's wrong, daughter? You seem very upset these days."

On this question of my father, I started looking towards my mother without answering, my mother who had not told this thing to anyone till now, today got upset with this behavior of mine and said on my father's words, " Your dear daughter has gone mad, she does not want to go abroad to study, she wants to study here with her friends, please explain to this stupid girl. Children yearn to go there, children from our place do not even dream of going abroad and if they are getting a chance to go, they are doing drama."

Hearing my mother's words, my father looked at me with surprise and said, swallowing the morsel he had eaten in his mouth, "Is it true that you do not want to go abroad?"

I got nervous at this question from my father. I didn't know what to say because he was so happy about my going abroad. He had told everywhere among his relatives and his friends that my daughter was going to study abroad and I was refusing to do so here.

I looked at him a little nervously and said, " It's not like that, I'm just a little nervous and I'm thinking that I don't know how I will live away from my home and my country, I don't know what the people will be like, what the atmosphere will be like."

I had not even finished speaking when father interrupted me and said, " You don't need to worry about that, even though I will be here, I will take care of all the chaos there for you."

After my father said so much, it seemed as if I had no words left to say and I left my breakfast midway and went towards my room.

They saw me going but did not even once try to stop me, I felt as if my parents did not care about my problems.

I wanted to cry and I locked my room from inside and went straight to my bed and sat down and tears started falling from my eyes on my pillow, my breathing was also very fast.I was feeling very lonely.

Maybe at that time I needed someone who could put his hand on my shoulder and tell me not to worry at all, everything will be fine, but there was no one to tell me this . And perhaps this very thing was increasing my pain even more.

The whole day had passed but I did not come out of my room. I did not know what was happening in my house, my younger brothers and sisters, my grandmother, what is this my mother doing?

I only knew that my father would not be at home, he must have gone out somewhere on business and had not returned yet.

I was lying on my bed tossing and turning when suddenly someone opened the door of my room.

I close my eyes quickly without looking towards the door. I had no idea who it was, whether it would be my mother or my grandmother, but someone has come into my room. After realizing that someone had entered my room, I pretended to sleep and closed my eyes.

I was wondering who might have come when suddenly I heard a voice in my mind, "Anu! Are you really sleeping?"

After hearing my mother's voice, I did not understand what answer I should give her, I did not open my eyes and kept taking the same. My mother came and sat next to me, running her hand lovingly through my hair and said, " It is possible that today only I and your father are feeling against you or you may be feeling that both of us do not love you and we have nothing to do with your problem,But it's not like that, daughter ! Very soon you will realize that the decision we are taking for you is not wrong."

Hearing these words of my mother, I wanted to stay and I immediately turned and hugged her chest and then said, " I don't understand right or wrong right now, mother, I just know that I don't want to go.I have never gone out of the house alone, so please tell me how will I live outside this country."

My mother did not respond to my statement and we both remained hugging each other for a long time.

(around 9:30 pm)

My father was comfortably checking some messages on his phone when I came down and saw that there was food on the table.

Once I looked like my mother and then sat on the chair next to my father. After some silence, suddenly remembering something he said, " You're not the only one going to California I've got one for you My friend has a son, today during a conversation I came to know that he is also taking admission in the University of California. As soon as I came to know, I immediately went to meet him and I also told him about you. He was a very nice and intelligent boy. He told me that he will take full care of you. After going there, he will stay with you as long as you need him. If you both become good friends , So I think it would be even better."

It was a great relief to hear that someone who knew me was going there with me.

But still I was very confused because I had neither seen the boy nor I knew him, I could not trust a stranger blindly like this.But my father was talking in such a way that it seemed as if he had started trusting the boy a lot since the first meeting, so maybe he was really a good boy.

I was a little happy and I don't know why my restlessness had reduced considerably.

I was very excited to know about the boy but I did not have the courage to ask my father his name.

( After some silence)

I was just thinking about mustering up the courage to ask her what the boy's name was when my father placed the phone in his hand on the table and said, "Tomorrow his father is coming to our house and maybe Shivank will also come along."

Hearing this I said smilingly in my mind, " ohh ! So his name is Shivank, today it is a better name than I thought."

The whole day had passed, it was about 11:00 in the night and I had not yet slept, I was turning on my side and just thinking about that boy.

I myself did not know why she was thinking so much about a boy whom I have not yet seen and whom I do not even know.

Even after trying for a long time, I was not able to get him out of my mind, then I suddenly got irritated, sat up and started taking deep breaths.

" Annu! What has happened to you, why are you thinking about that girl, maybe she is not as good as you are thinking, How could I be so stupid, thinking about a boy I have never seen? Why is all this happening to me that I have really lost my mind?" I asked myself while talking to myself

After thinking for a while, she suddenly started talking to herself again and while trying to answer herself, she started understanding herself and said," Maybe all this is happening to me because he will be the first boy to enter my life. Apart from my cousin, I have never met any boy, I have only seen boys from a distance.But still, it is not a good thing to be so excited, I don't know what kind of boy he is and I don't know how he looks." After saying this, I held my head and pulled my hair and lay down on my bed and said to myself in irritation, " Now just do it, how much will you think about him, you crazy girl, whatever he is, he is going to meet you in a few days or maybe you both will meet as soon as possible, then what is the point of sleeping about him?" I suddenly said this while shouting and then suddenly fell silent. I had closed my eyes and I don't know when I fell asleep. I didn't even realize it.

( Second morning....)

" Annu! It's 8:00 in the morning, what has happened to you, how are you still sleeping? You kept using the phone till late at night, don't lie?" My mother asked me a question while trying to wake me up.

" Ohhh! Come on mumma ,It's only 8 o'clock, let me sleep, I told you well that I hardly use the phone." I answered my mother's question with my eyes closed.

"Yes, okay, but some guests have come downstairs, maybe they want to meet you too. Your father is calling you. If he asks, then I don't know. You will have to answer what you were doing till now. " My mother, while arranging my table and understanding my books, said,

" Who will come to meet me? Who knows me here? I have just come from the hostel. "

Saying this, I suddenly got up and sat down. One thing immediately came to my mind that the boy about whom father was talking yesterday has not come to meet me. Oh no, if it has happened then it is very bad. I am not even ready yet. Seeing my appearance, no one will like me. I should take a bath as soon as possible and get ready immediately.

After thinking so much, I got up from my bed and ran towards the bathroom. My mother kept looking back at me. She did not understand what happened to me suddenly. All I heard was that she said, " What happened to this girl suddenly?"

I went straight and stood in front of the mirror and after taking a few deep breaths, I slowly slapped my face a few times and then picked up the brush and started brushing quickly.

I couldn't understand what I was feeling at the time. Was I excited or nervous? I don't know. I was just trying to look as beautiful and intelligent as possible.

I came back to my wardrobe and started looking for the most decent clothes in my clothes and then quickly went and took a bath.

Although I was the most beautiful girl in my family, in my neighborhood and among my friends, my complexion was very fair and at the same time my height and my figure were also very attractive.I often received compliments from people about my beauty, but today I don't know why I was trying to make myself look more beautiful. Was I doing all this for a stranger whom I didn't even know, whom I hadn't even seen yet, but I didn't even know why?

There were thousands of questions in my mind but I don't know why I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't understand why I was doing all this. Why has someone become so important to me all of a sudden?What difference does it make whether that unknown boy likes me or not? I had to marry him. We both were just going to study abroad together, then why am I doing all this for him?Shouldn't I first let him know about the boy and whether he deserves all this or not, whatever I am doing for him?

All this was happening to me for the first time and there was some fault of my age in this because children of my age are often attracted like this, especially when they have always been so far away from boys.

But here the matter was even more serious because here I was attracted to a boy whom I had not even seen.

After thinking for a long time and understanding myself, I again changed my clothes and wore the same clothes that I usually used to wear at home and while sitting on my bed I was lost in some thought.

Then suddenly again my mother opened the door and scolded me and said , " Your mind is fine, right? What are you doing? If you didn't want to go, you would have told me. You got up and went to the bathroom so fast and it's so late, why haven't you come yet? I have been telling them for so long that she will come down after some time but you are not coming down, finally I had to come here to call you. "

" Ohh ! Forgive me mom, I forgot, it had slipped my mind.Forgive me mom, I forgot, it had slipped my mind."

After saying this, I immediately got up from my place and went down to meet them.