Chapter Thirty One: Sachiel

The first thing I did was check my suitcase. It was the package of information Lord Adremelech handed me. I manifested all of the knowledge into one suitcase, separated into several files. There was a file for her past-lives, and another file for her personality-shaping life events. There was a file for her fears and the places she lived. Everything that defined her. Everything that she permitted to be known to outside entities.

I was impressed with how much we knew. It seemed like quite a lot of information for one human being. I don't think I personally ever looked into someone so closely. We even had a file on timelines that were far distant and not relevant-- events that would never came to pass and only passively effected who Wendy is as a person. I just didn't understand how this one human affected our brother Meresin so much. A brother that seemed more monster than angel.

After making sure all the files were in order, Lord Adremelech gifted me with one more thing. It was a small keycard.

"This," he said, "Is a passport to the machine. If for any reason you need to tap into fortune's vibration, you simply use this keycard," explained Adremelech.

"I don't understand," I said, feeling shameful that everything needed explaining to me.

Lord Adremelech barred his teeth. His eyes were yellow, too, like Azazel's. The two looked alike-- brothers Azazel and Adremelech. Their avatars looked related. But, Lord Adremelech was far larger and fiercer in appearance. He was like a lion and a bear mashed into a man. Or like a bull and a tiger. His eyes were a deeper yellow, much like molten gold. His hair was more scarlet than copper, like blood from a pumping heart. He looked annoyed at me, but then, he always did. Lord Adremelech was an angry Devil.

"This keycard," he growled. "Is access to money. It is an interface to the machine. Should you need to tempt her-- use this. It will manifest money. If you become stuck in any way-- this will get you out of trouble. It is like a lifeline from me to you."

"Yeah," I agreed. "That will be handy."

I kept the keycard in my wallet.

I entered her room while she was sleeping. The room looked much smaller than I expected. It has been such a long, long time since I had been to Earth. The world looked much different after being saturated in low, evil vibrations. Everything looked... different. Everything was sharper, darker, and dirtier.

I wasn't sure if the room was small or if I was a little larger than I used to be. Wendy didn't have a screen in her window. A soft breeze exhaled into the house. She had a fan that squeaked when it rotated its head across the room, as if scanning her belongings over and over. She sifted in her bed as she slept, one arm wound around her pillow. She snored gently, unable to see me or hear me as I observed her.

I had a hard time remembering Guam. That was the last place I was stationed before I fell. I recall the woman I was observing and protecting was called Maria on the current timeline. Maria and Wendy were nothing alike. Maria wasn't gifted at talking to spirits or creating art. She was a simple woman without a lot of dreams. She just liked being alive.

I think I started missing her... and that's what made me fall. Missing her-- even though we never met. There was no other word or concept to call it. I just missed being around her company, even though we were just a hair's breath away from one another. That was the last thing I remember.... before meeting Lord Adremelech, anyway. I wondered if that was what brother Meresin was experiencing, just in his own way.

I began to feel a little sympathy for Meresin. I couldn't help myself. The longer I was away from Lord Adremelech's influence, the more clear headed I felt. That's probably why Lord Adremelech was afraid to let me do this, I reasoned. That was probably why he had me take his keycard. Though, I still felt very strongly that my future lie in being a part of him. I knew that was my fate and I wasn't about to question it.

For the time being, I intended to enjoy my freedom. It reminded me of the old days before I fell. Where I just watched without intervening, except when directly ordered to do so.

Most of my time was spent on the present-day, present-time timeline. I didn't usually go back in time, the way Azazel did. My life before I fell seemed infinitely simpler.

It does make me feel stupid. It makes me feel naive. The fact is that I am not dumb, but perhaps uneducated. It made me think back about the time before time-- with the first humans, Adam and Eve. I could only assume that they felt much the same way. I realized that unlocking knowledge was negative energy much the same way unlocking empathy was unlocking positive energies, but both were equally significant. I was just unfamiliar with this end of the spectrum.

Wendy went about her day and I followed like a lost dog. I must say, she was an interesting person. She talked on her phone with her friends and helped her young daughter with schoolwork. She was always chipper in her approach of things. She always seemed to be in a good mood, despite bad news or setbacks. She was remarkable in the small, micro decisions she made. She went about her day pushing back the negative energies attempting to gum up the gears in her little world.

It was as if negative energies were repelled by her. Or were stripped away by her presence. She had natural shields around her. Her natural, bright red aura always shined, and never dulled by the day-to-day wear and tear, like most humans. I took notes. I wanted Lord Adremelech to know exactly what kind of person we were dealing with. A good person. A good person who also seemed to be working her own small magics. She kept an altar to the Goddess energy and for good health and good fortune.

The altar acted as a receiver to these energies, inviting it into her home. So long as she kept it clean and continued offerings, the Goddess energy of the Creator was flowing openly as intended. I could easily see why brother Meresin fell in love with this human: she was a exceptional person in every way-- because she exploded with bright, creative, magical energy emanating from deep within the Creator. In studying her aura, I found that Wendy's makeup was practically perfect. It naturally repelled negativity and only radiated with strong, vibrant light. Admittedly, there were so few humans who seemed to shine so brightly.

Normally humans who were so strong in their energy and personality were hard targets. They did not take to being possessed so easily by outside spirits. I did not see any indication that Wendy had any spirit inside her other than herself. However, she often attracted spirits, elementals, ghosts, and faeries. I did take notice that they often followed her around. She could hear them very well. I also made sure to hide myself especially well. I wasn't sure how good she was on picking up angels-- or ones that were currently saturated with negative energy. A fallen angel, such as myself.

Occasionally, Wendy was followed by a human spirits-- ghosts.

None of these ghosts could see me, but they could often see one another. One of the ghosts in particular was one of her family members that passed away when she was young and came in to check on her when the conditions were right. His name was Aaron, her cousin. I found some record of him in her file case. They were not particularly close in life, but were still family and belonged to the same spirit cluster.

I wasn't sure what Lord Adremelech was looking for that wasn't in her files, so I wanted to absorb what I could. I also wasn't sure how long I was meant to follow her. So much has happened to me in such a short span of time, I began to feel lost and shuffled around-- not unlike Wendy's file folder.

First I was an angel. Since time doesn't exist in the higher vibrational places, Heaven feels like it barely happened to me. In just an instant, I fell. All I remember is... I was in heaven, then I was stationed on Earth to look after several families. The one I recall most distinctly was the family in Guam, with a human named Maria. I didn't get to look after them for very long. Then, I fell. I fell directly in front of Lord Adremelech, near the beach. Now I am here. Here is a very strange place. Earth is a very weird place. I am working for the Devil in hopes to save us all.

As I pondered my predicament, I once again opened the business-man suitcase and shifted through Wendy's files. These were her personal files with every detail Lord Azazel had collected about her. It included her favorite foods and all the names of her ancestors-- including her past-lives. I was amazed at how much detail we had. I knew it couldn't be everything, but almost everything. So much detail to one particular person in the universe.

Near the bottom of the pile of her paperwork was a file I must have overlooked. The file was titled "sex/sexuality." I gulped and felt blood pool into my face just looking at the words—sex. Sexuality. I wanted to flip through the papers, but I felt my hand begin to shake. It appeared Lord Azazel had put a lot of work into the file. There was a lot of information in it, at least an inch thick. I wasn't sure what could possibly be. Was it pornographic? Did the file have a lot of detail? I wasn't sure what to think.

Well, I am fallen—I reasoned. Surely I could have a look. Lord Adremelech gave the files to me to read, after all. Even though it was forbidden for us angels to look at humans sexually... there has been a lot of history and precedence to it. I sat in Wendy's closet, near the spirit portal in her room. Closets, attics, and basements were the liminal places that spirits loved to climb in and out of to reach Earth.

It was the middle of the night, near the 'witching-hour,' which is Lord Azazel's time, 3AM. It was the time that the Veil was thinnest, and spirits of every kind found it easiest to pass through portals into Earth's present timeline. I wasn't paying attention as I was reading Wendy's files and gathering ideas to bring to Lord Adremelech. I was fairly certain that he would find any new information pertaining to her sexuality as very interesting... so I knew I had to become familiar with it, first.

Wendy was asleep, so her consciousness had one foot in the spirit world. I wasn't afraid of anything, I was simply studying, trying to understand her a little better. But, I wasn't paying close attention to my surroundings, either. I was certain I had my camouflage on, to keep other spirits and ghosts from seeing me or detecting my presence. As usual, Wendy's house had bumps and creaks. Some of it was her oldest child getting snacks from the kitchen, some of the noise was faeries lurking in her house as if they owned the place.

In diving into her file, I found that Wendy dated men and women. Like the rest of her personality, she was open, caring, and non-judgmental. Truly she was filled with untarnished love, a rare element. It still boggled me that Lord Meresin had feelings for her, since she was impervious to bad influences-- like the Devil. Everything negative seemed to bounce off of her, like she was invincible. I would think that the devil would target more easily manipulated people for a relationship. Her charts read as if bad things bounced off her like water off a duck's back. I found that she last dated a woman, named Alterra. It didn't work out because unfortunately, Alterra was met with an early death.

The more I read the more interesting it seemed. I never got to see such tiny details in a singular human before. No wonder Lords Azazel and Adremelech were so good at their jobs, I realized. As I flipped the page, a single stream of light fell onto the words. I glanced up to see I was being stared at. I could feel the eyes laying upon me heavily. I sat in the bottom of her blackened closet with loads of papers stacked around me. The open suitcase remained at my side. At first I was shocked-- then I immediately calmed down. They couldn't see me, I reasoned-- how could they? I had myself cloaked with layers of magical forces.

It was none other than Aaron, Wendy's dead cousin. Then, when Aaron's eyes did not move and instead began to focus on my face, I knew that I was wrong. He could see me. In fact Aaron was gawking at me.

"Who're you?" asked Wendy's cousin, Aaron.

"You can see me?" I inquired curiously, already knowing the answer. I just wanted to know how.

"Of course I can see you, but you're not... not..."

"Not human? Not a human ghost? No, I'm not," I said as I closed Wendy's personal files with shame.

"Yeah, right? I'm not even sure what I'm seeing," said Aaron. "You're definitely not a person. Like a bunch of sentient... fractals or something. What are you doing in my cousin's closet?"

"None of your business," I snapped. Then, I attempted to soften my tone. "official... angel business," I added.

"You're an angel? That's so cool. That makes sense. I don't think I've ever seen one before," said the ghost. "No wonder they say, 'be not afraid,' because... I still can't make sense of what I'm seeing, and I've seen lots of weird things since being dead."

"Could you... shoo? Like, go away? I'm seriously busy here," I said uncomfortably, hoping to dismiss the human. Yet, I did not mean to be rude.

"In Wendy's closet?" Aaron boggled.

"Yes, in Wendy's closet. It is the closest to the portal," I said, vaguely waving my arm at the door leading in and out of the spirit world.

"Are you... a guardian angel or something?" asked Aaron, ignoring my requests to leave.

I wasn't sure if I should lie-- because I'm fallen-- or if I should tell the truth of the matter.

"Well, I'm an angel but I'm not guarding anything," I replied, annoyed.

"What are those?" asked Aaron, nodding to the pile of Wendy's personal information on the floor.

"Oh, nothing, but you can't have it," I grumbled, gathering it all up and guarding it. "Listen, human mortal, I am a very important angel on a very important mission. It is something your puny mind cannot comprehend. It is of... of monumental importance that you must leave me alone."

For some reason, the human ghost still stood before me. I was not sure if he was simply stubborn or just very stupid. I did read in Wendy's file that she was not easily frightened. I wondered if it was a family trait. I knew nothing about Aaron, other than he was Wendy's distant cousin who happens to pop in on the living members of his family any chance he had. A lot of dead humans were like this- clannish and protective of their members.

I realized what I had to do. Maybe it was a test the Creator set before me, but maybe it wasn't-- because the Creator can neither hear nor see fallen angels anymore. I realized I had to scare him. I had to do something against my program and nature. I had to be mean. I had to... hurt him a little, somehow. I had to become the Devil, like Lord Adremelech.

I knew that he saw me as some complex structure of shapes and colors. I didn't realize that I would be seen, or I would have put on my 'human' suit. I was caught off guard and in my natural state. He had trouble understanding what he was seeing, but knew that I was a spirit creature with sentience. I wanted to change shape right before his eyes. I wanted to look like something dark and scary. I wanted him to realize his mistake. I was the Devil now, right? I was-- am-- a fallen angel. A creature very bad, very dark, and very mean.

This was all still new to me. I never scared a human, dead or alive, on purpose before. I didn't build a scary name or reputation just yet. Heck, I thought I was just going to become a piece of Lord Adremelech, (but he kept putting it off again and again.) I didn't know what frightened Aaron, but I did my best to take a guess. I made myself look and feel suddenly large and I took a page from Lord Meresin. I made myself look like a dark, nondescript black blob with layers of mouths and teeth. The teeth were jagged and like shards of broken glass. I kept adding details as I thought of them. I had no idea if this would work, so I kept putting more and more on the monster until I just looked like an absurd evil Christmas tree.

Luckily, it worked. It worked so well, that he left behind traces of himself on the closet floor. Curiously, I devoured the energy. I've never purposefully eaten negative energy. It made me feel powerful and weird. I suddenly knew more things about Aaron, as if I had taken in a chunk of his consciousness and made it part of myself.

With Aaron vanished and my belly full of energy, I felt rejuvenated, finally. I felt a little more clear-headed, too, as if a small part of Lord Adremelech chipped away from me. I felt more like myself- a separate, unique entity, for perhaps the first time in my existence. I was Sachiel, a ranking Cherubim, whose name meant the 'Covering of the Creator' and who once sang the glories of the universe. I also looked over a mortal named Maria, just before I fell. I think that was when I felt most proud of myself. I longed for that feeling again.

For a moment, I looked past the closet door and saw Wendy in her bed, moments before daybreak. The gold-white sun slipped through her window and illuminated her bed sheets. I thought of Maria, and regretted not being there for her. If only there was a way I could make up for what I couldn't do, or what I did wrong. I just didn't know what I did wrong, I never was told why I fell.

Then, a strange thought occurred to me. What if Wendy was in danger—with so many fallen angels interested in her. She was a good person with a good heart. Every page in her file described how kind and talented she was. She deserved better, I thought, then to have her life ruined by Lord Meresin or Lord Azazel. Surely, I realized, with them interfering so much, they will come to ruin her. She was a human with a golden heart.

I dropped down on my hands and knees and rifled through her paperwork. I knew she had several near death experiences. If I could save her from her first near death experience, it would be harder for her to hear and talk to spirits. Maybe it could even prevent this all from happening. Maybe saving her would stop Lord Meresin from interfering with her.

I doubted myself even as I used the paperwork to travel back along Wendy's timeline. It felt a lot like traveling with Lord Azazel. Jagged, jarring, and unpleasant. As I warped along Wendy's timeline, I felt like I was going to throw up. I felt like I was about to do something stupid. I wasn't sure if this would fix anything, or mess everything up, or maybe change nothing at all. It was just something I wanted to do. I was doing it for me.

Then, I found myself standing beside a well maintained public pool. I knew I was in the past. The past always felt less solid. I was seeing things through Wendy's point of view, instead of the collective point of view of all the humans at once. Then, I spotted her floating in the pool. It wasn't hard to realize she was drowning.