Chapter 189 - 189. The Incompetent Regressor

My eyes fluttered open.

I still couldn't fall asleep.

Sunlight was seeping in through the cracks in the windows. The rain that seemed like it would never stop finally stopped.

I closed my eyes again.

Even now, when I closed my eyes, Zeto's bluish eyes shimmered.

It was the second time I looked into his eyes.

If there is a clear difference from before, it is that the last time he died in my arms, and this time he started breathing again in someone else's arms.

It was a very big difference.

I took a breath and straightened my body.

I drank water that was cold enough to make my throat cold.

It was not a dream.

Nor was it a fantasy.

Zeto is revived.

What was lost is back.

The reason is not clear.

The only thing that matters is that it's not what I did.

Was that why I couldn't be happy?

Because I wasn't the one who brought him back?

The one who had to revive him, the one who had to protect him was supposed to be me, but I couldn't?

That's not it.

The person who died, the person he loved was resurrected, but there was nothing wrong with mentioning such an unlikely reason.

Then, what is the identity of this emotion that is felt in a corner of the heart?

The moment I reached that thought, the mirror on the other side caught my eye.

"Ah..."

I looked in the mirror and had a familiar expression.

It's the same as back then.

Those eyes were those of someone he didn't want to lose.

It was a terribly thick feeling that at some point subsided.

It was a memory that only I had.

It was a relationship that only I can remember.

So I had to be patient.

I'd get him into trouble if he behaved any more.

It was definitely like that then.

But I lost him again.

Despite getting it back, I lost him.

Miracle-like luck came to me.

It was given another chance.

It was different from before.

Now Jeto also had my memories, memories with me.

So there was no fear of revealing.

I just think so.

Do I have the right to be with him?

Two failures.

Failed twice.

My incompetence and guilt weighed on me.

Well, those were all ugly thoughts.

I threw my heavy body onto the bed and collapsed, turning my head to look outside the window instead of the empty ceiling.

The warm sunlight after that day.

Peaceful morning after that day.

Fresh air after that day.

Jeto gave me a hand.

Hope of tomorrow.

But what am I thinking?

He was truly a pathetic regressor.

"...Ah."

I'm not really a regressor anymore.

It was no longer possible to know what would happen in the future, but the important thing was that I was able to walk through that uncertain future with him.

The only thing left is for the future to unfold with him that he hoped for and aspired for.

It was like a miracle.

Upon reaching that thought, I jumped out of bed.

I couldn't stand it any longer.

I wanted to meet Jeto.

I wanted to see Jeto.

***

"Ummm..."

While carefully examining my condition, the academy medical officer, Priscilla, drool.

"Is something wrong?"

"...A lot of problems."

Priscilla, who looked at the report she was holding in her hand, scratched her head and continued her words.

"The trauma to her abdomen has completely disappeared without a trace, but her left arm is completely unfeeling as a reparable wound... No wonder, since it literally vanished. Her eyes, too..."

"..."

"I came back to life, but it felt like it only allowed me to breathe again."

Regeneration enough to continue life again.

Priscilla's reasoning was correct.

"...I'm satisfied. Where can I breathe and speak like this now?"

"Well, you're right. Even this much would be enough to call it a miracle. But..."

Priscilla, who was looking at me with an awkward smile, blurted out her words.

"...There's no guarantee that a miracle will happen twice. That's why it's called a miracle. Anyway, you died once. You know what that means, right?"

"What do you want to say?"

"Stop here..."

"..."

"I don't think I had any intention of doing that. Haa... Anyway, I insist..."

Priscilla glances at my smile and sighs.

"Everything is good, but I shouldn't have worried.

For some reason, Priscilla's murmurings were tender.

On the one hand, she thought that maybe she was lucky that she was this far away.

If she had a deeper relationship with Priscilla than she does now, the place I was in could have been a small room with no light coming in, not an infirmary. It was a little scary to think about.

"Anyway, for the time being, it's better to just lie down and not think about going anywhere. I heard that the Holy Kingdom is in trouble because of this?"

"Haha... It makes sense."

The dead man miraculously came back to life.

Moreover, there was a saintess there, and the revived person said that he had met the main god, so there was bound to be an uproar.

"You mean... Do you know what people are calling you now?"

"What do you want them to be called? Hmm... Ghouls..."

"...Under."

Priscilla stood up from her seat and looked down at me with her eyes wide open.

"...It's a joke."

It was a masochistic joke thrown to lighten the mood, but the reaction was quite cold.

Soon after, she turned her head and spat out a word of her own.

"The one who returned from paradise."

"Paradise..."

Does it mean heaven or something?

"So I'm curious, how was Paradise?"

"Well, I'm not sure if it was paradise."

It certainly wasn't paradise.

Should I say it was my spiritual world?

But there was no reason to deny people's beliefs. After all, my resurrection had to be a 'miracle' involving the saintess and the main god.

Priscilla was about to leave the infirmary after such a meaningful conversation.

I called her urgently.

"Ah, Officer Priscilla."

"Huh?"

"When can I meet the others?"

"Hmm... I don't have a very big problem with my physical condition, I don't have a problem with my memory... My mental condition is good... If you want, I think you'll be fine starting today? I'm sure there are many people waiting."

Priscilla, who had been tapping her lips, looked at the report she was holding and said.

"Thank god."

"Then should I call my friends instead?"

Saying that, Priscilla opened the door.

"I don't think there's any need for that."

Because it's already here

Before long, a platinum-haired girl was standing in front of the open door.

Soon, Priscilla's eyes also contain her image.

"Eisel..."

"..."

Eisel, standing tall in front of the door without saying a word, just stared at me.

"Go in. You have a lot to share, don't you?"

Priscilla slipped away to Eisel's side and she gently pushed her on the back.

"I'll pass on the news to the others."

Soon, with Priscilla's voice, Eisel, who was pushed back, enters her infirmary and the door closes.

"..."

"..."

Silence passed after that.

Eisel still couldn't take her foot off her.

***

Jet-black hair, pure white bandages.

Smiles at me

There was no change or deterioration in that smile.

It was the kind smile she had been watching all along.

It was Jeto.

Jetto was alive and breathing right in front of her eyes.

"..."

What should I say?

What question were you going to ask?

It seemed like he had a lot to share, but his mouth was tightly closed and he couldn't open it.

It was because as soon as I saw him, my hair went white all at once.

"...Miss Eisel?"

Zeto tilts his head at the flowing silence.

I knew it when I saw it up close.

I could feel that he had been revived.

I'm so happy about that.

Because it is so happy

Nothing came into my mind.

I just tried to remember this moment, the smile of Zeto that I saw before my eyes.

A little closer.

Just one more step.

I want to feel your breath

When she came to her senses, she was right in front of his nose.

Grabbed his hand tightly.

I didn't want to miss out again.

"You know? Zeto did that. Now I don't have to be scared... I don't have to struggle... I'm so glad..."

"...It was."

"But the truth is..."

I conveyed the sincerity that I hadn't been able to convey before. I had a lot of questions to ask, but this was first.

"Losing Jeto...Was the scariest thing..."

The world without Zeto was all dark.

It was so frightening that I couldn't walk forward.

I was afraid.

It was hard to put his feet down.

"It was the hardest thing to let Jeto go..."

That I had to let go of his hand.

The hardest thing was never to see his smile again.

It was more bitter than any pain, more painful than any torture.

Vision blurs

Soon, tears fall down on the back of his hand.

"...Aisel-san, are you crying...?"

He raised his head in response to his question.

Same as back then.

Jeto's voice, which he thought was only a delusion.

Was it not my delusion or fantasy that I heard then?

I finally opened my mouth, wiping away the tears.

"I'm sorry... Jetto... I said I wouldn't cry..."

I told you not to cry

There was no way to stop the tears from flowing uncontrollably.

The words he uttered were the same as the previous time I had seen the sea with him.

However, the answer that followed was different.

"Are you okay."

"..."

"Because I just need to laugh more than that in the future... So..."

"..."

"...Wouldn't it be okay to cry now?"

Only then did I understand.

When he told me not to cry, I knew he would leave me forever.

I had to give up on him.

So I thought I shouldn't cry.

Just like he did to me, I wanted to let him go with a smile.

But Jeto came back to my side again.

He miraculously came back to life and was smiling the same way.

Now the fear, the fear is all gone.

I'm sure there will be nothing left to laugh about.

Because only happy moments will unfold.

So you can cry to your heart's content now.

You can tell.

Only then... I could understand.

"...More than anything else, Eisel-san is pretty even when she cries."

"Puhyuk, what is that... Don't play around."

"Oh, you're prettier when you cry and laugh?"

Zeto's sly voice.

"Really...?"

I could smile broadly.

I couldn't help but smile happily.

It was a funny joke about his blindness... Maybe it was because of his mood, but it didn't sound like a joke.

There are no more incompetent regressors who lived in the past.

In that place, only Eisel Lüdwig, who could smile at the future as usual, remained.